Dark Paradise

Chapter 15 – Give You What You Like

"Please tell me I'm your one and only. Or lie, and say at least for tonight. I've got a brand new cure for lonely – and if you give me what I want. Then I'll give you what you like."

Walking away from them hadn't been as easy as he thought it would be. Sasuke knew that they weren't the same Naruto and Kakashi he'd spent time with in the "other world". But it turned out that it didn't matter to his goddamned feelings. What happened to the hate he felt? To his will to either destroy or rule over Konoha? To end Uzumaki Naruto?

"Regardless of what you were planning. I meant what I said, Sasuke."

Itachi had known exactly what would happen if Sasuke came back to this world, before he knew himself. What he felt was…deflated. All that focus, energy and fire on one thing for so many fucking years. Yes, he felt deflated and lost. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't go back to Konoha and sit around in an empty house, tainted by the memory of their voices that are no longer – and never will be – there again. And he couldn't go there and look at Sakura –

The instant her name crossed his mind, Sasuke stopped and with a frustrated growl, slammed his fist into the bark of a tree. It cracked and his knuckles split open on impact but he didn't even feel it.

"Do not think about her." He hissed, his breath leaving him in puffs of white in the cold. Sasuke had always believed that the jutsu was at fault for his attraction – physically and completely – to her. Of course, he'd also believed that if they ever returned, she would go back to being what she always was to him. Annoying and not even worth mentioning. And he'd felt that way after he woke up. Until she stepped into that room with only the walls confining them. Utterly alone. What in the hell had compelled him to kiss her? It had taken every ounce of strength in him to pull away, because her kisses were heaven but he hated everything about her and even when he went out of his way to avoid her, there she always was. Those green, green eyes finding him. Staring into him. And he wished she wouldn't. Sasuke wanted to never hear her voice again, never wanted her to look at him and most of all he wanted to make himself never look at her again. How can you feel a certain way about someone and hate them so completely at the same time? She was such a whole contradiction and it was one of the many things he hated about her. He hated her smell and her taste and her touch and that the last thing he heard before he lost everything for the second time was her worthless apology.

Sasuke continued to trudge through the thin layer of snow. He was beyond feeling cold or anything else at this point. He was just going forward because going back wasn't an option and death seemed like too easy an escape for Uchiha Sasuke.

x-x-x-x-

Sakura stared down at her hands – the memory of her wedding band already fading into nothingness, replaced by Sasuke's bloodstained face and his accusing eyes. She couldn't do it. The best thing she could do for him was to…leave him alone.

"I honestly didn't think you would give up this soon." Came the voice from behind her and Sakura stilled, even the tears on her cheeks seemed to stop before she spun around to face him.

It wasn't Sasuke. And honestly, why would it be? He hated her and that much was obvious. Even if she wished it wasn't.

No, it was Naruto in front of her. Her blue eyes sad, but determined.

"Yes." Sakura told him, "I'm giving up." She couldn't bring herself to say 'on Sasuke-kun', but she figured Naruto would get it. He did, and he shook his head, not sad anymore – but angry.

"What? You don't know anything about it, Naruto. So, I would appreciate it-"

"You're right, I don't know what happened in there." He snapped, "I keep thinking that if I was trapped too, maybe I could have stopped it, you know? I could have been the one you married, instead of him. I could have been there for you, but that's stupid, right? It's never me. It's always been Sasuke. No, Sakura-chan. I'm the one who's finally ready." Naruto crossed the space between them, and pulled Sakura into a tight hug. "I'm ready to let you go, Sakura-chan."

"Why?" she choked out, her arms tight at her sides as he held on to her.

"Because I saw the way Sasuke looked at you." He pulled away so he could look into her eyes.

"He never looks at me." Sakura whispered, lip quivering and her heart slamming painfully into her ribcage.

A look of confusion passed through his eyes before Naruto shook his head. "He's always looking at you, Sakura-chan. He's just better at hiding it than you are,"

Sakura shoved him away, shaking her head from side to side wildly. "No. Don't lie to me. I don't believe you. I can't."

"You're abandoning him, Sakura-chan, you have to see that."

