Chapter Forty Seven
Inside Woodbury, pandemonium seemed to have broken out after the latest battle between groups. Due to this, the wall was less guarded than normal - probably because they wouldn't be expecting an attack so soon after - and Michonne and I were able to climb it and get inside unnoticed.
Numbly, I pointed in the direction of the building that contained the Governor's quarters. Michonne led the way eagerly and I hung back, observing my friend with an overwhelming sickness washing over me. She had lied to Rick and Daryl. While I attempted to understand her need for revenge, I wondered if completely compromising her trust with the group was worth it. I agreed with her - I wanted to make the Governor pay, though my revenge would be more inflicted for what he had done to the group, not what he had done to me personally. Michonne's reasons seemed purely selfish and as we trampled our way towards the apartment building, I wondered again if it was worth risking our own lives, and potentionally others, for her need to avenge her torments.
"This is it." I muttered and we crouched down beside a conventionally open window. Michonne looked through first before clambering inside. I followed quickly and we found ourselves in the downstairs lobby of the apartment building. It was thankfully empty, though I remembered being here last time, the memories of my dead sister haunting me again. I swallowed back the lump in my throat as Michonne turned to me, expectantly.
"Where is it?" She asked, harshly. I studied her for a long moment, suddenly seeing only a stranger standing before me. Her eyes were set with determination, her hands already gripping her katana at the ready.
"The Governor's apartment is up the stairs and the second door on the left." I told her, repeating the same words that Merle had spoken to me last time we were here. Without even waiting for me, Michonne was already up the stairs before I could register her movement. After some hesitation, I followed after her.
When she reached the instructed door, she wasted no time in the act of knocking and just marched right in. As she disappeared from view, I panicked, rushing after her and fearing the worse. Inside the apartment though, Michonne stood alone in the middle of the room, gazing around the place slowly. It looked empty. I wasn't sure whether to be thankful for this or not, though I found myself gazing around the room too and grimaced when my eyes passed over the closed door in the corner. The room that contained all the Governor's trophy heads. The room where my sister was killed. A sickening thought crossed my mind then; had Jessica's head joined those in the tanks?My brain willed to go see, but I quickly stopped myself. I did not want to know the answer to that question.
"No one's home." I murmured, eyeing Michonne as she placed one of the dinning room chairs in the middle of the room, facing the door. "We're going to wait for him?" I asked, voice trembling.
"No." She replied. "I am. You're going to leave." At this, I raised an eyebrow. "I don't want you here to watch this." Slowly, I shook my head, my stomach uneasy.
"Michonne, I don't think this is a good idea." I tried, weakly. Michonne lowered herself onto the seat, her gaze solely on the door. "I know you want revenge, but now isn't the right time. We'll figure something else out. Please-"
"I need to do this, Ruby." She cut in, not even bothering to look at me. "I would have thought you have all people would understand that. Don't you get that I need to make him pay for what he did to me?" I took a step back at her harsh tone, shaking my head.
"I know you do." I breathed. "But not like this. Rick and Daryl - you lied to them. You've put yourself in danger, us all in danger-"
"That's why I want you to leave." She muttered, turning to face me. "I am going to do this, Ruby. And I don't want you here for it. Get out now and go wait by the wall. I'll be done before our hour's up."
"Michonne please-"
"Just go!"
At Michonne's snarl, I stumbled back, unnerved by the glare she was sending me. The woman before me bared no resemblance to my friend and I found myself unable to respond or argue anymore. Instead, I nodded weakly and my feet led me to the door. I glanced back at her, pleading with my gaze for her to give this up. Though the even stare she returned said it all and I slipped out the apartment without another word.
I grimaced as I walked away from the apartment, knowing that when Michonne came out again - if Michonne came out again - things would be different. My mind turned to Rick and Daryl and I remembered how she'd lied to them. When they found out, I wondered how much of Michonne's trust would be lost. I could imagine their angered faces now and I winced at the image. As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I considered turning back to try and convince Michonne again, only the door to the building opened and the sounds of arguing voices reached my ears before I could move.
"-People are scared, Philip!" The voice sounded like Milton and I didn't need to look to know who he was talking to was.
The Governor.
Panic overwhelmed me when I realised that I would be discovered and I quickly reached for the door closest to the bottom of the stairs. When it opened, I breathed a sigh of relief and slipped into the darkened room, which I realised was a storage closet. Keeping the door open a slither, I was able to hear and observe the scene outside. My heart raced at this predicament that I was now in. What the hell were we doing in here? Damn it!
"They want answers." Milton continued. I couldn't see the pair, but footsteps alerted me that they were nearing the stairs and coincidently, my sight line.
"I want every able body armed and ready. Round up the youths, we need back up after this latest stint. Anyone strong enough to hold up a gun is to be recruited." The Governor replied, shortly, his tone trembling with anger.
"You're seriously not intending to launch another attack now?" Milton cried as the pair came into view. The Governor leading the way slightly, Milton trailing behind. The former's face was a picture of fury, while the latter's contained only desperation and fear. "Lets arrange another meeting, try and establish some peace agreements or something. Philip, all this fighting isn't right-" Suddenly, the Governor turned on the shorter man and before Milton could react, he was pinned against the wall, the Governor's hands around his throat.
"You don't get to give me orders." The Governor hissed, darkly. Milton's eyes widened and his face reddened as the Governor applied pressure on his throat. "I want those people annihilated. I want their last moments to be that of fear and desperation. I want my face to be the last thing that Officer Grimes sees after I've made him watch his people die." Milton trembled at his words. "And I won't stop until I get that, you understand?" Milton hesitated. "You understand?!" The Governor screeched, slamming Milton harder against the wall. The man squeaked in fright before nodding furiously. Satisfied, the Governor dropped his hands and backed off. "Good. Now I don't want to ever hear you question my judgement again." As if seeing sense from last time, Milton nodded mutely, and after gazing at the shaking man once more, the Governor walked away and began to head up to his apartment.
From inside the closet, I observed Milton as he attempted to straighten himself out, making no move to follow after his leader. Judging by his shaken up state, he had never witnessed this side of his dear Philip before. I pitied him though suddenly a thought occurred to me. Was this my chance to reach out to Milton?
I certainly couldn't have asked for a better starting point, now the Governor had showed his true light to the man before me. Carefully, I opened the door and stepped out. My actions were so quiet that Milton didn't hear me and still remained leaning back against the wall he had been slammed into, trying to gather himself together again. Swallowing hard, I coughed lightly. Milton's eyes shot up in fear.
"You-" Milton stuttered, eyeing me with wide eyes. "What are you- how did you-?" He shook his head in confusion and I smiled weakly.
"Hello again Milton." I attempted to greet him, though my voice sounded too forced. The man's eyebrows shot up as I recalled his name and he opened and closed his mouth in shock.
"Hello-" A pause. "Ruby?" I nodded in confirmation. "Jessica's sister." The last part was added under his breath as an afterthought and I flinched at my dead sister's name. "How did you get in here?" I pointed to the window.
"Climbed in." I replied, shortly with a shrug. Milton frowned, pushing himself away from the wall and taking a few steps towards me. For a moment, I thought he was going to run and try and alert the others. Instinctively, my hand reached for my gun, an action that didn't go amiss with Milton.
"Are you here to kill me?" He asked, his tone surprisingly even. I shook my head slowly, my throat constricting as I remembered the real reason I was in thatparticular building.
"I came to talk." I told the man. At this Milton raised an eyebrow.
"To talk?" He asked in disbelief. "You sure have picked your moment." He observed thoughtfully and I smiled at the man before glancing between the door and the stairs.
"Are you going to alert the others that I'm here?" I asked, slowly, my hand on my gun readily. Milton eyed the weapon in my hand thoughtfully again for a moment before shaking his head. "Good." I didn't put my gun away, though Milton didn't call me up on it. "I saw what he did to you." I announced, pointing vaguely to upstairs, where the Governor had disappeared to. Milton shuddered slightly, closing his eyes.
"He's under a lot of stress." At this reply, I scoffed.
