AN: Here by popular demand...your turn Twiddler83 and I am Batman!

Chapter 45 (EPOV)

"This is literally going to be the best day ever!" Garrett exclaimed.

I wish I could feel that joyous. I stayed up way too late watching ESPN. I was sleepy and even though I knew the Celtics were going to lose I just had to torture myself by watching the replay of the game. It was like my life was the replay, because nothing ever changed. Wake up. Go to school. Go to baseball practice. Use my mom's sewing machine to make my wizard costume for our Dungeon and Dragons tournament. Finally, go to the sleep of the sounds of balls bouncing on television. Edward Cullen's perfect life. I hated it.

"I'm going to talk to her!" He exclaimed. Garrett was the most positive guy I know. He was also in love with Kate Hudson who talked really slow. I tried to ask her a question in trig and it took her ten minutes to answer me. She must be really relaxed. "Why are you so glum, chum?

We were sitting at the cluster of picnic tables outside of the cafeteria. It was the first day that wasn't cloudy and depressing. My mood should be positive like Garrett's but...

Emmett sat down heavily and pulled open a backpack filled with just his lunch. "Ed needs to get laid, Garrett."

"Edward Cullen is looking for love!" Garrett knew exactly how I felt.

"You two little girls should date each other..." He stared a a table a few feet away from us. "It's the new girl!"

I looked over and my heart started beating madly. Her face was like a delicate doll with lips made to be touching mine. Her hair seemed so soft that my fingers twitched to see if the locks felt like silk. I could get happily lost in the burnished umber that were her eyes. She was a...

I whispered, "She's the picture of beauty."

"She looks like a crotchety hobo." Emmett's observation was not appreciated. He started to eat his Italian Sub.

"She's the most beautiful hobo ever!" It was true, her clothing were ill fitting and tattered. I wonder if she would dislike me buying her new outfits? I noticed her tattered copy of A Clockwork Orange. I wonder if it was a lighthearted comedy that all girls liked. An Anne of Green Gables or one of those tales by Jane Austen? I should get a copy and we can read the story together. Our own private book club...those lips...mine...touching...

"That's Isabella Swan, the daughter of our esteemed police chief. I introduced myself to her this very morning. She literally ran the other way. I think she's shy," Garrett observed.

A shy delicate flower just waiting to be plucked and worshipped by a man like me. I wonder if she would like to see my Lord of the Rings dolls... I mean action figurines.

"Oh snap! I take back the hobo jab! That tiny girl in ugly clothes is awesome!" Emmett exclaimed. "Look at her coffee mug!"

It wasn't hers. World's Best Teacher was written on the white porcelain. It was Mr. Molina's. She must have borrowed it from the Teacher's Lounge,

"The little klepto stole it!" Emmett was overjoyed. "Let's keep her!"

I glared at him. "She's mine."

My friends looked at me in shock.

That's when I saw the school mean girl, Tanya approach my destiny. She tossed a book at the beautiful Bella. "What is that? I need to stop Tanya!""

"Dude, it's that porn book, 50 Shades of Grey. Ma likes to read it in her bedroom. There always grunting coming out of the room when she's in there. I think Harvey sneaks in there to get his belly rubbed," Emmett said with a shrug.

Harvey was Emmett's pet pot belly pig. It made sense. That pig was noisy.

Garrett watched as Bella looked at the book and at Tanya. "I think Isabella Swan will be fine."

I watched as Bella started to read out loud to a red faced and sweaty Tanya. I wondered if Tanya was getting a fever, she looked breathless. Then Bella started making hand movements that were making me get warm and I felt a little breathless. I wonder if the flu was going around school.

Bella started to chuckle. It was a lovely sight. I was instantly hard. This was so embarrassing! I wasn't watching women's tennis, after all.

Tanya stomped away and rubbing her chest. It was definitely a virus of some sort. I watched her read a little more and make a disgusted face like she was going to be sick. She threw the book into the nearest trash can.

That was when I saw her face. Bella wrinkled her nose and bit her lip. I exploded. It felt sticky.

"Whoa there, Moby Dick!" Emmett exclaimed. "There he blows!"

My future wife gave me a weird look and walked into school.

"Hey Edward Cullen, I think you might want to change before you introduce yourself to Isabella Swan." Garrett gave me a sympathetic look.

I could only hoped I had an extra pair of gym shorts.