17th August
Molly invited me for dinner, and she asked so nicely I couldn't say no. Harry was there too, which was nice as the last time he saw me I was shell-shocked and covered in grime. Now I'm back to my scrawny self, like last time like every time.
All was going smoothly until Fleur Delacour came in, at which point we were all moths to her light. Whereas most were fluttering around her, I froze to the spot. And I know why. Though I can confidently hold my own against any other Order member, I feel inadequate around Fleur, principally as I cannot speak a word of her native language [French]. Not even "hello".
Hoping to find an amiable way of avoiding Fleur, I find a pouffe opposite the one person in the room not paying attention to Fleur- Remus.
"Hallo, Remus." I said merrily.
He did not turn his head to acknowledge me; he knew that I was not either of the two he yearned to see. I got a "hmm" in response, while he continued to stare into the fire like he wished he could make sense of it.
"Seriously, Remus. You look awful. If we all drank from the Fountain of Youth, you would be severely dehydrated. Here- a cake. I made it for you."
I gave it to him, and he regarded me with quizzical fashion.
"You are a strange being," he said at last. "One moment you insult me with cheerfully frank friendliness, the next you console me wholeheartedly with concern. How is anyone ever going to predict you?"
I changed the subject back to him again, as was intended.
"It has not been an easy summer for you. You have lost a friend-"I corrected myself. "Two friends."
He gives a sigh.
"Both are gone from me. One separated by a veil, the other by Hadrian's Wall. Both gone forever. One is with James and Lily; the other will no doubt join them shortly and forget me in the meantime.
It was clear by his countenance that he did not wish to talk further and we both relapsed into silence, both in agony of fear for the ones we love.
19th August
I was summoned to Albus's office for what looked like the first time in a long while; with Harry attending regular private lessons with him it was unlikely to be as confidential.
If Order Marion is a human; and Auror Marion is a shadow of one, then Seer Marion is something entirely not of this world. She is secretive; tempestuous and as changing as the flow of the rivers she looks to. Beautiful? No. Desirable? No. But she is a figure of Fate, and lo and behold heed you not her warnings.
Albus cut to the chase.
"I want to know if we will be successful. I want to know if I will die. You've always been good at predicting death, not I want it to our advantage for a change.
Silently I take my seat in the corner and begin to shuffle and reshuffle the cards, making a cross, circle, square, diamond, heart and slowly eliminating cards as I go, until only 10 cards remain: all choices boiled down I am left with the future.
I create a pyramid out of the ten: a layer of four, a layer of three, two and one: the final event.
Slowly, starting from the bottom I turn the cards over, one by one.
The Moon.
"Deception, doubt and mistrust. From these the seeds of disaster are sown."
The Fool.
"Someone has been led astray, to disastrous consequences."
The Devil.
"A night of evil, of straying down a dark path from which we cannot return."
The Magician
"Their victim- is you."
The Hanged Man
"All is balanced as indecision toys, but it cannot last. The killer has doubts; he does not know what to do."
The Wheel of Fortune
"Lucky is the side that Fortune favours."
Strength
"Another takes his place."
Judgement
"He is faced with a terrible choice, on sight but wisdom wins over cowardice."
The Tower.
"Atop the Lightening Struck Tower, there is..."
I turn over the final card.
"Death."
31st August
We are stationed at Hogwarts without delay, and housed in an annexe, kept out of the way. We have limited hot water, so permitted but five minutes each at the basin every day, and one bath each per week. None of our rooms have windows so all is dark, stuffy and cramped.
We are designed duties with meticulous precision. I am required at scanning goods entering and leaving the castle and the closing of the gates every night. I am also stationed to patrol the seventh floor, convenient as it just so happens to be the floor on which the Room of Requirement is located.
1st September 1996
It was a late night's work, stopping, searching waving around probity probes until arms ached and wrists cried uncle. My eyes got really dry and sore from the cold air and darkness, darkness everywhere. I had just finished scanning Draco Malfoy (is it just me or is that disdainful look ever-present?)
Tonks, her face white with anxiety dragged me by the shoulder until we could not be heard.
"Marion, I'm really scared I haven't seen Harry; and Ron and Hermione came through ages ago they don't know where he is either. The train leaves in less than five minutes and it is vital that Harry gets through. "She says furtively and so quickly I'm surprised her tongue hasn't dropped off.
"What do you need of me?"
"Diversion. I must not be seen, the consequences of desertion are as dire for you as I."
I observe the scene before me and I spot an opportunity, all thoughts of alliance going completely out of my head.
Draco is heaving his heavy trunk off the table and I reach for it just at the same time, as if I'm trying to help him with it. I lean on him as I do it, balancing my weight so that when he nudges me, irritated, I topple over and fall smack on the ground.
With a cry of frustration and prostrate on the floor I snatch the nearest probity probe and whack Draco on the knee with it.
And we're off. Wrestling, slapping, smacking, cursing, kicking, and rolling around on the floor. The idea of getting out wands and actually having a proper duel somehow doesn't enter our minds and we're perfectly happy just to roll around like pigs in swill and beat each other up.
And it just feels completely impersonal. Suddenly I don't want to hurt Draco, I just want to hurt. It's like we have this well of emotion, bubbling up with anger, frustration, impatience and grief and we're just letting it all out on each other because we both have it and we don't have anyone else to let it all out on.
The best diversions are those that are completely unexpected, out of the ordinary and I note with a thrill of unadulterated satisfaction, as Filch pulls me off of Draco, that Tonks is nowhere to be seen.
Having grabbed Draco and me by the scruffs of our necks, he shakes us hard until my head almost collides with Draco's ribcage.
"What are you playing at!" he bellows into our ears. Draco shrugs him off and steps away sulkily. He mouths something I can't tell, but I'm pretty sure it's "filthy Squib."
"You, young man" Filch shouts pointing a shaky finger at Draco. "Act your age. You should know better than to attack a member of staff. As for you, young lady" and he cuffs me round the ear.
"Young lady! Young lady!" Draco says mockingly. "Skeletal lizard, more like." I swear at him and Filch cuffs me again.
"Behave, you two," he says warningly, but with an odd air of cheerfulness. I guess it's been a while since he could manhandle students.
Just after the Sorting Harry sneaks in and Tonks is quietly triumphant. Draco looks angry at the sight of Potter, and as he catches my eye at the side of the Hall he realises the truth.
He realises he's been played. Though come to think of it, he must have known. Perhaps we both knew all along. Come to think of it, he never even hit me very hard.