"So is my leader, but he doesn't go around attacking his own." Save for maybe Merle, I noted in my head, though who didn't want to attack Merle? When Milton didn't reply, I continued. "I tried to tell you what he was like. You no doubt know about the attack he just launched on the prison and I don't doubt for a second that he'll stop there. You heard what he said, Milton, he's out for blood and he doesn't care how many of are hurt in the progress. That includes his own." Milton remained thoughtful for a moment before swallowing hard and bowing his head.
"I'm starting to see that now." He breathed. Triumphantly, I saw a chance of hope in the man before me.
"Do you know that he asked for a trade? Hand me in for peace?" Milton nodded, shamefully. "Do you know what he did to Michonne and I when we were in Woodbury?" Milton stared, horrified, back at me and I knew that he didn't. I grimaced, not wanting to share any details, but hoping that he'd use some initiative of his own to work it out.
"I didn't even know why you were in Woodbury." Milton admitted, quietly. "I knew that Philip had taken some prisoners in; I had heard Martinez and Merle talking about it. When I asked Philip about it, he couldn't give me a straight answer. From what I could gather, you threatened the safety of Woodbury." I shook my head in disbelief.
"He snatched us to act out his revenge for what we did to him a long time ago. He tortured us for the location of our group, he brain-washed my own sister to instigate our kidnapping, Milton." The man studied me for a long moment, his eyes showing his confusion of all these new ideas he was taking in. His gaze wandered briefly up towards the stairs and then he turned back to me. Slowly, Milton stepped towards me.
"The people don't want to attack again." Milton told me under his breath. "They're frightened."
"We all are, Milton." I pointed out before shaking my head. "My people and I aren't the bad guys in all this. We didn't start this fight. We do what we do to keep our people alive. Your Governor is to blame for all this." A pause. "You know, you could end anymore innocent lives to be lost." At this Milton frowned.
"Are you suggesting I assassinatethe Governor." Frowning, I wasn't sure what I was suggesting, though the idea of assassinating the Governor seemed one to be strongly considered now.
"Maybe." I admitted, with a shrug. After a pause, I continued. "The Governor has brainwashed the people of Woodbury, Milton. He's on a destructive path and he's taking everyone in this town down with him." Milton frowned thoughtfully, though didn't deny it. "You could stop it before it's too late, Milton. Join us at the prison, bring others with you." Milton's eyes widened at the suggestion. "You would be welcomed-"
"I don't think so-"
The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs halted the conversation and we both turned as Michonne descended the stairs. Her expression was blank and she stared unemotionally at the wall. Her steps were slow and rigid, though I noted that she limped slightly now. Another sight that caught my attention was her freshly bloodied sword that hung loosely at her side now. Her own blood trickled down the side of her face from a large gash at the top of her head. Some of her clothes were ripped and damp, from blood and something else.
"What have you done?" Milton breathed, unable to comprehend the sight of Michonne before us. Slowly, Michonne raised her gaze and glanced between us. When I met my friend's eyes, they were so hollow and empty that it scared me.
Without another word, Milton had pushed past Michonne on the stairs and was running up them, towards the Governor's apartment. Michonne staggered slightly as the man's shove had sent her off balance and she winced a little, holding her side. I studied her for a moment, shaking my head, fear overwhelming me.
"Ruby, no!" Before Michonne could stop me, I followed Milton up the stairs. Limping footsteps behind me, alerted me that Michonne was following too.
The door to the Governor's apartment was open slightly and I hesitated before going inside. Carefully, I pushed the door open and it did so with a creak. Milton stood with his back to me, looking down at something I couldn't see. Slowly, I made my way inside, closer. My gaze was drawn to the door in the corner, which was now open and illuminated the room in a shivering glow from the fish tanks. I eyed the floor by the open door and noted that there was a large puddle of water and broken glass now. Confused, I carried on closer to Milton, my eyes following the trail of blood that led to whatever Milton was staring at. When I finally came to the man's side, my eyes widened with shock and I blanched back, bile rising to my throat.
The Governor lay unmoving on the floor, in a puddle of what I suspected was his own blood. His shirt was torn and there was long slashes across his chest, blood gaping out of them, and I didn't need to ask what Michonne had used to create them. The bloodied blade was a big enough hint. My eyes were drawn suddenly to his hands, which seemed grotesquely mangled and when I looked hard enough, I noticed that some of his fingers were missing. Eyeing the stumps carefully, they didn't seem to have been removed with the swiftness of a blade and looked to had been torn off even in force. Bitten off maybe? My stomach churned at the possibilities.
The Governor's head was lolled to the side and blood clumped over the area where his ear should have been. Now all that remained were strands of hanging flesh and a large gaping hold. Studying his head, I noticed another mutilation that sickened me greatly. Though his head was on its side, with only one half in view, an object lay close to his head, so close that it even looked to be attached. Upon closer examining, I was horrified to realise that the object was in fact the man's eyeball, ripped from it's socket and attached loosely still, hanging by the place of his bloodied eye socket.
The large bloodied stain that was forming on the Governor's pants drew my attention next but I didn't need to look too hard to know what Michonne had done. She had castrated up, I found my friend's gaze as she stood nearby. Her eyes held something of desperation as she pleaded with me silently. To understand perhaps?Though I knew why she had done it, what she had actually done to him horrified me too much to even consider this.
"Is he dead?" Milton asked, barely above a whisper, breaking the silence. I turned away from the body before us, unable to look at it any longer.
"I don't know." Michonne replied, her voice wavering. Milton nodded once before slowly crouching down beside the body. With a shaking hand, he reached forward and placed a finger on the Governor's neck, to check for a pulse. After a long tense moment, Milton sighed.
"He's still alive." He announced. I wasn't sure what I should have felt at this announcement though started back when Milton's accusing gaze found mine. "You were distracting me, weren't you?" I shook my head frantically.
"No, no! Milton, I assure you that that wasn't my intention!" I tried, hoping that he would believe me. His gaze didn't waver though.
"This doesn't change who and what he is." Michonne began slowly. "He's a sadist. What I did to him is barely enough payment for what he's done to others, believe me." Milton glanced between the pair of us, his expression showing that he was unsure what to believe. I tried to urge him to believe us, to believe me. Finally, Milton turned to the bloodied mess that was his leader and sighed loudly.
"I'm going to call for medical attention. I suggest you leave. Now." He told us both, slowly. His reply, despite his tone, gave me hope. He wasn't going to turn us in as easily as he could have done, he was letting us go. When Milton found my gaze again, I nodded once in thanks, to which he returned with a single one of his own. Michonne led the way out the apartment, though I hesitated at the door before joining her. I turned back to the man and sighed.
"You and whoever else seeks sanitary are welcome at the prison." I urged Milton softly before quickly following Michonne as we left.
As soon as we had both made it successfully out of the window, the commotion began and we had only a short amount of time to get over the wall before we would be spotted. Regardless of her injury, Michonne heaved herself over without any complaints and in silence we rushed towards the point we would be meeting Rick and Daryl, the air between the pair of us heavy with tension now. I couldn't bring myself to look at the woman beside me.
Once we reached the meeting point, neither Rick nor Daryl were there. Bidding to wait for them, I found myself pacing back and forth, trying to rid the horrific images of the Governor's body from my mind, though my stomach only churned more.
"Ruby?" Michonne asked, carefully "Talk to me." I sent the woman a brief glance over my shoulder, not pausing in my pacing.
"I don't have anything to say to you." I breathed, running a frantic hand through my hair.
"I did what I had to do-"
"You mutilated him!" I screeched, rounding on her. Michonne looked visibly startled before she frowned at me.
"He got what he deserved." She muttered. "You know what he did to me. What he did to us-"
"Stop bringing me into this!" I cut in, shaking my head. "You didn't do this as 'payment for what he's done to others'. You did this for yourself! You lied to Rick and Daryl, you manipulated me!"
"I told you what I was going to do!" She countered, glaring.
"You didn't tell me you were going to castrate the damn man and gouge out his fucking eye!" I hissed, stepping close to her.
"I did this for us."
"And you're still standing there, using me as an excuse for what you did. Don't bring me into this."
"I know what he did to you-"
"No you don't!" I shook my head. There was hesitation between us as we merely stared one another down. "We've never talked about what happened in those rooms."
