I finally forced myself off the floor to shower and change out of the bloody clothes I'd been wearing. I sat down on the edge of my bed, head in my hands. What was I supposed to do now? Any friendly terms Dimitri and I had come to are over now. I sighed, not knowing what to do. I wished like hell I could go back and change that, because I would. I don't know what willed me to do what I did. I didn't feel anything for him… did I? I sighed. It was obvious there was something there, or I wouldn't have kissed him. I threw my hair up, and decided that I was tired of sitting here wallowing. I went downstairs to the guest rooms, and knocked on Adrian's door. When he opened it, he smirked.

"Well, what a lovely surprise." He said. He smelled like Vodka. Which is exactly why I was here.

"I think I'll take you up on that drink."

"In that case, come on in." He said, opening the door wider. I stepped inside and sat down on the couch as he walked over to a table filled with nothing but bottles of what looked like expensive vodka, and scotch. He brought me over a glass and handed it to me.

"What changed your mind?" He asked. I couldn't really tell him what happened. I shrugged.

"I'm just stressed and couldn't sleep." He nodded.

"I could see that in your aura earlier."

"What about now?" I asked, looking around me. He smiled.

"Can't see it now." He informed me, taking another swig from his glass.

"Really? Why?" I asked.

"I've been drinking, hoping it'd shut it off for a little while. It's kind of depressing seeing what other people feel. I like to shut it off every once and awhile." He said, swirling his glass around. "Alcohol numbs spirits affects. If Lissa wants help, she'll have to start-." I cut him off.

"Becoming an alcoholic? That's not going to happen. Lissa won't even drink at parties." I told him. He shrugged.

"Well, I guess she's screwed."

"The medicine they're putting her on will help, hopefully." I said. He shook his head.

"She'll hate it. I did."

"You were on the medicine too?" I asked. He nodded.

"For like a week. Feeling that vulnerable, that human. Having all that magic, not being able to use it… that'll drive her insane before the darkness." He informed me.

"We have no other options anymore." I said, downing the rest of what was in my glass. He took it from me, and poured me another.

"When she's on the medicine, she'll be looking for any other options. I promise, she'll hate it."

"Lissa's not as needy as you." I muttered, smirking. I watched as his eyes ran up and down my body, before he shrugged.

"I guess I am kind of needy." He said, turning away and pouring himself another drink as well. I rolled my eyes at the advance. After about an hour of drinking with Adrian, I was drunk. Like, so drunk that I had trouble walking. I was at the point now, that I was stumble/pacing ranting on about all of the craziness with Lissa and how I was so tired of it all and I just wanted to be happy. He just nodded and agreed with everything I said. I finally stumbled back over to the couch where he was sitting and fell down on it beside him. He turned to me, and smiled.

"You're absolutely gorgeous, you know." I grinned like an idiot.

"I know." I said, simply. He'd leaned across the couch to speak to me. "You're not so bad yourself." I ran my hands through his tousled hair. This time, I knew what willed me to do what I did. It was pure alcohol. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He reached up, and knotted his hands in my hair as our kisses deepened. I remembered when this was a regular thing for me back at the academy. Just some friendly making-out, never really a big deal. When we parted, Adrian smiled.

"Beautiful and talented… Hmm, good combination." He said. I giggled.

"I should probably go." I told him. He shook his head, and placed a hand over mine.

"Don't leave… please."

"I need to go." I said, smiling. "It's been fun."

"It has." He told me.

"Let's not tell Dimitri about this." I said, meeting his eyes. He nodded.

"You're secrets safe with me." He told me. Too bad bringing up Dimitri brought back all of my earlier worries. I sighed.

"I'll see you later, Adrian." I said, finishing the last of what was in my glass, and walking out. I use the word walking loosely. It was more like stumbling. I stumbled up the stairs, and back to my room. I collapsed on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I had no idea what I was going to do, how I was going to go about moving on from the mistake I'd made earlier. Right now, I really didn't care. The vodka coursing through my veins made everything else obsolete. After a while, I made the mistake of going downstairs. Landon was there, smiling slightly as I excited.

"Hey, Rose." I stumbled into the kitchen.

"Hi." I said, plopping down in the chair across from him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Have you been… drinking?" He asked.

"Noooo." I said, drawing out the word. He raised an eyebrow.

"Is everything okay?"

"Everything is just fuckin' great." I said. Coming downstairs was a bad idea. He gave me a look.

"Do you want me to make you something to eat?" He asked, standing.

"Sureee." I said, smiling. He walked over to the fridge, and pulled out some eggs, scrambling them for me. He set the plate down in front of me, as he went to make me toast.

"Thanks." I said, shoveling the food into my mouth. I ate the toast too. I think he was feeding me bread to try and soak up all the alcohol in my system, which was probably a good idea considering the large quantities of it that I'd had.

"Where'd you get alcohol from?" He finally asked.

"Why, you want some?" I asked. He shook his head, smiling.

"No thanks, I'm just curious." He said.

"A friend." I said, simply. He raised an eyebrow, knowing he was the only friend I had here. I didn't want to give Adrian away and get him kicked out though. He just nodded, knowing I wasn't going to go any further with it. I finally stood up, stumbling a little.

"You should probably go get some rest, Rose." He said.

"You might be right." I mumbled. He smiled.

"I'll help you too your room, come on." He said, taking my arm. I smiled and allowed him to help me to the stairs and up them. When we reached my room, he took me inside and helped me over to my bed. When I looked up, I smiled.

"You've got pretty eyes." I cooed. He smirked.

