... UH SOOOOO...yeah, it's longer than I thought lol Shinji had no idea what waves are so I'm telling all of you now. When a black man isn't bald, he usually has a short cut or a fade. When their hair is short like it usually is, there are waves on the top of their head. A lot of the time, like my family did, if they didn't have a freakin durag they had their hard brush or a hand brushing the waves forward. I touched my dads head or messed with his waves, best believe I got the crap slapped outta my hand lol. So now you know if you didn't.

This is the Beta-d version. Sorry about that :D

CH5

Sanford was sitting on top of the living room table, staring intently at the two adults. They were both showing signs of nervousness and discomfort. Spencer was fiddling with the buttons on his cardigan, his watch jingling with each movement. Darius was constantly touching his face, scratching his nose, rubbing the back of his head, straightening out his waves, looking everywhere but his son.

"Why do you guys always leave me out?" Sanford sounded a little sad, his eyes still watching both men intently, like that of a lion watching its prey.

"W-well, Sanford, sometimes adults have to discuss-"

"It's not fair. Spencer's my friend too." He glared at his father who immediately shut his mouth.

Trying to think of a compromise, Spencer smiled. "How about we go to the park and then spend the rest of the night in the master room, just you and me. We can leave Darius out here all by himself and we can watch movies, or TV, or just talk. Okay?"

The seven year old seemed to be contemplating this option. He folded his arms and closed his eyes. "Fine," he said, hopping off of the table and grabbing Spencer by the arm. "We're going, daddy."

Darius' eyes went wide. "Are you guys serious? Now?! It's like, three o clock! What the hell am I supposed do for hours all by myself?"

Spencer held in a laugh. "We'll bring you back some ice cream," he said, picking up his messenger bag as Sanford put his shoes on.

"Only if you're good and don't bother us." Sanford was determined for it to be just him and his friend.

"Fine. I'll be all by myself, lonesome, scared, sad!" He exaggerated as he followed them into the hall until they closed the door in his face. "I see how y'all are!"

The brunette took Sanford to the park closest to them. He had lead him to the playground and agreed to build a sand castle with the young boy. After creating a magnificent work of art with water from the fountain and the sand box, they made their way to the jungle gym. Uncomfortable with the amount of sand on him, Spencer sat still on a bench and dusted himself off while Sanford took to sliding, swinging and climbing. After about an hour of exhausting physical activity, Sanford ran to Spencer with an idea.

"We should get ice cream… and not get any for daddy."

Spencer laughed as he gathered his things. "Or we can get ice cream from the specialty store for us and just bring your daddy a cup of gas station ice cream." Pouting, Sanford agreed, taking Spencer's hand as they headed for Darius' silver truck. "We can't just leave him completely out, you know?"

The young child sighed. "I know. But I knew you first. It's not fair."

Spencer's heart fluttered. This child, emphasis on child, was fighting with his father over him. Playfully, but still fighting. He was jealous over Spencer and that couldn't have made him happier. He squeezed the hand in his tightly and the smile on his face wasn't his regular one, it was soft and sweet, blissful.

They walked through the door at eight-seventeen p.m. Darius hadn't been worried because Spencer had secretly texted their whereabouts to him. After the park, Spencer took the little man to the library to trade out his books, then the specialty store for some ice cream, then the gas station to fill up and get Darius' treat, and then the used book store down the street from their apartments to buy copies of books Spencer had that Sanford wanted. When they opened the door, Darius was there waiting for them, hosting a pathetic fake puppy face that made Reid roll his eyes.

"You guys are so cruel. So mean and cold-hearted! That's that hurt, it ain't even funny."

"Aw, someone missed us," Spencer said, stepping over the man who had sunken to the floor in fake tears, handing him his gas station bag.

"Ice cream, daddy. Have fun!" He said, as he and Spencer made their way to his father's bedroom.

"I'll shower first because I smell worse," Sanford volunteered, causing Spencer to laugh and agree.

"I'm just going to get a glass of water, okay? Take your time," he replied, walking out of the room quickly before the boy had time to object.

Darius was sitting on the couch with a spoon lazily hanging out of the corner of his mouth. In one hand he had the small tub of chocolate ice cream, in the other, the remote. He was channel surfing dully.

"We had a lot of fun today, it's a shame you couldn't come along," Spencer teased.

Darius turned, his mouth pursed in a goofy way. "You sound so regretful."

Spencer internally nodded, honestly wishing that the man had come with him. He loved spending time with Sanford but spending time with the man you love- Love? I love him. Love. As the realization hit, his mouth almost burst open with the sentiments. He kept it in but, obviously his facial expression had changed greatly.

"Hey, you okay?" Darius asked, setting the spoon in the container and the remote on the couch. He made a motion to stand but Spencer shook his head.

