It took me all of about seven second to recuperate, but by this time, Adrian was already trying to help me to my feet. I pushed myself away from him, running to where Landon had been thrown. It was there I could see Dimitri and him battling it out. He grabbed Dimitri by the throat and slung him to the ground like he was weightless. He was newly awakened, so he was stronger, making him stronger than Dimitri.
"Landon, stop." I begged, as Adrian tried to pull me away.
"Come on, Rose. We need to get out of here." Adrian begged. I pulled myself out of his grasp, and started back towards them. He caught my wrist, keeping me from moving. I turned and punched him hard in the face, causing him to fall. Regret filled me, but I didn't care. When I turned back, Landon had Dimitri pinned on the ground. Dimitri was fighting hard, but he was losing.
"Landon… please, don't do this." I begged him. I'd already lost Landon. I couldn't bear the thought of losing Dimitri too. I loved him. It was now that I was able to see that. I knew there was only one way I was going to be able to stop this, and I knew I had to act fast. Landon's knee was against Dimitri's throat now, cutting off his air. I wanted to scream, but I had to keep myself composed long enough.
"Landon… stop. I'll go with you." I said. Everything in the world froze. So much was resting on this one moment. When Landon stood and turned to look at me, Dimitri coughed and started breathing normally again.
"You're bluffing." He snarled. He was still in battle mode, attack mode.
"It doesn't have to be like this. You don't have to hurt anyone here. I'm what you want… I'll go with you." I told him.
"Rose, what are you doing-." Adrian said.
"Shut it." I snapped behind me. "I'm sorry that this happened to you, and it's my fault. This is the only way I can think to make up for it." Dimitri's eyes met mine from the ground. He knew what I was staging, what I was trying to get him to do. I had Landon locked on me, not paying attention to anything else. "You're right. We belong together. I'm too strong to be a dhampir. I want to be lethal and deadly too." The smile that lit up his face was one of the most terrifying, but beautiful things I felt like I'd seen in forever. I knew I'd be the last time I'd see him smile.
"I love you, Rose." He said. The words sent shivers down my spine. I stepped closer to him, and touched his face. Last chance, Rose. I told myself. I leaned forward and kissed his lips softly, making him believe me completely. When I met his eyes, I smiled the saddest smile that had probably ever been on my face.
"I love you too, Landon. Always remember that." The moment the rest of the words were out of my mouth, Dimitri drove his stake through Landon's back, connecting immediately. I watched as the life drained from my best friends face. He fell forward and into my arms, as Dimitri yanked his stake out of him. I sank to the ground with him in my arms, sobbing softly into his chest. He was still wearing the same clothes from the night of our date. The red rim around his pupils disappeared along with any form of life on his face. He was gone, really gone this time.
"Roza… I'm sorry-." Dimitri murmured. I shook my head. He had no reason to apologize. I wanted to tell him that, but every time I opened my mouth to speak, all that came out was a sob. I was covered in blood as I held him in my arms. I didn't care. It didn't matter anymore. I would have preferred him to be dead… really dead over being strigoi. I would take death over that fate any day of the week. Regardless, he was still my best friend, and this time… I'd watched him die, held him as the life drained from his body. I didn't know where I was supposed to go from here, what I was supposed to do. I just stroked his hair, and stared down into his lifeless face. Even in death, he was still the same cute faced boy he'd always been. It was then I remembered what I'd read in his journal, what he was planning the night of our date. I was willing to bet he still had the ring on him. I patted his pocket, and felt something inside and reached in to feel something that was shaped like a ring. When I pulled it out, it was very obviously a wedding ring.
"I'll wear it for you." I whispered, before pressing my lips to his forehead. I slid it onto my finger, and looked up to see Dimitri staring down at me. He looked horrible. I could tell he'd taken some pretty hard hits, and it was easy to see he was just now starting to breathe normally. It was then I realized that he was alive, he was still here, and he needed me. I needed to be worried about him. I had to accept that I couldn't change what happened to Landon, but I could change what happened with Dimitri. I forced Landon's dead body off my lap, and stood up.
"Adrian-." I said, wiping my face. I motioned to him, but Dimitri shook his head.
"No… I'm fine, really."
"Dimitri… don't play the tough guy now." I said. Adrian walked over, and started to reach for him, when Dimitri stepped away, and shook his head. "Dimitri, stop… now. This is not-." He cut me off.
"I'm fine. It's just a bruise and some cuts, I'll live." 'He said.
