Chapter 5: Sachi's Past
"Sleep with a smile, and I will wake up with happy memories."
Those were the last things I heard before I go to sleep. It made me smile though. Because it sounded like those words you tell a kid when they're about to sleep or something. I didn't have a bad dream, but voices were running through my mind. They were like whispers and they were saying 'Make me remember'. Make me remember? What does that even mean? I felt the sun shine on my cheek which caused me to wake up. I slowly opened my eyes then covered my face with a pillow. Then I heard Sachi's little voice saying random stuff.
"Food! Lucy! Job! Mira! Clothes! Cana! Erza! Rent! Glasses! Training! Nat-" I stood up, rubbing my eyes. Why was she saying those random words. When I stood up, I saw her standing in front of her sticky posts. She stopped when she saw me wake up.
"G-gray! Good morning!" She walked towards me.
"Yeah.. You're up up early." I told her. She looked down then sat at the couch.
"Is there something wrong? Did I say anything?"
"I was up all night.. I couldn't sleep." Great. I slept well and had no bad dreams while a girl couldn't even sleep. How nice of me. I sat beside her.
"Why? Is there something bothering you?"
"Actually...yeah." She mumbled.
"What?"
"My memories..." She mumbled again. I didn't understand what she meant by her memories bothering her so I just shut my mouth.
"I was scared to lose my memories so I couldn't sleep.." She continued. Wait.. I think I'm getting this. 'Sleep with a smile and I will wake up with happy memories', sticky notes of things she shouldn't forget.. And her feeling scared to lose her memories...
"Is that why you have all those notes on your wall? And why you were saying those random stuff just a while ago?" My voice deepened.
"Y-yeah I guess so. But it's something I do every morning.. I read all those notes again and again before I leave the house and head to the guild." She does that everyday!?
"But, Sachi.. If you can't find your way home? How can you find your way to the guild?" I just realized it now. How exactly is that possible? She froze. Her eyes narrowed and her hands were a little shaky.
"I-I...don't kn-now... I just walk out of the house and I end up going there..." Woah. It's like magic.. But.. No need to worry about that. I should be glad that she finds her way to the guild. If she couldn't, then I'll have to live here! And I couldn't do that!
'You like her, Gray'
What!? I just heard Lyon's voice. What the hell's happening?ugh. Screw that Lyon's voice. Sachi. What's important is Sachi! She's forgetting a lot of stuff. This isn't good..
"Sachi. This is bad. Something's wrong about you.." I told her.
"What do you mean, Gray?"
"How you forget things.. It's not normal anymore.. You need notes to remember these little things.. You even have our names on it. So it just means that you could forget us if you didn't write it down. Get ready. Fast. We're going to Polyuchka."
"But i'm slow in getting ready.." As soon as I heard her say 'slow', I rushed to the bathroom.
Don't tell me that- My eyes narrowed as soon as I reached the bathroom. Notes. There are still notes in the bathroom! 'Soap-use it to clean your body!' 'Shampoo! It's the long white one. Put it on your hair!' No.. No. What's happening with her? I went back to the living room then pulled her.
"We have to leave. Sorry about this. But you have to trust me." She just nodded and let me pull her. We ran into the woods, towards Polyuchka's place.
"Hey! We need help! Please! This is important!" I knocked.
"What is it? You damned humans.." She opened the door.
"She's... The new girl in the guild.. She's forgetting things.. And it's bad. I don't think it's some normal thing anymore.. She-s got-she's got notes all over her house so she won't forget these little and simple stuff.. Could you?" I was catching my breathe. I didn't know why I'm in such a rush.
"I understand. Let her in.." She nodded then opened the door wide. She let me stay outside. I didn't know anything about what's happening with her. I just feel that something's not right. I sat on the ground with my fists together, rested on my knees as I placed my hands on my mouth. Soon, she opened the door. I stood up immediately and went close to the door.
"What?" I asked.
"She has... Mente Perdida.. it's-"
"What's that? Is it a sickness? What?" I said.
"Mente Perdida means Lost Mind. It's a case where the person slowly loses these little memories. Getting a lot worse every day. As she experiences more new things, it makes her forget things too. In a mtter of time.. She'll forget everything.." She said. What?! She'll.. Forget everything? Everything!? I clenched my fists tight. Before I knew it, tears were welling up my eyes. I rushed inside and saw Sachi sitting on the bed, crying. I dropped to my knees and cried silently on front of her.
"Sachi... It's all right... I'll do everything I can to help you with this.." I held her arms tight.
"Is there anyway to cure this?" I turned to polyuchka.
"Well, it's not included as a cure, but Love. If she could feel that she's loved, she wouldn't forget it.. Because, those things that she love, the people she love, they don't stay in her mind. It's in her heart.." As I heard this, I hugged Sachi tight. She wasn't saying anything. Right when she knew that she had this Mente Perdida. I tookher out, thinking that it would be better if it was just the two of us. We sat just by the river. She was leaning on me shoulder as she cried silently..
"Sachi.. Don't worry.. I swear.. I promise! I'll make you better. I'll... I'll love you! And I would never let you forget me! And the guild. You love the guild. That's why you don't forget it.. I'll ... I'll-"
"Gray.." She said my name in a weak voice.
"Thank you." She continued.
"Why are you thanking me? I haven't done anything yet!" I said.
"For telling me that you'll help me. That you would love me.. But-"
"I will! I will, Sachi.. Just wait... I will love you.." I hugged her Tight.
"You don't have to..." She said.
