A/N: Hi there! All right, so it's been forever since I've updated. I must say, first of all, that I am becoming increasingly unhappy with this story, and I'm being tempted to stop writing it. I hate it hate it HATE it when an author stops right in the middle, so I've vowed never to do so myself. This story will finish, but it'll probably be a lot shorter than I'd originally intended and I don't think there will be any follow ups. For anyone who's supported me throughout, thank you SO much and I love you all. As authors we all know how awesome it feels to have support and feedback. Please enjoy this (late) installment of End!
End
4
Selfish: devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
Love can be a selfish word, for it is a dimension that only truly fits two.
"Popuri?"
My door creaked open, as Caitlin stuck her red head in.
"Hey, Popuri!"
I ignored her.
"...Aww, c'mon. You can't still be mad over that kid." She studied me. "You are a morbid little grudge holder, despite the pink hair. Don't worry, the little monster's fine."
The little monster. Some people referred to their kids like that in a humorous, teasing way. But I had heard Caitlin call him a monster before, and there was nothing loving about it. His cries and the black aura he had still haunted my dreams. I had to know.
"What's his name?"
She blinked at me. "...Hmm. Okay. I suppose you're allowed. The kid's Alexander, but everybody just calls him Alex. His middle name's Timothy." Her eyes bored into me. "...You really care."
I bit my lip and twirled a pink lock around my finger, refusing to look at her.
She shook her head. "Popuri. Don't get too attached. This isn't like your little hometown, where everybody dies in the same house where they were born. People disappear, and nobody knows where. Except for Kai's father, of course. He... He's the one that sends them off." Her eyes narrowed. "Popuri, he wants to talk to you. I won't lie. Widen those little red eyes, plead, do whatever you must. I like you, girl, and I don't want to see anything happen to you. Besides that it would break Kai's heart, you won't survive whatever it is he wants you to do. You're a delicate child yet."
My face burned. "I'm not a child."
"You are here." She beckoned with her finger for me to follow her as she spun and left the room.
"And Caitlin?"
"Yes?" She slid her card through the slot and tapped her red fingernails impatiently along the wall, as the elevator doors slid open.
"...Why do you keep saying that he loves me?" My throat closed up.
She sighed and pushed me into the elevator.
"Popuri, I'm guessing that what you see now is some sort of evil, cruel Kai that hates your guts. Before Kai went to Mineral Town, he was pretty much acted like this... All the time." She waved her hand and squeezed her eyes shut as she thought. "Kai liked the freedom and... the happiness that Mineral Town gave him. And Kai liked you. Very much. He started taking interest in strange things when he returned. Surfing, cooking... He enjoyed his life on the beach, away from here. Kai got to live like a normal person, not a supernatural... Well, you've probably guessed what we do."
No. I hadn't.
She looked at me, and then sighed again. This one was long and bitter.
"Have you ever heard of the Ghostbusters?"
"No."
She laughed. "Okay. This will be harder than I thought. You really are a small-town girl. Essentially, our organization here is made to take down anything supernatural. Werewolves, vampires, ghosts, mythical creatures. Even higher up mystical beings, like your Goddess. We've never been able to capture one of those, though. They're crazy strong. The whole thing might sound cliche, and stupid, and silly. But it's real. And they're threats. We recruit them, if possible, to take down more of their kind. But eventually, we'll destroy them." She went quiet. "Completely destroy. Every one, anything supernatural. Eventually, our organization will have to collapse in on itself, because we rely too much on it. Sad, isn't it?"
There was a ding, and the long elevator ride ended.
And all I could ask was why.
"Nobody knows. All of this- every day, every kidnapping, every imprisonment. And nobody involved knows why. There is no reason." Her hands unconsciously clutched at her clothes, her hair. "We're playing this dark game, and we don't know why. Ever since I was brought here, it's just been pure misery, and nobody tells you a thing. Is that why you think Kai doesn't love you, because he brought you to this place? Perhaps you're right. Perhaps you're right. Perhaps we're all condemned because that blasted man lifts a finger and tells us to go. Is it worth it? Is it? How can we live like this?"
She wasn't even talking to me anymore, ranting to herself in a frenzy.
Before, I had seen Caitlin, and Kai, and everyone else that was here as the imprisoners- the ones who turned the key and closed the gate, who locked me in and hurt me. I hadn't seen the chains around their feet, but now I could. They had more freedom than I, but they too were trapped.
