Author's Note: If your brain is still intact after the last chapter, I'm bringing you another right away to thank you for your awesome feedback! ;) Please feel free to add any further thoughts you have on Chapter 7, they've been endlessly satisfying!

And I know this is an intensely personal question, so feel free to answer anonymously (or send me a note, I won't tell!), but I wondered how many of you haven't had sex before? Just really curious about who the audience is, and how that affects how you read what I write.

Chapter 8 - To Keep You Here

The bus was still rumbling on towards Edinburgh when Jamie awoke, her head still swimming, her mouth tasting like a baby dragon had slept in it. The lights were all on in the back of the bus, but the world outside was still in darkness. It took a moment for the memories to flood back to her, and, while she'd felt this wave of disbelief before - in Tegan's bed in Vancouver - this was a whole new level of bewilderment. She opened her eyes and, turning her head slowly to the left, she saw Tegan, asleep, laying on her back. Sara lay with her head on Tegan's stomach, one arm around her waist. Tegan's jeans lay draped over the corner of the bed where Sara had tossed them. Tegan, Jamie saw, was still naked from the waist down, a sheet loosely pulled over her hips.

Holy fuck. How many times in the last year have I woken up and thought. . . "holy fuck?" Jamie rubbed her eyes with her fingers, opened them again and found that she was not hallucinating: she was in fact in their bed with both of them. Her mind played a slideshow of images for her, of Sara on top of Tegan, kissing her. . . of Sara thrusting Tegan's hand into her pants. . . of Sara pushing Tegan to Jamie . . her brain had lost its fogginess now that the tainted cupcakes had worn off, and with a clear mind, she struggled to believe that she had seen and done those things. She hardly recognized her life.
As quietly as she could, Jamie slid off of the bed, stepping over Tegan's underwear on the floor where they had landed, and gingerly closing the bedroom door, casting one last confirming gaze at Tegan's bare stomach under Sara's messy hair. She crept to her own bunk, climbing into it and tightly closing the curtain.

She slipped into a restless sleep, and when she woke again, it was light outside and she heard voices and movement around the bus, smelled coffee. But she couldn't leave her bunk. She was frozen, her now-sober mind stunned at what had happened, and her mortification overwhelming her. She would stay in her bunk, she decided. She would stay in her bunk for the rest of the tour and then go back to DC and die of embarrassment, alone, in a small dark room. Surrounded by posters of the sisters she had been in bed with.

She lay in her bunk, motionless, still wearing her clothes from the night before. Another image struck her mind and she quickly zipped up her pants: Do you want me to touch you? Tegan had murmured, unzipping them, and all she could do was nod. The memory made her insides squirm all over again.
She could hear them talking, a little, in the kitchen area, but it was just a murmur. She knew that Sara had a cup of coffee in front of her. Tegan might be having pineapple yogurt. Would they be awkward with each other, or with her, or would it be fine for them? Would they talk about it or pretend it had never happened? Then there was movement and Sara's voice came to her, still quiet but loud enough for her to hear.

"Are you going to check on Jamie?" Sara asked, her tone laced with a little nervous laughter. Jamie's stomach clenched, but there was a sliver of relief in hearing it. With how nervous Sara had been just to have Jamie witness her and Tegan kiss, Jamie felt a bit apprehensive about what Sara's reaction to this would be. Perhaps Sara would kill her off. Were there one too many witnesses to the side of Sara that would initiate a threesome with her sister and invite a former fan to join? One too many witnesses to the side of Sara that fans would die to know about. . .

"Yeah. . . you shower first and I'll talk to her," Tegan said, and there were a couple of

quiet minutes and some rummaging around before she heard the shower start. And then Tegan was there.

"Hey. . ." she said, with a light rap on the wall. "Hey Jamie, can I come in?" Tegan's

voice had that same warmth and laughter that she'd heard in Vancouver that first morning. Hey Jamie. . . it said, reminding her, look at me. . .

"Uh, okay. . ." Jamie replied uncertainly, and Tegan pulled aside the curtain a little, up by Jamie's head, and gave her a little smile.

"You okay?" she asked. Jamie clutched her blankets closer to her body and blushed. Predictable, she thought to herself.

"Haha. . . um. . . yeah. . ." she struggled. She wanted to be okay; she wanted to shrug and smile and make a joke about it, but she couldn't think of a thing to say. Tegan's eyes were on her, so warm, smiling.