"What- what do you mean I don't have to? Even if I don't have to, I want to! And I swear! I will love you! I will love you Sachi! I will-"
"Stop.. Stop it.. I mean it.. You don't have to force yourself, Gray. You should love the person who's right for you.. Someone that didn't desperately need you to love her.. Someone that doesn't forget.. Someone who's not stu-" Ugh. She's bringing herself down again. I couldn't take what I'm hearing i just can't.. So I.. I kissed her. I kissed her to stop her from talking.. I held her chin and brushed my lips onto hers. I felt it. I know that her eyes were wide open. I know that she's surprised. But seconds later, she calmed down and let me kiss her. As soon as she did, I stopped and looked at her bright violet eyes.
"G-gray?" She raised her hands onto her mouth.
"I will love you Sachi.." I said.
"Don't.. I told you, you don't have to force yourself!" She turned away and cried harder.
"What's the point.. Of you loving me if.. If you just made yourself love me!? Forcing it doesn't do help Gray! And.. Even if.." She stopped.
"Sachi.."
"Even if.. Even if you don't love me.. I wouldn't forget you, Gray..not you.. Not you!" She said.
"What are you trying to tell me? I-"
"Gray. I... I love you Gray.." My eyes narrowed. She.. Loves me!? Agh! I just want to scream my heart out!how could I be so stupid!? Right from the start.. With Juvia.. I've always been so.. Dense! Stupid... Stupid me..
"Ever since you've been with me.. I liked you.. I remember everything.. Because you're already in my heart.. You're the first one that I remembered for so long.." What? What about her parents?
"I know you're thinking if there's no one in my past.. My mother died. My father.. I think.. I.. It's back home.. It's written there.. I want to let you know.. How my past happened.." She said. Without saying a word, I carried her on my back and led her home. As soon as we got in, she rushed to the wall and looked for it.
"H-here.." She pointed at the paper. Her hands were shaky.. It was larger than the other notes. It was torn from a notebook. I looked at Sachi then she nodded. I turned my head and started reading.
'Mom-died of sickness. Sickness is Cancer. Dad- I want to forget dad. But I have to remember what he did. He tried to molest me. When I tried to fight, he hit my arm with a stone. Remember the bandage on your arm. I ran away, headed to a new town. There I trained. Became strong. After a few years, I left to go to Magnolia.' My eyes narrowed. How could he? How could a father do that to his daughter!? I clenched my fist Then Sachi pointed on another note.
'I spent years trying to get to magnolia. I was always lost. It took me 7 years just to reach Magnolia. Magnolia-Fairy Tail :)' She drew a smiley beside it. That's why.. She loved Fairy Tail so much that she spent 7 whole years to get here! I turned to Sachi then held her arm with the bandage. I touched the bandage and ran my hands around it. That's why she doesn't like guys... That bastard was the person behind it. She nodded at me, telling me that I could take it off. We sat at the couch. She bit her lip before I removed the bandage. Maybe she was scared or something.
I found the tip and held it. She raised her arm on shoulder level so I could turn the bandage properly. I turned and turned. It became thinner and thinner. After a few more turns, the bandage was completely removed. Her arm was bad.. Seeing her arm makes you even ask how is is possible that she could use a sword.
There was a deep scar between where the muscles should be and where the bones are. The scar never healed. It was very bad. You could tell that the rock was big because of the depth of the scar. The center was pale, like it was almost out of blood. The paleness faded as it spread out. Her arm was very skinny too. When she saw it herself, she cried. Maybe she forgot how bad it was. She covered her mouth and cried harder. I bandaged it once more then let her calm down.
"That's.. Why.. You're the f-first, Gray.." She said.
"I'm s-sorry... I didn't mean to let you remember your horrible past.." I said.
"It's okay.. I was the one who insisted it.. And we both had to know.. Um.. Gray, you can leave me now.. I can take care of myself.." She wiped her tears and stood up.
"No." I said plainly.
"Gray? I told you that you don't have to! Why?! Why do you have to force yourself to me!? Why are you being so nice to me when you can't even tell me you love me!" She was screaming. I was speechless.. She was right.. Why did I want to do this? Why am I doing all of these for her? Why did I promise? Why did I take her to polyuchka? Why? Why!? When I don't even know why!? I think.. I can never find someone.. That doll.. Maybe.. I should just return it to Juvia.. I'm too stupid to love someone.. Why can't I be more sensitive?! I stood up.
"Sorry.. You're.. You're right.. I don't even know why.. I'll.. Go.. I'll tell the others in the guild about your sickness. You don't have to leave your house.. I'll tell them." I said.
"O-okay... But.. I'll be there tomorrow.. I just need time to breathe.." She looked away from me.
I looked down then left her house. Am I going to let her go again? Will I realize my true feelings when it's already too late? What is wrong with me? I ran into the forest as fast as I could. The sun was up. It was so hot. It's 12 in the afternoon. I tripped then rolled on the grass. All I heard was the gash of wind and the dry leaves breaking as I rolled on them. I stopped as soon as I hit a tree. i slowly stood up then got rid of the leaves on my body.
"AHHHHHHH! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!? CURSE THIS HEAD, CURSE THIS HEART! I CURSE EVERYTHING THAT I AM!" I kept on kicking the tree as I screamed. After that, I felt a little better. Removing that rage inside my chest.. I stayed for a couple of minutes then decided to go to the guild.
When I entered, all eyes were on me. I was dirty, I was soaked in tears and sweat. You couldn't even tell. I was a total mess. Once again, I made the whole guild fall to silence. Will this repeat until I ever become a smart guy? Would I always mess up my mind and my heart because of a girl?
"Gray-san..." I heard Buster's voice. I felt him tugging in my pants but I didn't see Him. I was just closing my eyes.
"Sachi is.. Losing her memories.."