"Dimitri, he had your wind pipe crushed. I think there's a little more damage than what's just on the outside. Let him heal you." He shook his head.
"I will live. You didn't let him heal you." I stepped closer and took his face in my hands.
"Please…do this for me. I can't take losing you too-." I said, softly. "Please…" He stared down at me for a second.
"Fine." He murmured. I smiled a thank you, but said nothing. Adrian laid his hand on Dimitri's forearm and closed his eyes. I saw the jolt in Dimitri's body as he started using his magic on him. Dimitri's eyes were solely on me the entire time. When Adrian pulled away, Dimitri smiled at him.
"Thank you." He murmured. Adrian nodded.
"You're welcome." Adrian said.
"I have to call the alchemist to come take care of this."
"No… we should take him to Valarie, where they can have a real ceremony for him." I said. "I don't want you calling them to sprinkle something on him so he withers away to dust." The words came out harsher than I'd intended. I hadn't realized that tears were still leaking from my eyes.
"Rose, I don't think that's going to be really good for Valerie. She was having a hard time with him being dead. Could you imagine what it would do to her knowing he was strigoi? That her innocent grandson was out doing God knows what?"He asked.
"Dimitri, she has a right to know."
"Think of what it's going to do to you, Rose? You watched him die this time. Magnify what you're feeling right now, times twenty, that's what it would do to her. Do you want that for her? For his family?" He asked me. I stared down into the lifeless face of a boy I'd once known. Dimitri's words were hard, and they cut me deep, but I didn't let him notice.
"I'm… numb. I don't feel anything anymore." I murmured softly.
"Do you honestly want that for her?"
"No…" I answered simply. I turned and walked away, not knowing where I was going. I realized that Adrian had disappeared, probably going to sleep due to so much spirit use. I just needed to be away from this place.
"Rose… wait… I'm sorry. I don't mean to be harsh. I just-." I shook my head.
"I've lost him twice now." I said, still not facing him.
"I know you have. Do you want to make his family have to lose him twice too?" He asked. I shook my head.
"I wouldn't want to put anyone through this again." I whispered. "I'm the one who deserves to live with this. They don't."
"No one deserves this." He said. I felt him approaching me from behind. He was right behind me, but I didn't turn. "You didn't do this to him."
"I know… but I let it happen." I said, sadly. I couldn't help but blame myself. Who else was there to blame?
"You didn't ask for this to happen to him. You did all that you could, if not more."
"I could have done more. I could have stopped it." I said.
"What? Then, or now? While he was trying to kill me?" He asked. I knew he was asking me if I'd have rather lost him just now, than Landon have to full die.
"Then." I whispered. He obviously could see how his words affected me, because it was like everything he said just cut me down a little further. He leaned down, and laid his chin on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Roza. I'm not trying to be hurtful, I'm just-." I cut him off with a nod.
"I know." I stated simply.
"Come on, let's get you inside."
"Don't you have to call the-?" I started. He nodded.
"I will." He said. "Come on." He took my hand and led me back inside. The sun was starting to rise now. I knew strigoi couldn't go out in the sun so I only imagined what that'd do to Landon's body. I didn't want to think about it, and I sure as hell didn't want to see it. Dimitri made a five minute phone call and then led me into his room.
"Are they coming?" I asked.
"It's taken care of." He murmured.
"Why'd you bring me in here?" I was looking around, drinking in everything about his room once again. I'd never admit it out loud, but I loved when he brought me here. It felt like home.
"You're sleeping in here tonight."
"Why?" I asked, confused.
"This is the second time I've almost lost you to a strigoi, Roza. I just need you close by tonight." He said. The warmth of his words made my heart smile. I just nodded once, knowing I could refuse an offer like that. He changed his clothes, and came out in nothing but a wife beater and shorts. I had to keep my eyes on the ground. He came out with a wet wash cloth, and started wiping Landon's blood off my body. When his fingers left the rag and dragged across my skin, it took everything I had to hold onto any kind of self control within me. He then lifted my hands to look at my palms. They were pretty bad off from where I'd hit the ground. He wiped them, and put some medicine on them before wrapping them.
"All better." He murmured.
"Thank you… for doing this."
"My pleasure, I assure you." He touched my leg before he stood up, sending this fire through my veins. He threw the rag in the clothes hamper, and sat back down beside me. I lay back, groaning. The tears had ceased, but it didn't take away the memories of kissing Landon, but watching Dimitri drive the stake straight through his back. I'd had a hand in both of his deaths, and now… he was really gone. No stopping it anymore, no going back. It was done. "You okay?" He asked, leaning back and propping himself up on his elbow.
