I was running on fumes at this point. I gathered the rest of my stuff up, barely able to hold my eyes open. The only sleep I'd gotten was being in the dream with Adrian, and that was maybe a little over an hour. It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door. I expected Dimitri, but when I opened it, it was Adrian. He frowned when he saw me.
"Rose, you look like-." I cut him off.
"Shit, yeah… I'm aware. Thanks for the boost of self-confidence this morning." He rolled his eyes.
"I was gonna say you look like you haven't slept, but whatever." He told me. I sighed and nodded. He started picking up my bags, and carrying them downstairs and to whatever vehicle we were taking. I grabbed my last two bags, and started downstairs. When I reached the main room, I looked around one last time, taking everything in before walking out the front door. It was taking all I had to not turn back around and run into his room and throw myself into his arms. I made this decision; I was going to stick with it. I hadn't made it to the van when I heard the door open behind me.
"Roza… wait-." He said. I stopped, but I didn't turn around.
"Don't do this, Guardian Belikov." I said, using his title. It hurt a lot less than saying his name.
"Rose, please… You don't have to do this." I turned to him.
"You gave me no choice. This is my only option now."
"It doesn't have to be this way." He said.
"I tried to tell you in the beginning, Dimitri. I really did. I warned you, and you kept pulling me in. I'm in over my head as it is." That's when his eyes left me, and fell on Adrian as he came around the van.
"Adrian… what are you-." Adrian started to speak, but I spoke for him.
"He's going with me." I handed him my bags so he could put them in the van too. He turned, but that's when Dimitri spoke again, catching his attention.
"I thought you were my friend." He said, pain obvious in his voice. I knew what he was thinking, and that wasn't the case at all. Regardless, if it hurt him, I'd let him think that. He deserved the pain for what he was putting me through. Adrian turned to him.
"I am your friend, Dimitri. I'm also her friend, and I just can't imagine her out there… alone." He told him.
"It's more than that, and you know it." Dimitri growled.
"Believe what you want, Belikov. I'm doing this for her, not for you." Adrian said, before turning back to the van.
"Just wait for me in the van, Adrian. I'll be there in a second." Dimitri glared after Adrian as he walked away.
"It's not him your angry at. Remember that." I told him. His focus then came back to me.
"Roza, rethink what you're doing. Please, this is stupid. You're making a big deal out of nothing. We'll figure this out… just-."
"Dimitri, just give it up." I told him.
"I won't. This isn't over, Rose. It can't end like this."
"It already has." I told him. I turned back to the van, and then back to him. "I have to go."
"Where are you going?"
"I haven't quite figured that out yet. Somewhere far away from here, atleast for a little while, until I can go back to Lissa." I told him.
"She'd be upset if she knew you were leaving." He said. I decided I'd lie to him, just to throw that logic back in his face.
"She already knows, and she's fine with it." I snapped. He looked down.
"I love you." He murmured. My heart was shattering to the ground in front of me.
"I… I can't love you."
"Roza… don't." He said.
"Good-bye, Dimitri." I said, turning around and starting to the van. I heard his footsteps start towards me, but I turned around causing him to halt. "Just… Just let me go.
"I can't…" He said. I saw a tear leak down his face. I took a deep breath and walked over to him, stopping right in front of him. I reached up, and wiped the tear away before meeting his gaze full of pain.
"It's better off this way. Out of sight, out of mind." I stood on my tip toes and kissed his cheek before turning around and starting to the van. He grabbed my hand, and held it for just a second, causing me to turn to look at him. A few tears ran down my cheeks as I spoke. "Some people… they're just not meant to be, no matter how much they wish they were. Just… Let me go." His hand slowly slid from mine, and fell limply to his side. I turned around, and walked to the van, getting in and closing the door.
"You ready?" Adrian asked.
"No, but let's go." I whispered, before he pulled away from the estate. I spared one last glance in the side mirror to see Dimitri still standing there, watching the van as it disappeared. Adrian looked over at me, and patted my hand.
"You're going to be alright. You'll get through this." He promised me. I nodded.
"I know." I murmured. We drove for what seemed like forever before we made our first stop at a gas station for a bathroom break. I went in and got a soda and some food, before heading back out to the van. I threw the stuff inside, but didn't get in yet. I stood there, staring up into the sky. I wondered how he was doing, how he was adjusting if he was even trying to adjust at all. I wondered what he'd do every morning now that he didn't have to wake up at five to train me. I wondered what Eddie and the others thought now that I was gone. I wondered what kind of story Dimitri had told them as to why I'd left, if he'd even told them at all. When Adrian came out, he walked over to me.
"You alright?"
"I'm fine." I murmured. He smiled at me.
"You did the right thing, you know."