"You know that he raped me." Michonne replied, easily, and I winced at her throw away tone. Her eyes narrowed. "I know that he beat you senseless, over and over again."
"That's hardly anything in comparison to what he did to you-"
"I know Merle tried to kill you." Michonne's words halted me. I frowned in confusion, eyeing the woman carefully. What? "The wall between our rooms were pretty thin, Ruby. I'd have thought you'd have worked out that the level of audibility works both ways." I shook my head, unable to respond. "You're right, you may not have been raped by that disgusting psychopath but I couldn't imagine what having someone that I once cared for - do care for - turn up after so long and try and strangle the life from me."
"It's not the same." I argued, weakly.
"I know what he did to you and Daryl." Michonne admitted and I rounded back on her with a confused glare. "Merle told me."
"Why are we talking about this?" I asked, quietly.
"Because I'm trying to explain to you why I did what I did." She breathed, suddenly looking very vulnerable. "No, I may not have done this for the others, you're right. But I didn't just do this for me." I wasn't sure whether this comment was reassuring or not. Recalling the images of the mutilated man, I felt sick knowing that I somehow had a hand in that.
"You lied to Rick and Daryl." I muttered, running a hand through my hair. "You're supposed to be part of the group and you betrayed their trust." Michonne nodded slowly.
"I know, but that's the price I have to pay." She sighed, shrugging, before eyeing me sadly. "Please don't look at me like that, Ruby. I'm prepared for those looks from the others when they find out, but I can't stand seeing that look from you." Unsure as to what look she was meaning, I couldn't ask what she was talking about as suddenly two figures were approaching us at a quick speed. We both readied our weapons but when they got closer, their familiar outlines eased our tension. When they reached us though, Rick's face of fury made me start back.
"What the hell have you done?" He hissed, eyeing us both. "What the hell is happening?" He gestured back in the direction of the town which had been rendered into another state of chaos after Michonne's stunt. I glanced towards the woman, deciding immediately that she would be the one to explain this to Rick. Meeting Daryl's gaze, I immediately bowed my head in shame as Michonne sighed.
"Let's discuss this when we're at a better distance from this place." She urged, her tone tired.
I noted Rick's eyes glanced down at her injuries before he met her gaze with another scowl. Without any more questions, the leader turned and marched away, urging the rest of us to follow. Michonne hesitated, turning to me expectantly though I looked away, unable to meet her gaze. With a sad sigh, she brushed past me and followed Rick in solitude. Daryl lingered beside me, eyeing the other woman before glancing down at me with a frown.
"Ya alright?" He asked, quietly. I nodded numbly, unable to find my voice. With a sigh, Daryl took hold of my arm and urged me along as we followed after the others, away from Woodbury.
"Start explaining. Now." Rick urged, when we reached the car again. Night had already been upon us for some time, though now it put me on edge. Daryl turned away from the discussion to keep an eye out for approaching walkers, now that we were vulnerable in the dark. Rick only had eyes for Michonne.
"I went to see the Governor." Michonne told him, slowly. At her confession, Rick's eyes widened and Daryl glanced over his shoulder with a frown.
"You did-" Rick shook his head slowly, his face horrified. "I gave you a directorder to stay out of Woodbury. Did I not make myself damn clear?!"
"You did, but it was something I had to do." Michonne replied, evenly, not missing a beat. Rick eyed her incredulously.
"What did you do?" He asked, quietly. At this, I couldn't help but grimace and run a hand through my hair, the action not going unnoticed by Rick and Daryl. "You went with her?" He asked, his glare directed at me now. I opened my mouth to speak, though Michonne answered for me.
"I twisted her arm." She muttered. "She is not to blame for this, it's all me. Yes, she came into Woodbury with me. Though everything that happened, was my fault." I didn't know whether to be assured at Michonne defending me and instead remained silent. "We should be heading back to the prison."
"Not until I know what you've done." Rick hissed. Michonne hesitated and instead of answering held up her sword, which still glistened with blood. Rick eyed it carefully before running a shaking hand over his face.
"Is he dead?" Daryl asked, his tone emotionless.
"No he isn't." Michonne replied, shaking her head. "He'll be back." At this, Rick scoffed and glared at the woman.
"With a vengeance too." He sneered. Michonne shook her head once.
"It doesn't matter what I've done, it doesn't effect the group. He would have still come back." She argued. Rick shook his head.
"It does matter. You have no idea what you've done now." Rick hissed, opening the car door. "Get in." With that, the defiant leader got into the drivers seat, slamming the door shut as he did. It was clear that Rick was beyond fuming.
"You've gone 'nd done it now." Daryl muttered with a sigh before making his way around into the passenger seat. We climbed into the car in silence before Rick pulled away and accelerated towards the prison at a quickened pace.
We arrived back at the prison with dusky skies. Not a single word had been spoken since we had got into the vehicle and I eyed Rick carefully from the back, taking in his tense expression and how his hands clenched the wheel, unimaginably tight. Michonne beside me, stared down at the bloodied katana in her lap, not raising her gaze once. Eyeing her carefully, I noted her lips moving and wondered briefly what she was doing. "Ol' Micky's gone crazy." Merle's echoing voice blared then and I swallowed hard, looking away from the woman beside me.
Glenn was on hand to move the bus from its obstruction at the main gates. Rick ploughed past, approaching the yard gates as Maggie and Tyreese were opening them. He swung the car around, slamming the brakes on with such immense force that jolted us within. Meeting Daryl's gaze briefly, the hunter raised an eyebrow at our leader's actions before the four of us climbed out the Hyundai as Maggie, Tyreese and Glenn approached us.
"Is everything alright?" Maggie asked, carefully, taking in each one of us in turn. Her eyes lingered on Michonne's bloodied weapon and the injuries the woman was supporting.
"No, it isn't." Rick hissed. "Everyone back to the cell block. Now."
Not even bothering to see if we'd follow, our leader marched away, leaving us behind in fluster. Daryl was the first to make a move, sighing deeply before placing a careful hand on my shoulder, nudging me forward with him. As the six of us followed our leader back to the cell block, when we approached block A, Rick's bellowing voices were heard as he shouted for attention. Once we were inside too, the rest of the group began to herd together, confused as to what was happening.
Tyreese quickly moved back to his sister's side, as if sensing trouble. He urged Michonne along with him, who looked reluctantly to go at first, trying to seek my gaze. When I didn't provide, she ruefully allowed her lover take her by the hand and lead her away. As she did, I noted the woman hiding her limp as she walked and swallowed hard, making note to get Herschel to look her over when Rick had finished.
On the platform above, Herschel helped Lori walk along closer until they were perched above the action. Sophia and Carl followed after them, Judith curled in the former's arms. I noticed the distance between the pair and how extended it seemed. Sophia's pace lagged and she would send worried glances at her friend, as if she was fearful of him. Carl himself stared forward, a determind look on his face, his hand lingering on the gun on his belt.
"Rick, what's happened?" Lori asked, quietly, as our leader paced furiously before us all.
"Why don't ya ask her?" Daryl muttered, nodding to Michonne, who sent him a glare in return.
"She looks like she's injured, Rick." Herschel pointed out carefully. Michonne grimaced at the attention she had gathered and she backed away slightly from Tyreese and Sasha, as if needing the space. "I should look at her-"
"No!" Rick hissed. "No you will not. She has compromised us all." Michonne glared at the man again.
"I have compromised nothing. He was always going to come back, regardless of what I did." She sneered, meeting the leader's darkened gaze.
"'Nd what exactly 'ave ya done, Micky?" Merle asked, slowly, glancing between the pair with a thoughtful expression. I noticed the older Dixon's gaze trail down to Michonne's weapon and he approached her carefully before taking her wrist in his and raising it up so he could take a better look at the bloodied item. "Ya went to see him, didn't ya?" At her lack of response, the group took that as a confirmation. Rick seethed some more.
"You went against a direct order from me!" He continued as Merle dropped Michonne's arm and back up slightly. "You lied to us and then put one of our own in danger because of your selfish bid for revenge! Do you have any idea what would have happened if he had found Ruby?! The man wanted to trade her, does her life not mean anything to you?!" When the attention drew to me, I grimaced before shaking my head. Michonne glared at the man as his accusations grew.
