A/N: Hopefully that prologue wasn't too bad... Anyhow, I don't think I'll do any large editing yet. (I've seen stories written worse than this one on here. xDD; ) You guys caught me! Yes, I did make up that name for Acchan. I figured it would be lovely for them to call each other by their "real" names. Even though I read somewhere that 'Atsuko' was Acchan's real name... In this story you'll have to deal with my version of her name. xD Also! Remember how this is a romance/drama story? Well, here comes the first wave of drama. ;D
Knock, knock.
"Yuko?"
I wake up with a jerk at the muffled sound of my name being called and my eyes drift around the room for a moment. Do I really need to get out of bed?
Another knock and I roll my eyes, no more lazing around for me, then.
With a yawn I roll out of bed and walk over to the door, opening it and feeling annoyed when I have to force my lips into a smile at the sight of Nagisa, or rather Atsuko Maeda the fourteenth standing in front of me.
"Oh good, you're awake!" She smiles at me and I watch her lazily, still feeling rather tired. "You weren't at breakfast, so the girls and I were worried... "
Nagisa, (I can't call her Acchan, I just can't!) pauses and looks as if she wants to say something serious.
"Can I ask you something?" She wonders and I only nod in response.
It takes her a few seconds but she seems to gather her courage before speaking again, "I've noticed that more and more often you stare into space as if nothing else matters." My face drifts into a neutral expression as I look past the pink haired girl and to the wall behind her. So even she had noticed the change to my disposition. "And sometimes it feels as if you're even trying to avoid the rest of the group."
I've heard this before, Takamina and Chieri also came around to try and console me. While Takamina had been welcome, I couldn't say the exact same for the new Center Nova who now stood at position zero.
The two of them, Nagisa and Chieri had taken two things from me that were very important. One had taken the successor name of my love interest and the other had taken my only ticket back to my Acchan, my Namiko.
She seems to notice that I'm not really paying attention and lets out an exasperated sigh before finally asking the question on her mind. "I guess I was just wondering; are you alright, Yuko?" Hmm, that was a good question. Was I alright? I wasn't actually sure anymore.
Upon my return from the abyss, we had all been incredibly busy lending a helping hand to the restoration of Akibastar. Buildings that had been destroyed were steadily being rebuilt and the weather had been switched from gloomy darkness back to a typical sunshine. Things were going well, the concerts had resumed and DES was staying away for the time being.
But then there was the problem of my place as Center Nova. And while I was still trying extremely hard to increase my radiance and fulfill all the necessary requirements, it would all be in vain until Chieri disappeared. Then I would be free to take the spot again unless Nagisa beat me to it and I didn't intend for that to happen. Nagisa could have her chance after I had been given mine.
It would be a lie if I said that I didn't have some form of contempt for the two understudies, or rather the one understudy and new successor.
Eventually I realize that I've zoned out and Nagisa is still waiting for my answer.
"Don't worry about me. I just haven't been feeling so well. You'd better get away or the germs will creep up on you and make you sick too!" I grin impishly and reach out to grab her shoulders, shaking her just a little in mock concern before she laughs. "But seriously Nagisa, I'm fine. Just need a lot of rest and maybe some orange juice."
"That's good to hear." She smiles at me lightly and for the first time I truly realize the similarities between my Atsuko and her. It was no big question in my mind anymore why she had inherited the name.
Perhaps I could let go of my frustration at her. Just a little.
It hits me that I'm still holding onto her shoulders and I pull away, coughing awkwardly. "Well then! I should get dressed and make my way down to the kitchen. Maybe I'll be able to find a granola bar or something, unless you guys emptied the cupboards and ate those too." I start a show of pouting and she seems entertained by it, "Leaving nothing for poor little me. Yuko needs to starve, that's what the morning gossip was, wasn't it?!" I finish with a wink and grin at her, "See you later Acchan!" She nods thoughtfully at this and I retreat into my room, closing the door before anything else can be said.
Back in the safety and quiet of my room, I walk over to my window and pull the curtains apart.
As the sunshine hits my face, I close my eyes and let out a content sigh. Since practise wasn't until later this afternoon, I had time to wake up and spend the rest of the morning alone. Everyone else usually ate together and then they all ran off to do other things afterwards. So if I chose to go and have breakfast I would likely be alone, which was just fine by me.
Pacing around in my room for a short while, I decide to rummage through my closet and look for something stretchy to wear. By the time I got going it would probably be time for practise, so getting myself ready beforehand would be a time saver. When my arms are full I drop the clothing unceremoniously on the bed and then follow after it, lying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling.
I needed to fix my outer demeanour otherwise I was going to have tons more visitors knocking at my door and wondering if I was okay. To which I still had no answer. Would I ever have an answer? Who really knew.
As if to interrupt my thought process there is another knock at my door which makes me groan in annoyance. What now!? The strange thing is that no voice follows the knock. I sit up, stand up and then make my way over to the door once more. Who could it be this time? Another understudy? Or one of my fellow successors? Nagisa?
What awaits my eyes when I open the door is.. nothing. At least it was nothing until I look down. On the floor in front of my room someone had placed a tray of breakfast. Crouching down, my eyes travel over the steaming food and my stomach growls. Not wasting any more time, I pick up the tray and take it into my room, closing the door with the back of my foot.