"Did I?" I asked him, looking up to meet his emerald gaze. He nodded.
"You might have saved his job, and your own. Like he said, if anyone ever found out about you two-."
"I tried to tell him. In the beginning… I really did. I warned him, and he just kept pulling and pulling until I was in over my head, and there was honestly nothing I could do." I told him. He just nodded.
"Love makes you do stupid things." He murmured, looking away from me. I could hear the subtext behind his words, but didn't actually look for the meaning.
"It does." I whispered.
"We should probably keep going. We'll have to find a hotel soon, somewhere we can sleep until morning." He told me. I nodded and we both got back into the van. We drove for a little over an hour, as Adrian talked to me about random subjects. It was nice, just listening to him talk. It took my mind off the things I didn't want to think about. It was actually nice to be able to hold a conversation with him. It was then he brought up a subject I didn't want to dive back into.
"Is that the ring you found in Landon's pocket?" He asked, motioning to my hand. It had been awhile since I'd thought about Landon, but now that it had been brought up, my heart ached for him. He could have taken this all away.
"Yes, it is." I breathed. "He was going to give it to me the night of our date… and well, he didn't get the chance."
"How do you know?" He asked me.'
"I read it in his journal that his grandmother left me." I whispered. I missed Landon. I missed him so much. He could have stopped all of this. If he was still here, he could have taken me away from Dimitri, but he left me, and now this is what I have to deal with.
"Do you miss him?" He asked, as if reading my mind.
"More than anything." He just nodded. We finally pulled into a hotel parking lot, and Adrian and I went into the lobby. We rented a room, and then walked around the building to it. We unloaded our bags in front of the door as Adrian unlocked it. When he opened the door, he flicked the lights on to reveal a rather bland room with horrible wallpaper. The first thing I truly noticed was the amount of furniture inside. There was only one bed. Adrian swore under his breath.
"I completely forgot to ask for two beds. She didn't even ask, I guess she assumed. I'll go back and-." I cut him off with a shake of my head.
"It's fine. That'll be too much trouble. I can deal with this." I told him.
"Rose… Really, I can go back and ask for two beds." He assured me. I chuckled.
"Adrian, stop freakin' out. It's fine." I told him, picking up my bags and carrying them inside. He did the same, obviously still a little uncomfortable with our sleeping arrangement. I opened my bag and pulled out a change of clothes. "I'm going to get a shower." He just nodded. I walked into the bathroom, that I kid you not was the size of my closet at the estate, and got a quick shower. I'd been so tense all day from all the stress; I let the hot water unclench all the muscles in my back. When I got out, I threw my hair up in a messy bun, got dressed, and walked out, throwing my clothes on top of my bags. The door to the room was open, and when I looked, Adrian was standing outside smoking a cigarette.
"Those are bad for you, you know." I said. He jumped.
"There are a lot of things that are bad for me, but it doesn't stop me from doing them." He said, motioning to his glass on the counter filled with a brown liquid. It was some sort of expensive scotch, no doubt.
"Should have known you couldn't leave the alcohol behind." I said, shaking my head at him. He chuckled.
"There's still a full bottle in the fridge if you want some. There's another glass in my bag." He told me, smirking. By the look on his face, I could tell he didn't believe that I would. I walked to his bag, and pulled out the crystal glass, and poured myself a drink. He looked a little surprised, which was what I was aiming for. He walked back in, and closed the door, picking up his drink, and sitting down in one of the chairs. I swirled the liquid around in my glass before taking another drink.
"So, where are we headed exactly?" I asked him.
"Well, court right now, so I can grab a few things, and let everyone know where I'll be since they're all so concerned that I left." He rolled his eyes, meaning none of them really cared.
"Then where too?"
"Where ever the road leads us." He said, trying to act all philosophical. He failed horribly at it. Regardless of everything, I laughed. It felt good to genuinely laugh. He smiled at me. "I've missed that."
"What?"
"Hearing you laugh." He admitted. I shrugged.
"Hasn't been very much to laugh about recently." I admitted. He nodded.
"That's very true." He said. We stayed up for what seemed like forever. My one drink turned into four drinks, and then I couldn't stand on my own. We laughed, and regardless of everything, I felt genuinely happy. Even if that happiness only lasted for a little while, it was better than the gut wrenching pain I was feeling earlier. It was late when I finally curled up in bed. Adrian was still hesitant, even though he was drunk.
"Are you sure, Rose? I can sleep on the floor, or in this chair." He said. I rolled my eyes.
"It isn't a big deal. Just get in the damn bed." I muttered. He just nodded and did as I said. As we laid there in silence, I realized I had something I needed to say. "Adrian?" I murmured.
"Yeah?"
