Chapter 31

"We have exactly the time for me to read the back of this bag of pork rinds for you to get ready before Edward gets here to pick you up," Alice stated, as she sat at the end of my bed. "Why exactly do you have pork rinds in your bedroom?"

"We ran out of the good snacks and I was hungry. Stop with the judgment, Tiny Dancer." I rubbed my wet hair with a towel. "You were the one who made me shower."

"You smelled like moth balls," Alice pointed out. She was correct indeed.

"It's what happens when you wear your grandmother's sweaters." I grabbed a boxy cardigan that Nana Swan used to fill the pockets with cough drops and tissues. "I should wear this. Kid likes me smelling like moth balls."

"He does," she agreed. "Everyone else thinks it revolting. Pick a dress."

I grabbed a dress. "Moth balls keeps them away. Where did you get these frocks, Teeny Tiny Dictator."

"My closet."

I picked up a green one that looked like it had lots of fabric. "How about this one?"

"It's strapless."

I let it drop on the bed. "You are a demented woman."

"Wear the lilac one." She tossed a purple piece of fabric at my head. "It's covering, but still pretty."

"Why are you so bossy?"

Alice grinned and pulled the dress over my head. "I like you, Bella Swan. You're crusty and somewhat scary to deal with, but I still like you. Being with me is good for your development. Plus, I need to learn to deal with all types of people."

"Why would you ever want to deal with people?" It sounded like insanity.

"I'm going to be Mayor of Forks someday."

Oh God. Alice Cullen has been renamed officially. She shall now be known as Teeny Tiny Dictator.

That tyrant continued, as she efficiently as a Drill Sargent braided my hair. "It's a stepping stone really. I'll move onto State Senate, Congress and finally take my place as leader of the free world. I have a binder that I have it all laid out by month. I have to start as Senior Class President, of course. Purse your lips."

"Oh." In my shock, the Teeny Tiny Dictator put lip stick on me. "Is this necessary?"

"No," she said with a wink. "Edward is going to love it, but he loves anything you wear. This will have Charlie satisfied that his punishment has been met."

"Wait...you didn't do this to fill some need to makeover things?"

"Your dad made a list." She held out a piece of notebook paper filled with chicken scratch.

I was going to replace the old man's beer with raspberry lime seltzer. I hope he likes fruity bubbles.

"Hey Teeny Tiny Dictator, why is your brother interested in me anyway? He's a nice person and I'm..."

"A female Oscar the Grouch. You just need a pet worm. Bella, Edward gets feelings about people. He either likes or dislikes them instantly. When you walked in the front door of school, he went all crazy eyed. He loved the hell out of you."

"Love?" I wanted to throw up, but that took effort.

My comforting dictator put me in front of the mirror. "Calm down, Oscar. Just have fun and go with the flow. You clean up pretty nicely."

I looked at myself in the purple dress and pink lips with my hair pulled back. I was pretty. I wanted to punch someone in the nose.

"Bells, Prince Charming is here!" Chief Charlie called up.

"I can't do this," I muttered.

"Yes, you can," she moved me towards the door. "Umm...Bella, you might be tempted to dump him during this date, but just try for me."

"What?"

"Nothing!" Her big eyes went wide and her smile was fake.

I walked down the stairs to find a gawking Charlie and Baseball Boy.

"Are you my kid?" My father inquired,

"You're on my list, old timer." I looked at my date nervously. He wore the preppy uniform of button down and khaki pants. He held a cactus out to me.

"Hey kid," I said taking the cactus. "Perfect. It's prickly like my disposition."

"No hives tonight. You look like a vision," Baseball Boy stated looking at me with adoration. It made me feel dizzy.

"You sound like a romantic comedy." I looked at my feet. "Umm...thanks."

He raised my face. "You are truly beautiful."

Damn charmer.

He kissed me softly, until Chief Charlie cleared his throat.

"Off you go, children."

"I'll bring her back safely, sir."

My dad smiled. "I'm sure you will, son. Have a good time."

Edward led me to his car and I felt fluttering in the pit of my stomach. I hoped it wasn't the start of something.

AN: The date? You can try to guess if you want.