When we pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, Dimitri took a deep breath before pulling a wallet out of the console. I could tell his mind was in the same place mine was.
"I'll be right back." He said, never looking at me before he jumped out and went into the lobby. I watched out the windshield as raindrops slowly started hitting the glass; first slow, then a little harder. I loved the rain. I had since I was little. I always found wonder in it. I watched as the drops slid down the windshield. That's why I jumped when Dimitri opened the door. "We have a room." He said, simply. Starting the van and pulling around the backside of the building. He helped carry my things up to the room since we were on the second floor. It was obvious he didn't have much. Actually, I think he had one bag and even that wasn't full. I wondered if he was so sure that I'd come back that he packed that light. When he flicked on the light of the room, I was caught off guard to find two beds. In my mind, I'd been praying for one, even though I knew better with Dimitri. I carried my things to my bed, and set them down, sitting on the edge of my bed. I ran my hands through my hair, and took in my surroundings. Same old ugly wallpaper, same uncomfortable beds, just a different place with a different person. Dimitri sat down on his bed for a second, before he reached over and grabbed his duffle bag.
"I think I'm going to get a shower. Unless, you want to go first." He said, motioning to the bathroom. I shook my head.
"No, go ahead." I told him. He nodded and walked into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. I sighed and moved around the room, taking in everything. Why? Because I was that damn bored, and in order to keep myself from thinking of things I shouldn't be thinking about. I finally opened the door, and walked out onto the balcony. Just over the tree's, there was a lake. I hadn't noticed it when we came in, but then again, it could only be seen from the balcony. I watched as the rain made patterns in the murky water. I wasn't sure how long I'd been out here before I heard the door open behind me, and Dimitri stepped out.
"You alright?" He asked. I turned to him to find him in a white wife beater and a pair of cotton sleep pants.
"I'm fine." I said, quickly turning back to face the water. He walked over to the railing and stood beside me.
"Huh… I didn't even notice that when we came in." He said, observantly.
"Me either." I admitted. "It's beautiful."
"Sometimes… you don't really notice the beauty in things until you take a step back and actually look." He said. I knew we weren't talking about the lake anymore. We were talking about us now.
"I guess you're right." I murmured.
"Roza… I know that things aren't going to be easy. They're not going to be simple and carefree like most of the things in our life… but we'll still make it." He told me.
"When has anything in my life ever been simple or carefree? My best friends insane, I'm right there with her. I abandoned another one of my friends to his crazy psycho Aunt, my other best friend is dead, and I'm in love with my mentor who is seven years older than me. Where do you see simple and carefree in any of this?" I asked him. He chuckled.
"I guess you're right. Maybe simple and carefree is what you need right about now." He said. I couldn't stop the chill that went up my spine at his words. I sighed.
"I don't know what I need." I admitted. I looked out into the rain, and back to Dimitri. "I'm just going to go get a shower, and go to bed." I finally told him, before turning around and walking back into the room. He followed. I walked over to my bed, and picked up one of my bags, and started to unzip it. I hadn't even heard him move, or get closer to me, but when he murmured my name, he was right beside me. The tone of his voice caused me to look up, and the moment I did, I was lost in those deep brown eyes. He reached up and touched my face, but I couldn't take it anymore, and reached up to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me up against his body. My head kept screaming 'bad idea, bad idea.' But this time, I ignored it. He stepped forward, pushing my back up against the wall, holding me firmly there with his body. He bit my lower lip, as he removed his mouth from mine, trailing kisses down my jaw line, down my neck and back to my mouth. He pushed my bag off the bed, and threw me onto it. I'll admit, it was an aggressive gesture, but I found it dead sexy all the same. I ran my hands underneath his wife beater, pulling it off over his head. He made an agitated sound at the separation of his lips from mine. I ran my hands down his perfectly sculpted chest and stomach. I missed this. I missed it more than anything in the world. I could put on a front for everyone just to be able to keep this behind closed doors. I felt the goosebumps rise as my hands explored his torso. He pulled me up into a sitting position, pulling my t-shirt off over my head and tossing it to the ground. The moment my shirt was gone, he began trailing hot sensuous kisses down my chest, my stomach. My back arched slightly. I couldn't help the emotion he evoked in me. I trailed my hands back down his stomach to the draw string of his pajama pants. I untied them, and tugged at the waist band. I knew there was no way I'd ever get them off of him on my own, so I just smiled up at him.
"Off… now." I murmured. He chuckled slightly, his voice slightly deeper than normal.
"Your wish… my command." He pulled his sleep pants off, tossing them to the side. I couldn't help but giggle. He continued the assault of his lips on my body, as he started to unbutton my pants, and pull them off. The moment he undid them, it was like he'd flipped a light switch. We were going to be hulled up at the estate, training and training hard for the next month. We wouldn't have time for anything like this, and doing it now would only make me want it that much more and after that, I'd be leaving. I'd probably never see him again, so why was I letting myself give into this torture now? I was an idiot, and I was only tearing myself up even further. At the moment, his lips were on my stomach, so I shook my head.