"No!" Sakura cried, "Don't say this to me, he hates me. The best thing I can do for him is to-"

"To what? Leave him alone?!" Naruto asked, fully losing his temper. "He's always been alone! The Infinite Tsukuyomi gave him back something he lost – only to lose it again. What he needs right now isn't more loneliness, Sakura-chan! He needs you."

Sakura's head dropped and her shoulder slumped. She didn't want what Naruto was saying to make sense. She didn't want to go after Sasuke. Because she was afraid. Afraid of what he would say, afraid that it would break her forever.

"If you don't go after him, I will." Naruto said, pushing her away and in the direction Sasuke had left to.

Sakura looked at Naruto hard. "What am I supposed to do?"

"You're his wife, Sakura-chan. Do whatever you have to."

But that wasn't real, she wanted to say, it didn't really happen. But – it had happened. They had gotten married. She owed this one last time.

Sakura nodded only once, slowly and then she turned away from Naruto and started moving. Slowly at first, at a pace her legs could handle, and then faster and faster until she could see light footprints in the falling snow. Her legs became too shaky and she had to slow down, stumbling forward even when she wanted to fall. Her eyes kept scanning ahead, finding his disappearing footprints in the snow, specks of blood on a tree bark that he'd undoubtedly punched the hell out of. How was she so sure it was him? Sakura had no real answer for that. Maybe it was some metaphorical red string of fate that connected them. Or maybe that was bullshit and she just liked to think that she knew him. Whatever it was, she felt it. This was Sasuke. She didn't cry, and she told herself she wouldn't. Crying wasn't an option anymore, she'd cried enough. Sakura didn't even think over what she would say to him, because she didn't know. And she wouldn't – no matter how many days or weeks she had to think it over. She hoped that being there would be enough, that words wouldn't be necessary. But that was a lie. Sasuke would have a lot to say to her, she knew. And it would hurt. But she would take it, just like she took him leaving, staying away, nearly killing her and everything else. Sakura would survive it. Because she believed that what she had with Sasuke was more than just love. It had to be. Years of knowing each other had to count for something. And if he didn't love her, at least they still had that. Sakura started running again, despite protests from her legs. The snow started falling harder when night came, and no matter how fast she ran, she couldn't catch up with him his prints vanished just as her legs finally gave in and Sakura collapsed into the ice cold snow. She rolled onto her back, staring up at the falling snow, and despite her earlier promises not to cry. She did. With her eyes squeezed shut and her face crumpled and her sobs heaving through her chest. The snow soaked through her cloak and her hair and eventually all the way onto her skin. And when she opened her eyes again, to see something – anything, even if it was through her tears. He was crouching over her, his face inches from her own and giving no emotion away. She stopped crying abruptly and if she wasn't so numb from the cold, she would have felt it.

"That was stupid."

"What was?" Sakura croaked.

"Following me at a speed that you're in no condition to maintain."

Sakura swallowed and tried to sit up, but his hand – so warm – covered her shoulder and pushed her down.

"You shouldn't have followed me."

"But you knew I would. That's why you're here, isn't it?"

Sasuke's hand slipped from her and he stood. Sakura scrambled to her feet awkwardly. "You're going to walk away from me?!" she demanded to his back, and he didn't even pause.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura went after him, grabbing his cloak and pulling him back to her, but even though he yanked himself away from her – he did turn to face her.

"What else would I do?"

"Say something to me! Anything."

"Fine. I hate you. Are satisfied?"

Sakura paled, suddenly feeling the ice on her skin. She'd expected him to say it and she thought she was prepared to hear it. She wasn't. Not by a long shot.

"No. Not enough." Sakura replied, her voice sounding miles away.

"You ruined everything," he went on, the words seemingly coming easier now.

Sakura nodded, her eyes never leaving his.

"Wasn't I enough for you, Sakura?" for barely a moment, there was confusion on his face – as if he hadn't expected to say it, and then the emotion was gone.

"Of course you were."

"Liar."

Sakura swallowed, her eyes slipping away from his intense gaze.

