A/N: Some mention of canon events in this chapter. I've altered those events to suit the Muse's whimsy.
"And that's what I've got," Cat finished. She slumped in a chair in the conference room and avoided meeting anyone's eyes. From the second she'd begun her story, she'd felt hunted. Tara kept trying to catch her eye. And Jane… Well, Jane simply glared. While Tara appeared worried, Jane was angry. Very angry from the way she'd been glaring at Cat for the past hour. "The lab cloned my phone. They promised a transcript of anything I managed to record by end of day tomorrow..." She looked at her watch and corrected. "Today."
"I'll start checking the list of names against anyone we've already connected to the Legion," Frost said. He looked exhausted and rumpled, a far cry from his usual starched and perfect appearance. "Alina will probably be our best bet. It's an uncommon name." His gaze flickered to Jane for a second before he continued. "Nice job," he praised Cat.
It wasn't really. Jane's glare had slowly eroded Cat's sense of accomplishment. As she'd relayed the information about the support group and the Legion party, Cat understood what she'd done wrong. She'd lost perspective. Hell, probably her entire mind. Cat had allowed anger or disappointment (she mentally thanked Maura for that phrase) at Tara and Faith, and life in general, to affect her job as a detective. Going to the group session alone...that wasn't too a big deal. Small group, little chance of making a big connection.
Once she'd made the connection, though, Cat knew she should have returned to the station house. She should have informed the team in person. She'd needed backup outside the club. There had been other cops at that party. Cops that could easily have burned her cover. And she should have gone in professionally wired. Her cell phone was an amateur recording device that might not have fully captured everything - and which might cause problems if this case went to trial.
All in all, Cat felt like an idiot. That being said…Mistakes aside, Cat had single-handedly blown a hole in the case. It was time for Jane to stop acting like she wouldn't have done the same thing and give Cat a little praise. "Thanks," she said clearly and loudly in response to Frost's comment. "Where do we go from here?" She met Jane's eyes without flinching.
"We need you further inside," Jane answered tightly. "This party was supposed to be the big leagues, but I don't see it. You met Jonathan Stewart, shook a lot of important hands; you didn't really see anything else. How can that group be the elite recruits? What did Marie tell you?" Flipping through her notes of Cat's statement, Jane read, "'...have to attend at least three other group sessions.' Why? What the Hell does this group really do?"
"And why the emphasis on the Beacon Hill location?" Korsak sipped from his ever-present coffee cup. In a nod to the late hour, he'd removed his tie and unbuttoned the top of his dress shirt. "It can't only be money. From Cat's descriptions, not all of the elite are wealthy. And who's the backer? We take one step forward in this investigation and it moves us back a mile with more questions."
Everyone took a moment to absorb that thought. "Ain't as bad as you think." Faith held up a hand and ticked off points as she talked. "We know First Legion is behind the murders. Cat's got a way in. Now we know what questions to ask. And me and the old guy made waves at the meet and greet."
Really? Cat hadn't heard that. She frowned; what had Korsak and Faith learned from the social events?
"OK." Jane leaned forward and started handing out assignments. "Here's what we're going to do. Frost, get the search on names started and then hit the crib for some sleep. Tara can work with her Council connections while you're out." Her raised brow dared him to argue - and he didn't. "Maura's got friends on the Hill. We'll work that angle; see if we can't trace the money behind First Legion. Korsak..." She paused and Cat stifled a sigh. She hadn't made the list of assignments yet. Was Jane going to bench her? "Head to the lab. Get them to push the transcript through. Better yet, get a copy of the recording and bring it back here."
"What about me?" Cat interrupted.
Barely glancing in Cat's direction, Jane responded coldly, "Do a coffee run. If Korsak can't get a copy of the recording, you can give him your phone when you get back."
Definitely benched. Cat bit her lip against an angry retort and stalked out the door. Before she'd crossed the bullpen, Faith trotted up alongside her. "Mind some company? I'm kinda in the way here."
There was more to it. Faith kept looking at Cat out of the corner of her eye, watching her.
