I watch blankly with tears blurring my vision as blood pours down my wrist. The water of the shower turns red. It slithers down the drain in cool designs.

Doesn't Glimmer know I'm only human? I have feelings!

I finish washing my body and I get out and wrap my wrist up. It's Friday night, and it's time for my annual escape.

I have the woods on the left side of my house, where my bedroom is, and I have a hideout in the forest. I have an extension cord plugged into the wall that leads to my hideout, and I have a refrigerator and a TV and a microwave and a light and a fan and I have a bed in there, too. The first time I went there, I stayed for a week and had the police looking for me. I came home and went to sleep in my own bed. Dad woke me up when he saw I was home and started questioning me and I told him not to worry about it and he kept arguing. He got called out to work though, as he is a police officer, and he never continued the argument when he got home. The second time I did it, the same thing happened, and the third, but I think Finn and Dad know a little bit about where I go, because the fourth time I left, they didn't call the cops.

I wrap my wrist up in white gauze and hide my blade again. Peeta took us home again, except for this time he didn't go home; he stayed because he is staying the night.

I'm not going to stay the night though. I don't work tomorrow, sadly, but Dad let me claim the garage for my own little gym so I have weights in there and I have a mat so I can do floor routines and we live down the street from a park and the bars there are pretty damn high, but I do have a beam at home too. Slowly, I pull on my sweats and my tank top and sit down on my bed. I normally wait until everyone goes to bed to leave. My bathroom is in my room.

Finn comes barging into my room with Peeta, and I see both of them look at my wrist.

"What happened to your wrist?" Finn demands.

Shit, I need to lie.

"I cut in on the bars at the gym." I reply coolly.

"Oh." Finn narrows his eyes. "I haven't seen you in action in a while. Why'd you stop teaching me?"

I did used to teach him gymnastics. I shrug. "What do you guys want?" I finally ask.

"We're ordering pizza." Peeta says. "What do you want on it?"

"I don't care. Just don't get peppers or onions. I hate both of them."

"Alright," Peeta says, and I see the way he's looking at my wrist that he doesn't buy the little I cut it on the bars at the gym thing. Finn doesn't either, but he won't say it. They walk out and shut the door.

I suppose I could leave now. I hear the shower in Finn's room start. I open my window and have one leg out when peeta walks in, and he stares at me. He's on the phone, but he frowns and hangs up. "What the hell are you doing?" Dad isn't home, he's working, and Finn is in the shower.

"Um…" I bite my lip. "I'm going out?"

"Where? Why can't you use the front door?"

"Because." I chew on my bottom lip. "Don't tell anyone, okay?"

He stares at me for a long time. "I know you didn't hurt yourself on the cars. Finnick knows too. Why do you let them win?"

"Don't tell anyone," I repeat, and then I hop down from my bedroom window on the second floor and land on the trampoline. We have a very large backyard and it's perfectly trimmed and we even have a nice garden. Honestly, Dad's wealthy, because my grandfather was a millionaire and when he died he passes all of his money down to Dad, so he pays for people to take care of the lawn and stuff, and Finn and I have nice phones and bedrooms. When I feel like Peeta isn't watching me, I run into the forest, following my trail of Christmas lights I lined around the trees all the way to my little hideout. I go in and shut the door, and get a soda from my fridge and I sit down on my bed.

And Peeta walks in. I stare at him. "You can't knock?"

He looks around. "What the hell is this?"

"This is my own place; you are welcome to leave whenever you want."

"Thanks, but I'll pass." He eyes me. "Why do you hide here?"

"Because sometimes I just need to get away. Can you leave please?"

"Katniss…" he hesitates. "This isn't you."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't. This is Glimmer. Glimmer has done this to you. Come back, Katniss. Let's go back to the house, okay? Don't shut yourself away like this. It's unhealthy."

"Peeta, just leave me alone. You don't know me. You know the old Katniss, the one from back when we were fourteen. I'm seventeen now. Things are different."

"Yes, now you are depressed and you harm yourself because of the false accusations made about you." He crosses his arms. "I'm not going to watch this happen to you. Things in your life are about to get very different. I'll do anything and everything in my power to bring back the Katniss that Finnick and I grew up with."

"Good luck. She's long gone."

"No she isn't." he insists. "She's in there somewhere and I'm going to find her if it's the last thing I do. Now, let's go."

"No, I don't want to leave. You can't tell anyone about my hiding place!" I stand up. "Please Peeta, promise me you won't tell anyone."

He sighs. "I won't tell. Now let's go."

…a…

Finn is standing in the living room in a pair of sweatpants with no shirt when we walk in the house. Peeta took me to Little Caesars to get the pizza so it didn't seem suspicious.

"Where'd you go?" he demands.

"To get the pizza…" Peeta says.

"You couldn't have invited me?" he follows us into the kitchen.

"You were in the shower. I thought it would be better if you had food to get out of the shower to."

Someone rings the doorbell and I walk over to get it, and when I see his familiar brown eyes, I slam the door shut again.

"What? Who is it?" Finn asks.

I'm about to start crying. "It's Marvel."