Shanzira and Vaike: C Support

I'm so going to regret this, but it needs to be done. Where is our resident idiot? ... There he is. Why is everyone in the pantry when I want to talk to them? Sigh. Okay, just keep calm and stay lofty. "Hey, Vaike. Don't let this go to your head, but I have a favor to ask you."

The paradoxically blonde-with-tanned-skin guy turns around in his chair; I can hear it creak under his weight. I can only imagine he's one-seventy-five or something, what with all that muscle. And he's got that dumb shit-eating grin on his face, ugh. It's with his usual delighted hubris that he asks, "oh yeah? Whaddaya need, squirt?"

Sigh. Okay, stay calm, don't let him piss you off. Gods, he's like those dumbasses in middle school, except his hair's blonde, not black. Keep that out of your mind, Shanz, just school him and then ask your favor. "First, don't call me squirt. I might be lacking in stature, but I can outwit you any day." Damn STRAIGHT I can! I'm not a tactician, but I certainly am clever! Try me, asshole.

He nods his head, bouncing it up and down. "Mm-hmm," and this is with a hint of sarcasm, obviously his stupid hubris won't let him see otherwise. "So what is it ya need from Teach?" He puts his hands on his hips and puffs out his chest. I'm reminded of Virion.

I point to the chair, adopting a mien of briskness. "Sit down and don't move. Need to draw you." I pull up a chair for myself, setting up my sketchbook, quill, and inkwell.

He glances from the chair to me. "Oh? Shanzira? Drawing the VAIKE?" He points at himself delightedly. "I thought ya hated me!"

He reminds me of me.

This is highly disturbing.

Satirically comes my response: "My, how is it you were able to tell?" More seriously, I add, "and to answer your query, I'm drawing all the Shepherds." Drop voice to a whisper, to see if I can get away with this: "Shirtless."

Vaike shrugs, still smiling. "Well, yer always so cold whenever Teach says hello! So I figured that meant hate." He looks remotely smart when he gesticulates like that, with that little shrug and all. Fuck it, he's almost cute. "But I guess if yer drawing the Vaike with everyone else, that means ya don't mind me so much!" His arms fold at the last bit, and he gives me this smug grin. I can just imagine an eyebrow waggle accompanying it. Stop making me want to slap you, Vaike. I'm really tempted to school you here and now.

I let out a sigh to dissipate my irritation. "You're useful for one thing, more than anyone else."

"And that is?" Vaike takes a seat in the chair I indicated earlier, unfolding his arms and leaning forward interestedly. He's... actually almost like a kid. Damn, my opinion of him needs serious revision.

I shrug and get to work, motioning for him to pick a pose and hold still. "Never had such a wonderful opportunity to practice anatomy in my life." Ah, the wonderful feel of a quill being touched to paper, how relaxing.

"Wait..." I can almost hear the cogs turning, and I stop myself from giggling as I imagined a few missing. "So ya don't mind Teach because he never wears a shirt?"

Whoa. Damn. Vaike's apparent IQ just shot up by fifty. Not only did he understand what I meant, but he understand how he's such a great help. Holy fuck. He's legitimately caught me off guard. And he put it in rather an embarrasing way. I squint to conceal a possible blush. "Did you HAVE to put it like that? But essentially, that's it. Unfortunately, I've always been foggy on masculine anatomy, since everyone where I come from wears a shirt or something to that effect." I shrug at that last bit, then return the nib to the parchment. "And I happen to have the wonderful pleasure of being female." This comes with a smile. Ahh, how wonderful it is to be female.

He raises up half his mouth in a frown. "Psh, ya sound almost..." He takes a pause, trying to figure out the best way to word his thoughts. "Ya sound like yer lording it over us, like yer better than all us guys."

Okay, that I can understand. I mean, I see how I can come off as being that way. "I don't mean to toot my own horn, believe me. I'm just quite happy with my sex and tickled to belong to the fairer one. But men have their charms," I add carefully. It's not like I believe one gender is superior, I just personally find girls to be prettier, even though I DO have a hell of a weakness for dudes. "As an artist, it's important that I understand said charms."

He raises up his eyebrows and moves his mouth into a wide smirk. "Men have their charms, eh? Like the Vaike?" He points his thumb to himself.

I scoff. "Sorry, I only date smart guys." Then I pull out a good line from... What was his name, Bill Engvall? Or was it Ron White? "You can't fix stupid."

He puffs up indignantly, back straighter than before. "Hey! Sure ya can! Ya just gotta try!"

It's my turn to raise my eyebrows high and smile smugly. "So you admit to being stupid!" Wow, I've never had such ease in a teasing contest, ever. Then again, I mostly sparred with my dad, who is obnoxiously good at it.

Vaike lifts his arms a little to protest, coming close to standing up. "Okay, that's not fair AT ALL!"

I rub my face, wiping tears of amusement from my eyes and straightening out my grin. "Oh, this is priceless." I pack up my art supplies, having finished my sketch. "Catch you later, student." I wink and exit.

"Come back here, squirt!" 'Teach' calls after me. "Argh!"

First draft: Sucked. Second draft: Freakin' genius. I had to research his mannerisms for a few minutes to get him right. So here's Vaike, as requested by reviewer number one (thank you, red lilies! :D). Not sure who I'm doing next, but I have quite a few scripts lying around. I found myself growing a little more fond of Vaike as I wrote him, for some stupid reason these characters grow on you if you imagine them in reality. I could almost hug them.