Hey, everyone. Here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I must admit that you almost didn't get this chapter today as I've felt off all weekend. It's not natural to sleep twelve hours and still feel tired. Luckily, I had a Lucozade and have perked up a bit so I was able to do this chapter for you all. This is just a nice little chapter where we go more into Reid's emotions and his memories, you'll also find that Garcia isn't the only one who Reid trusts a lot. Enjoy and I hope to hear from you all.

Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're awesome and I just want give you all a giant bear hug! Thank you!

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All mistakes are my own

A few days later

Reid sat in the SUV as the others put all the things Garcia had brought to the hospital in the back, he looked out of the window and watched as some people left the hospital with a smile on their face while some left with red eyes and grief-stricken hearts. He didn't know how to feel, he didn't feel like himself and he hadn't felt like himself for a very long time, he wasn't sure the man he had once been existed anymore. That man got beaten and forced upon so many times that he had crawled into a dark abyss and stayed there. His stomach still hurt and he knew it would for a some time. He came out of his daydreaming as Garcia slid into the backseat and sat next to him.

"Are you okay?" Garcia asked gently.

"Not really," he admitted. "I don't think I'll be okay for a while. Am I going home?"

"Your going to stay with me," she smiled. "We all thought that it'd be better for you stay with one of us till you feel better."

"I don't want to become a burden."

"You could never be a burden. I've got the next week off work and I'm going to make you smile all the time. Everyone wants to help you get better, especially Morgan, he tracked down your storage locker and he's bringing some of your things to my apartment."

"It's been a while since I've seen my things."

"I know," she said, stroking some hair behind his ears. "Don't worry, I told him to bring all your favourite things."

"Garcia, I want to find a new apartment, I can't go back there after everything he did. There are so many memories there and I don't want a reminder of them everyday."

"When you're better we can go apartment hunting and find you somewhere with a wonderful view."

"Thanks, Garcia."


Later that night

Morgan finished bringing in the last box from the car, he looked over to the couch and found Reid sleeping peacefully there. He walked over and stood above him.

"He's not going anywhere," Garcia said quietly. Morgan looked up at her and gave her a gentle smile.

"I know," he sighed before walking over to her, they walked into the kitchen together. "I just feel so guilty for not protecting him. Garcia, we had dinner while he got raped, I was right there and I didn't stop it."

"Morgan, he said himself that he hid it. He said not to blame yourself for what happened."

"How can I not feel guilty? He can tell me not to feel this way all he wants but I can't ever forget that distant look he used to have and the haunted one that he has now. I asked him what was wrong the day of Henry's birthday, he tensed up at my touch and he argued with me when I tried to talk to him. I went to check on him that night because I knew that something was wrong and I wanted to sort things out here and then."

"You feel guilty for not being there for him, Morgan, but you were there the one moment you really needed to be . Without you going and checking on him, he wouldn't be here. He wouldn't be sleeping on my couch now, instead he would be in a grave and we would all feel nothing but an empty space in our hearts which he fills. You saved him the night Martin stabbed him and left him for dead, you were there for him, Morgan and trust me, I know you'll be there for him for as long as he needs you and beyond. I feel guilty for not realising sooner what was going on. If I had known, I would have gone with a knife and cut Martin's junk off."

"You know, Garcia, you have a wonderful way of making people feel better."

"Why do you think he's staying with me?" she laughed gently before touching his face. "Don't worry, he'll be himself again in no time."

"He'll be something in no time but I'm not sure he'll ever be himself again."


He slept gently and found himself haunted by memories of his past, both good and bad.


"Martin, stop!" Reid giggled as Martin carried him up the stairs to the apartment over his shoulder, Martin carried him in and put him down on the table. Martin rushed back and closed the apartment door before coming back and climbing on the table too. They kissed each other and Reid felt wonderful after the night they had gone for dinner. Martin began undoing his belt when they hear a creak and then a loud cracking noise. They rolled to the floor in a fit of laughter as the table collapsed beneath them.

"I love you, Spencer," Martin said stroking Reid's cheek.