"Dimitri." I murmured. I sat up on my elbows. The tone of my voice caused him to sit up. I could tell I'd killed his buzz. "We… we can't do this." I forced out. He looked disappointed, but he had no idea how hard it was for me to say that at this point. I wanted him to take me right here and now.
"Roza, don't do-." He started. I shook my head.
"I can't let this happen now, when I'm leaving in a little less than a month, Dimitri. This will only make that harder on the both of us. I don't know if I'll be able to handle being without you." I whispered. My voice was breaking, thinking about leaving him and going back to the academy.
"Roza, we'll figure that out when it gets here. A month is still a long way away. I can always say you're not ready enough yet, or you need more time and keep you hulled up at the estate." He teased. He started to press another kiss to my stomach, when I grabbed his face, preventing his lips from touching me.
"It doesn't work that way. Do you honestly think I can let this happen now, and then just be perfectly okay when it comes time for me to leave you? Dimitri, when I leave at the end of this month it could be good-bye for-." Dimitri stopped me before I could finish the whole word.
"No… it won't be forever. I didn't let you go this time; do you honestly think I'm going to let you go next time?" He asked me. I looked away.
"We don't have a choice anymore." I admitted. I hated being helpless, knowing that there was nothing I could do to stop what was coming. It was inevitable.
"We always have a choice, Roza. Listen to me; I'm not going to let you go that easily, alright? If you believe anything, believe that. The end of this month… it won't be the end for us." He assured me.
"What are you going to do? Leave the estate? Find a job closer to St. Vladimirs so you can-." I stopped when he looked away. That was exactly what he was planning. "Dimitri, I can't ask you to give all that up. You've worked too hard at the estate."
"But I'd give it all up for you, just like you'd give it all up for me. Roza, we're going to make it. Do you trust me?" He asked, pressing a kiss right above my navel. I didn't try and stop him this time. My eyes rolled back in my head this time as his tongue touched my skin.
"With everything." I answered. He smiled up at me, as he trailed kisses back up my body till his face was right over mine, our mouths only inches apart.
"Then don't deny us this. When we get back to the estate, that's reality… but right now, it's just you and me." He whispered. By the look in his eyes, I knew he meant every word. I just nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his mouth down to mine. I knew this time, there was no going back. It was going to happen again. He maneuvered my pants down, and off.
"How come I had to take your pants off?" He murmured into the crook of my neck. I couldn't help but laugh.
"You're more experienced. It's easier for you than it is for me." I whispered, teasing. He smiled as he pressed his lips back to mine. As the rest of our clothes were shed, everything became exactly what he said I needed, simple and carefree. It made me feel so normal, being with him like this. I'd always felt out of step my entire life, always having to deal with something, someone dying, someone going crazy, or me losing my mind myself, but here with him in this bland little hotel room, it was everything I needed in my life. Everything free and exciting about being alive. Our bodies soon were in perfect sync, like we always were when we were together. I swear he was the most beautiful thing in my world, and I wasn't ever going to be willing to give this up. Just like in our trainings, he remained in full control, which in this case, I didn't mind so much. When we trained, that was a different story. It was then I realized that any kind of physical activity I did with Dimitri, whether fighting, running, sparing, or sex… they were all always in perfect harmony, us never once falling out of rhythm. It was nice to know we had that sort of bond. I knew it was something beautiful, and something unbreakable. I dug my nails into his back, almost drawing blood as I came closer and closer to my release. Right before I would have crashed over that wall of ecstasy, he froze. I almost lost my mind. The pleasure coursing through my veins was staggering, but I was confused. I hadn't expected him to just… stop before I could-. I trailed the thought off when he spoke.
"Open your eyes, Roza… Look at me." He whispered, his voice deep and husky laced with that sexy Russian accent. It took a lot of effort to force my eyes open. Behind my lids I was seeing stars, but when my opened my eyes to his face, it was like staring into the night sky for the first time. "Don't look away." That's when he started moving again, slow, agonizingly slow. It was killing me, but I didn't object to it. He ran his hand up my arms, pinning them over my head. It was now I realized what he was doing. He was in full control now, and he wanted to watch my eyes as I came undone. I'll admit, it was hard to keep my eyes open, especially since they wanted to slam shut as I got closer and closer to the ledge he'd pulled me back over from just a few moments ago. Finally, my body convulsed, and I moaned his name, my eyes slamming shut. It wasn't long before he came undone above me. He stopped himself from collapsing onto me, by placing his hands on both sides of me, now that he'd given me back some control over my body. I smiled and reached up to touch his face. I swear, seeing him like this, at his most vulnerable is what made our relationship beautiful, because I knew no one else had ever seen him like this. Except maybe his ex-wife, which I'd only learned about today. Regardless, I pushed that thought away.
"I love you." I whispered, my voice shaking slightly. He stared down into my eyes, and smiled.
"Where have you been all of my life?"
"Hiding." I teased. I chuckled. He rolled over, placing his body next to mine. He laid an arm over my stomach, tracing patterns on my skin. My body was still trembling. I wasn't sure if it was from the amazing high I was still experiencing or if it was due to his hands on my skin.
