I'd barely gotten any sleep, and the sleep I did get wasn't enough. I'd tossed and turned all night. When I slapped my alarm clock and rolled out of bed, I went into the bathroom and stood in front of my mirror. My eyes had dark circles under them, and were bloodshot. I put some drops in my eyes and covered my face with make-up, before getting dressed and starting downstairs. When I reached the bottom, Adrian looked up at me.

"Goodmorning sunshine."

"Yeah." I grumbled as I walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

"Someone's in a good mood this morning." He noted. I sighed.

"Yes, Adrian… I'm just fucking great." I snapped. He put his hands up in surrender.

"Sorry…" He said, backing away. I just sighed.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be snappy." I said. I ran a hand through my hair. "I didn't get much sleep last night." He just nodded. He looked around me, and arched a perfect eyebrow.

"Are you feeling alright?" I gave him a look.

"I'm fine… why?" I asked. He just looked at me for a second, before shrugging.

"Your aura looks a little darker than normal. I don't know, maybe it's just me." He said. I stepped closer to him.

"It's darker… like from Lissa darker?" I asked. He nodded. I quickly slipped into her head, finding her waking up, and starting her daily routine before school. I could feel the block between her and magic. I could tell it was pressing on her, but she was dealing with it. I noticed that the darkness, the constant need for some kind of feeling, some kind of release was gone. I could tell that she felt semi-normal. It was nice, and I could tell that she was enjoying that feeling. I pulled myself out of her head, and focused back on the situation at hand. "She's fine, why would my aura be getting darker?"

"Because the medication blocks all of her magic, and even the darkness. All of that darkness has got to go somewhere, Rose." He told me. I just nodded.

"Perfect. As if I didn't have enough to worry about." I muttered. I sighed, walking towards the back door. When I walked out, Dimitri was staring towards the door, probably wondering where I was. Adrian followed me out, causing Dimitri to stop.

"You're late."

"Sorry, Adrian was just giving me my latest aura update, and I had to check on Lissa." I told him. His face changed slightly.

"How's she doing?" He asked.

"She's doing good. The medicine is keeping her sane. I can tell the difference when I'm in her head now, compared to how dark and gloomy everything was before. She feels incredibly normal. She likes feeling like that, like she's not about to explode." I told him.

"Although you probably can't say the same anymore, huh?" Adrian asked, looking at me incredulously.

"Adrian… I'm fine." I said, not wanting to get into this with Dimitri around. I walked around them starting to walk towards the track and the mat that was laid out. Dimitri grabbed my arm gently, pulling me back around to look at him.

"What's he talking about, Rose?" I shook my head.

"It's nothing, Dimitri. I'm fine, honestly."

"Adrian." Dimitri said, turning to him. Adrian sighed, and shook his head.

"It's not my place to tell, man. I'm sorry." He told them. Dimitri met my eyes for a second, before he looked up at Adrian.

"Can I talk to Rose… alone?" Adrian nodded.

"Sure." He said, before nodding at me once and walking inside. I pulled my arm out of Dimitri's hold and started for the track.

"Rose… don't be like this. I know that you're going through a lot, but you need to tell—."

"I will be fine on my own, Comrade." I assured him.

"What did Adrian say about your aura?" He asked me. I looked away, remaining silent for a second. "Roza…" He murmured softly. I was used to him only calling me that when he felt affectionate towards me, or when he wanted something. Nonetheless, I gave in every time.

"Adrian said that… that my aura is darker than normal."

"And what does that mean exactly?" He asked me. I sighed.

"The medicine Lissa is on blocks whatever darkness is in her. When that darkness has nowhere to go…"

"It goes to you." He finished for me. I just nodded. He reached up and ran a hand through his hair. It was obvious to me now that he was about as worried about this as I was. "What does that mean? That you're slowly going to turn into what Lissa was?"

"I don't know, Dimitri. Being bonded doesn't exactly come with an instruction guide." I said.

"Maybe we can call Lissa, have her taken off the medicine, and then maybe-." I cut him off.

"And have Lissa start cutting herself again? No way." I snapped.

"But if it's causing you too-." I shook my head.

"I would much rather deal with the darkness than have her deal with it. She's not good under that sort of thing, and she made it obvious. I won't take that chance again. If I have to deal with all of this to keep her safe, I'll do it. I won't take the chance on losing her, Dimitri. I'll never be able to forgive myself if I do."

"I get that, but Rose it's not safe for you to have to suffer from it either. Maybe there's some medicine we could try, or maybe is there a way to break the bond?" He said.

"The only way to break the bond is death to one of us, Dimitri."

"That's the only way?" He asked.

"The only one." I told him, nodding. "Knowing that I'm slowly going crazy is going to send me over the edge before the darkness actually will." I whispered, looking away from him.

"I'm not gonna let that happen to you." He told me. I walked into the gate and to the track. I didn't want to talk about this anymore, but I knew Dimitri wasn't ever one to avoid a subject. He followed me to the track. "I'm not."

"There's nothing you can do for me, Dimitri. What's happening is out of any of our hands. There's nothing that can be done. My fates already been sealed. This darkness that comes from Lissa will drive me mad as long as she's on the medicine. She cannot be off the medicine." I said.

"There's got to be another way."

"I'll deal with it, Dimitri. It's all I can do." I told him. I sighed. "Are we gonna practice or what?"

"It's killing you… isn't it?" He asked.

"What?"