I place the platter on my desk and sit down on my chair, staring at the food. There was a bowl of rice with a small piece of salmon and some vegetables sitting atop it and beside that was a small strawberry and cream filled tart. Finally there was also a clue as to who had prepared this for me, a glass of orange juice.
Grabbing the chopsticks that accompanied the meal, I dig in and make a mental note to thank Nagisa. She was being so nice to me and here I was, thinking about how she had stolen the name from my beloved. When in truth it had not been stolen, it had been rightly earned. And I was going to have to get used to that.
One day when I had vanished, when my picture was alongside previous Center Nova, when I was finally in the abyss with my Acchan, there would be a new Yuko Oshima. And she, whoever it might be, would become the tenth to hold that name. It was just something I needed to get used to.
But for now I held the name and it was mine.
Very soon I finish my breakfast and sit back on my chair, sipping the remainder of my orange juice. Was it about time to go yet? Eleven thirty, I still have an hour and a half to waste. That and I'm not even dressed yet.
It was probably time to remedy that.
I put my now empty glass down and saunter over to the bed where I had put my clothes only a short while ago.
Sitting down on the bed with my back to the window, I take off my pale green pajama top and pull on a comfortable sports bra which I then cover up with a loose t-shirt. Next are my matching pajama bottoms, those I replace with leggings and a short skirt.
A pair of comfy shoes later, I leave my room and pause just outside my door. For some reason my eyes drift over to the picture of Acchan and I grin at the smiling image, giving her a thumbs up. I still intended to do my best and that meant earning position zero.
Later, at practise, I give it my all as usual but notice from the corner of my eye that Takamina seems to be having difficulty. Is her old wound acting up again? The dance routine for Heavy Rotation ends and the team is given a quick break in order to catch our breaths. Kanata is quick to skip over to Takamina and I watch the two of them with a questioning expression. How can Takamina be so friendly with a girl who was bound to succeed her? The entire subject was still a mystery to me.
My thoughts cause me to look over at the other understudies. If I was to leave who would become Yuko Oshima the tenth? Would any of them even be able to rise up to the plate? Or would the name lay stagnant for an incredibly long amount of time? Sonata already had some of the ingredients, perhaps she would succeed me? Who knew.
I shake my head once I realize that I'm getting ahead of myself. After all, only time would tell what the future might bring.
Practise seems to be starting up again and I get into position the same as everyone else.
Before the music can even begin, Tsubasa steps into the room and knocks on the wall in order to gain everyone's attention.
"Sorry to interrupt but I need to borrow Yuko for a bit." Her expression doesn't seem the least bit happy and as I start to leave the room, I can feel all eyes are on me. But instead of showing my worry, I stand up straight and strut out of the room. "Keep going, girls!" I smile at them and wave, trying to keep an air of confidence around myself.
Tsubasa and I walk down the hall and to her office in silence, my eyes are focused straight ahead of me and my mind is wandering again. What could be wrong? It must have been extremely important if I had been pulled out of practise...
She opens the door for me and rubs her forehead with a sigh, "Take a seat Yuko, I have some news for you." My heart is pounding by that time but I do as she says and sit down in one of the chairs that grace the front of her desk. There is an awkward moment of silence as she closes the door and then makes her way to her seat behind the desk. As this happens, I simply watch as she adjusts her glasses and moves the mouse for her computer around.
This was beginning to feel very frightening...
"I received word from your parents." The blonde woman finally begins and I put my hands in my lap trying to keep them from shaking. "Your sister is very ill..." She states and my gut lurches, this was the news that I had been dreading. My little sister had always been a delicate child and had often gotten terribly sick while I was still at home. "I'm sending you to Nikkoustar so that you can spend time with her." I stand up, my eyes focused on the ground and both my hands in fists at my sides. I'm shaking but I know where all this is going. "And so that you can say goodbye if need be..."
My emotions threaten to take hold of me but I steady my breathing and nod. "Thank you... I'd like to go pack if that's alright." As I speak my eyes do not for one moment leave the floor.
"I think that would be best." The slightly older woman gets up from her chair as well and closes the distance between us, giving me a quick hug in an attempt to comfort me. Tsubasa steps away after a second but keeps one of her hands on my shoulder, "I've made arrangements for you to leave tomorrow morning. I will also have one of the understudies take your place in the next set of concerts."
My mouth is unable to form words and I simply nod. I back away from her then and turn around to leave. I need time to pack and to think.
The last message I had received from my parents had said that Sango was doing better and that she was always excited about seeing her big sister on the television. Then again I hadn't checked my messages since I had returned from the abyss.
What a failure of a big sister I was, I didn't even keep in touch with my own family.
Sure enough, after I get back to my room, I log onto the computer and find a dozen messages.
I carefully read each one, in the order they had been sent and bite my lip softly. How had I overlooked this?!
Slamming the mouse down hard on the desk, I stand up and pace across my room. My feet eventually take me to a certain place on the wall where a photo was stuck and I gaze at the smiling picture of my sister. Her hair is slightly darker than mine but she has the same pigtail as I do and that same devilish grin. As I look at her, my vision blurs and I begin to sob.
WHY!?
WHY WAS EVERYTHING IMPORTANT BEING TAKEN FROM ME?!
First Acchan and now my sister! Throughout my sobbing I also bang my fists on the wall repeatedly, bruising them with how much anger and sadness I was trying to let out. When the hurt on my hands becomes apparent, I leave my room, almost throwing the door shut behind me.
I need to be alone.
I need time to think about all of this.