"You're really drunk. We'll see if you think the same thing once you're sober." He told me. I smiled.

"I will." I sang, as he started towards the door. He laughed.

"Get some sleep, Rose."

"Yes , Landon." I called, as he started out the door, closing it behind him. I laid down, and placed my hands over my eyes. Before I knew it, I was unconscious.

When I woke the next morning, my head was pounding. I was experiencing the worst hangover, ever. I'd woken up before my alarm clock, but didn't catch it before it started blaring in my ear. I slacked it, causing it to fall off the nightstand. I didn't bother picking it up. I got dressed and threw some make-up, on before heading downstairs to get some aspirin. I took three before I walked towards the back door. God, this was going to be god-awful. I know it is. He's going to bring up the kiss and I'm gonna get yelled at, and it's gonna make my head hurt even more, then we're going to practice which is going to make it ten times worse. God, just kill me now. I thought as I opened the door. The moment the door closed behind me, Dimitri looked up from where he sat on the sidewalk. He looked like he was thinking really hard about something, but when he looked up at me, he frowned.

"Woah… You look like-."

"Shit?" I finished. I nodded. "I'm aware. Thanks for the boost of confidence." He met my eyes for a second, causing me to quickly avert my gaze elsewhere. I knew that they got me into last time.

"Are you… Are you hung-over?" He asked, standing up and walking towards me. I took a few safe steps back to keep the distance between us.

"No, what would make you think-." I started. He cut me off with a look. Regardless of everything, I knew I couldn't lie to him. "Alright, maybe I'm a little hung-over."

"A little? The bags under your eyes say different."

"I'll be fine, can we practice please?" I asked. He avoided my question, and asked his own.

"Where'd you get alcohol from?" He asked.

"I had it." I lied.

"You're lying." God damnit. How'd he always know?

"God, okay… Adrian offered me a drink last night, so… I hung out with him."

"I knew better than to let him stay here." He said, shaking his head. He was obviously disappointed. Whether it was in me or in Adrian I wasn't sure. "He's got to go." He said, starting to walk around me. I grabbed his arm. That was a bad move, but I didn't care.

"Don't. He didn't force me to drink with him. He offered once, and I turned him down, but after awhile, I got bored, and wasn't doing very well being alone, so I took him up on the offer. It wasn't his fault. I made that decision. Don't blame him for it." I said.

"I can't have him-." I cut him off.

"It won't happen again. It was a lapse of my better judgment, and at the time," I looked away from him. "I needed it. He was trying to help me. Don't blame him." He looked down at me for a second, before I looked back up at him. I realized my hand was still laid over his perfectly muscular forearm. I quickly removed my hand and stepped back.

"Rose, we-." I cut him off, knowing where this was going.

"Can we practice? Please?" I begged.

"Rose, we have to talk about this." He said. I shook my head.

"No… we don't." I said, firmly. He raised an eyebrow, seeing that the kiss had shaken me up as much as it had him. He sighed.

"You went to Adrian's to drink because of what happened, didn't you?" I looked away.

"No."

"Rosemarie." He said, voice hard. I sighed.

"Yes, alright… I did. You wanna talk about what happened? It was stupid. I was weak, and vulnerable, and needed to feel something other than the pain, and hurt, and fear I was feeling. That's why I did what I did. It was stupid. I'm sorry. It won't happen. It was a moment of weakness." I said. Somehow, as the words fell from my lips, I felt the lie in each one. What I wasn't able to explain was why he kissed me back. That was the mystery to me, but I didn't plan on bringing that up. This was already uncomfortable as hell anyway, and I didn't want to make it worse. I felt like he was looking right through me, seeing the lie behind every word. I wondered if he'd say something, but he didn't. I watched as what looked like a hundred different emotions crossed over his face, before his guardian mask took over.

"You ready to practice?" He asked. I just stood there, staring at him for a second. I didn't know whether to hit my knees and rejoice or whether to bring it up some more.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm glad we got this out of the way. Come on." He said, motioning for me to follow him to the mat. I walked over, and stepped onto it before looking up at him. I watched as he took a deep breath, and looked up at me. "You ready?" He asked.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine." He said, voice hard. I stared at him for a second, and nodded. Finally, I started to wonder if he was upset because of what I'd said about the kiss. I couldn't tell with his face now that he fully had his guardian mask intact. I crouched down, and so did he. We began training, going through different moves and such. He showed me a few things, but I noticed that his tone stayed strictly professional. There was no joking manor like there was normally when we practiced. This was strictly student and mentor, nothing more. There was no sign of even friendship in the exchange between us. When we were done, we were both pouring sweat. We'd been training a little over an hour longer than we normally did, so he finally called it and started to walk away. He got almost out the gate when I called after him. It was the moment he turned around, that I realized I had nothing to really say, so instead, I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

"For what?" He asked. It was then I realized that I wasn't sure what I was apologizing for. I wasn't sure if I was apologizing for the kiss or for the lies I'd told about the kiss. I couldn't deny that I felt something for Dimitri, but there couldn't ever be anything between us. I knew that. Having a crush on a teacher was something high school girls sometimes went through, but I wasn't sure how many mentors actually fell in love with their novices, not saying that I knew he was in love with me or anything, but he wouldn't have kissed back if he felt absolutely nothing for me. I sighed, realizing I had no idea how to answer this question.

"For everything." I admitted. He met my eyes for a second, as I tried to convey everything that I was truly thinking through them. He just nodded once, and gave me one of those half-assed smiles I used to get when I first got here. He turned and continued into the house, glancing behind him once before he walked inside. God, I'd gotten myself into a mess.