Chapter 11: I'm Sorry

Laying in the soft, plush mattress of the hospital bed I look out the nearby window with a sad expression on my face. Today was the day after our win against Seiho and Shutoku and I was spending it in the hospital. After arriving, I was told they did a numerous amount of tests and IV transfusions before they gave me the a final verdict. Of course it was severe dehydration. The explanation for blurry vision, nausea, cramps and delirium. But what pained me the most wasn't all that, it was being given the news by Satsu-chan that I was probably out of basketball for a week. Or better yet, 3-4 days if my body replenished that quickly. But what difference did it make? I failed the team of Seirin by letting not only them down, but myself. I wouldn't be able to play with them against our next opponent in the Inter-High preliminaries. Which I heard today would be against Touou. In a way, I was glad I didn't have to play against Aomine-kun. Half of it was because I didn't want to play against him and the other half was because I didn't want to see that much darker, stronger side of him come out. It wasn't that it frightened me, I just didn't know who he was anymore.

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my hair, I pick up the bottle of fluid the hospital was giving me every hour around the clock until I was discharged.

Suddenly, I hear a knock on my door and yell for them to come in. I'm surprised to see Kuroko-kun and the team quietly walk in.

"Imouto!" yell my senpai's, as they immediately rush my bed with their bodies, hugging me gently into them.

Relaxing into their hugs, I pull away and hug the coach.

"You're a stupid, stupid girl," she says, as she gently strokes the top of my head. Riko-senpai was the big sister I never had. I thanked God for having her as Seirin's coach.

"Why didn't you say anything?" asks Kagami-kun, as he takes a seat into the empty seat beside me. Although he doesn't show it, I could tell by the sudden change in aura around him that he was worried.

"S-Sorry, everyone. I'm really just a child who needs to be reminded to drink water every now and then," I say softly, as I once again find myself staring out the window. It was beautiful today. The sun was out, there were no clouds in the sky. Yet my mind was filled with cloudy thoughts of the past day. I couldn't remember half of the game against Shutoku, the thought of it depressing me. One of the biggest wins in my life and I couldn't even remember what my role in it all was. I was really pathetic.

Slowly, I find something creeping up my legs. It was…heavy and had four legs? Looking down, I cover my mouth in awe. The cuteness of the small thing was bringing tears to my eyes. Cuddling the small black and white puppy, he begins to lick my face affectionately. As I begin to rub his ears, I can't help but stare at his eyes. They were large and so blue. But they also had a blank feeling towards them. Looking back and forth between the puppy and Kuroko-kun, I finally realize the similarity.

"HE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU!" I yell out, as I point towards him and the puppy.

"We're calling him Tetsuya Nigou," says Riko-senpai, as she happily pats the dogs head. Looking to my right, I notice Kagami-kun beginning to shuffle farther and farther towards the open window.

"Kaga-kun?"

"He's afraid of dogs," says Koga-senpai, a smile on his face as he and the others watch Kagami-kun's misfortune. Climbing out of the bed, I begin to walk towards Kagami-kun with the fluff of mess in my hands.

"G-Get it away from me!" he yells, as he falls to the floor in panic.

"Ba-ka-ga-miii," I cheer, a usual insult that I called him.

"Y-Yuki-chan. Be careful. It's only been a day," says Izuki-senpai, as he knows that I shouldn't be getting too excited.

"I'll be fine, Izu-"

Slipping on a piece of clothing I had left on the ground, I find myself stumbling towards the opened window. Clenching Tetsuya Nigou in my grasp, I'm prepared to save it's life before my own. Kagami-kun grabs my arm back while Mitobe-senpai yanks the window shut.

"IDIOT! WERE YOU REALLY GOING TO SAVE THAT STUPID DOG?" yells Kagami-kun, as he hands me off to Hyuuga-senpai who sits me back down on the bed.

"But you'd be there to save me, right?" I laugh jokingly, as I hand Tetsuya Nigou back to Kuroko-kun. I watch as the puppy happily licks his cheek. The resemblance between the two was something else.

