When I woke up the next morning, my head was killing me. I sat up, and rubbed my eyes, taking in my surroundings. It was then I realized that last night hadn't been a dream. I really was at court, with my mother. I had really gotten drunk with Adrian, and I really had made out with Dimitri. The moment the thought ran through my head, my hand instinctively moved to my lips. I sat there for a few seconds, before I heard a knock on my door.
"Come in." I called, not sure if it was such a smart thing to do. I looked up to find Dimitri.
"Did I wake you up?" He asked. I shook my head, and rubbed my eyes.
"No, you didn't. I was up."
"I was going to go to the gym, and work out. I wanted to see if you wanted to come along. Maybe train a little bit?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yeah… Just let me get dressed. You can go, and I'll meet you there." I said.
"You don't have too. I'm giving you the choice." He told me. I knew he could see the hesitance since I was hung-over, and things had gotten a little… heated between us last night.
"No, I want too. I'll be there in a few minutes." I assured him. I nodded.
"Alright." He said, before nodding once and closing my door. I rolled out of bed, not sure what I was getting myself into. I rolled out of bed, and took some aspirin, before changing and heading down to the gym. I hesitated outside the door, before opening it and walking inside. Dimitri looked up at me from the weight bench. I couldn't even imagine how much weight he'd been lifting before I walked in. It looked like over two-hundred pounds. I could only imagine the way his muscle's rippled under his shirt as-. I stopped the thought in its tracks, knowing it'd get me into trouble. Drunk or sober, I couldn't deny the attraction I had to him. He smiled at me.
"How are you feeling?"
"Hung-over." I said, simply. He nodded.
"I wonder why." He said, teasingly. I wondered why he was in such a good mood, but then again, I was pretty sure I knew exactly why. I yawned, and leaned up against the wall. "You didn't have to come down here. You could have slept. I wasn't going to make you train since we're away from the estate."
"No, I've missed enough training as it is. I needed to come down here." I said. He just nodded. "When are we leaving today?"
"Whatever time Adrian gets done with his royal meeting." He said.
"More like royal pain in the ass meeting." I muttered. This got a chuckle out of Dimitri. I smiled as the sound filled the gym. I loved the sound of his laugh, not that I'd ever admit that out loud.
"You have a royal pain in the ass too." He said.
"I know, but she's not here, being a pain in my ass right now, like Adrian is." I said. He smiled, and the frowned as if something he'd thought made him unhappy. I almost asked, but decided against it. I got on the treadmill to get my adrenaline going before I fought with Dimitri. I wasn't planning on going down today. Regardless of my hang-over, I was going to prove myself today, even more so than I did when I took him down the other day. We got the mat read, and stepped onto it.
"You ready for that ass-whoopin' I promised you comrade?"
"We'll see." He said. I laughed. We circled, before I made the first move. He blocked most of my moves. It was easy to see that he was on it today, or maybe it was just I was off of it since my head was still pounding. We went for awhile, neither one of us actually getting anywhere with the other. I knew there was only one way I was going to win this one. I knew it'd never work with a strigoi, but I knew it'd work with Dimitri. He threw a kick and caught me in the side. I winced, and pretended to be seriously hurt. I grabbed my side, and started breathing heavy, acting as if I was dying. "Oh God, Rose… I didn't-." That was my chance. I tackled him to the ground, placing my hands over his chest, before we even hit the mat. He glared up at me when he finally realized what had happened.
"That was cheating, and you know it." He said, his eyes wandering down my face to my lips and back up to my eyes.
"I know, but I knew I wouldn't lose." I said, getting up. He chuckled. I offered him my hand, but before I knew it, I was pulled down and rolled over onto. I growled as I realized what I'd just left myself open for.
"You're an asshole." I muttered. He smirked.
