20th June

The day grew hotter as it went on, and I found myself disposed to open a skylight in Albus' office that looked as if it would but lift me up into the heavens themselves. He was gone for the night, and had left me as custodian of the room, with Severus organising his potions in the dungeon in case of an emergency I was to notify him.

It was an evening of solitude, after arguing mercilessly with the Hat over the merits of Sorting I was left to my own devices. I cleaned, polished and did trial runs on all of the spindly silver instruments.

I worried for him, of course- one always does with those whom we love. I knew he had done far greater missions than those of tonight- and come back scot-free. But tonight- something nags at me; and I would be foolish to shut it out.

It comes before I can warrant it. With a gasp, I collapse and lights pop in front of my eyes, as I am faced with the greatest agony that I have ever known. I must admit, the Cruciatus Curse seems much less impressive when faced with this torment. If Bellatrix Lestrange felt this, she would know what pain is.

My hand. It is as if I can feel it dying, its strength leaving me. Any moment I would not be surprised to see it crumble into dust before my eyes, wither away. Upon sight, it looks fine. My pale, rough hands, thin and scabby and scarred. My bony fingers and brittle nails.

But inside, my nerves are on fire, tearing my flesh and boiling my blood. I cannot describe what is consuming it, devouring it, I do not know.

The relief when it subsides is so bittersweet I could cry, weep and hiccup at the same time. In fact I do. It is gone, but it will be back. But will it strike me? Release an evil wind and you cannot call it back. Like an arrow, a curse can overshoot its target and harm another.

"Marion."

The voice is like wind blowing a weak tornado of autumn leaves, and just as the leaves flutter and settle still, so can I hear the life ebbing away.

I roll over, and Dumbledore is there. Almost unconscious, white as his beard (and his beard is very white). He is shaking, and almost half of what he was.

"By Merlin, you're dying!"

"Nice to see you too Marion." He sighs. "Fetch Severus, will you?"

Severus- what? I'm confused. The river through which I see has been obscured by a fog that no light can penetrate. I can't think.

"NOW!"

The sharpness of the tone sends me scrambling and scuttling wand in hand. Only in hindsight do I recall- Albus had never shouted at me before. Not like that, anyway.

The next hour passes in a haze of confusion, for all of us.

"If you had sent for me earlier, I might have been able to gain you more time!"

Or more to the point, if Marion was not weak and stupid she would have fetched you sooner.

At this moment of my guardian's greatest danger, and I find I am rooted to the spot. I am useless, and it is left to Severus to simultaneously pour potion and try to control the curse which is damning Albus.

Albus. My guardian, my guide, my hope- dead within a year.

"I can't believe it," I whisper hoarsely.

"Well you're going to have too," Severus responds simply. "Fetch me more potion."

After a while, the subject of the conversation is driven closer to home.

"I mean, that he intends to have the poor Malfoy boy murder me."

My head stops nodding and lifts up sharply.

"Draco wouldn't dare."

"We shall see who won't dare. That is where you come in, my dear." Albus smiles wanly.

"What have I to do with Draco? I do not care for the boy at all."

"That is irrelevant. This is war. I ask you to put away your distaste for the Malfoy family and address him not through mortal means but as soul to soul, all prejudices and physical grievances aside. You may disagree passionately with his opinions, sneer at his sarcasm, despise his arrogance; but at the end of the day Marion he's a human being, like you and I. Do not let your grievances with him stop you answering his plea for help. We may annoy each other and nag each other but in times of danger, petty things are gone and we see the world as the world and a human as a human. Do not let your head block out your head."

"You have me help him?"

"I want Severus to dissuade Draco from his task; but if that fails I want you to take his place. For once your heritage will be of some use to me. Show him your scars and your sympathy."

"And if he will not listen to the warnings of both?"

"Assist him."

"And betray you?"

"Precisely. Severus must be the one to kill me, Marion. You must make sure this happens. If you have to jump in front of his killing curse, you must make sure that Severus and Severus alone kills me. "

"Befriend him.. . And betray him? And I must tell nobody? Not even my sister?"

"No. "

"Has it ever crossed that vast mind that perhaps my hands are bound? My wings clipped, my course run? I cannot do it! Not such a risk!"

"For goodness' sake, stop telling me what you cannot do and start telling me what you can! There are millions of lives at risk! Do it for them and their Greater Good!"

I freeze as those hated words wash over me.

"You promised me you wouldn't say those two words."

"What is a promise, these days?" snaps Albus.

"So I'm another faceless casualty? Another voiceless statistic?"

He sighs, and grows older by each breath.

"I am in no mood to argue," he says finally and I know that means no arguing for me either. "You will defect, in secret, to Draco. Sabotage, lie and deceive as you always have. And I want no further complaints. Do this, or you will know my displeasure. Serve me, serve Draco and the Minister. But at the end of the day, you will serve yourself as you always have."