"Don't follow me again." And then he turned away from her, but Sakura wasn't ready to let him go. This time she grabbed his arm and pulled him back to face her.

"Madara told me the truth."

"So what."

Sakura nearly dropped his arm in shock. She'd expected him to lie, to deny it…but not this. Not…like it didn't matter.

"I'm sure that proves it to you. Everything that happened between us wasn't real." He'd said. Not that he didn't love her, but that it hadn't been real.

"So…what?"

"It doesn't make a difference, Sakura. It never will. When will you listen? I can't stand you touching me!" he wretched his arm from her grasp roughly.

"This isn't about that!" she cried fiercely.

"What is it about then?" he grounded out stiffly.

"I don't want you to be alone again."

Sasuke laughed bitterly. "Isn't this fucking rich. Since you're the one who took everything away from me."

"I had to! You know that!"

At that, he looked absolutely furious, reaching out to grip her arm hard. "You didn't have to do anything, Sakura. You chose to do everything you did, and that's why I will never forgive you."

Sakura didn't even flinch on his painful grip. "You don't need to forgive me. Because I know that I don't deserve it. Just as you knew the Infinite Tsukuyomi wasn't real."

"That never mattered to me!" he was screaming now, his hand tightening around her. "I had them back! That's all I ever wanted! Why don't you understand that?!"

"I do understand, but I'm the one who had to make the hard decision! Because you refused to."

Sasuke's face twisted in anger, his fist tightening at his side.

"You want to hit me? Fine. Let's fight. At least then you'll be doing something." Sakura slammed her palm into his chest, and Sasuke flew back – his vice grip on her arm throwing her with him. They landed in the snow, several feet away, surprisingly – with Sasuke on top of her, as if he'd twisted them around – on instinct to block her from some unknown enemy, much like he'd done before.

They stayed like that for a long time. Sasuke stiff on top of her, not saying a word, not even looking at her, but unwilling to leave.

"I remember it," she whispered into the silence.

"What do you remember, Sakura?"

"You tried to protect me, right before we were sucked in. Do you remember?"

"No."

But she knew it was a lie. "Why would you do that?"

Sasuke's jaw clenched.

"Tell me why, Sasuke-kun?"

His eyes moved to meet her's slowly and when they did, he seemed to capture them and her soul in a second.

"I don't know. I didn't mean to."

"But you did. How long have you felt this way about me? I need to know." Her hands tightened around his shirt and Sasuke closed his eyes, cutting himself off from her completely.

"I could kill you. I should."

"I know. But, let me just have this then, one last time."

His eyes snapped open just as Sakura's hand slid around his neck and into his hair, he resisted her when she tried to pull him down.

"I know you hate me, Sasuke-kun. But I don't know how to show you that you're not alone other than this." And then she reached up and kissed him. He didn't kiss her back, not at all, but that didn't stop her, because this wasn't about him kissing her back. Both her arms went around him, hugging him to her. Sasuke pulled away quickly, like she'd burned him.

"I can't stand you kissing me." he said sounding strangled and breathless at the same time, but his eyes flipped down to her lips and his hands tightened in the snow on either side of her head as if he was bracing himself to get up and leave but just couldn't get that far. His face looking painfully torn as if he couldn't decide what he felt more, hate or the other certain feeling.

"Whatever you want," Sakura whispered, "I'll do whatever you want."

"Leave me alone."

Sakura's eyes filled with tears that spilled down the corners of her eyes. "Anything but that." Because she couldn't. Not anymore. Maybe not ever.

There was a tense moment in which he just looked at her, and then the fight seemed to drain out of him tense bit by bit. He let out a sharp breath through his nose, almost like a last defense. And then Sasuke leaned down, his lips brushing over her's not tentatively but like a wonderful defeat and then his lips opened over her's and he kissed her.

x-x-x-x

Firstly, apologies for no chapter last week. All my time went to the magazine which is now live! And I've finished my first novel, pretty excited all around!

This is one of my favorite chapters of this fic. I loved writing it for some reason.

I got some requests for Sasuke's POV. Will add some more in the next chapter!

Anyway! Read and Review!

Zana-Lee

xoxo