They called me a child, someone who didn't know anything, but they were just as in the dark. Kai could try and protect me, but he had no control over my fate, or what happened to me.
Did he love me?
That tiny voice in my head, now strengthened by Caitlin, whispered that he did.
And there he was, standing in the room, clutching my hand with strength, determined.
"Father."
The man surveyed us with cold curiosity. "Kai, we have spoken of this before. I am a busy man. I do not have time to listen to your pathetic little requests about your precious little... girl."
"You can't do this to her. To me. This has nothing to do with your plans, this has nothing to do with anything! You're torturing her with no visible intention!"
"Don't be a fool. Naturally I have an intention. If you remember, Kai, she is friends with the Goddess and sister to a former werewolf. If I, for example, wished to capture said Goddess, it wouldn't be impossible for me to use the girl as bait."
Kai's hand tightened on mine, practically crushing it in his grip. My pale hand contrasted with his tan, callous one; he was angry and I was helpless, once again.
"Bait," he practically spat. "Bait. You think I'll let you use Popuri as bait?"
The man's face darkened. "Monitor those emotions, Kai. Remember who is in control here."
And then I was wrenched along with Kai as he stormed to the front of his father's desk and slammed his fist down upon it, starting a lengthy, furious rant in their language. I was cringing and felt the tears forming at the corner of my eyes, salty and terrible, childish. I was cut out, a breeze clinging to Kai's sleeve, until a perfect hand landed upon my shoulder.
"Sir," Caitlin smoothly intervened, "I believe that Popuri's input would make Kai more accepting, if not more understanding. After all, I am sure she would be willing to sacrifice a few things if we were to offer payment."
"And what would you suggest, Caitlin?" His black eyes turned to glare at her. "You have five seconds to convince me that your interruption doesn't deserve a beating."
Caitlin didn't even flinch at the threat. "Popuri's mother has an easily curable disease. We possess the flower. If Popuri obeys us, we cure her mother and everything comes out dandy. But I bet she would agree with us even without such a payment, wouldn't you, Popuri?"
Her eyes met with mine, brimming with a malice I had never encountered in her before. Somehow, the man before us had changed her. I wanted to step back, but Kai was my harbor, regardless of how safe he was for me.
"Why is that?" The man's eyes trailed on her every move, humor making his dark eyes narrow.
"Do you," she whispered, circling me, "Popuri Chite," her face came close to mine, "take Kai to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
My heart gave a painful cry. How many times had I imagined that scene in my mind, the pure white dress and roses, coming down the aisle to meet the person I loved most. My red eyes turned to look at him, to question him, and his brown looked back at me, startled and unsure, pained. I opened my mouth to ask what they meant, but Kai beat me to action.
"No," he gritted out, and his father gave a chuckle.
Kai wrenched his arm from my fingers and turned away from me. My heart was burning in fire, flaming to ash. After all this. I had thrown away my life because I thought he might want me for once, just once. Once would be enough for me, little chicken girl. I was a little girl. Tears were coming out quickly, burning my white cheeks and leaving their red mark on my eyes. I couldn't move.
"This is an acceptable version of my plans." The chair turned around and Caitlin grinned up at me like a cat. I still didn't understand. Why would they want me to marry Kai? She had to take my hand and pull me away from the desk. I was in a daze. Kai was already back in control, walking from the room with his hands in his pockets and a smile frozen to his lips.
When we were outside he slapped Caitlin so quickly I didn't even realize what he had done. She held her cheek with a smile, with a laugh, green eyes smirking to his face with a satisfied glory.
"I'll give you a free one, Kai," she sang, her voice breathy and so light I felt she would float away. "But no matter how fast you are you still won't be able to get your hands on me."
"Do not push me," he hissed. His handsome face twisted from controlled anger to wild rage. My Kai was angry over me, over her, over our arranged marriage... A small cry forced itself through my throat and I must have taken a step back, because he whirled to look at me.
I must have been a sight. Red eyes, pale, hair frizzy and uncombed, ruby eyes looking to him, small childish body trembling beneath his hot stare. Hopeless and crushed, worn to the thin by this horrible place and what it was doing to me, emotionally and physically. Goddess, why was I so frail?