"So, they tell us you'll be out for a week or so," says the coach, as she takes a seat beside me on the bed. Not wanting to really look at her face in fear of disappointment, I force myself to and I'm surprised to what I find. Forgiveness, love, worry and understanding. This was the Riko-senpai I knew.

"We'll be fine, imouto. If anyone out of us I'd rather have it you taking it easy than anyone else," reassures Hyuuga-senpai, as he places a hard hold on top of my head. I remain silent, taking in the comforting love of my family. I wouldn't rather be spending my day in the hospital without these bunch.

"Hyuuga was really worried though. He called me at 3 in the morning crying if he should go and check on you," says Izuki-senpai, as a small grin appears on his face, rubbing his chin in amusement.

"Idiot! Says the one who started crying when the ambulance got there!" yells Hyuuga-senpai, shaking a laughing Izuki-senpai by the shirt.

"Don't forget Kagami-kun also had to be taken," says Hyuuga-senpai, sparing no one in his little rampage of truth.

I look at Kagami-kun, watching the blood drain from his face. He stares at the ceiling in humiliation.

"Kaga-kun? Why? What happened?" I ask, beginning to grow a little concerned. Seeing this, Riko-senpai places a comforting hand on my arm, calming me down.

"Bakagami couldn't walk. None of us wanted to carry him to the hospital," says Kuroko-kun, his voice serious and dull as he insults Kagami-kun.

"You say that like I was a burden!" yells Kagami-kun, as he walks to Kuroko-kun and begins to shake him by the shirt as well. All Kuroko-kun has to do is shove Tetsuya Nigou in his face for Kagami-kun to go flying down the other side of the room.

There's a knock on the door and one of the nurses pops her head in.

"I'm sorry, but the patient needs a few more tests to be done on her. You lively bunch are more than welcome to stop by any time," she says, her voice clearly being strained in order to say it in the most polite way as possible. I didn't blame her, we were being quite loud anyways and I'm sure that there were other patients unlike me who actually needed the rest.

Saying goodbye to my team mates and giving one last hug to Tetsuya Nigou, they tell me that they'd try to stop by again or if not tomorrow morning. Hyuuga-senpai told me to text them all as soon as I got news of being discharged.

And once again, I'm left alone to the darker side of myself. The resentful feelings I had that I was a failure. A child. Always needing to be looked after. I was hopeless.

The doctor and few other nurses who had been tending to me take a few a blood samples and breathing tests before refilling my IV. I thank them graciously as they leave me alone once again. Pulling out my phone in what had been a long time, I stare intently at my wallpaper. It was still the picture of the younger boy who had liked me. Him and myself together with a large smile on each other's faces. It had been taken the day after the sales of the calendars. A much simpler, quieter time. A time where I knew who I was, what I wanted and who I wanted.

Now I had no clue who I was. Did I let the dehydration incident get out of hand on purpose? I had the opportunity to drink water but I mentally denied it. I've always wanted to play basketball to prove myself as a woman player. I know that I've done it, or at least attempted to. I was perfectly fine with the way I was living my life. But, there was still the fact of who I wanted. I was never the type to invest my precious time into a boy who I liked. I dedicated everything to basketball. That was my excuse. Now that I had found someone like Aomine-kun, I was slipping away from basketball. How could I find a balance between the two? But what did it matter, Aomine-kun was still avoiding me. After talking to Satsu-chan this morning, she told me that after Aomine-kun had brought me to the ambulance, he was the only they offered to sit along with during the ride to the hospital. She told me he refused and after that she couldn't find him anywhere.

What pained me the most of this experience was that Aomine-kun declined to sit in the ambulance with me. Was that how much he still resented me?

Downing the last bottle of hospital fluid I had been given, I hide my body underneath the plush covers. Pulling them over my head, I really wish Satsu-chan was here, but she was busy at the preliminaries that were still going on. Better yet, I wish my two, elder brothers were here. I wonder if they knew about my condition. I hope they didn't scold Satsu-chan. That last thing I wanted was her feeling like it was all her fault. The last thing I would ever want was any of my friends to feel like my current condition was their fault. It wasn't.

Closing my eyes, I force myself to sleep. Let's face it, dreams were always better than facing reality.

