AN: Yesterday was crazy! I'll try to post two today. :0)
Chapter 76 (EPOV)
Chief Swan was giving me the evil eye.
I was trying to pick up my darling Bella to take her to the movies and there he sat across from me cleaning a scary looking firearm.
I took a deep breath. "It's a really nice night, sir. They were calling for rain today on the news."
Bella's father just stared at me. It was frightening.
When Bella called me about double dating with Angela and James, I was ecstatic. She usually prefers to sit on the couch, watch television and eat junk food. Sometimes, if I was lucky, we'd make out.
I think I would be happier being tagged out in the big game then fearing for my life.
"Fuck Edward Cullen! Fuckety, fuck Edward Cullen!" Bella's bird squawked.
Oh no! That horrible cursing parrot! No wonder pirates chose them as pets!
"Quiet now, Annie Oakley," Chief Swan said to the bird.
The bird squawked back, "Chief Swan! Top cop!"
"Good, Annie Oakley," he said to the bird. He was smiling at it. Then that smile turned upside down and he glared at me. "Son, are you planning on fornicating with my child."
I squeezed my hands together and squeaked, "No, sir!"
I was, but I liked being alive more than admitting my intentions towards his daughter.
"Annie Oakley doesn't think that's the case."
I was going to kill Emmett for teaching that stupid bird to say that. "The parrot is mistaken, sir. It's Emmett's fault."
"Hmm..." He was playing with his mustache. It was terrifying. "I don't need grandchildren at the moment, Edward Cullen. Annie Oakley and the sea monkeys are quite enough."
"Yes, sir!"
Chief Swan was going murder me and bury me in a shallow grave in the forest.
Bella clomped down the stairs loudly. Scowling, she said, "Let's get this over with."
I stood up quickly. "Great idea, Bella!"
"Remember our talk, son." He waved his gun at me.
"Stop scaring him," Bella admonished. As she pulled me towards the door, she called back to him. "Don't worry, Daddy. My kid always keeps it wrapped up."
I was a dead man.