"I can see it in your eyes, the fear you're feeling that you're going to end up like Lissa." He said.

"Dimitri, let's practice… please." I begged.

"Rose, you've got to talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about. I'll be fine. Can we practice now? I'm here to learn to kill shit. This isn't a psych ward." I snapped.

"Rose." He started. I pushed him onto the mat, and swung. He ducted under my swing. I threw a kick and he deflected it. I threw a few more random punches. He blocked all of them except one, which he took to the chest, causing him to stumble back. I continued on my fury of swings, not sure where it was all coming from. He blocked most, caught a few, and ducted out and around most. He didn't attempt to take me down, or try to stop me. He let me go, getting it all out of my system. After awhile, he left an opening, and I accidentally caught him in the face. The moment I did, I felt horrible, and all of the fight drained from me. I watched as he reached up, and grabbed his jaw, pain clear on his face.

"I'm sorry." I murmured. The moment the words left my mouth, he looked at me.

"Rose?"

"I don't know what just happened." I whispered. He knew. It was an outburst from the darkness inside me. He walked over and took my face in his hands. He could see my resolve slowly shattering. "I really am going crazy."

"No, you're not." He promised me. I shook my head.

"I need a minute." I walked away from him, walking out front of the estate, taking deep, deliberate breaths. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I was losing it already, and I wasn't even sure why. Lissa hadn't even been on the medicine for a week yet, and her darkness was already beginning to overwhelm me. I heard someone coming around the house, so I started walking down the drive way, and towards the main road.

"Rose?" I heard Dimitri's voice call. I didn't stop walking. I heard him running to catch up with me, but I didn't stop.

"Where are you going?"

"I said I needed a minute. I'm just going to walk…" I said.

"I can't have you out here alone, at night."

"Whatever." I said, continuing to walk. He didn't speak for a long time. I didn't either. I just continued to walk. Dimitri's phone rang a few times, but he didn't answer. He kept pulling it out and hitting the ignore button. "Castille looking for you?"

"Probably." He said, softly.

"Go back… Don't want him freaking out on you for giving into my every whim, and all that." I muttered as I continued walking. He didn't say anything for a few minutes before he stopped, and grabbed my arm, pulling me to a halt.

"Rose, I want you to listen to me, alright… I know that you're going through a lot right now. I know that I can't even begin to understand what you're going through, but I'm going to help you the best I can. I know I'm your mentor, and I'm older than you, and you see me as an adult, another person to tell you right from wrong, and make you follow the rules, but Roza, I'm your friend. I'm here to help, to get you through all of this, and I care about you enough that I'll help you do that no matter what it costs me." He said, the words rushing out of him. I stood there for a second, staring deep into his eyes. It was in moments like this that I realized that Dimitri wasn't someone I was thrust upon to teach me what I needed to know, and move on. He was a part of my life for a reason. I could see how much he genuinely cared for me, and it was nice to felt like I actually had someone there for me. I knew I had Lissa, but that was different. I met his eyes once again, and realized something that scared me more than anything. I was falling in love with him. I didn't know how it was happening, or why, but it was in this moment that I realized I'd never felt this way about a person in my life, and it scared me.

"I wouldn't ask that of you, you know? I'd make it on my own."

"You don't have to be alone in this, Roza." He murmured softly, touching my face.

"I'm better off alone. No one can save me from this, Dimitri."

"I can, and I will, Roza." He murmured softly. His thumb rubbed a small pattern on my cheek. "Do you trust me?" The next words scared me because I actually meant them.

"With everything." I answered simply.

"Then trust me when I say I will get you through this."

"Okay." I murmured. I watched as his eyes traveled down my face to my lips and back up to meet my eyes. I quickly turned away, knowing this would put us right back where we started. "We should probably get back. Castille and the rest of them are probably worried."

"We don't have to go back if you're not ready." He promised me. I reached up and removed his hand from my face, squeezing his gently as I released him.

"I have no choice anymore." I murmured. I turned and walked away, heading back towards the estate. He followed after me, us both walking in silence. When we reached the estate, Castille was outside, dialing something on his cell phone. When he looked up and saw us, his face turned red.

"Where the fuck have you been? You can't just disappear in the middle of the night like that." He scolded us.

"We went for a walk." Dimitri said to him.

"A walk? A walk? I've been sitting here, worried you were both captured by strigoi, and you simply went for a walk? Why the hell didn't you answer your phone, Belikov."

"Rose and I were talking." He told him. Eddie just stood there, seething.

"Talking?"

"Yes, because unlike you… I actually give a shit what my novice is feeling. We went on a walk so she could get some shit out of her system. Now, will you calm down and not give me the third degree. Trust me, if we were captured by strigoi… You would have known. Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got training to do." He said, motioning for me to follow him around the house. Eddie stood there, his mouth gaping open. I smirked as I followed after Dimitri. We practiced for what seemed like ever running off the little sleep I'd gotten. I managed to stay on the mat though, which kept me from getting another concussion. I thought that was pretty good. Adrian came out and helped me train a little bit to. Dimitri showed me some different moves I could use that would be a quicker way to weaken a strigoi. It was hard to focus a lot of the times when he was touching me, but I managed pretty well. I could tell having his hands on my body had the same affect on him though. When we were finally wore out, and decided to call it a day, I started towards the door.

"Rose?" Dimitri called.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"You gonna be okay?" I smiled for a second. I looked down at my feet and back up at him.

"I will be now." I said. I smiled at him, and started for the door.