The Bear and the Dog

-October, 2186

"So, I have to ask, Commander, Why me?"

Messalina woke up with a sudden jolt, opening her eyes finding herself in the comfort of her bed as the stars streamed by overhead. Liara was asleep by her side, usually easily stirring but now uncharacteristically deep in sleep. The final confrontation with Kai Leng had obviously drained her and the anticipation they shared as they embarked to the rendezvous with the Fifth fleet had taken its toll.

If there was ever doubt that Messalina sometimes felt in her new body constructed by Cerberus, it grew scarce with each nightmare of Virmire. Ashley's voice still invaded her dreams, more frequently as of late. Messalina awoke from these nightmares drenched in sweat. She had never got on well with Ashley. She could barely recall a pleasant moment the two had conversed. But lately Ashley's voice hung over her head with dread.

Virmire had been a horrible ordeal.

She looked down at Liara who scrunched her nose bridge as if smelling something vile. Messalina was often amazed at what life brought, and it had fulfilled a small wish to have a beautiful Asari girlfriend. Messalina saw that a small strand of her hair had fallen out and settled on Liara's face. Gently, trying to to wake her she carefully pinched the strand away.

Kaidan had once told her that Ashley always looked up at Shepard as the Paragon of Humanity, a super-hero, a woman in tights. Messalina never felt like a hero. Not after the Skyllian Blitz, not after Ilos, and not even after Omega. She had always done her duty because it required doing. It was never about being a hero.

"Difficulty sleeping, Shepard?" Liara's eyes fluttered open, gazing up to Shepard as a hand gracefully traced along Messalina's arm.

"Just curious, Liara, do we have to wait three centuries to have kids?"

Liara nodded solemnly. "I'll just have to ask Miss Lawson to rebuild you again until I feel ready."

"Why can't I be the mother?"

Liara chuckled as she got up, covering her nakedness with the sheet. "Well frankly I never thought you'd want to be a mother."

"That's irritating." Messalina grumbled as she keyed the fish tank to release some food.

"Besides, between you and me, I'm the more nurturing person." Liara scoffed in mock derision.

"Okay, you can be the mother." Messalina shrugged. "I never liked Mothers, anyway."

"Come one, Shepard." Liara sighed. "What's really bothering you?"

"Just thinking," Messalina moved on to feed the hamster. For someone who lived her life alone on board a ship, Messalina's penchant for pets spoke volumes of the toll solitude brought to her.

"About... children?" Liara arched her eyebrows.

"Something like that." Messalina tossed a small rubber ball into the hamster cage, watching Boo jump at it savagely.

"Hmmm," Liara closed her eyes, concentrating on the psyche emanating from Shepard, and frowned. "Messalina," she admonished.

"What?" Messalina frowned defensively.

"Is that why you were asking about children?" Liara sighed. "Death?"

Messalina walked back to the edge of the bed. "I don't think I've ever processed all those deaths properly. Even after I was recovered, I've hardly had time to think about it."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I keep dreaming of Virmire, Liara."

"Oh, Shepard." Liara drew Messalina close to her in warm embrace.

- April, 2183

Messalina finally found time to smooth things out with Ashley as she made her way down to the cargo bay. With the addition of alien crew members, the cargo bay had become the place where most of her ground squad gravitated to. Ashley was cleaning out her weapons dutifully. It seemed to be almost a preoccupation for the Gunnery Chief, as she constantly set about cleaning everyone's firearms, except Wrex's, after each mission.

"Got some time?" Messalina approached cautiously.

"No," Ashley replied bluntly and continued to clean her weapons.

"We need to stop doing this, Ash." Messalina chided.

"You're letting aliens traipse around on the most advanced war ship in the Alliance. You scorn off Rear Admiral Mikhailovich who rightfully demands to inspect this vessel. You keep Krogan bounty hunters around the armory. And you seem to be actively flirting with that Asari." Ashley threw up her hands. "I don't even know who you are, now."

"Who do you think I am?" Messalina asked patiently.

"You're the goddamn hero of the Alliance. I've never met a Star of Terra awardee before. You're the beacon for all us space marine girls. And you turn out to be an alien sympathizer."

"Is that what I am? Alien sympathizer?"

Ashley folded her arms. "Don't call me a bigot for not sharing your fondness of aliens, Shepard."

"It's a big galaxy, Ash. We have to work with them."

"It's more like working for them." Ashley shook her head. ""Look, if you walk in the woods with your dog and get attacked by a bear, you'll let your dog get killed attacking the bear so you can run away and live. Because as much as you love your dog, he's not a human person."

"Please leave the animal-alien metaphor at the door, Williams."

"Don't you see? We're the dog, Shepard." Ashley glared, venomously. "The Council races will gladly sic us at any threat without a second thought. Because we're alien to them. And we humans have to look out for each other. Because, like it or not we're being suffocated under alien heel."

"The galaxy has seen thousands of years of cooperation between races-"

"Tell that to Wrex." Ashley shot back. She shook her head in frustration. "You're servile. Utterly, utterly passive, Shepard."

"You don't think I won't look out for you on the field?" Messalina stared at her. "You're my crew, Williams. I look out for my crew, alien or not."