"You're shaking." He pointed out. I smirked.
"I know." I said, shyly. He met my eyes for a second, and pressed the sweetest kiss to my lips. I swear it almost brought tears to my eyes. When he pulled away, he moved a piece of hair out of my face.
"How about that shower?"
"Didn't you already get one?" I asked him. He chuckled.
"Yeah, but I'm thinking I'm going to need another one." He admitted. I smirked. I rolled out of bed, and grabbed a change of clothes with him trailing behind me. He turned on the water and stepped in, pulling me in after him. I smiled as the water ran down his perfectly sculpted body. I swear he was like some kind of god.
"I don't really think it's fair." I said, out loud.
"What's not fair?" He asked, brow furrowed.
"That you are this perfect, and I get to keep you."
"How is that not fair?" He asked, still confused. I laughed.
"It's not fair to other people." I told him. He smirked and shook his head.
"I'm not really anything special."
"I'd have to agree. You're not anything special… You're perfect." I told him, pressing a kiss to a chest. He laughed.
"That's the word that comes to mind when I think of you." He murmured, running a hand down my bare body. I shuddered under his touch, causing him to smile. "I love making you do that."
"Of course." We ended up washing each other, which took an extremely long time considering we'd stop every few seconds to make-out. I wasn't complaining, but I was pretty water logged by the time we got out. I got dressed, and Dimitri wrapped a towel around him and headed out into the room to change. I put on my clothes, threw my hair up, and walked back out. He was laying across the other bed in just his cotton sleep pants. "Such a beautiful sight."
"Yeah, yeah." He muttered. I walked over and laid down beside him, laying my head on his chest. It felt so normal being here with him. Almost like we were a normal couple, who really didn't have to hide anything from anyone, who could just be together, despite everything, but in knew in just a few hours, I'd be back to reality, where I was living a lie. Regardless, I'd do it for him. We laid there in silence for awhile, neither of us saying anything before he finally looked down at me.
"Today… was that darkness at court when you were trying to go after Tatiana?" He asked. I looked up at him.
"I honestly don't know. It's hard to tell what's just my bad attitude, or what's darkness now a days." I admitted. He chuckled.
"It must be really hard to tell seeing as how you have a bad attitude all the time."
"You love my attitude, so shut up." I snapped playfully. He laughed and kissed my forehead.
"You're right. I do." He said. I rolled over, cuddling closer to him.
"Tomorrow… it's back to reality."
"But we don't have to worry about that till tomorrow." He promised. I just nodded.
"Tonight, it's just you and me." I whispered. He smirked.
"I have this feeling an extremely smart man told you that."
"Smart? Nah." He growled at me, causing me to giggle. "I love you."
"Love you too." He pressed his lips to my forehead again, and smiled. "Sweet dreams, my beautiful Roza."
"Sweet dreams." I whispered. And of course, no sooner than I closed my eyes was when Adrian showed up. I knew he'd come to me tonight, but I didn't think it'd be as soon as I fell asleep. I wondered how long he'd been waiting for me to pass out.
"Rose."
"Adrian… are you alright?" I asked. He nodded.
"I'm fine… just stuck for now."
"How is she going to tell you that you have to stay at Court? That is bullshit." I snapped. He shrugged.
"There isn't anything I can do, but when I get out of here, I'll be headed back to the estate hopefully." I shook my head.
"That's a bad idea. They'll look for you there. If you escape, that is." I admitted.
"Where am I gonna go then?" He asked. I thought for a minute before it came to me.
"Go to St. Vladimirs and ask to stay on campus. Tell them you're going to be helping Lissa with spirit, and they'll let you stay in one of the guest houses." I told him. He smiled.
"You're a fucking genius, Hathaway." He said. I laughed.
"Yeah, I'm very aware."
"So, how are things with you and Dimitri going?" He asked, walking towards me. My body tensed.
"Ehh, they're going." I said, dismissively. He chuckled, and looked around me.
"I'll say. You're aura is glowing." My face turned bright red. "Don't be embarrassed."
"Too late." I muttered. He chuckled.
"You're cute when you blush."
"I'm cute twenty four seven." I told him. He laughed.
"This is true." I sighed.
"Look, I should really get some sleep. I've got a long trip in-." He cut me off.
"You are asleep." He said.
"Adrian." I muttered. He laughed.
"Goodnight little dhampir." He murmured, before I fluttered back into my own dreams. Right now, I was in heaven, curled up in Dimitri's arms, but I knew tomorrow and every day after that would be a completely different story. A story I didn't want to continue reading.
A/N: Wooo, We made it to 40 chapters. Alright... I'm excited for the 40 mark, and I don't know why. Haha. Anyways, I hope you guys are enjoying. If the updates slack off, it's because I bought the book 50 Shades of Grey, and I'm fixing to start it, and I'm pretty sure Christian Grey is going to consume my life for atleast three days, but I'll be back ASAP. Love you guys so much, and remember to review and send to your friends and have them review. We're trying to reach a thousand, remember. Help me hit that mark please!