"Peeta," I hold onto his hand so tightly I'm afraid of cutting off circulation. "I'm scared." He kisses me.
"It's okay. We'll leave again if things so amiss, okay baby?"
I wipe away the tears and nod. "Okay. I love you."
"I love you too." Peeta leaves me on the side of the road and drives down to his own house. I walk up to the door and walk inside. Finnick is in the living room and he looks miserable. Miranda is on the couch and Dad is sitting next to her.
The door clicks shut behind me and all of them look at me.
"Kitty!" Finn screams.
They start freaking out. Dad doesn't even seem angry with me and Miranda starts gushing about how much I've grown up and Finn gets on the phone and calls Johanna and Annie. I wonder why he didn't call Marvel.
Dad gets on the phone with Peeta's parents and the next thing we know the Mellark's, Masons and Cresta's are coming over for dinner. Annie comes through the door sobbing hysterically and throwing herself into my arms. Johanna's laughing at her when she comes in. Then the Mellark's come and Finn starts beating the shit out of Peeta.
Jo hugs me and Peeta and then the questions start.
"Alright," dad crosses his arms. "You're not in trouble." He adds. "First of all, where did you guys go, because you couldn't have gotten a house or something or a hotel, and anyone you went to would have ratted you out?"
I look at Peeta and he looks back at me. "Well we went to Iowa."
"Iowa? We had the worst winter. How did you survive it?"
I cover my mouth with my hand to keep from laughing. "Well...you know my hideout?"
"Yes." Dad says.
"We took it, and we had this building with the forest right behind it and the extension cord and we plugged the extension cord into the back of the building and we put the clubhouse in the forest and stayed there. We got foods that don't require cooking and we had my fan which has a heater." I shrug.
"You two are much smart than you are given credit for." Mrs. Mellark appraises.
I grin. I want to go to the gym so desperately. "Alright Katniss," Dad says. "Clove said that when you came home, if you came home, you could have your job back. I know you are absolutely dying to go to the gym. Dinner isn't for about three hours. Do you want me to drop you off and come pick you up for dinner?"
"Please?" I ask.
"Yes. Go and get dressed."
I run upstairs and strip naked, shower and then put on a white leotard and a pair of shorts and flip flops and I lie on my bed and just stare at the ceiling for a second, and then I accidentally end up falling asleep.
PEETA'S POV
I didn't expect everyone to be this happy about us coming home. Kat has been up in her room for a half hour.
"She hasn't been acting...depressed?" Haymitch asks.
"Not even a little bit." I reply.
"Then what is taking her so long?" He asks. "I hope she isn't cutting again."
"I'll go see what's up." Johanna walks upstairs. Less than a minute later she comes back down. "She took a shower, put on her leotard, her shorts and her flip flops and then fell asleep."
"She's going to be upset if she doesn't get to go to the gym." Haymitch disappears upstairs and comes back down with Katniss.
...8...
KATNISS'S POV
I'm sitting in my bedroom alone and I get this idea. I get out a fine point sharpie.
I know Peeta gets doubts on whether or not he loves me. I put lotion on my hands because the chalk is drying them out.
I'm going to give him a ton of long letters. There will be at least twenty of them.
I start the first one.
I have to tell you something...
Do you remember that day? Our first time? Remember you told me you loved me? You know what I realized? I can't go a day without thinking about you. I love you.
I put it in an in envelope and write:
Open when...
You need to know how much I love you
I seal it and start the next one.
I start getting more creative. They're terrible at first, but then I get to the last two three.
When I see your eyes, my stomach does a happy flip.
When I see you smile, my stomach does a happy flip.
When I hear you laugh, my stomach does a happy flip.
When I see you cry, my stomach does a sad flip.
When I see you in pain, it's like a stab in the chest.
I love you
I write the next one.
You have the most adorable eyes I could ever fall for and the cutest smile that takes my breath away. You have the ability to make me laugh every time you speak and whenever you look in my eyes it's hard to look away.
The next one takes a really long time to write, and this one is by far my favorite.
1.] I need to tell you a secret. Look at 5.
2.] The answer is look at 11.
3.] Don't get mad look at 15.
4.] Calm down don't be mad look at 13.
5.] First look at 2.
6.] Don't be that angry look at 12.
7.] I just wanted to say I love you.
8.] What I wanted to tell you is THE ANSWER IS ON 14
9.] Be patient look at 4.
10.] This time is the last time I am going to do this look at 7.
11.] I hope you're not mad when I say look at 6.
12.] Sorry look at 8.
13.] Don't get mad look at 10.
14.] I don't know how to say this...look at 3. :D
15.] You must be really mad look at number 9.