"I love you too," he grinned before grabbing Martin's tie, pulling him down and kissing him.


He stayed on the couch as Martin came into the apartment, he looked to the door and watched as he stumbled putting his coat up. Switching off the television, Reid made his way off the couch and tried to go into the kitchen. A hand reached out and grabbed his wrist. "Where d-do you think you're go-going?" Martin slurred as he pulled Reid close to him and planted a sloppy kiss to his cheek.

"Martin, I'm just getting some water for you, you're drunk."

"I had a few drinks," Martin giggled before putting his hands around Reid's hips and lifted him up. He panicked as Martin pinned him against the wall and kissed him again.

"Martin, please stop. You're drunk and you need some water to clear your head."

"I know exactly what I want to do."

Martin brought him away from the wall and laid him down on the couch. "I love you so much, Spencer. You're just the most wonderful man in the world. I'm so afraid of losing you. You'll never leave me, promise me that you'll never leave me."

"I'll never leave you, Martin, you know I won't."

"You'll miss the good stuff that I give you."

Reid squirmed under his touch as Martin sloppily put his hand down his trousers. Martin turned him over and took down his pyjama bottoms, a hand came over his mouth and he screamed as Martin began, not preparing him or being gentle.

"Shhh...just enjoy it," Martin slurred. "I know you always like it rough."

He cried as Martin grabbed his hip with one hand in a hurtful grip and continued.


He woke up and found himself surrounded in a low light, he looked around the room and found himself in Garcia's spare room. He looked outside the window and found it was now dark. He didn't think he had slept that long. Slowly, he got out of bed and made his way into the hall. He stopped when he heard voices coming from the living room. He listened as they continued to talk

"Morgan, he said himself that he was happy you didn't kill Martin," Garcia said.

"I know but when I had the gun to his head, I just imagined what that night in the car must have been like for Reid. We weren't there for a week after that. We all know he would come into work with an arrow through his hand before call in sick, yet we all thought nothing of it, I should have killed that bastard at the building site. Part of me worries that Reid has some strange sense of battered person syndrome. He said he was happy because he didn't want me to turn in a killer. What if he was happy for other reasons?"

Reid felt a flare of anger inside him.

"Don't be stupid, Morgan. I've never understood this about you two, he didn't want you to kill Martin because he knows how deep this is for you too. I know it's not the same as Buford but you understand how much it hurts being forced to do something you don't want to do. When you take down an unsub it's different, you shoot to save lives and to stop a threat. You stopped Martin when you had him pinned to the floor, he wasn't a threat. Reid didn't want you to kill him because you're a kind man and he didn't want to taint the kindness with Martin's blood. I do think that Reid has some aspects of battered person syndrome but he doesn't love Martin."

"Garcia, he did once and that loves just doesn't disappear."

"It didn't disappear," she said. "It turned to pain, horror and fear. Reid doesn't love Martin anymore, he did once but that got destroyed on that horrible night in the car."

Reid began to cry as he listened, every time he thought he couldn't cry anymore, he found more tears. He had never really thought about having battered person syndrome but he did know he had it. He thought the violence and abuse was his fault sometimes, he blamed Martin sometimes but often had thoughts of where he blamed himself. During the relationship he had feared for Henry's safety and remained in the abusive relationship to keep him safe and he had always seen Martin as this all-powerful monster who couldn't get hurt. He had adopted these beliefs during the relationship and he knew he had other symptoms of the syndrome. He had grown to hate his body, had avoided people and other things in attempts to get Martin to stop hurting him.

"Kid, we can hear you crying," Morgan called. "Come in here."

He walked into the living room and sat on the couch, sitting between both of them. Morgan went to get up but Reid leaned against him, surprising both Morgan and Garcia. Morgan put his arms around him carefully. He thought Reid didn't like men being around him. "Kid, I thought you didn't like men being around you."

"You understand, Morgan. You know how frightened I was every time he raped me and I know you'll protect me. I don't love him anymore but I'll always fear him."

"I'll protect you, don't worry about that," Morgan said.

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