"I know I haven't told you this yet… but you offering to go with me, and standing up to Dimitri like you did. It really means a lot to me." I sat up, and looked over at him. "So… thank you."
"It wasn't a problem, little dhampir." He murmured. I laid back down, and rolled over, closing my eyes. The nightmares that assaulted my mind brought me out of my sleep pretty quickly though. I wasn't even sure I'd been asleep for more than an hour. I sat up, looking around, taking in my surroundings. I had to convince myself over and over that it was just a dream. I laid back down, and tried to go to sleep, but the second time, they were worse. The strigoi were after me, after him, he kept running and running, but I just couldn't keep up. They always caught me. I always died, and he got away. Right before the strigoi would kill me; he'd spare a look back at me, but then turn and keep running. This time, I woke up violently, waking Adrian up with me.
"Rose… Rose, what is it?" He asked. I was breathing hard, and tears were streaming down my face. My pillow was soaked with sweat as if I'd actually been running.
"Nothing…. Nothing. I just had a bad dream." I said, getting up and walking into the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face, waking me up. I looked up to see in the mirror to see Adrian standing behind me.
"Are you alright?" He asked me. I shook my head.
"No… but I will be." I whispered. I rubbed my face, taking deep breaths. Adrian rubbed my back.
"Just breathe. It wasn't real." He promised me.
"Just go back to bed, Adrian. I'll be fine. You've got to drive tomorrow. You need to sleep."
"Not until I know you're okay." He told me.
"I'm alright. I'm just a little shaken up."
"Look, come here." He murmured. He took my hand and led me to the bed. He sat me down on the edge and wiped the stray tears from my face. "Lay down, and close your eyes."
"I'm scared." I whispered. He shook his head.
"Don't be. I'm not going to let anything hurt you." He promised. I nodded and did as he said. He walked around the bed, and laid down beside me. He took my hand in his, and rubbed it gently. "I need you to fall back asleep."
"I don't know if I can." I whispered. I was still shaking.
"Try… please." I did as he asked, until finally I couldn't fight it, and I gave into it. The moment my brain succumbed to the exhaustion, I found myself on a tropical beach. It was now I understood what was happening. Adrian wanted me to go back to sleep, so he could manipulate my dreams and keep me from having nightmares. Most of the time, he was in my dreams, but this time… he wasn't. It was then Lissa came walking up the beach, along with Mason Ashford, and all of my friends from St. Vladimir's. It was then the person walking up the beach shocked me. Landon. I knew Adrian was doing this, was creating this for me to make me happy, and it was working, but this would be hard when I woke up. Regardless, I didn't care. I ran to Landon, throwing myself into his arms. He spun me around and kissed me dead on the lips.
"I've missed you Rose."
"I've missed you too, Landon. You have no idea." I whispered. He took my hand and smiled down at the ring.
"I see you got what I left for you." He told me, moving it around on my finger.
"I'll wear it forever." I promised. He smiled at me, which made my heart lurch. We all laid on the beach, played in the water. I swear, it was the best time I felt like I'd had in a century. It wasn't long before Landon pulled me up out of the sand and down the beach.
"I have to go now. You have to wake up, and keep moving." He said. I looked down.
"I don't want to lose you again." He pulled my face up to look at him. He shook his head.
"You're never going to lose me. You understand? I'm always going to be right here." He said, pointing at my chest.
"I'm sorry, Landon. For everything… I feel like...like I failed you." He shook his head.
"The only way you would have ever failed me is if you'd given up, and you haven't. I know you won't. Make me proud, Rose." He whispered, before kissing my lips. I stared at him for a second, taking him in just like this. Dark skinned, green eyes and the boy that could have been my everything. I could have loved him. I should have loved him.
"I will." I whispered. I took a deep breath before I spoke the words that would bring me back into reality. "Adrian… I'm ready to wake up." I said. Landon gave me one last smile before the dream world dissolved around us and I was back in our hotel room. I expected to wake up crying, and upset that I'd had to let him go again, but I wasn't. If anything, I woke up in a good mood. I sat up, and rubbed my face, which woke Adrian up. He sat up, and placed a hand on my arm.
"Are you alright?" He asked. I turned to him and gave him a genuine smile. I leaned over and pressed one kiss to his lips.
"Thank you for that." I murmured. He looked a little confused, probably from the kiss. It wasn't like Adrian and I had never kissed before, but this was different.
"You're welcome?" He said, it sounding more like a question. I rolled out of bed, and took my bag into the bathroom, getting dressed and ready to get back on the road. Once I was done, Adrian went in as I took my bags out to the van. I packed everything else back into the van and waited for Adrian. He came out and threw his stuff in the van before we checked out, and headed back out onto the road.