I seal the envelope with the letter.
Should I really give these to him?
I don't know. I feel nervous.
I leave them all seal on my desk and fall asleep.
...9...
I wake with a start by the creaking floorboards of my room. I sit up quickly, and let out a sigh of relief when I see it's only Peeta. "Sorry..." He bites his lip. "What are those?" He points to the envelopes on my desk.
PEETA'S POV
She looks at me and mumbles something and rolls over and I can tell by her breathing that she's asleep. I sit down next to her and wake her.
"Go away Peeta." She mumbles.
I frown. "What are the envelopes for?" I ask.
"They're yours now leave me alone! God, you are so fucking annoying!" She shouts at me.
"Geez, sorry." I get up and take the envelopes. I just wanted to come in and tell her I loved her, but I saw the envelopes and she was awake anyways so I asked.
I didn't realize that was a crime...
KATNISS'S POV
Dad is at work when I get up. Miranda is on the couch and Finn is out somewhere with Annie.
I run my fingers through my hair and sigh. I had a terrible dream.
Miranda looks at me. "Morning sleepy head." She smiles.
"Hi." I mutter. I raid the kitchen and settle with some coffee because we don't have fruit and I'm too lazy to go get some.
"What's wrong?" Miranda asks. "You look upset."
"I just had a bad dream and it's messing with my head."
"What happened?" She asks.
"Well I made these things for Peeta last night and I left them on my desk. He came over in my dream and was asking what they were for. I just got pissed and yelled at him to leave and he was annoying."
She stares at me for a moment. "Honey, that wasn't a dream. Peeta came over this morning to tell you something and you yelled at him. That was real."
I look at her. "I really yelled at him?" I ask. I've never done that before, not once ever.
"Yes." She says. I out my coffee down.
"Well I need to go apologize!"
"Maybe you should put a bra on first."
"No, I need to apologize right now!" I run out of he house, practically still sleeping and ring the doorbell. Peeta's brother looks at me and smirks. "You didn't even get dressed yet?"
"I need to talk to Peeta." I insist. He steps aside. "He's in his room."
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Mrs. Mellark warns after giving me a hug. I nod at her and walk down the hall to Peeta's room. I think about knocking but decide against it because I've seen every inch of him anyways. I walk in. He's staring at the ceiling.
"Rye I told you to stop asking what was wrong." Peeta snaps.
I stare at him for a moment. The envelopes are on the desk and he didn't open any of them. He isn't really supposed to yet anyways, until he needs to know I love him.
"Um..." I bite my lip. He looks at me and then sits up, and when our eyes lock, my stomach does a flip. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry! I was so out of it I thought it was a dream! Miranda told me it was real and I ran right over here. Peeta I'm so sorry. Please forgive me?"
He chuckles and stands up and opens his arms.
"You're so cute when you're worried." I walk into them, and I was freaking out so badly I am almost crying.
"I thought you hated me." I whisper.
"No. I was thinking about it, and you always get moody when someone wakes you up."
"Yeah I do. Okay, I'm going home. I just woke up like five minutes ago."
"Okay. I'll stop by later, okay?"
"Okay."
"I love you."
He smiles. "I love you too."
...8...
I'm scared.
We start school again.
Finn said Glimmer is a completely different person. He didn't give me the details but I didn't wait for them. It was ten thirty at night and I walked down to Peeta's house because I was flipping out. His parents talked Haymitch into letting me stay the night as long as we slept on the couch.
Now we're sitting in the school parking lot.
"It'll be okay." Peeta whispers.
"She won't do anything to you." Finn says. "You just wait." He gets out and even through the closed car, I hear him shout as he walks into the school "KITTY AND PEETA ARE BACK!" I force myself to get out of the car. I wear a blue ruffled crop top that crosses in the back and a white skintight skirt and wedges. Peeta talked me into the skirt because he said I have a nice ass and I need to show it off. He slings his arms around my shoulder. "Don't be nervous, okay? If she says anything I'll go at her, okay?"
"Okay." I mumble.
We walk inside the building. There's a whole group of people with Glimmer.
She and I lock eyes and I'm expecting something hateful to leave her mouth. "Katniss." She smiles. "How are you dear? Goodness, you are just so pretty!" She hugs me. My mouth is set straight and my eyebrows are raised and I'm just staring at her.
Peeta leans over and whispers, "I believe the correct response is thank you."
But I can't speak. It's like I'm broken.
Glimmer takes my hands. "Listen darling, everything I said about you was wrong, okay? Don't listen to any of it, okay? I'm sorry, okay?"
"Um...okay."
She looks at Peeta. "Hi." She smiles. "You are still so cute, but you aren't mine, and I respect that." She walks away.