"It's not over till I say it's over." He said. I rolled my eyes, and pushed him off me. We stood up, and took our places before going around again. We threw a lot of hits, and he even took me to the ground, but I managed to get out from under him and back to my feet. At one point, I ended up being on the side facing towards the door, when I saw someone out of the corner of my eye and froze when I saw who it was. Janine. Dimitri halted his attack when he saw me freeze.
"Don't mind me, I'm just observing." She said.
"Yeah, it's time for me to go. I'm going to go see if Adrian's done." I said, walking for the door.
"They're not. I've already been to check." I cussed under my breath. "You're good, Rose."
"I know." I answered simply.
"She's improved immensely since she came to the estate." Dimitri told her. She nodded at him, and her eyes fell back on me.
"Would you mind practicing with me? Just once." She asked.
"I'm leaving." I said.
"Rose, don't-." Dimitri called. "Just once… it's all she's asking of you." He said. I met his gaze for a second. He was pleading with me with his eyes. I didn't want to say no, because I could see he really wanted me to do this. I looked down and back up at him, trying to convey what I was feeling through my eyes, so he'd know.
"I'm sorry… but no. I can't." I said, before walking out. One of them called after me, but I kept walking. I wasn't sure where I was going now that I didn't have Adrian to fall back on, but I kept walking regardless. I knew they'd come looking for me in my room, so that was the last place I was going to go hide. As I walked down the halls, I stumbled across a glass door, leading outside to a deck overlooking the horizon. I walked out, jumping up on the railing, swinging my legs over. I sat there for the longest time, thinking about my mother, about Dimitri, about our two stolen kisses, about the way he looked at me, about the way I felt about him. So many things were coursing through my mind. I didn't know how to separate it all. I finally gave up trying to sort through any of it, and just focused on the sounds around me, the flowing water from the lake, the crickets, the soft wind that would blow. I hadn't heard the door open behind me, but I figured it was only a matter of time till one of them found me.
"You're not going to jump are you?" He asked. I would have landed in the water, and it wouldn't have hurt that bad, but nonetheless, I wasn't going too.
"Only if you'd jump in to save me." I whispered softly, not turning around.
"I would…. Without a doubt." His answer made my heart swell. "Are you alright?" He finally asked. I turned to look at him.
"I'll live. I just… I just need to get out of here… away from her."
"She was hurt when you walked out, although she'd never admit that to you." He said.
"Karma is a bigger bitch than I'll ever be." I whispered, looking down. Why did I suddenly feel guilty? NO! I was not supposed to feel this way about the woman who left me for ten years.
"Roza… you know that-."
"Don't… Just, can we drop it please? We'll be leaving soon, and it won't be a problem anymore." I said, climbing back over the rail. He nodded.
"Are you sure you're going to be able to leave on these terms with your mother?"
"I'll be fine once I get away from here." I whispered.
"Is this really how you want your relationship with your mother to be for the rest of your life? Constant fighting, and hurt? That's not a relationship, Rose."
"I don't want a relationship with her, and she doesn't want one with me. Don't let her feed you that line of shit about how she was working, and didn't have time. Ten years, Dimitri… Ten years she didn't take time to pick up the phone, to take a trip… One trip, would have been all it took to satisfy me, but no… I wasn't even worth that much to her. If I don't mean anything to you, tell me… don't let me sit around dwelling on the fact that you left me for ten damn years. When I got back to the academy, you know what I got? A note… a fucking note. I could have been dead for all she knew." I said. My rant had ended more like a plea than anything else, and before I knew it, angry tears were streaming down my face. He took a few steps forward, as if he were going to hug me, but then stopped, not sure whether it was a good idea or not. "I don't understand how I can mean that little to someone." I guess he gave up, because he finally pulled me into his arms, and held me against his chest.
"I'm sorry, Roza. I'm so sorry." He whispered into my hair. I shook my head.
"She wasn't a part of my life then, because she chose not to be. Now, I don't want to be a part of her life because I choose not to be." I told him. He just nodded and held me. In that moment, it was all I really needed. A few minutes later, the door opened and we both turned to find Adrian. He frowned when he saw the wet marks on my face, and probably the colors of sadness in my aura.