"Can I come in there with you?" she asked, and Jamie gave her a surprised look.

"Uh. . . sure," Jamie murmured in response, sliding over as Tegan crawled up into her bunk. Tegan stretched out next to her, leaning on one elbow.

"So," Tegan started with a grin. "Those were pretty good cupcakes, eh?" Tegan grinned, but her face reddened a little, nearly to match Jamie's.

"Haha. . . uh. . . baked goods will never be the same," she replied, recalling the pineapple yogurt as Tegan laughed.

"Yeah, exactly," Tegan agreed and, to Jamie's surprise, lay a hand on Jamie's stomach, rubbing it a little. "But, um. . . are you okay? I mean, you're not. . . like. . . you don't feel. . . bad?" Tegan asked, and Jamie shook her head as their eyes met.

"Bad? No. It's. . . um. . . haha, well, it's. . . no. Not bad. I mean, it was. . ."

"Hot?" Tegan suggested, biting her lower lip and raising her eyebrows.

"Well, uh. . . yeah," Jamie agreed, and hoped that was all that needed to be said. Tegan nodded.

"Weird but hot?" Tegan added, questioning. Jamie laughed, a little nervously.

"Yes, weird, hot and. . . um. . . how's Sara?" Jamie asked, and Tegan shrugged very slightly.

"Sara probably won't say anything about it. She's pretty horrified. So I wanted to make sure you were okay." Jamie managed to maintain eye contact with Tegan.

"Yeah. I'm. . . um. . . I'm a little. . . it's weird but I'm okay. What about you?" Tegan's eyes were on hers, and she looked thoughtful for a few seconds and then, instead of a verbal response, she leaned in close and kissed Jamie's lips, softly, with a hand on her cheek. She looked Jamie in the eye for another moment, and then kissed her again. The shower stopped, drawing them up and out of the moment.

"Are you going to come out of your bunk now?" Tegan asked, and Jamie shook her head with a smile.

"Actually I was thinking I might spend the rest of my life in this bunk. . ." she said. Tegan grinned.

"I'll drop off some yogurt from time to time."

"That would be nice, thanks," Jamie said, smiling. Tegan smiled too and crawled back out of her bunk.

"HOW DID YOU LIKE THE BROWNIES!?" The question came almost immediately after the first song in Edinburgh. Jamie felt a moment of disbelief that the person who made the cupcakes was in Glasgow and now Edinburgh, but then she recalled her own relentless following of them from city to city and felt a bit silly.

"The brownies. . . you mean the cupcakes?" Sara responded, handing her acoustic to their guitar tech, Al, and taking her Gretsch back. "Tegan, how would you describe the cupcakes?" she asked wryly.

"Maybe first, we should say that one of Shaun's friends, in Glasgow, made us some cupcakes for our birthday. . ." There were boisterous cheers, as people shouted happy birthday. "Oh, thank you, yeah, Sara and I had a birthday. . . twenty-eight years ago. . ."

"I appreciate all the, all the like, enthusiasm for that, for the fact that we were born," Sara put in wryly. "I mean, it's not such a big accomplishment. Everyone's done it. . ." Jamie laughed as she focused her camera on Sara, leaning back against the barrier. The cheers continued.

"Yeah, it's true. I mean, it's our mom who pushed two human beings out of her vajayjay," Tegan added to increased mirth.

"Very true. You should be hooting and hollering for her, not for us," Sara agreed. "Although, I mean, we were pretty small, so. . ." Tegan looked over at her and laughed.

"Yeah we were small but still, bigger than anything you want coming out of, or going into, your v-hole-" There were intense screams at Tegan's choice of words, and Jamie captured Tegan's quick smirk at her with her borrowed camera.

"True. But why are we talking about vaginas? We're supposed to be talking about cupcakes," Sara reminded Tegan, and by then the laughter and the hoots were starting to get ridiculous. Jamie stifled her own laughter, and shivered a little when Sara gave her a wry look as well.

"Right. Cupcakes. How were the cupcakes. . ." Tegan thought about it. "They were. . . chocolatey? Can we even tell this story? Like-"

"SPACE CAKES!" someone shouted from the crowd, and the girls both laughed.

"Yeah. Okay. Well, I hope there are no police in the audience or like, Shaun's friend is going to get arrested. If shit goes down, the exits are there and there," Sara laughed, pointing to the sides of the club.