"I'm fine." I murmured. I looked over at him to see his eyes were going from my chest, to my mouth, my body, and back to my eyes. When he leaned closer, I knew what he was doing, what he was asking, and I wasn't about to tell him no… not here, and not now. He touched my face, and then pressed his soft lips to mine. Even in spite of all the death and destruction around us, it seemed like this was perfection. It was moments like this that I shared with him that made all of it almost worth it. I moved closer to him, almost putting myself on top of him. I knew this was wrong, but it felt oh so right, how could I not? I ran my hand down his bare arm. His fingers left sparks where he touched. I finally forced myself away.
"We can't…" I murmured. I sat up, and shook my head.
"Hey… no, you're right. I'm sorry, I just-." I turned and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips cutting off what he was going to say.
"No… Don't apologize. It isn't that I don't-." I stopped when he smiled at me.
"Let's just get some sleep." He said. I nodded.
"Alright." I scooted back, and we both got comfortable. There was a long silence, where no one said anything. I knew he was still awake, because his breathing was shallow, and he was moving around a lot. "Dimitri…" I whispered. I'd been waiting to do this for what seemed like forever. I knew it was now or never, and right now… I had the balls to do it.
"Yes?" I took a deep breath.
"I love you." I whispered into the darkness. I felt his hand find mine, as his fingers brushed against my leg. He squeezed my hand.
"I love you too Roza." There was a long silence after this. I didn't know what to say, or where to go from here, so I just laid there, staring up at the ceiling. I attempted to close my eyes and let sleep find me, but I knew that was going to be next to impossible since every time I closed my eyes all I saw was Landon and I's last kiss, and then Dimitri driving the stake through his back. It had to be done I know, and the world was better off one less strigoi, but he was my strigoi. He was my best friend regardless of everything else. It still stung. The wound from thinking he was dead was still fresh and open, and this was just like pouring salt into it. I felt a lone tear run down my cheek, but almost as if he sensed something was wrong, he rolled over and laid an arm across my stomach, pulling me closer to him. I laid my hand against his chest.
"You okay?"
"I'm fine now." I murmured, splaying my fingers to feel more of his perfect body. I felt him press a kiss to my forehead, and sigh.
"I don't know what I would have done if I'd have lost you today." He whispered.
"I honestly thought I was dead. I wouldn't have been able to kill him, Dimitri. I remembered what you said about them not being who they used to be, and that they were monsters, but I just wouldn't have been able to do that." I said, shaking my head.
"Hey… Shh. I know, and I wouldn't have expected you too this soon in the game. Being able to do that comes with time, and you were attached to him. It's harder that way, I know. It doesn't matter now. It's over, and we don't have to worry about it anymore." He told me.
"I'll miss him."
"And I know you will, but you've got to move on. You've also got to look at the bright side. We saved him." He said.
"Saved him?" I asked. "We killed him."
"You saved him from a fate he never would have wanted, Roza. He was kind, and a sweet person, you know that. Being a strigoi turned him into just the opposite, and he would have never wanted that for himself. He would have rathered been dead that out killing people just for the sake of killing. That wasn't Landon, and you know that." He said. I nodded, knowing he was right. Landon would have preferred death over being a strigoi.
"If I ever get turned into a strigoi, Dimitri…. I want you to kill me." I said, into the darkness. I felt his body tense under my hands.
"That's never going to happen. A strigoi is never going to get their fangs that close to you… ever." He said, his voice hard.
"I'm serious, Dimitri."
"So am I. I'm not going to ever let one of those things hurt you." He told me, burying his head into my collar bone.
"I'm going to be gone from here soon. You can't protect me forever." I said, softly. I didn't really want to think about what it would be like when I left him, when I left this place. I didn't know how I'd function without someone sturdy like him in my life.
"I… I don't want to think about that right now." He said.
"Dimitri, you've got to face that I'm leaving in a few months."
"I know I do. It's not that it bothers me so much that you leaving as it does… I won't be able to protect you." He told me.
"I'll be fine… the academy has wards." I said.
"Wards that are staked and can be staked at any time." He retorted back.
"By the time we're done here, I'll be trained enough where I could take out a few strigoi if I needed to. Dimitri, this is what I'm training for."
"I know."He said. I yawned, and snuggled closer to him. "Goodnight, Rose."
"Night Dimitri." I whispered, before closing my eyes and falling asleep, drinking in his scent, and the feel of him on my skin.