Stirring around in my bed uncomfortably, I really wish I was lying in the comfort of my own bed. Slowly cracking my eyes open, I find that I managed to sleep until 7:30. Tugging the covers off of my face, I find that a plate of food is waiting neatly on a tray beside my bed. Sitting upright, I stare at the boring plate of food unhappily. It wasn't as if I was on a strict diet, just the food they were giving me was extremely bland and unappetizing. Reaching over, I try to grab the plate instead of pulling the tray towards me like a smart person. But due to the little common sense I had from time to time, I jump as the plate falls to the ground in the dimly lit room. Well, there went my dinner.

Suddenly the door to my room opens, welcoming in the bright light from the hallway.

"Ah, Satsu-chan. I…missed…."

Slowly trailing off, I force my eyes to adjust to the light faster. After a few moments they do, taking in the figure that had walked into my room. It was very tall and certainly did not have big breasts like Satsu-chan.

The shadow saunters quietly towards me. The first thing I see is it's beautifully long, white hair.

"Y-Yamaken?" I stutter helplessly, as I find my eyes beginning to water at the edges.

"It's pathetic seeing you like this," he mutters casually, as he takes a seat in the chair beside me.

I stare lovingly at my eldest brother, Yamaken. Being at the prime age of 24, he played for the basketball team in Miami. I only saw him once every year, due to his busy schedule. Our mom was always trying to get all of us together, but it never happened. Mostly because Yamaken took his basketball a little too seriously. He believed that training and training alone was the only thing that would get one far in the game. He did not rely on others because he deemed himself as the best player on the court. Passing to another play would only degrade his already superior skills. In general, Yamaken was cold and blunt. He held the rules and respect above all.

The only thing he and I shared in common was that we both had a love for the game. Other than that, his hair was noticeably long and soft, much lighter than the rest of us. Almost an angelic white. But he was nothing of the sorts. His eyes were slanted, deceitful and cunning in a way. Yamaken was always the proper one in the family. He didn't like nicknames, insolence or happy people like myself and our other brother. He always regarded me as feeble, unintelligent and almost always referred to me as "child". But deep down, I knew Yamaken had a heart and he did love me. Even though he was distant and crude most of the time.

"I see you dropped your food. How unfortunate," he muses out, as he begins to stare at me with judgmental eyes.

Squirming under his steely gaze, I try to ask him what he was doing here.

Silence suddenly fills the room, all you could hear were the light footsteps of the nurses travelling back and forth between the halls.

"To retrieve you. It's utterly clear that that cousin of ours can not properly look after a child like yourself. You've made our mother into a worrisome type now. Which has begun to interfere in not only my life, but that bratty brother of ours as well. You'll be spending the Summer with me until I find it fit that you can handle life in Japan with-"

"N-No way! I need to spend the Summer here with the team and prac-"

"Practice? Please. From what I've seen, they are nothing more than an average high school team full of-"

"You're wrong! They're determined, strong willed, focus, caring, lov-"

"Yes, because all those things matter on a court? In a game? The only thing you need by your side is power and power alone. If you would only hold that notion by your heart, then maybe you'd be as good as you look," he scoffs out, as he daintily rubs some lint that had caught onto his black, cashmere sweater off to the ground.

"You won't be here for the Summer and that's that. It is not only mine, but mother's wishes. So I advise you push away the matter and agree."

Looking away from his ice like gaze, I look down at my dry, tattered hands. Years of basketball had made them rough and worn out. I needed to be here for the Summer. I needed to go by my days knowing that I had a hard working team to work with, to wake up every morning to my loving, bubbly cousin. And I also needed Kise-kun to keep me on my toes and bring me back to reality. But most importantly, I needed Aomine-kun. For a numerous amount of reasons that I could find myself to even say.

But, I'd be gone for 2 months. Looking at it now, that was a lot of time. Maybe I needed it to reflect on myself and the things I wanted to achieve?

Hesitantly I nod my head, agreeing to his words.