"Right. The cupcakes were. . . we didn't realize it until after we'd had like, three of them, but they were. . . special cupcakes," Tegan explained, to much hilarity. "So, Sara had them first and Jamie and I were chatting with her and she started acting so fucking weird, like, we thought she was drunk-" Someone shouted JamieEEEEE! from the crowd, and Tegan looked down at her, smiling. "Yeah and so by then, Jamie and I had both eaten a bunch of cupcakes so it was too late, but I sniffed the container with the cupcakes in it and was like, oh fuck. . .'

"Yeah, and especially because Jamie, like. . . Jamie didn't like, totally misspend her youth like we did," Sara went on, as Tegan laughed, agreeing.

"Totally. She was like, Jamie's the same age as us so I like to imagine it like, happening at the same time-"

"Like a split screen? Like in the movies?" Sara helped, and Tegan agreed.

"Exactly. Like, one side of the screen we see Jamie, in class, getting a test back from her teacher with like, 'A plus plus plus infinity' on it while on the other side, there's like, me and Sara and Jeremy out behind the gym smoking weed," Tegan said, laughing at the image along with the band, and the crowd, and Jamie at her feet.

"Totally. And then the next scene, there's Jamie, like, on stage making a speech at her graduation while we're like in someone's dark, shitty basement, taking hits from a bong-" The crowd's excitement intensified as Sara took that moment to imitate Cypress Hill.

"We're gonna get hiiiiiigh, soooo hiiiigh," she sang, and Tegan shook her head.

"Jamie, did you make a speech at your graduation?" Sara asked from stage right, and Jamie nodded.

"Sure she did, of course she did," Tegan said. "She's smarter than us. Jamie, did you play sports in school? Were you like, on sports teams and in student government and like. . ." Jamie laughed, blushing, nodding.

"What kind of sport? What did you play?" Tegan asked. "Something gay I hope."

"What? What sport is gay?" Sara asked.

"Well, like. . . field hockey?"

"Field hockey isn't gay. Field hockey is for girls," Sara said.

"What's the difference?"

"Soccer is gay," Sara went on, and Tegan looked incredulous.

"What? What's gay about soccer?"

"Have you watched women's soccer?" Sara asked, and Tegan looked at Jamie questioningly. Laughing, she mouthed the word soccer and Tegan laughed, her head back.

"Okay so like, on one side of the screen, Jamie like, kicks the, like, no, hits the ball with her head and it goes in the net and she does a forward flip and lands on her feet and all of her teammates jump on top of her-"

"Yeah, and then on the other side of the screen, we're like, at a beach and Tegan tries to jump over a bonfire because she's so wasted and she catches her huge, giant pants on fire." Jamie swept the camera across the band; Johnny is laughing so hard that he's gasping for breath. Shaun smirked, shaking his head and looking over at Ted, who grinned.

"Oh my God. We are not condoning this," Tegan said, back-pedaling. "Like, we didn't know there was weed in them until we'd already eaten them and we weren't trying to, like, fuck up Jamie's straight-edge thing, like-"

"Jamie, are you mad? Are you, like, mad, like do you you hate us because we took your brain's virginity?" Sara asked, with a grin cheeky enough to be Tegan's, except that it was partly covered by her hand, as she bit at her thumb nail. Jamie grinned, shook her head.

"No, it's worse than that. It was totally like, non-consensual so like, we raped her brain," Tegan said.

"Too far. Too far."

"No, it's okay. She's not mad. She's happy. It was a bonding experience," Tegan said, and Jamie felt a quiver in her belly at the memory of the bonding that had gone on the night before.

"Jamie, do you feel closer to us now?" Sara asked, and Jamie's disbelief over being asked that by Sara almost derailed her. She laughed, trying to keep her camera steady as she nodded.

"See? It's all fine. We're all friends. It's an experience," Tegan said.

"Totally. So this next one's for Jamie?"

"Yep. And our friend the baker," Tegan said, and Sara laughed.

"Totally. Happy birthday, by the way," Sara said to Tegan, and Jamie felt another shiver in her guts as she remembered hearing those words the night before. Tegan shook her head, laughed.

"Yeah, you too. Okay. Let's go back to the music part of the show."

"Good idea."

"Jamie, this one's for you."
"And the baker."