"Don't you dare accuse me of not caring for her." Michonne grumbled, her tone dark.
"She told me to go." I tried, a weak attempt to defend Michonne.
"Which is a point, actually." Michonne muttered, her narrowed gaze suddenly on me now. "I did tell you to go. Why didn't you?!" I frowned in surprise as she glared at me.
"I tried!" I cried, sending her my own scowl. "But the Governor came back before I could get away! And did you honestly think I'd just leave you behind while you were with him." Her scowl didn't waver and I scoffed. "Though now I wished I had left so I wouldn't have had to see what you've done, what horrible things you're capable of!"
"I told you I didn't want you to see what I was going to do!" Michonne retorted, stepping closer. "But you didn't listen to me-"
"Oh like when you didn't listen to me when I asked to leave? When I told you that it wasn't the right time?" I muttered, bitterly. "You didn't listen to me then because you were too busy figuring out how you were going to mutilate his fucking body!" Michonne moved forward suddenly towards me and in an instant, Daryl had raised his crossbow and aimed it at her head. She halted in her tracks and eyed the man with distaste. The hunter just stared back evenly, apparently unmoved by her glare.
"You think I'd hurt her?" She asked him with a sneer. Daryl narrowed his eyes.
"Drop the damn sword, woman, 'nd step back." He replied, coldly. Michonne scoffed and there was an echoing clattering as she obliged in dropping her sword. Mockingly, she raised her hands and stepped back, her eyes never leaving Daryl's.
"You gonna put yours down too, lover boy?" Michonne muttered evenly, earning herself a glare though Daryl lowered his crossbow slowly even so.
"Ya know what I think?" Merle's voice echoed out, cutting through the tension. "That ya should 'ave killed the asshole when ya had the chance." Rick glared at the man and opened his mouth to speak, though he was cut off.
"Rick, that's enough." Herschel spoke, evenly, his expression was stern. "She needs medical attention and I won't let you hassle her anymore until I've looked her over." Herschel's tone left no room for arguments and Rick glared once at the woman before nodding slowly.
"Fine." He hissed before switching his attention else where. "Is all the gas loaded into the vehicles?"
"We did everything you asked, Rick." Glenn confirmed, nodding. Rick sighed and patted the kid on the back with appreciation.
"Good. I want all the food and water loaded in now, pack most in the RV but share some amongst the other cars too. Just incase." Rick eyed the group carefully. "I also want all the weapons and ammo that we posses gathered together and made note of. We're gonna need to see how much we have to work with. Glenn, you're in charge of loading up the food. Maggie and the kids can help you with that. Tyreese, you're in charge of gathering the weapons. Andrea, Sasha and Daryl can help you with that." With Herschel looking over Michonne, and Lori unfit to help out, I noted with a frown that Rick had left both Merle and myself out of the orders.
"Shall Ruby 'nd I help out with the stock takin', Officer?" Merle asked with a frown, apparently also noticing that we had been left out. Rick shook his head.
"You're both coming out on watch with me." He muttered, his eyes passing over towards Michonne briefly. "I need to discuss something with you both." Merle met my gaze with a frown. "Carl, run into the security room and get us a radio." His son obliged to his order, running back and throwing the radio down to his father's awaiting arms, holding another in his grasp. "I want that radio on hand at all times."
With a confirming nod from his son, Rick turned to Merle and I before gesturing in the direction of the cell block door. He strode past us both, not bothering to look back to see if we were following. Merle glanced back at Michonne, nodding once in acknowledgement before following our leader's strides. The rest of the group watched as we left, the tension around high. I could only manage a brief smile in Daryl's direction before Merle had grasped my arm and tugged to me follow.
We walked back out in silence, both Merle and I confused as to why we had been asked to join our leader outside. Rick didn't talk though until we were all stood in the prison yard, to where he turned to us both with a frown.
"I don't blame you, Ruby, for what happened." Rick muttered with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. I raised an eyebrow before nodding once. Now it made sense why Rick had asked for Merle and myself - he wanted to talk about Michonne.
"With all due respect, Officer, Micky is right 'bout what she said 'bout the Governor." Merle said, folding his arms carefully. "Don't matter what she did to him, he's still comin' for us. We know this already. You know this already." Rick sent him a half-hearted glare.
"She's made things worse." Rick argued though Merle scoffed.
"As if our situation could get any worse." The older Dixon smirked. "We're already in deep shit, Officer, 'nd that ain't got anythin' to do with what Micky did." Rick sighed, walking away from us and running another hand through his tangled hair. Merle and I eyed him silently.
"I don't trust her." Rick muttered finally.
"'Nd ya trust me?" Merle countered, though earned himself a glare.
"Barely." Rick sighed. "Though you haven't actively gone against my orders. And this is the second time she's put Ruby in danger with those people."
"The first time doesn't count." I muttered, narrowing my eyes.
"You got taken-"
"So did she." I pointed out.
"Is this really 'bout ya trust issues with Micky, Officer, or are ya just pissed she didn't follow ya orders like a good soldier?" Merle asked with a sneer. Rick glared darkly at him and Merle held up his arms in an attempt of peace. "Just an observation."
"Keep your observations to yourself next time." Rick hissed.
"Rick, I know she messed up, but she didn't do it with the intent of going against you." I tried, quietly.
"Then why did she do it?" The man cried.
"Revenge." I shrugged with a sigh. "For what he did to her - to us both - in Woodbury." Both men blanched at my words, both aware at the ordeal we had gone through.
"Why are you mad at Micky?" Merle asked, glancing down at me. "If Micky was out for revenge, I would 'ave thought you'd 'ave rallied at the chance too." After sending the older redneck a half-hearted glare, I found myself struggling to answer.
"Because of what she did, not why." I admitted, the images of the Governor's mangled body blaring in my memories. I grimaced. "Neither of you saw what she'd done to him, I just- I don't understand-" I shuddered. "I didn't know what she was capable of." I finished, lamely. Merle studied me for a long moment, frowning thoughtfully.
"Well, we've always known that ol' Micky's got a screw loose, don't we, darlin'?" At this, Merle winked and grinned. "The bastard deserves all she did to him, anyway." I nodded in agreement.
"I know, I just can't-" I trailed off.
"Can't get the images out of ya head?" Merle offered and I nodded. I eyed the silent leader before us, whose expression was conflicted as he glanced between us.
"What is this about, Rick?" I asked, quietly, seeing the leader's inner turmoil. With a sigh, Rick bowed his head.
"We're running out of options." He admitted, tiredly. "The group's torn between leaving or staying. We have so much to lose either way. The odds are staked against us and I-" He paused, frowning. "People are looking to me for answers, to save them all. But how can I when there doesn't seem to be much hope for us anymore?" The silence blared after his confession and Rick slumped in defeat, a hand going to his messy hair again and tugging at it harshly. My stomach plummeted at the sight of the desperate leader though my companion didn't hold this same regard.
"Jesus man! If I knew ya were gonna 'ave a nervous breakdown, I'd 'ave stayed inside." Merle muttered, earning himself a glare from the man. "'Nd Christ, how come all you people do is talk 'bout lost hope 'nd shit? Get yourselves together! Ya ain't dead yet, ain't no point givin' in!" Rick raised an eyebrow at Merle's words.
"Isn't there?" He retorted, though Merle merely scoffed.
"Ya depressin' me, Officer, with ya lack of optimism!" Merle sighed. "If ya let yourself get to the stage of givin' up then ya just lettin' the Governor beat ya."
"So, would you rather us stand and fight against him until he's gunned down every last one of us?" Rick hissed.
"No, I'm sayin' stop bein' such a fuckin' pussy 'nd assumin' that's gonna happen. There's been two fights. He's won one, we've won one. I ain't ever been good at maths, but I reckon that makes us both even. We still got an equal chance at this. Jesus, Officer, man up!"
"Have I ever told you how much I enjoy your delicate approach to things, Merle?" I muttered, sarcastically. "You sure know how to put things lightly." Merle smirked down at me.