"Whatever," she said shortly. The energy buzz from Faith's closeness was growing familiar. Rubbing at her tingling arm, she shoved open the station house door and stepped outside. Cold and clear.
They started down the sidewalk before Faith finally asked her question. "You gonna get your head out of your ass or you waitin' until Jane sends you back to C6?"
It was so outrageous that Cat stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.
Faith stopped, too. Facing Cat, hands stuffed into her pockets, she stated bluntly, "You fucked up yesterday. Leaving before me and Korsak came in. Not wearing a real wire last night. Acting like Jane's a bitch 'cause she put you on coffee duty. You're lucky she didn't send you home."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Cat moved around Faith and resumed walking until Faith grabbed her arm. "Get off me!" She shoved at Faith, twisting in her grasp.
"Knock it off, tiger," Faith ordered.
The command brought Cat up short, her mind and body immediately responding. "Yes, Faith." She stood quietly, waiting for more direction.
Faith's grip shifted, loosening a bit. "Let's find someplace to talk. I'll tell T the coffee shop ran out of beans or some shit." Maintaining a hold on Cat's arm, she steered them down a side street. "There's a park down this way. This time of night, the only people dumb enough to use it are Slayers and vamps."
Cat dragged her feet as much as she dared. Any real defiance had been trumped by Faith's dominant actions.
"Sit down, tiger." Faith pushed Cat onto a snow-covered bench. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Cat snapped. "There. Is. Nothing. Wrong." It was a lie, and it was clear Faith knew that, too. Recoiling from Faith's disappointed stare, Cat dropped her chin to her chest and examined her knees.
"Wanna try that again?" Faith crouched down until she intercepted Cat's gaze.
It was impossible to look away now. Cat felt like a mouse trapped by a mountain lion. This was the Faith she'd always imagined she'd meet – and now she really wanted the other, submissive Faith back. Cat didn't want to admit what she'd done. She pressed her lips together stubbornly.
Faith's lips twitched. "Gonna play hardball, tiger? Figures." With a sigh, she stood and then dropped onto the bench next to Cat. "Let me tell you how you feel right now. You're pissed. Jane's being an ass, not telling you how good you are. You did all the work yesterday, right? Nobody else put their ass on the line going into that club."
How could Faith know that? Cat turned to stare at her. Could she feel all that through the bond?
"Huh. Must be close," Faith murmured. "Here's the deal, tiger. All that shit you're thinking, about how what you did makin' how you did it all right? Stop thinking it. Getting into the Legion doesn't mean you get a pass on the rules."
"You don't have the right to tell me that." Cat should have been crushed by Faith's comment. She should have been on her knees, apologizing. Maybe that would have happened if Faith really had remembered. But there was still no mental voice at the other end of the bond. And Cat couldn't take it anymore. She stood and loomed over Faith. "Who the fuck do you think you are? You've been here three days. Until you showed up, everything was fine!"
Faith let her vent without comment. She simply leaned back on the bench and watched as Cat clenched her fists.
Her lack of action infuriated Cat even more. Her rage spewed out in hard, angry words. "I'm tired of all of you watching me like I'm some freak. Red fucking cuff. I was good enough to work with Tara. Hell, I was the only one who could go with Tara. Nobody else. And when Tara fucks with my head by collaring me, you all want to wrap me in cotton. Maura graciously allowed me to stay on the team without reporting my breakdown to Cavanaugh or the department."
She thought Faith was going to stay silent again until Faith said quietly, "That's what friends do, tiger. Except you think you don't have any friends. Too lost in bein' angry and feeling sorry for yourself."
Cat took a step closer. "You don't…"
Before she could finish the sentence or grab Faith they way she wanted, Faith was standing and right in Cat's face. "I know exactly what you're thinking. How you feel. I've been you, tiger. You're all alone. No family. No friends. You do it all on your own. Always have, always will. You got a chip on your shoulder bigger than the whole fucking city."
The words hit Cat like an avalanche, and Faith wasn't done.