"My mother," I whispered, small and tiny in the face of confrontation. "Can he really heal her?"
"Of course," Caitlin snorted.
I summoned the courage remaining in my small body and turned to Kai, who was staring at me still, gaze moving over me like a wave, taking in everything at once and trying to bring it in and understand.
"I have no doubt he can," he finally said.
"So you'll comply, then? Don't be a fool, Popuri, and take the good things given to you." Caitlin's voice was smooth, persuasive. I had seen her in so many moods by now it was like she was constantly changing: my friend one moment and a complete member of Kai's society the next. One minute she said Kai loved me and the next she was forcing our marriage.
Kai's fists clenched at his sides. Even in my oblivious naivette, I could easily tell that Kai didn't want this. It was spelled out in the stiffness of his posture and the pained scowl that grew on his face. He pulled at his bandanna with silent fury. I hated to see him that way, hated to see my precious summer traveller angry with me.
"Popuri," Caitlin urged sweetly, "Let Kai know your feelings."
My eyes burned and it hurt to swallow through the large lump growing there. My eyes moved to Kai, but he was still turned away, a wall firmly established between us.
I couldn't make my Kai do this. I was such a selfish child; I couldn't force my way if he didn't want it. I wanted him to love me, so much I felt I was on fire. I wanted to breathe in his scent of pineapples and summer and for him to hug me back, really hug me back, for once. But I couldn't force him to do any of that, not me.
"You don't have to marry me if you don't want it."
It was whispered out, my voice breaking and wavering on each syllable, a song that attested to how lonely I felt.
Then I fled.
"Idiot!" I heard hissed behind me, but I couldn't tell if it was meant for me. I did not care either.
There were footsteps as Caitlin with her long legs easily caught up to my tottering run, red hair flung about her face with a sense of urgency. She shook her head, but her green eyes were sad, hopeless.
"You two," she murmured, and reached her pale arms around me. "You make this so difficult." I reacted as anyone would to a pair of warm arms when they were crying. I put my head on her shoulder and let it flow, let my quiet sobs escalate into gasping cries. I would prefer his arms over hers, but who was I to choose? I knew he was still in the dark hall, dimly lit by overhead lamps. I knew he was still standing there, purple bandanna pulled far over his forehead, but brown eyes surveying, watching.
That was too much for me.
His hoarse voice broke through Caitlin's whispered murmurs of comfort. "Let me-"
Her hug stiffened and she looked straight at him. "You can't have it this way, Kai. Don't you see what you're doing to her? Can you not tell? Popuri loves you, darn it! She came over here in that bloody boat just like everyone else, except on her own decision! You think she is too frail to handle a lifetime of this? I think she's stronger than you! You're AFRAID, Kai! You're afraid she will be hurt or used by this organization that your own father controls. You're afraid this innocent soul will be corrupt, your precious person destroyed. You're afraid that she won't love you if you condemn her more than you already have! She still loves you even when she's seen this darkness that lies in your soul! This isn't something you can lock out of your inner fortress. She's already breached the walls, because you let her in. And now you're forcing her out. Oh, it hurts you plenty to do such a thing, but you're protecting her. Such the noble knight, sacrificing your whole self for an unstable love but not allowing her to do the same in return when her path turns rough. You just didn't expect her to be so attached, did you? You believed no one could love you. You can have your way with women and they can all die, but Popuri we must guard by chaining her to you and starving her of any love, any caress, any certainty of your affection. She thinks you hate her! Look, Kai! Look at what you've done to the only person you ever loved!"
She whipped us around and pushed me out towards him, in front of her. Reflected in his eyes I could see myself, my childish body fatigued and wraith thin with depression. My pink hair and red eyes used to highlight my rosy cheeks, but they now served as the only pale, dim color on me. My tears still rolled down my trembling face, though my sobbing had ceased.
"She's dying, Kai. It's not from this place. It's not being separated from home. It's not the horrors of our organization, for we have shielded her from most of that. No, Kai. It's you."
She let me go and my weight became too much for me. My heart was a rock and it dragged me down into the earth.
Through the haze of my tears I could barely see him as he walked over to me, reached down and pulled my face up in front of his own.
"Popuri," he began hesitantly. "Do you honestly believe that I... hate you?" His own voice was incredulous, but tense.
