AN: A couple of things... I love Honeybee Meadows stories! She's reposting Coupling and I highly recommend it. (I might be starting to post a story I'm writing for her. Very short chapters. She inspired me with a picture.)

Twiddler83 is a comedic genius! I Am Batman now has a Bella POV!

Chapter 49

My sea monkeys were not cooperating. I moved my fingers on the plastic container. "Dance, silly monkey, dance!"

"Bella, I think you might be scaring them," Baseball boy stated, as it did appear my sea monkeys were cowering in the corner. "Maybe if you speak gently to them. Soothing tones and all that. Maybe sing! I bet you'd like Uptown Girl, little buddy."

Damn it! One of those little twisted science experiments came up to his finger. Billy Joel loving cretins.

"You're disowned, Frodo." I glared at the tank. Those little bastards are mocking me. "Stupid brine shrimp are supposed to do tricks. The package lied."

My kid spun me around and lifted me onto the counter. His eyes were bright and it was unnerving how much I wanted to stare in them. "You named one after a character from Lord of the Rings?"

"I renamed all of them. They needed something more permanent. However, I must say I don't like how Legolas and Bilbo Baggins are acting. One of them is itching to get flushed."

"If I couldn't think I could love you even more, you did this." He put both hands on my face.

"Love?" I swallowed hard. He might have said it before, but truthfully I have selective hearing about such things. I should say something, right? He makes me feel tingly, but that could just be an allergic reaction to his AXE body wash. God, I hate those damn commercials. "I...I...feel...ugh..."

"Love. You feel love. Bella, you don't have to say it. I feel it between us." My kid kissed me. Slowly. I felt it all over. Love. Oh god. I'm such a chick.

I pulled away. "Don't have a duel with the evil cheerleader. I'm a big girl. I can knock some sense in that thick, delusional skull of hers. It was funny at first, because a duel with those foam fingers people wave at baseball games is hilarious. The thing is we all know, except for that bat shit crazy blonde, is that I would never leave you for her. It's just a waste of time when we can be playing tonsil hockey instead."

"Oh my girl..." He put his finger on my lips. "Get that scowl off your face. I didn't call you a baby or a fruit bat."

"I would like being called a fruit bat."

"That doesn't surprise me." He grinned. "I'm not going to fight Tanya. I would never hit a girl, even using a foam finger. I will just help her see the error of her ways."

"You're giving her too much credit. Reasonable is not an accurate description for her. A disturbed Pom Pom queen is a good description. She wouldn't hesitate to take off your head with a baton." I ran my fingers through his hair. "If she tries to hurt you, I will cram that foam finger up her ass."

"I know you would." Our lips met and I hated to admit that I might really be in love with this silly boy.

His wandering hands found my breasts and he started kneading them like bread dough. I really wanted him to taste that dough. I quickly unbuttoned my shirt and pushed his head down. I hoped that he learned his lesson and stopped regressing to infancy. My kid eagerly answered the call. I moaned and...

"Oh my eyes! Stop! That's my daughter! Oh for the love of all that's holy like the Mariners and beer, get your mouth off my daughter!" Chief Charlie yelled and covered his face with a dish towel.

My kid exclaimed, "Don't worry, sir! I'm going to marry her!"

"No!" I hissed, as I buttoned up my shirt.

"Do you want him to shoot me?"

It was tempting.