AN: Umm...enjoy?

Chapter 32

We stood outside of a Victorian home, with twinkling lights on the trees. It was way past the Yule time holiday.

"Kid, why are we at Christmas house? Are we picking up some plastic reindeers? We can put them into an empty field and go reindeer tipping."

That actually sounded somewhat amusing.

"This is my home, Bella," he said proudly. "I wanted it to be festive."

There were lights everywhere. They must have bought out Home Depot. "You succeeded. I have a yearning for Christmas cookies and nog."

He held my hand tightly with a sweaty grip. "This is a bad idea. I'll just take you to a movie."

"We might as well go in," I stated. I dragged him towards the door. "I'm starving."

Once I forced the kid onto the porch, the front door swung open. In front of us stood an older man wearing long blue robes covering his body. Perched on his head was a large wizard's hat. He swooped his arm, "We have been waiting for you to join us in the fair kingdom of Esmetung! Enter if ye are pure of..."

"Dad! I told you I wanted to ease her into it!" The kid was bright red.

"I thought you already told her! Hello, Bella. I'm Dr. Cullen. It is a pleasure to finally meet you." The man shook my hand. "Welcome to family game night! Help yourself to the cauldron of chili on the dining room table. Edward's mom calls it The Royal Gruel."

Oh.

Baseball Boy took me into a room filled with people in various costumes. It looked like I was at some twisted Renaissance Faire. Prisms were hanging from lamps. There was even some long haired man pretending to play a lute in the corner along with the music that was being piped in from the stereo.

The kid waved at him distractedly, "Hey, Uncle Aro."

The man was too transfixed by his "music" to return the favor.

The giant was wearing cardboard sandwich board that was colored with markers, crayons and tinfoil. On his legs were women's suntan shade pantyhose. He raised his plastic sword. "Greetings and salutations, Prince Ed! I see your corralled your Swan for the festivities. Huzzah!"

"What are you supposed to be?" I looked at the Giant's pantyhose. They left very little to the imagination.

"I am a brave knight!" He stated proudly.

"It's more like Court Jester," I quipped.

The shock that was stifling my sarcasm was lifting. I think my nose was getting used to the smell of some nasty incense they were burning. I saw the Blond Bob Marley sniffing the air. He probably felt like he was at home. My dictator friend gave me an apologetic smile and adjusted her crown. This was madness.

"Bella, I know this is odd, but..."

"Baby, is this the fair Isabella? We have been hearing all about you!" A woman exclaimed. She was dressed in a flowing Renaissance dress and crown. In her arms she was carrying a pile of clothing. "Welcome to our kingdom, dear."

Baseball Boy and Teeny Tiny Dictator were being raised by crazy people. It was all coming together like a puzzle.

"Mom, I really need to explain some things to Bella." The kid was a nervous wreck and his hands were sweating.

"It's Queen Mom, Prince Edward!" She gave a benevolent smile. "Take her to the guest bedroom. Here's your costumes."

I turned to him and scowled. "Costumes? Do I look like I want to be an extra from The Princess Bride or Legend?"

"I love Tom Cruise's portrayal of a hero in..." He started to explain pulling me up the stairs.

"I thought you only watched sports themed entertainment?"

We entered a room decorated with a floral motif. It was like a garden threw up in it. The kid closed the door and lead me to the bed and sat me down. He started pacing in front of me. "I might have not told you some things. I didn't want you to think I was a dork."

Well that ship had already sailed.

He continued, "I like fantasy. I read Game of Thrones and Dragon Lance."

"Well...this is unexpected," I stated, as he sat next to me tentatively. "That doesn't explain the Medieval Times theme restaurant in your family's living room."

"You see my parents have this side gig going on." The kid swallowed and grabbed my waist and buried his head in my neck, he muttered, "They run Dungeons and Dragons interactive game nights."

Well that was unexpected.