"Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have, so to speak, pawned a part of their narcissism."- Sigmund Freud
"There ! You look great, I don't know what you were so worried about. If you get any hotter, it'll be me you'll be dealing with tonight." Fang said, sprawled out on my bed, winking at me.
After our conversation, Fang had decided to accompany me home, to help me find something suitable to wear. I didn't decline, seeing as how it had been a while since I'd been out, and had no idea how to comport myself in such a situation.
In the dark depths of my wardrobe, she'd managed to find a very old black dress. I didn't actually think she was serious before. That was until she practically started undressing me herself.
I stared at my attire in the mirror. To be honest, I did look pretty good, even though I would never admit to Fang, not wanting to add to her already blooming ego and narcissistic manners. Classy, yet feminine ; it had a collar and a short billowy skirt. Fang had persuaded me to tie by hair up into a messy ponytail, saying it made me look like less of a bitch. I sincerely hoped it would suffice and please my bandanna sporting target.
"Well... wish me luck !" I smiled back at my friend as I left the room.
"Good luck... Now I don't want you staying out too late young lady ! Call me if you run into any trouble." She chuckled amicably before throwing me my cell phone.
"I don't look for trouble. I am trouble."
I gave myself one last glance, persuaded that this night could only end badly.
I arrived swiftly at the pier. The music was loud, the people were sweaty. Everyone was jumping and grinding to the beat of the songs. Seeing as how I didn't have the most experience, I decided to follow the crowd and made my way through the sea of bouncing chests and cheap cologne. I flashed a light, sarcastic smile to the couple of rowdy guys who began to dance with me, and headed faster towards the bar on the other side. The flickering lights began to make me nauseous. It didn't take me long to realize that I was way out of my depth.
I sat down on one of the barstools available, enabling me to think over my hazy strategy. I had my pick of seating, as it was only me and I few middle-aged women straying from the action. They eyed me up and down before scoffing into their cocktails. Needless to say, I felt old. I ordered a beverage, not wanting to seem out of place, and rested my face on my hand, sighing.
A little under a minute of my sulking, someone had placed their hand on my shoulder.
"What are you doing here all alone ?" His voice was husky.
My heart raced as I attempted to turn around, hoping the fool I was chasing had just made my job a whole lot easier.
He hadn't.
Some sweaty oaf was staring me up and down, almost salivating while staring down at my chest, orbs twinkling, palm tightening on my shoulder.
"I'm waiting for my boyfriend." I said coldly before returning to my drink. He walked away. I knew I wouldn't be seeing him again tonight.
"You don't have a boyfriend, do you ?" A voice shot out from my right.
I pivoted my head and saw a man staring at me, glassy eyed. I remained silent, figuring it futile to answer.
"Trust me, I won't bite. Oh wait, you think I'm hitting on you..." He laughed quietly to himself. "Don't worry, this isn't my scene either."
I analyzed him through the corner of my eye. Mid-forties. Laugh-lines. Judging by his uniform which he had carelessly left on, in the Air forces.
I glanced at him momentarily.
"So what's your deal ?" My tone expressed more angst than I'd planned.
He chuckled once again, and showed me a picture in his wallet. It was a photo of a young boy, probably six or so.
"Dahj... My son. My wife just left me and took him with her. So now I'm drowning my sorrows." He uttered, raising his glass.
"I see." I returned to my drink. Personal problems weren't any interest to me, and I didn't care for comforting others. The conversation had already grew tiring.
"What about you ?" He started the conversation up again, much to my dismay.
I sighed. "I'm... looking for someone."
"Aren't we all ? It's either someone or something..." He looked away. "Promise me though, you won't spend your hole life just looking. Because, take it from someone who knows, it can be stolen from you in a flash." He snapped his fingers in front of my eyes. "It's not all sugar and rainbows but... try to be happy, smile. It won't kill you."
"Okay." I mouthed indifferently and rolled my eyes.
"You're not very sociable are you ?"
I began to get agitated, tempted to escape the interrogation I was now submitted to. I decided to answer briefly, buying myself some time before I'd need to face more disappointment on my journey.
"I don't see a reason to be, especially not to strangers." I glared at him.
"Ouch. As I said, I don't bite... But I'm scared you will." He widened his chocolate eyes ironically.
"Yeah, I'd watch out." I broke eye contact and began sipping my drink slowly.
"Threats ? Ah, I see. You want to be left alone. I can take a hint." He stretched his arms out and yawned. " I won't stay where I'm not wanted".
He mumbled something about being drunk before rising in a clumsy manner from his barstool.
"It was nice to me you." He said, from over my shoulder.
"And pointless to meet you." I whispered back.
He laughed once more before jotting off. I swear I heard a faint chirp from his hair as he did.
I was growing more and more frustrated by my lack of success, and the few drinks I had weren't contributing to my pending triumph. I waited a while, sobering up slightly and decided once more to venture out into the madness.
From afar, I noticed a second set of hallucinating flashes from the other side of the beach. I would need to cross the sand in order to arrive at my destination point, but thought it would help raise moral if I stretched my legs.
I stepped on the arid ashes. It took me a while before realizing that the lights were further away than I had thought. I had never contemplated how vast Bodhum beach truly was. Seeing how far I had come, I decided to rove further. It wasn't in my nature to quit, and I certainly loathed the thought of coming home to a mocking Fang and a sea of arrogant remarks.
The night grew darker as I wandered on the beach. My sole company, the ostinato of soft waves as they fled the ocean. Without the natural light from the sky, I would have regretfully been lost. I concentrated on the goal ahead, all the while concerned by my seemingly never ending trek.
Suddenly I spotted a silhouette in the distance, resting on the sand. Adrenaline rushed through me, heightening my senses, making me brutally aware of my surroundings. The chill in the air became more distinct. The sound of the waves, like avalanches.
Frolicking on the beach alone at night was more than a strange habit. I kept my guard up, treading lightly, hesitantly as I approached the somber figure.
I could feel the breeze inciting me forth. I attempted to keep calm but failed as my heart pounded faster, cheeks flushed. I thanked the night for the mask it set on my face. The back of my neck tingled and my hands became humid. My mind nefast as it pondered without reason.
I was now only a couple of heartbeats away from it. I heard it's voice as he began humming a sweet song. He was a male, that I knew.
I took one more step, before understanding the situation I found myself in.
The beating in my chest froze as I heard him utter a single delicate word under the moonlight.
"Serah ?"