"Sometimes," I choked out. I still couldn't look at him. "Sometimes you do."
He pulled my face to his level once more. Out of the corner of my vision, I saw his eyes blaze. "When is 'sometimes'?"
I didn't respond. I couldn't respond. I was not even sure myself: all I knew was that Kai's love for me was unstable, unsure. It could fall into nothingness at any time, be torn away from me easily. I was helpless.
My face was trembling. My tears were jerked into unnatural patterns, tumbling down my face in waves. Then I realized. I was not the one shaking; it was Kai, his hands on my cheeks unsteady.
"All the time," he whispered to me, voice hoarse once more, "All the time, isn't it? You think I tolerate you like some kind of annoying child whose feelings you can't hurt and you feel obligated to care for." He sucked a breath in. "Goddess, Popuri. You just... don't seem to understand..."
"Get it bloody out," Caitlin spat. "We don't have time for you to sit around vaguely hinting that you don't hate her. Tomorrow we're taking you two to the market and after that you're getting married. Slowly working up to a general agreement that your relationship is more than friends has come far too late. Say something permanent. Actually, perhaps it would be best if you proposed-" she paused for a moment, then glared at him. "Don't look at me that way. Popuri WILL be your wife, if you wish her to live. You have no idea the risk I took for you two- no, for her. Do not think I would do anything for you."
Kai's face twisted into a grim line. "I would prefer if you had not suggested it."
"Oh? Then what do you propose we do with little Popuri here? She currently serves no purpose to your father, and we all know how he hates to see human waste."
"Don't call her that." He stepped closer, and Caitlin smiled confidently into his dark face.
"Then what else? Besides, Kai," she finished casually, pushing me forward so he was forced to catch me, "Don't act as if you aren't looking forward to it. And when this scheme is complete, perhaps your father will let you keep her. Popuri will serve our cause, and then she will be allowed to remain beside you. In case you haven't noticed, your father quite enjoys how... easily you can be manipulated when your precious girl is involved."
My mouth was dry, but I managed to open it up and speak. "...Why do you want us to get married?"
Caitlin broke into a grin. "Isn't that obvious? We haven't been able to get close to the Harvest Goddess in years. We haven't even managed to get on the island; every time we send a crew she sinks the ship. Planes get struck down by lightning... we've even tried swimming, but that was a far greater failure than the other two. But if you were on the boat... She would be unable to destroy it. We'd tie you to the mast and make sure that if we died, you would as well, and she knows that. Essentially, Popuri, you're our ticket to Mineral Town. And not to mention the key to luring the Harvest Goddess away from her spiritual realm." Her grin grew wider, and I felt my body go cold as her eyes sparkled in joyful malice.
"Shut up," Kai growled, but the woman was far gone, delighted with the image, lacing her fingers together in front of her and still smiling.
"Your marriage will be her final undoing. She will be forced to attend; it's a rule for her to bless all unions of her townsfolk. And when she appears at the altar... we will be waiting."
My legs went numb and I began to stagger. My friend. My best friend. Jill... My wedding wasn't supposed to be this way... My wedding was supposed to be filled with love and Kai's carefree smile. I saw the white gown for what it was to be: a weapon straight to my best friend's heart and a key to the destruction of my village. Kai held me as Caitlin's eyes lost their unnatural shine.
"Mm... Went a bit too far with her, didn't I?" She blinked and the final traces of the delusion left her gaze, to be replaced with a strange sadness, hardened by resolve. "It is a death trap for the Goddess... She might as well know what this means. If it is any explanation as to why you don't want to marry her."
Kai's grip on me went ever tighter and he spun us both around, pushing me away from the red haired woman. Our steps resounded on the hard floor, until his voice came out honest and raw.
"I never said I didn't want to marry her." He didn't even stop walking. "I just can't." He glanced back at her once more, and I could suddenly see a soft grin come onto his face. "There's a difference, you know." That smile turned down to me, an expression I hadn't seen in a long time but treasured as much as my life.
He let me walk on my own as we approached the elevator, tugging on his purple bandanna and letting his gaze travel the walls. We walked into the small room and I felt it shift beneath me, pulling us up. I remembered the last time I had been in this elevator with Kai, and my cheeks flushed.