What the fuck happened?
...8...
"Okay guys, today's songs are about bullying."
I look at Finn in confusion. "We sing at lunches now. Glimmer picks the theme and that's what we sing about."
"The whole lunchroom sings?" I ask.
"No, just the people who want to. Although...when people don't go sing, Glimmer picks. She always picks the people she bullied because she feels bad and she forces everyone to feign happiness."
"The theme is bullying." Annie reminds me.
"You should sing." Jo says.
"I don't sing."
"Bull." Peeta says. "I've lived with you for the past six months. You can sing."
"No I can't." I insist.
He stands up. "Katniss wants to sing!"
"What? No I don't!"
"Oh come on darling, it's okay if you can't sing. We support you!"
I sigh.
"You have to go up to the mini stage." Finn whispers.
"I'm going to get you back for this!" I hiss to Peeta. He rolls his eyes and I walk to the stage.
Wait, what was the theme?
"What am I supposed to do?" I ask.
"Just sing a song about bullying." Glimmer says.
"Peeta wants to sing next." I blurt.
"Okay, that's wonderful!" Glimmer says. I look at Peeta and smile sweetly. I don't even know what I'm going to sing.
I think for a moment and then it clicks.
Do you ever go to lunch with no one by your side
Cause the moment you arrive they all leave the table
Calling me everything but my name
Need I remind you again just call me Katniss
How would you feel if you running home crying
Lock yourself in your room, don't want anyone to see ya
While everyone's having fun outside, and you're telling yourself
I won't let it get to me no more
I don't wanna feel this way
I can't believe I let it go so far
No no, it's not okay
What do you know about me?
Do you wanna know what I think?
Mean girls, mean girls
I'm a just comb you outta my curls
Mean girls, mean girls
You no longer run my world
Mean girls, mean girls
I'm a just comb you outta my curls
How would you feel every time you go to school
Someone's looking at you weird calling you a loser
All these girls wearing bubble-gum pink
Guess I didn't get the memo
Cause they're laughing at my blue shirt
Well I hope you feeling good about you treating someone you know like a perfect stranger
Cause it's easier than standing by my side
Ohhh
I won't let it get to me no more
I don't wanna feel this way
I can't believe I let it go so far
No no, it's not okay
What do you know about me?
Do you wanna know what I think?
Mean girls, mean girls
I'm a just comb you outta my curls
Mean girls, mean girls
You no longer run my world
Who do you think you are
Loud mouth, cafeteria star
Maybe somebody was cruel to you
So you think that's what you're supposed to do
One day, it might be you
When you need a friend, but you no longer cool
When everyone leaves when you walk in the room
I just hope they forgive you
I won't let it get to me no more
I don't wanna feel this way
I can't believe I let it go so far
No no, it's not okay
What do you know about me?
Do you wanna know what I think?
Mean girls, mean girls
I'm a just comb you outta my curls
Mean girls, mean girls
You no longer run my world
Mean girls, mean girls
I'm a just comb you outta my curls
Mean girls, mean girls
You no longer run my world
Everyone cheers and I go back to my seat. Peeta kisses my cheek and gets up and walks to the stage.
Something tells me he wrote this song about me.
It's called invisible. (It's actually invisible by Hunter Hayes and then mean girls is by Rachel Crow.)
Crowded hallways are the loneliest places
For outcasts and rebels
Or anyone who just dares to be different
And you've been trying for so long
To find out where your place is
But in their narrow minds
There's no room for anyone who dares to do something different
Oh, but listen for a minute
Trust the one
Who's been where you are wishing all it was
Was sticks and stones
Those words cut deep but they don't mean you're all alone
And you're not invisible
Hear me out,
There's so much more to life than what you're feeling now
Someday you'll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible
Oh, invisible
So your confidence is quiet
To them quiet looks like weakness
But you don't have to fight it
'Cause you're strong enough to win without a war
Every heart has a rhythm
Let yours beat out so loudly
That everyone can hear it
Yeah, I promise you don't need to hide it anymore
Oh, and never be afraid of doing something different
Dare to be something more
Trust the one
Who's been where you are wishing all it was
Was sticks and stones
Yeah, the words cut deep but they don't mean you're all alone
And you're not invisible
Hear me out,
There's so much more of this life than what you're feeling now
And someday you'll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible
These labels that they give you
just 'cause they don't understand
If you look past this moment
You'll see you've got a friend
Waving a flag for who you are
And all you're gonna do
Yeah, so here's to you
And here's to anyone who's ever felt invisible
Yeah, and you're not invisible
Hear me out,
There's so much more to life than what you're feeling now
And someday you'll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible
It'll be invisible