"Just sayin' it how it is."
"You honestly think we have a chance at this?" Rick asked, his tone firm, though with an edge of desperation. Merle shrugged.
"Ya asked me that before. My same answer still stands." Merle replied, evenly. Rick eyed the man carefully.
"And where do you stand, Merle?" Rick asked, quietly. "Are you wanting to stay and fight or leave?"
"I want nothing more than to grime that asshole's face into the dirt. But I stand beside my brother. If he stays, I stay. If he goes, so do I." Merle shrugged. Despite being a complete ass, no one could dishonour the man and his loyalty to his brother. I couldn't help but admire the man in that moment after he gave his answer to Rick. "That's where I stand, Officer." Rick nodded at this thoughtfully, when his gaze trailed over mine I smiled slightly.
"You already know my answer." I pointed out, lightly. There was a moment of silence between the three of us. "What are you going to do to Michonne?" My question was hesitant and I felt worry overwhelm me as Rick scowled at the mention of her name.
"Nothing." Rick replied after a pause. "There isn't anything I can do. I'm not going to cast her out or punish her. Not now." I felt relieved at this answer and smiled gratefully at the man.
"Ya remember those strategies we went through, Officer?" Merle began, slowly. Rick raised his gaze to the older Dixon. "We go through those again, work out everyone's positions. Get the group together again, sort through the ones who want to stay 'nd those that don't. Ain't no point forcin' anyone to do anything they don't wanna. We plan our defence down to the last detail. Ya 'ave already started workin' on the escape route by packin' up the supplies. We're halfway there." To my surprise, Rick smiled weakly at the other man, apparently thrilled at Merle's attempt of 'help'. Merle smirked in return before shrugging. "We ain't done yet, Officer. Believe me, we ain't goin' down without a fight!"
After Michonne had been looked over, she had been sent to her cell to rest by Herschel. Once Merle and I returned from our 'discussion' with Rick, Daryl headed out to aid the leader on watch. Those inside the cell block had begun the tasks that Rick had given to them, though had paused to rest. As Merle left to go find Michonne, no doubt to delve details from her as to what she had done to the Governor, I trailed off onto the upper floor and headed to the security room.
Lori was in the room alone, sat up on the couch with Judith in her arms. When I entered, the mother was humming and singing softly to the infant, though stopped at my entrance. She beamed at me before beckoning me to come inside.
"You're looking better." I noted, taking a seat beside the woman. Lori nodded.
"Herschel says I'm getting much stronger." She informed me. "Which is good. It means, I'm less of a burden if it comes down to running." I wanted to tell the woman that she wouldn't be a burden, but the words wouldn't form. Sensing my struggle, Lori smiled at me before offering the peaceful infant out to me. At first, I wanted to reject the invitation, though Lori then muttered; "My arms are hurting." and I took the baby carefully into my arms without another thought.
"She's a lot quieter than I expected she would be." I observed with a murmur. "I've rarely heard her cry. All she ever seems to do is sleep." Lori chuckled bitterly.
"You're lucky." She muttered, laughing. "I think at the moment, Carl is the only one who can truly get her to stop crying. Him and Sophia are so good with her."
At the mention of her son, I couldn't help but remember the secret Michonne and I were keeping from Lori and Rick regarding their eldest child. I shuddered as Carl's cold tone echoed in my head, "I did what I had to do", though remembered Michonne's advise - "keep this between us". Neither parent needed the extra worry so I quickly decided that the secret would continue being a secret, for the time being that was.
"You know, I was in here when Herschel was examining Michonne earlier." Lori began slowly. "She's worried about you." I found myself scoffing.
"What does she need to worry about?" I muttered, eyeing the infant and refusing to meet the pointed gaze that Lori was directing at me.
"Actually I think she's worried about your thoughts regarding her." Lori elaborated. I nodded stiffly with understanding and she paused. "Will you talk to her about it?"
"Probably." I admitted. "I'm conflicted with understanding why she did what she did and the memories of the Governor, what he looked like all-" I grimaced, unconsciously and the infant stirred slightly in my arms at the sudden jolt of movement. "It'll pass though, I know it will. I just need time to get my head around it." At this, I finally glanced up at the woman beside me and she nodded with understanding before smiling.
"You've got me if you ever need to talk about it, Ruby. Just remember that." I smiled gratefully at the woman before I found myself chuckling suddenly. "What's so funny?"
"Can you remember when I first joined the group?" I asked, grinning. "I'm not going to lie, I wasn't your biggest fan and I'm pretty sure you didn't like me very much. Now look at us." My grin evolved into a warm smile, to which Lori returned before she laughed heartedly.
"That's true." She nodded in agreement, her eyes lingering on her daughter. "I'm glad we both saw sense. Your friendship means a lot to me, Ruby."
"As does yours." I admitted, suddenly sheepish. Lori looked amused by my embarrassment before the woman suddenly titled her head thoughtfully. "What?" I asked, suddenly worried.
"Carol would be proud of all you've done for Sophia. I hope you know that." I felt myself overwhelm with emotion and I quickly shifted my gaze away from the woman, back down to her daughter.
"And I hope you know how much of good mother you are too." I muttered. At this, Lori chuckled bitterly.
"Just an awful wife." She countered and I turned back to her, taking in her sad expression.
"I thought we'd snapped you out of that?" I asked, quietly. I hadn't heard her speak like that for some time now. Lori hesitated.
"I keep looking at Judith and wondering-" Lori trailed off and I nodded with understanding.
"Whether she's Rick's or Shane's?" I supplied. "Surely it doesn't matter either way? She's Rick's daughter anyway. He's her father." Lori nodded, her eyes welling up with tears.
"I know," She breathed. "I'm just afraid that she'll grow up and be a constant reminder of what I did. What I did to him. I can't even imagine what it'll do to Rick if she looks like-" She cut herself off, wiping her tears away quickly.
"He loves her, regardless." I pointed out. Lori sniffed loudly before reaching towards her sleeping daughter and running a light finger along her cheek.
"I know he does." Lori nodded slowly before quickly wiping the remaining tears away and beaming brightly at me. "Enough of me moaning though. Let's talk about something else." I raised an eyebrow, though grimaced at the mischievous twinkle in her eye.
"Please don't ask me anything about Daryl." I muttered, narrowing my eyes at the woman. "There are more important things to talk about than that." Lori shrugged.
"It can't always be sadness and gloom, Ruby." Lori pointed out with a grin. "I love having these conversations with you about our young redneck. Reminds me of when I was first dating Rick and all my girlfriends would always hassle me for details."
"Ahh, so you're taking the reversed role now." I observed. "You've become the one doing the hassling as appose to the one who's hassled."
"Yeah, this role is much more fun." Lori replied, brightly, laughing cheerfully and causing me to roll my eyes. "Now are you going to answer me?"
"I don't know what you're asking, so how can I?" I retorted, bitterly, earning myself a feign glare. "Fine." I muttered, turning my gaze to Judith again, to avoid the gleaming woman beside me. "We've- I've kinda-" I began, stuttering. "We've both admitted our erm-" Glancing at Lori, I shuddered at the grin. "Feelings."
"Really?!" Lori asked, raising her eyebrows. "Go on then, how did Daryl tell you? I can't imagine Daryl Dixon being great with words." I laughed humourlessly.
"He didn't exactly tell me. More-" A pause. "Showed me." The moment of silence between us was awkward from my perspective and I avoided eye contact from the woman. As if I was discussing this topic of conversation at times such as they were. At imminent attack over our heads and I was discussing my 'love life'. Things certainly were taking a turn for the weird.
"I don't even know how to respond." Lori admitted, a smile in her voice.
"Then don't?" I suggested. With a sigh, I ruefully added. "I'm not quite sure where we actually stand though. We've not really had a rational discussion about it." At this, Lori laughed, bitterly.
"This new world doesn't really do rational though, does it?" I laughed heartedly in agreement, her statement certainly summed a lot of things up nicely. "Are you going to find time to attempt to have a 'rational discussion' about it?" I scoffed.