"You know what happens now, tiger? You keep doin' stupid shit like going undercover without backup. You tell the team you're fine and to leave you alone." Faith's voice wasn't loud yet it pounded at Cat. "One day, you're gonna wake up and they'll all be gone 'cause you shoved them away. And that's when it happens. You cross a line. You cross it and you can't go back. You'll be like me, tiger. Standing on a rooftop beating the crap out of someone, hoping that they'll win and end your pain."
"That won't happen to me," Cat protested. But she couldn't shake the fear that Faith was right. She did feel completely alone. More than she ever had.
"Yeah, it will, tiger. You may feel alone now. But when you cross that line, you really will bealone." Faith laid her hand softly on Cat's cheek. "You got to let us help. We're your friends."
Friends. Faith had no idea… Focusing on the warmth of Faith's hand and of her friendship, Cat asked, "Is that what you did? Finally let people help you?" She couldn't imagine Faith as angry and alone, as in pain, as she was right now.
"No," Faith said sadly. "I was too far gone. One of those friends was the person I was tryin' to kill the day my life changed."
"What happened?" Cat watched Faith, watched as her expression lightened and her lips tilted in the softest smile.
The answer shouldn't have been a surprise. "Tara. Me and B are knocking each other senseless all over the roof. She's winning, like always. And I got pissed. Went crazy. Managed to get her on the ground. I'm standing there with my favorite dagger, thinking about movin' in for the kill…" Faith closed her eyes, and her voice trailed off. Cat wanted to hit her. How could she stop right there? Luckily, Faith soon resumed the story. "Then this voice comes out of nowhere. I'm talking Uber Domme. 'Don't even think about using that knife,' like I'm some little kid about to color on the wall."
Of course, that had to be when the life bond happened. Cat's breath caught in a sob, and she struggled to disguise it as a cough. "Worse than when she got mad at me for going to the club?" she teased in a scratchy voice.
"Not even on the same planet, tiger. B's eyes about popped out of her head when I chucked the knife on the ground and hit my knees." Faith grinned, dimples popping out. "Ain't let me live it down since."
They stood there, with Faith lost in memories. "We should probably get that coffee before Jane sends out a search party," Cat said. She needed something to do, something to give her distance and time to absorb Faith's advice and the glimpse into her past.
"Yeah…Yeah." Faith shook her head, the dazed expression clearing. "Man, I ain't thought about that night in a long time. Never told anyone about it."
Cat led the way back to the main street. "I'm sorry you had to dredge it all up because of me." She'd always wanted to know about Faith and her past. Now that she'd heard some of it, Cat hated that she'd inadvertently hurt Faith in the process.
With a playful shove, Faith said, "Don't worry about it, tiger. No way was I lettin' you hit bottom like me. I haven't been that Faith since T showed up. You should have seen her. She wasn't so scary back then. More shy girl than confident Domme. She grew up because I needed her to." Her voice grew wry. "Damn near wore her arm out that first year. I fought her every step of the way."
"Why? Did you resent being her submissive?" The words were out before Cat could rein them in. She didn't try to retract them, though. The gleam of Faith's collar in the streetlights demanded an answer.
"What? Because I'm a Slayer?" Faith took Cat's nod at face value. "Just because I'm a lean, mean, evil-killing machine don't mean I need to flag on the left. I was out of control. Tara had to pull me back, make me follow the rules. Not something I'm good at. Slayers aren't all Dominants. We kinda fall wherever. B…Buffy, the friend from the roof, she's the best Slayer ever. No one can touch her. She's a Domme. Just as many of us wear collars, though, with a few switches thrown in." She shrugged. "Slaying's dangerous, tiger. Two, three, four people… However big the relationship needs to keep us from burning out."
Alina's advice came back to Cat. Tell your Domme. This was as close to the perfect moment as Cat might get.
Cat wasn't quite ready for that step. Instead, she approached the issue cautiously, from the side. "Ever thought about switching? You kind of have that arrogant 'you'll do what I say' thing." It was hard to sound like she was teasing when Cat was nearly lightheaded from holding her breath as she added, "You've bossed me around and threatened to kick my ass if I disobey your commands."