"Is everything alright?" He asked, walking out towards me. I nodded.
"I'm fine… just had a moment."
"Are you sure, your aura-." I cut him off with a fake smile and a nod.
"I'm fine, I promise." I said.
"I'm done, so we can go when you're ready." I turned to Dimitri.
"You're ready now?" He asked. I nodded. He smiled. "I'll arrange the flight. Adrian, will you walk Rose back to her room, please."
"Of course I will." He said. Dimitri then disappeared. Adrian turned to me, and wiped one of the few stray tears off my cheek.
"Are you sure you're alright, Rose?"
"I'm fine. I just have a moment. I'm fine now… I just needed to vent a little." I said. He nodded and offered me his arm as he escorted me back to my room. I grabbed my bags, and carried them to the lobby leading out onto the runway. I sat there in a chair, as I waited for Dimitri to show up with Adrian. When they both showed up, Adrian smiled at me.
"So, Rose… I'm going to be staying here for a few extra days." He said. I just nodded. I automatically assumed that I'd be staying too, but I wasn't going to freak out about it, I mean… how much worse could it get?
"We're not staying though. I've got a court guardian looking out for him till he returns to the estate, which you don't have to do by the way." He said. I could tell Dimitri was kinda of hoping he'd turn down coming back.
"No, I'll be back. I just wanna stay here a few more days. You guys enjoy your flight." He walked over, and pulled me up out of my chair to hug me. He kissed my forehead, and smiled when he pulled away.
"Behave, Little Dhampir." He said.
"Come on, Rose." Dimitri said, motioning to the door. I nodded and picked up my bags, following him onto the plane. When we got on and settled in, I felt emotionally and physically drained. Halfway back to the airport, he turned to me. "You've been quiet."
"I know." I murmured.
"What are you thinking?"
"That I'm on the verge of losing it." I muttered, turning to him and smiling. He chuckled slightly.
"You're going to be fine."
"Will I be?" I asked, turning to him. He nodded.
"I promise." I shook my head.
"Don't… don't say stuff like that. You can't keep that promise, and you know it." I told him. He looked away and back at me.
"But I know you'll make it through this… your strong." He said.
"I thought I was going to hit my mother last night." I told him. Last night, when she grabbed me, I'd been on the verge of losing it. I almost did. If she wouldn't have let me walk away the second time, she would have walked away with a black eye.
"You saw her last night after our run-in?"
"I did. She threatened to have them take Lissa away from me. I tried to walk away and she grabbed me. I almost snapped on her, Dimitri. What would I have done if I'd have hurt her? I told you… I'm not sane. I could snap and hurt anyone. How am I supposed to live like this?" I asked him.
"You have to take it day by day, Rose."
"And I'm supposed to do that forever. Live my life never knowing when I could snap and hurt someone." I told him.
"You'll get through this. You didn't hurt anyone, and that's what counts. You haven't hurt anyone." He said. I shook my head.
"That's not the point." I said, jumping up.
"Rose… don't-." He started. I shook my head.
"I need a minute." I muttered, walking away. He stood up, placing a hand on my arm, not trying to stop me, but giving me the option to keep walking.
"Don't walk away… talk to me." I turned back to meet his dark brown eyes.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, before walking to the back of the plane and taking a seat. He stood there for a couple seconds, before returning to his seat. I curled up in the back, and closed my eyes, hoping we'd be back at the estate when I opened my eyes, and I didn't have to worry about the three hour car ride alone with him.
A/N: I'm glad to see that some of you, well... most of you are catching on. I've gotten a lot of reviews and messages talking about how the roles in this story have switched from the way the were in the book. Dimitri going in for kisses, Rose being the one that's more hesitant on the relationship, and everything. That's exactly where I was trying to go with this, and you're feedback has let me know that I did just that. That makes me extremely happy. Those were my intentions. I love flipping characters personalities, but still making them there own. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. :)