"Again, there are more important things to talk about. It's easier just not to talk about it anyway. Save the heartbreak in the end." I countered, bitterly. Meeting Lori's gaze, I was surprised by the sad undertone behind them as she studied me thoughtfully.
"Sometimes the easy option isn't always the right one." For a moment, I wondered whether she was still talking about Daryl and I.
It felt odd taking watch with Andrea. Over recent months, the blonde and myself hadn't spent much time alone together as we had stopped taking watch together now. Instead I took watch usually with Daryl while Andrea did it with Sasha - the pair having formed an somewhat easy flowing friendship over time. It disheartened me that I had drifted apart from the woman and after recounting our time together over our time in the prison, I recalled more memories of feeling bitter towards the woman than I would have liked. Though taking watch with her wasn't nearly as awkward as I would have expected, as we fit back into our easy roles of camaraderie like nothing had changed.
"It's a nice day today." Andrea noted quietly. "It's getting colder though, I think. If I'm marking the days right then we're in winter now." I nodded briefly.
"I hope it snows." I muttered and Andrea smiled at me. "I'm sick of the heat."
"I wonder what the snow would do the walkers." She mused, thoughtfully. "Surely it would slow them down? Make them easier to kill?" I shrugged - I was no walker expert. Though who was? "Guess we'll just have to wait until it does snow." After a pause, the blonde muttered as an afterthought; "If we survive that long." The silence between us grew with tension and I sighed, tiredly.
"I know you want to leave." I stated bluntly. "And Rick's made it clear that whoever wants to leave, can. You're not imprisoned here." I glanced sideways at the woman beside me. "Despite our location." Andrea breathed a chuckled.
"Merle says they've got eyes on us though. That means they'll probably kill us if we tried to leave." Andrea pointed out.
"And Merle has also said that when the fighting starts, then that will provide a big enough distraction for those who want to leave." I countered, softly, eyeing her carefully.
"I-" Andrea paused to frown out across the yard. "I know that I talk of leaving all the time, but I meant it as a group. Not me personally." At this, she turned to meet my gaze. "I don't want to abandon the group, not if people want to stay." At her confession, I raised an eyebrow.
"Even if you want to leave? If you don't want to fight? You'll still stay?" I asked. Andrea nodded.
"I'll stand by Rick and his orders till the end." She admitted with a sheepish smile. "But that doesn't mean I'm not afraid." At this, I allowed myself to chuckle bitterly.
"We're all afraid though." I pointed out. "But we're strong. Like Merle's stated - we won't go down against the Governor without a fight." Andrea grinned, it was one, I noticed, that wasn't quite full. "Though when Michonne and I were in Woodbury-" I grimaced at the memories, but suppressed them quickly. "I spoke to one of the residents-"
"You did what?" Andrea hissed, her wide eyes displaying her shock.
"His name is Milton - he was the 'weedy' guy that came to deliver the Governor's request of a meeting. You remember him?" At this, Andrea nodded slowly. "I spoke to him on the day of the meeting and I thought that I could try and reach out to him." A brief moment of silence.
"Why?" Andrea asked, slowly.
"Because not all of those in Woodbury are evil." I told her with a shrug. "Milton was telling me how scared the people were, after our attack. Like Merle's said, they're not soldiers and they're not trained. There's a lot of elderly and children to be taken into account too - a lot of innocent people." I paused to sigh. "I spoke to Milton, tried to make him see through the Governor's propaganda. I told him that we'd offer sanctuary if he and others wanted it. I think I had made an impression on him. Well, at least I had done. Until Michonne-" I trailed off, not allowing myself to finish the sentence. While the group didn't no details of what Michonne had done, they had gathered more than enough to halt any questions.
"Until she did what she did." Andrea offered, quietly. I nodded in confirmation and we both lapsed into silence again. "Have you told Rick that you offered those people help?" At this, I allowed myself to smile bitterly, glancing at the woman beside me.
"I've not really gotten round to that yet." I admitted with a grin. Andrea chuckled, shaking her head. "There's good people in Woodbury though, Andrea. They don't deserve to die."
"Neither do we." Andrea countered with a sigh. "I suppose the only blood that needs to be shed is the Governor's."
"Yeah, I think Michonne had that nearly covered." I muttered, begrudgingly.
Maggie and Sasha came to relieve us and when we got back to the cell block, Andrea retreated to her cell to rest, biding me goodbye. After spending the few hours one watch with the woman, I couldn't help but feel better. Andrea may be an ass sometimes, but she was still my friend at the end of the day. I made my way back to my own cell, planning to rest for the night, though was startled at the figure that already lay sprawled out on the bottom bunk of the bed.
"Don't you have your own cell to lounge in?" I muttered, folding my arms across my chest and raising an eyebrow at the man on my bed.
"Been waitin' up for ya, princess." Merle smirked, sitting up and leaning back on his hands. I raised an eyebrow. "I certainly gave ya little girl a shock before when she came in 'ere." I narrowed my eyes into a glare as he mentioned Sophia. Merle quickly raised his hands as a sign of peace. "I was on my best behaviour, don't worry! I told her nicely that I was waitin' for ya to finish ya watch. Even asked her how she was, didn't cuss either."
"You better not had done." I muttered, keeping my narrowed gaze on the man. "Where is she anyway?"
"She ran away pretty much after tellin' me she was 'fine'." Merle informed me with a grin. "She's a quiet little thing. I reckon it was this thing that scared her off." Merle held up his bayonet arm to me and I rolled my eyes.
"You're such an ass." I sighed, making a note to apologise to Sophia later for Merle's lack of knowledge when it came to handling children - or people in general as a matter of fact. "Now, what do you want?"
"It's 'bout Micky." Merle announced, hauling himself up. I eyed the man, cautiously, raising an eyebrow for him to elaborate. "After hasslin' the woman for some details, she finally told me 'bout what she did. " He shrugged. "No dick, no eye; it's the least the bastard deserves."
"Thank you for informing me of your opinion on the matter, Merle." I muttered, grimacing, before shaking my head. "And before you ask, yes I am going to go talk to Michonne about it all." Merle smirked.
"Good; I hate to see my girls fightin'." He sniggered, winking. "She's with lover boy at the moment, in his cell, if ya wanna know." I snorted before shaking my head, curious as to the way Merle's tone changed at 'lover boy'.
"I think I'll leave it a little while then. Don't really want to walk into any awkward situation." I muttered. Merle laughed before shrugging.
"Reckon they probably 'ave a little more sense than goin' at it in the cell block. Especially when my baby brother, Chinaman 'nd Officer friendly are plannin' down below, nearby. They were just talkin' last time I checked." Merle informed me, a hint of something I couldn't quite place behind his tone. I opened my mouth to question Merle on it, though he cut me off quickly. "Ya gonna go or what?" His tone seemed to leave no room for discussion and I found myself being shoved - none to gently - out the cell by the man. He smirked and led the way to the stairs.
"You're such an ass." I muttered. Merle sent me a smirk over his shoulder as we descended the stairs.
Once we reached the bottom, Merle ambled away without another word towards the three men gathered around one of the tables - in obvious planning mode. Rick greeted the man with a half-hearted glare when Merle patted the leader heavily on the back, while Daryl offered his brother a welcoming nod. Glenn remained impassive towards the older Dixon, but Merle seemed uncaring about this.
With a sigh, I made my way towards Tyreese's cell. I met Daryl's gaze briefly as I passed and offered the man a sympathetic smile as his brother threw an arm around his shoulders, throwing out a few obnoxious - very Merle - comments as he did. Daryl replied with a half-hearted glare at my amusement before shoving his brother away. I chuckled under my breath before I found myself beside my destination.
Michonne sat crossed legged on the bottom bunk, mid-way through laughing at something Tyreese had said to her, while the man in question sat opposite her on the floor, his back against the wall. It was a surprising sight to see, one so content and happy, and I felt overwhelmed for a moment by the happiness of Michonne's and Tyreese's situation. While previously, I just assumed they were merely a physical thing, the sight before me spoke the contrary and I couldn't help but smiling at this. Though the scene was something so simple, I had rarely - if ever - seen my friend laugh and smile as she was doing currently and yet Tyreese had managed it. Someone had managed to break through the woman's hard exterior. That certainly meant something.