There was something tugging at my mind from the previous night, but it was hazy and dark and weighed down by sleep so it sunk into my subconscious. I remembered pineapples... I remembered the cool breeze drifting from my open window. Kai had taken me back to my room, and had tucked me into my warm covers, and then...
The elevator jerked to a stop and I lost what I believed to be only a memory of a dream.
I pulled open my door, and it reminded me so much of the very first time I had been here, when I was confused and lost. All I had now was more information and more mysteries at my fingertips, and maybe... that glowing warm feeling in my chest that let me know he wanted me. Caitlin had told me for my entire stay here that he loved me, but it had only taken a few sentences from Kai to make me believe it.
It was horrific, but I was happy. They were planning to use me, to destroy my village and remove our goddess and my best friend, and all I could think of was Kai opening my door. I stepped inside, into my bright prison, and he looked back at me unsteadily, hand on the doorknob and face considering something...
My stomach rumbled.
"...Didn't eat breakfast this morning, did you?"
My cheeks went as red as my eyes and I whirled to the fridge, pulling it open as the frigid air hit my face. Wonderful... just wonderful. He looked as if he was about to tell me something, and the best I could do was let my hunger get in the way.
A tanned hand fell on top of my pale one on the handle, and I started.
"What have you been eating?" He inspected the contents of the fridge, and let a smirk cross his face. "Same stuff as the rest of us, I see."
I couldn't help but feel awkward and out of place. His chocolate eyes took on a lazy confidence, and the scent of sand and pineapples was overwhelming as it came off him. He was more like my mysterious traveller than ever, the one I had fallen in love with, but I knew that was not his normal self. I knew the darkness, the suffering that lay behind the summer sun.
"Kai-"
He cut me off, reaching past me to pull the freezer open.
"Would you like a snow cone?"
I blinked at him. "...What?"
He still did not look at me. "And some pizza or something, of course." He took a deep breath as he slung a small bag of ice over his shoulder. "And then... We can talk about this."
I was torn.
One half of my heart knew what was best for the town, knew what was best for the Harvest Goddess. I could not return, could not be a part of the trap that would ensnare and kill her.
Another part of me remembered my mother's dying legs, black and broken, hardly supporting her. With every glowing smile she had given me, she had ground her legs further into dark dust. They promised to heal her, they promised what my father had. He might be able to come home, if he knew. His search for that distant flower would end and he would return to us, to my healthy mama and the newly confident Rick. He might put some trust in me, finally, the woman who had done what he could not for years.
My broken family would be pieced back together. But it would be under a shattered red sky, with the chickens dead and the blood of my best friend on my fingertips.
My other motive was nothing but selfish.
To marry Kai... It was everything the Mineral Town chicken girl had wanted, to marry her precious traveller and live her happy life with her family.
I couldn't be a little chicken girl anymore, who didn't know anything and who selfishly pushed her way. Adults had to choose the right thing even if it ripped their heart into a thousand pieces and flung it into the depths of the sea.
I remembered the swimming contests we had on the beach, those that Kai always won.
"Do you think... If the ship was sinking... That they'd kill you, Kai?"
He glanced up sharply from the kitchen counter, his knife hovering over a fruit, chocolate eyes serious once more. "No... Most likely not... But...?"
"I'll pray to the Harvest Goddess when we're on our way to the island." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. The knife was embedded into the cutting board by then, and Kai was approaching me fast, gripping my hands in his own and anchoring me to the spot.
"No." It was firm, curt, final. But it held a sense of desperation. He was... begging me. "No, Popuri. Absolutely not."
I couldn't look at him, even when his breath was hot and ragged upon my face. "I'll tell her to sink the ship, no matter what..."
A/N: Haha it's so DEPRESSED! Anyways, I believe I've been getting Kai's character off track and I do love him as a character, so I'm trying to get our handome-bandanna-wearing-flirtatious cook back. Please tell me if anything's confusing or strange, because while it may make sense to my demented little brain, it may not to readers. Reviewing is always, always appreciated. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!
supernae- Thank you so much for reviewing! Yep, Poppy's pretty depressed right now ain't she? Haha I do actually kind of like the whole darkness of the disease thing, because I've always wondered exactly what's wrong with Lillia. She's so SWEET, I can't believe they'd inflict HER with the disease and not Anna, Manna, or Sasha. Grr. Well, anyway, thanks for reading as always and I hope you've enjoyed this.