I make awful things happen to good people...

Clint had thought it over a thousand times.

He still was pissed at Fury. Almost sixty years old that man is and he's still kicking the same amount of ass as when he first joined SHIELD. It's hard to even remember a time when Director Fury wasn't even Director Fury yet. But apparently, as old as he was, and as much as he knew Clint, Nick still took him off active field duty. He wouldn't just let his best agent go completely, no, just assigned him head of training.

And boy did he get a mouthful from the archer, even if it was for a good reason.

Clint still hadn't told anyone the real reason why he was taken off. Just mumbled something about getting old, slowing down. He would never tell his family that his brain lit up like a Christmas tree on the annual cancer scan. Some big ass terminal tumor decided that he looked good enough to suck the life out of. SHIELD's medical staff said he might get around eight months, possibly a year and a half with treatment.

But everyone knew Clint will refuse to live like that, being poked and prodded and always on some doctors chart. Might as well enjoy eight months he's got left.

Eight months.

At least he'll barely make it Phil's twenty first birthday. That would be nice. Clint got him to twenty one. That's more than he was actually hoping for, the man honestly thought that he wouldn't be able to get him anywhere, he couldn't help through high school, the social or the academic parts. Clint got his GED when he was eighteen, through SHIELD. Phillip never made it to that stage, never got that kid was hesitant about being recruited, Clint didn't blame him, he gave him the option of doing whatever he really wanted to, but the kid turned it down and joined SHIELD.

Clint never blamed Phil for never finishing school, the only reason that he didn't graduate was because he caused nearly seventeen fights, the last one he nearly killed the kid, all because they threw Mark in the swimming pool, held his head under. That was quite a PTSD episode. Oh, the beat down Phillip gave all five of those boys who were involved got him expelled his senior year. Clint was still deciding on whether to be angry or immensely proud of him.

He never cared that his son liked boys, never expected he would, with the whole 'living with the two gayest men in the planet' anyway. Man, was Phillip nervous that one night when Clint came home from Brazil and he wanted to tell him, poor kid was almost shaking. The archer laughed at the fact that he thought it was gonna be his son telling him that he got someone pregnant. He still felt a bit bad about having no idea. In his defense Tony did point out that Phil was 'the straightest gay kid ever.'

God damn, he won't get to see Amelia graduate from California State. She'd be done with freshman year next month, yeah, but that's no graduation. Clint had always been proud of her, taking a normal route. She said she's gonna move in with Abby when she graduates this year from the California University for the Arts.

Sometimes Clint is terrified that his girl is two thousand miles away from him. That anything could happen to her. He still worries about the Red Room, even if she's way too old for their program.

He glanced towards his desk on the side of his bedroom, knowing his little, black, leather bound book with everything he could get on Viktor Dubnocsky and Vladimir Erikson, the two men who ran-and if rumors are true still run-the Red Room was still in that bottom desk drawer.

He never told anyone that he had always planned on hunting down every single man that ever had a part in hurting Natasha, on controlling her every day until the day she died, and burning them alive. Those were the men who ripped her from her childhood, forced her to kill children when she was still one herself, just to survive. Those were the men who nearly made her give up her own babies, then herself, so they wouldn't kill the only person she actually ever let herself love. Yes, Clint was still hunting them, even after twelve years, he has almost everything on the Red Room but nothing on the leaders. It took up his life. And no one knows. He never wanted anyone to think that they were in that mess too.

He prays to god that Phillip or Amelia never find it.

He may burn it in his last days. If Clint's never going to let off the leash enough to finish this job.

The archer has kept so many secrets from these people who have only helped him. He wonders if they'll be angry when it gets really bad, and he'll finally just have to spit it out cause he won't be able to walk near the end. Tony will definitely be the first to figure it out. That'll be annoying.

"Hey Dad?" Phillip appeared in the doorway. "Are you alright? You've been in here for hours."

"Yeah." He said, no trace of the worry or anger he was just feeling. "Everything's fine."

Dammit me.. stop being evil to Clint.

Welp, two chapters in two days, that's good right?... No, they're depressing?... OK then...

It's all Perks of Being a Wallflower's fault. It makes me all emotional and I sob for an hour then write sad things.

Don't worry, I'll continue this eventually and it will be bad.

I love reviews!