The pair glanced up at me as I stood at the door of the cell and I couldn't help but continue smiling at the pair of them, despite their obvious awkwardness that I had interrupted their 'moment'.
"How are you, Ruby?" Tyreese asked, pleasantly, gaining his composure again and smiling up at me. I noted to myself that out of all the men that could have broken through to Michonne, I was glad it was Tyreese. From what I had known of him was that he was a good man, with a good heart. Something that Michonne certainly needed.
"I'm fine, thank you." I replied, beaming at the man. Tyreese smiled before glancing at Michonne then back to me.
"Is Rick out there planning?" He asked.
"Yes, with Glenn, Merle and Daryl." I informed the man. Tyreese nodded before getting to his feet.
"I think I'll go join them. Give you ladies some privacy." Tyreese offered and I smiled gratefully at the man. He paused, his gaze turning to Michonne. Instinctively, I turned to gaze out the cell, providing the pair whatever privacy I could give. I heard Tyreese murmur something I couldn't quite hear to Michonne before the man made to move past me. "Thank you." Tyreese breathed as he past, holding my gaze meaningfully. I wasn't sure why the man was thanking me, but I assumed he knew that I had come to talk things out with Michonne and was apparently grateful for this. I nodded once in return and took Tyreese's place on the floor as the man made his way towards the men in discussion.
At first we remained in silence. I could feel Michonne's eyes watching me, though I kept my gaze lowered. Outside, the soft murmur of chatter from the men could be heard as they continued their planning. I felt content to be out of the discussion for the time being, after being dragged into many of the meetings. It wasn't as if I had grown tired of the planning, it was just all the constant planning had grew me wary and even more fearful. Being away from it all meant I could clear my head.
"I'm sorry for how I reacted." I breathed, finally. I had decided that trying to make small talk with Michonne would be a waste of time. We hadn't ever done small talk, so there was really no point starting now. Hesitantly, I raised my gaze to meet Michonne. She was watching me carefully, a thoughtful frown on her features. "I understand why you did, I really do."
"You're just repulsed by me." Michonne finished, evenly. At this, I shook my head.
"Repulsed at what you did, not by you." I corrected her. "I know it was the Governor, but seeing a human being like that-" I grimaced at the memories and Michonne breathed a bitter chuckle.
"What I did still doesn't compensate for what he's done to others." Michonne muttered with a sigh. "I've told you, I did what I did for you and I. Though that discounts all he's done to Merle, to Laurent, Jessica, Rick and the group. So many others have suffered by his hands and yes what I did was horrific, but it's no more than he deserves."
"You don't have to explain that to me, Michonne. I've told you; I understand." I replied and Michonne nodded slowly, before suddenly a very vulnerable expression fell on her features.
"I'm not sorry for what I did." She began. "Though I'm sorry for manipulating you into helping me, I'm sorry that you had to see what I did and I'm sorry for lying to Rick and going against his order." She glanced down at now clean katana that lay beside her on the bed.
"You shouldn't be apologising to me for that last part." I pointed out. Michonne nodded, smiling slightly.
"I'll say my bit to the sheriff soon, don't worry." She informed me with a slight smirk. It faded after a moment though and she frowned, thoughtfully. "He's a good man." I raised an eyebrow when she met my gaze. "Rick. I can't help but respect him as a leader. The world need more like him, though I can't help but think that there are far few men like him now." There was a pause of silence between us and I couldn't help but feel shocked at her words.
"Something tells me that was hard for you to say." I noted, raising an eyebrow. Michonne grinned.
"Don't go telling Rick I said that." She muttered and I smirked in response. We lapsed back into silence again and I could sense that Michonne felt more at ease now compared to how she was when I first entered the cell. I still noted a slight stiffness in her demeanor and I couldn't help but feel that the woman was in conflict with saying something, though was struggling to actually say it. "I didn't intend for it to go down like it did."
"Come again?" I frowned, confused at her comment. Michonne sent me a ghost of a smile, one that I noticed was filled with sadness, before she sighed.
"With the Governor." She elaborated. "I didn't intend to do what I did." I raised an eyebrow.
"I thought the plan was to make him suffer." I muttered, my tone cautious. She certainly achieved that goal!
"It was, but I didn't intend to get so-" She paused, her face thoughtful as she racked to find the right word. "Brutal." I remained silent, wondering where she was going, but sensing that it was best to not interrupt her. "But when I saw him, when I spoke to him again, I just couldn't control myself." Her eyes were unfocused and weren't looking at me anymore. I knew she was reliving those memories and I swallowed hard, remaining silent. "All I felt was rage. So much rage. He fought back at first but, when I got the upper hand, I just lost it. Once I had started, I just couldn't stop." She paused, her fists clenching hard. "I just kept remembering what he did to me - to us - and all my bottled emotions just came pouring out. I don't remember a lot of what happened, I just remember the anger. I don't even remember leaving, I just remember watching you run past me towards his apartment and thinking that I couldn't let you see what I'd done." Her eyes focused back on me again and she studied my reaction before a moment before continuing. "Merle's right; I should have killed him. I had the chance to and I thought about it. But I was so lost in my emotions that I lost my opening - I missed out on the chance to end all this. I only realised that when you and Milton were there and I could hardly do it then." Her face fell again and her brow burrowed. "When I saw what I'd done, I felt so disgusted at first. Disgusted at what I was capable of. But then I remembered who he was and what he'd done and I knew he didn't deserve any pity. But then Milton looked at me and I knew what he was thinking; I was a monster. I could handle that from him, from Rick and the others too. But when you looked at me the same way too-" She trailed off, shaking her head.
"You're not a monster." I breathed, feeling utterly ashamed at myself and my actions. How had I let myself react like that? "And I certainly do not think you're one either, you have to believe that." I urged her to believe me and allowed Michonne to study my face silently - reading me for lies - for a moment. After a long, tense, pause Michonne nodded slowly and her face fell in relief.
"Like I said; I can take the others looking at me like that." She continued, quietly. "But not you. And please don't apologise again. I think we've both said enough apologises to one another." I smiled sheepishly as she caught my intended actions and she returned it with an easy smirk.
"If it helps, I don't think any of the others think you're a monster either." I offered, with a shrug when she raised an eyebrow. "Most don't even know what you did - Rick can hardly tell them when he doesn't actuallyknow himself. Most just think you're crazy."
"They think I'm crazy?" Michonne asked, slight amusement on her features. I nodded with a smirk of my own.
"Merle did say you had a screw loose." I admitted, which caused Michonne to snort.
"And why does he think that?" She asked, seemingly genuinely confused.
"Because we're heard you talk to yourself." I spoke, without realising what I had said and who to until it was too late. My smile faded drastically from my face and, to my horror, so did Michonne's. She frowned and her entire body tensed. I mentally cursed myself quickly. "I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"I thought we were done with apologising to each other?" Michonne muttered, cutting me off. Her expression didn't soften and I swallowed hard, regretting my words. The silence between us continued with an unbearable tension. "You've heard me talk to myself?" She finally asked, her voice a mere breath. I swallowed again before nodding slowly, after realising that the truth was probably the best method now.
"Yes." I admitted, reluctantly. "Merle and I have heard you a few times. The first time was back when it was just the three of us and Toby." Michonne burrowed her brow thoughtfully at my answer and I waited anxiously to hear what she'd have to say.
"Do you think I'm crazy?" She asked finally, her voice dangerously quiet. I shook my head quickly.
"We don't mean it." I tried. Despite knowing that Merle was the only one between the pair of us who ever did call Michonne 'crazy', I felt unobliged dropping him right in it with the woman. "We don't think you're crazy."
The silence continued some more and I felt lost for any more words that might defend Merle and I. Michonne remained staring at me thoughtfully, her expression unmoving. Despite feeling uncomfortable under her gaze, I continued to hold it, hoping to relay my apologetic feelings to the woman for what I had said. My stomach felt sick with anxiety as I waited for whatever response I would get.
"I don't talk to myself." She muttered, finally. I stopped myself from raising an eyebrow at her words; Merle and I had heard her. Though Michonne continued suddenly. "I'm talking to my boyfriend." At this, I did raise my eyebrows.