"Hm. Well, I'll go and tell the nurses that you've made a mess out of your dinner. I would've brought you something to eat, but you are the one who put yourself in this God awful place. I'll see it that I sign your papers for your discharging. After that, we'll be immediately catching a flight home," he says quietly and sternly, as he gets up from his chair. Yamaken walks towards me, placing a comforting hand on my head.

"You mean your home," I mutter back, as I take his hand off of my head. He holds it by his side, staring at me with charred eyes. I immediately take back my words and apologize to my over ruling brother.

But then I'm suddenly remembered that Seirin's game is tomorrow.

"W-Wait. Seirin's-"

"Against Touou? You don't need to see it. They will be crushed and that will be the end of it. I do not plan on wasting my time watching a bunch of children play ball," he insights, as he begins to make way for the door.

He gives me one last look, full of warning before he quietly escapes the once again dark, lonesome room.

I'd find a way to get the game in time. Even if Yamaken was standing in my way.

Waking up the next morning, I'm shocked to realize that I woke up at 12 PM. Seirin vs. Touou was almost over! Checking my phone, I had received no texts. And that worried me. A nurse comes to my room telling me that I was getting discharged. She orders me to change and in the process carefully tells me my restrictions and dates when I had to come back in for a check-up. She dismisses me saying that I had a boy waiting for me outside.

Bursting out of my confinement and into the hall, I suddenly stop myself. Yamaken was waiting for me outside. If he saw me, there'd be no way he'd let me go to the game. Unless, unless I managed to find a way out from the back! Stopping a nearby nurse, I ask kindly where the back exit was. Pointing me in the right direction, I run down the hall and down a few flight of stairs. It's not after a few minutes until I find the twin doors, labelled "exit" above them. Ramming my body into, which I now know wasn't a good idea, I find myself stumbling to catch my balance.

Immediately someone catches me, their grasp hard and forceful. My eyes go wide with fear as I recognize the long, white hair pooling around me.

"You're tricks are old, Yukari. If only you would grow up," muses Yamaken, as he begins to tow me away from the hospital.

"L-Let go! I need to-"

"Your precious little group of boys lost. An embarrassing one at it. To think they could have stopped him. Let's be honest, if it was just him verses your whole team they'd still face defeat by his hands," he mutters, as a grin overcomes his thin lips.

"What do you mean by him?" I ask quietly, as I already know the answer. It was him alright.

"That number 5 player of Touou. The one with the noticeably dark skin. He's the type of man all players should take note of. He plays to win and plays with only himself."

I remain quiet, as Yamaken continues to drag me along. I had immense faith in my team, no matter what the odds may be. I wasn't upset that they lost to Aomine-kun, I was happy that they had the strength to face him. To fight and try. It was more than I could have ever wanted. But as Yamaken continues to lead the way to a black sedan in front, I begin to tell him that I needed to at least say goodbye.

"Our flight departure is in less than an hour. You're lucky I let you sleep that long. God knows how much of a nuisance you are when you don't get any," he retorts back, his voice almost mocking. Giving him an angered look, I begin to squirm out of his reach.

"Let me go! If I leave like this, everyone will get the wrong idea!" I yell desperately, as I begin to feebly hit his arm. Turning to me, I see that look of fire form in his dark irises.

"Just why the hell are you being so-"

"Because I'm afraid I won't come back!" I scream, as I ignore the tears that were sliding down my face. It was true. Miami had everything I wanted. The people, the life, the basketball. The few times I visited I found myself fitting right in. But I was constantly afraid that I may never want to leave. Japan was nothing like the American city. I was afraid to leave Seirin and all the people I loved because I knew I wouldn't find myself to leave.

Yamaken remains quiet, his grip still tight around my wrist.

"Don't worry, child. I do not plan for your residency with me to be permanent. I will send you back to this dump of a life you cherish, whether it be kicking and screaming. Like how it is now."

Looking up at Yamaken, I realize what he meant. Opening the back of the door, I begin to kick and scream like he had said. All I wanted was a goodbye. Time to explain myself. That was all. But instead, I sit in the back seat of a car that reeks of leather and fine wines. All I wanted was myself and the life that went along with it. But I wouldn't be seeing it for 2 months.