"I don't understand." I frowned, confused. Was she talking about Tyreese? That certainly made no sense - she talked to herself long before she had met Tyreese. Michonne smirked slightly before bowing her head.
"I mean my ex-boyfriend, Mike." She continued. "He's dead." Her confession left me stunned for words again and I couldn't quite get my head around what she was telling me.
"What, so you're a psychic now?" I asked, hesitantly hoping Michonne wouldn't take my attempt of a joke to heart. I was thankful when she smiled back at me.
"No, I'm just crazy." She replied, evenly, with a shrug. "I think it's my body's way of coping with all this death and such."
"I don't know what to say." I admitted.
"I don't expect you to." Michonne chuckled.
"So, do you erm-" I paused, hesitantly. "Do you see things or just hear things?" Michonne grinned at my question and I couldn't help but feel a little concerned at her joyous attitude to this topic which had certainly left me lost for words.
"I'm not that crazy, Ruby." She laughed. "No, I just hear things. Just my boyfriend." I nodded.
"Oh." I supplied. "What does he - erm - what does he say to you?" Michonne paused at this question before shrugging.
"Stuff." She replied. I nodded again.
"Stuff." I repeated, hoping that my tone didn't give away my daze of shock. Judging by Michonne's hearty laugh I had failed at hiding it.
"Can I ask you a favour, Ruby?" Michonne began again and I raised a hesitant eyebrow. "Please don't tell anyone that. If Merle says anything again, then I don't mind you setting him straight, but no one else." She paused and smirked easily. "Not even lover boy." I glared half-heartedly at her new name for Daryl before nodding slowly.
"My lips are sealed."
"And I don't do it anymore either." She added quickly. I raised my eyebrow again. "Not like I did before anyway. Not like what I was on my own and with you and Merle. Things are better now." I smiled slightly.
"Why do you think that is?" Michonne smiled, not saying anything in response. Instead, her eyes turned away and lingered towards the direction of the door and her smile grew fond at the sound of the men's laughter outside. I didn't need her to respond verbally, because I had a pretty good idea as to why myself, just looking at her now. I smiled to myself, glad things were getting better for my friend.
It seemed a morning like any other at first.
The sun had rose, just as it always did, and we that inhabited the dreary, run-down prison rose with it. Breakfast was prepared and chatter was shared amongst the group. Watch shifts were switched around as those who had spent the night out came back in to rest and another pair went out to take their place, after filling their stomachs of food. Plans were discussed again once food had been eaten, some tension filled the air with it too. However it had been weeks since we had returned from that incident in Woodbury and we were still without an attack. Some of the initial fear had subsided and some had even believed that due to Michonne's little stunt, the Governor had been scared away.
We all knew that wouldn't be the case though. We tried to remain hopeful, but didn't lower our defences. Just incase.
Lori's health had improved greatly and the woman could walk about the cell block now without aid. Her wound was still recovering, though her strength had gained rapidly. Baby Judith remained never far out of the mother's reach and both Carl and Sophia lingered nearby, the pair finding much enjoyment playing with infant, almost a substitute to Toby's presence now. Lori's recovery was a good sign for the group - it meant that in the option of running, moving Lori safely wouldn't be a burden.
The prison had been prepped into attack mode again, all our defences up as strong as we could manage. With two guard towers down, we were certainly at more of a disadvantage, but we didn't allow that to dishearten us. We still had another two in full working order. We had the Hyundai, the Chevrolet, the Dixon's motorcycle and the RV all with full tanks of gas and the former three were all ready in the prison's garage. The latter was stocked up with most of the food and the remaining gas that we could siphon out of the prison buses and was parked beside one of the guard towers. Glenn and Andrea had both taken initiative to check the RV's engine, to make sure that it wouldn't cause a problem starting up if the time came - a problem they both feared due to the RV's poor record apparently.
To both Andrea and my surprise, snow began to fall and we weren't sure if this would work in our favour or not. Observing the walkers outside the fences, we noted that their movements were slowed due to the change in weather and the blonde couldn't help but express her delight at this thought - it would mean killing walkers would prove to be a lot easier. Small mercies.
This knowledge however, proved to be no comfort when the radio, that connected those inside the cell block to Andrea and Sasha outside on watch, crackled and hissed loudly one morning as everyone was gathered together down in the lower part of the block. Andrea's panicked voice followed.
"Vehicles are approaching the prison!" She spoke in a rush, her voice quivering. "It's him, Rick, it's the Governor!"
All eyes stared down at the radio in horror and the silence that lingered was filled with the growing fear amongst us. Despite all our preparations, despite all our planning, now that it had finally come, the feeling of being unprepared felt so real now.
"I want you to remain in the tower, Andrea." Rick finally replied into the radio. "Sasha; I need you on the ground - you're better on the attack. Both of you hold on, we're on our way." He turned to his wife, who stood clutching Judith close to her. Lori nodded once, her face struck with horror. "Everyone arm up. Quickly."
The rush of the group was manic, though in no time we had all gathered up our arms and I paused before following the others out, turning to those who remained behind. Rick lingered too, saying his goodbyes to his family. Sophia flung her arms around me, hiding her sobs into my shirt. I held her close, urging myself not to cry too. I had to be strong for her.
"I'll be alright." I breathed, not truly believing my own words. "I'll come back for you, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere." I held Sophia's tear-stained face between my hands before kissing her softly on the head. "Just remember that I love you, alright?" The little girl nodded.
"I love you too, Ruby." She told me through her tears.
"Be good and stay with Lori." I urged her. She nodded and I quickly pulled her in for one last hug. One that I hoped wasn't truly going to be our last.
"Are you sure you don't want Herschel to stay with you?" Rick asked his wife, urgently, after he'd hugged Carl and kissed Judith goodbye. Lori smiled sadly and shook her head.
"You need all the man power you can get. I'll be fine without him." She informed her husband before allowing him to pull her into a tight embrace. "Just come back safely, please." Rick and I observed those that stayed behind one last time before Rick closed the door to the cell block firmly, locking it tightly and passing the keys to Lori through the bars.
"You hide in the armoury if one of them get in here, you hear me?" Rick urged, firmly. "Don't let anyone in that isn't friendly." Lori smiled weakly and nodded.
"Just go, Rick." They shared one last, lingering glance before Rick nodded and turned away from his family. I smiled sadly at Sophia, taking in her heart-broken gaze.
"I can't think of anyone better than to look after my baby girl than you, Ruby." With Carol's words echoing in my head, I turned away from Lori and the children - who remained safe in the cell block - and followed after Rick. Out into the battlefield.
To face the Governor. One last time.
(Author's Note): A quick update for you all AND a longer chapter! I think this one has to be one of my longest actually. It's packed full of a lot too - I hope you guys don't mind that! Thank you to all who have reviewed, you're all amazingly awesome! :)
I'll start off with Michonne and what she did to the Governor. For those who've read the comics, may recognise some of the mutilation that she did. Yes it's pretty grim and hopefully my description was alright? Regarding everyone's reactions to it too, I'm guessing people won't like how the group takes what she did. Yes, the Governor deserved it, but as many people have expressed in their reviews, it was quite a reckless thing to do. Ruby's reaction is mostly disgust for what she saw of the Governor's body - surely it would be hard to look at your friend again after seeing that they're capable of that? Please don't hate on Ruby if you don't agree with how she took it! :) What did you guys think about what Michonne did anyway? Too much? Not enough?
And I'll apologise for ending it how I did. I can imagine people are quite miffed that I've cut it off before the final attack, but I'd like for that to be its own chapter. While I have a plan of how I'm going to tackle it and what's to come, of course, I'd love to know what you guys' predictions are? What do you think will happen in this Team Prison Vs Woodbury showdown? Any deaths - if so, who? I'm curious to know! :)
On a side note too, I have another question for you all; are there any relationships (other than Ruby/Daryl) that you guys are shipping/wanting in this story? I'm just curious to know.
Thanks again for all the response from the previous chapter! I'd appreciate your views on this latest update! Hopefully I'll have an update up soon.