"I'm fine, sorry. I'm just a little tired from today." He started to back up. "Sanford will be missing me, so… I'll just head back."

Spencer rushed down the hall to the bedroom and shut the door quietly behind him. Sanford was just turning the water off while he pulled his own things out of his go-bag so he could take a bath himself.

Fresh out of the shower and now lying on the bed, Spencer sighed. He was on his side, supported by his right arm, which was buried in his hair, a book set in front of him. Sanford was sitting cross-legged on the foot of the bed near his feet, watching the TV.

"Hey, Spencer?"

"Hmm?"

The sandy haired kid turned his emerald eyes on the adult. "I love you."

The brunette's arm almost fell from under him but he caught himself and smiled at the young boy. "Sanford?"

Mmm-hmm?" He received with expectant eyes.

"I love you, too."

The seven year old crawled to the top of the bed and under the covers, coming as close to Spencer as he could without moving the book. He grabbed the hand that was resting on the pages and held it tightly. "I know it's impossible for reasons such as the difference in sex and the general ridiculousness of it… but I wish you were my mother." Spencer twitched. In the last seven months he'd known the pair, talk of the mother rarely came up. When it did, it was tense, and Darius' mood was ruined for the rest of the day.

"I just mean that I wish she was like you. Nice and…loving. She never calls me, only when daddy reminds her. He doesn't think I know... but I do." Spencer pushed his book aside and cuddled the boy in his arms. "She always yells at me for not talking to her, but I just don't know how to talk to her. Every time I get on the phone, my mind is gone and I don't know what to say. Sometimes I cry at her and other times I just stare into space."

Spencer squeezed the boy in his arms, knowing exactly what he meant. He and his father had sort of made up, but he still didn't know how to talk to the man who had abandoned him and his mother.

"It'll get better, Sanford," Reid comforted, using the only words he knew how to.

"You sound like aunt Lor," he noted, snuggling into the warm arms as they wrapped around him more.

"Maybe because she's the one who told me those words."

Sanford gazed into the chocolate brown eyes. "You really love me?" He asked.

Spencer smiled and nuzzled the child in his arms, like a parent would to their own. "Of course."

"And you love daddy?" Sanford asked, no hidden motive behind his words.

The brunette hesitated in answering, what if the child found something strange in his confirmation? He took a deep, calming breath and nodded. "I do."

DSDS

A whole ice cream container and two episodes of a show about a bachelor who lived with his brother and nephew, later, someone inside the apartment began to grow bored. Sitting there for a while, stroking his chin like an old, evil, bearded villain would, he had finally come up with an idea.

Darius had fully intended to stop eavesdropping when he heard the topic of discussion. He had snuck to the door to scare both boys, but was interrupted when he heard the words, "…wish you were my mother."

His hand froze on the door knob, and he held his breath. As the conversation continued, he realized just how sensitive his son could be. He was always prattling on intelligently or acting like a regular seven year old. But he had emotions some people could never understand. He loved his mother, Darius hated her. Lor hated her. He instinctively knew he couldn't talk to either of them about her.

He must have missed something important, because Sanford asked is Spencer loved him and he replied with an affirmative answer. Next surprised him. But he felt himself leaning in to the door to find the answer. After a long pause, he got it. "I do," was stated and Darius let go of the door knob, retracing his steps backwards and carefully back to the couch.

The black man sat down carefully, his hands keeping his waves straight. That could have meant more than one thing. He could have just meant as a friend, like he had with Sanford. He could have meant as a brother or something like that. But… he could have meant… like that. As an object of affection. A lover.

Strangely, Darius didn't find the idea repulsive. He actually…enjoyed that thought. Maybe not that he wanted it to be, just that he liked the idea of Spencer feeling more for him…than just friends.

Darius smirked to himself. It wasn't just that it made him feel good, it was that it was Spencer. Spencer who had been with him and his son for the last few months. Spencer who was too afraid to tell him that he was gay. Spencer who might have felt that way about him. Might. Might. He sighed. He was getting ahead of himself. It wasn't fact, just a guess. Still, knowing that Spencer loved him and his son made him feel better.

Spencer was hot. Extremely and disastrously so. He turned over, but found his body in a strange position. His arm was stuck behind him. He tried to pull it out, since whatever he was stuck under was the cause of the heat, and it grunted. He whipped back and realized that it was a boy, Sanford. He sighed, feeling stupid, and slowly pulled his arm out of the grasp of the sleeping child. Spencer stood quietly, moving the bed as little as possible. His throat was parched and he opened the door silently into pitch black.

As he moved closer to the living room, he noticed the television was on. It was silent, probably on mute, and Darius was fast asleep facing the couch, a blanket covering half of his body. Spencer smiled a sleepy smile and felt his way to the kitchen. He took a glass and filled it with water, drained it, then set it smoothly in the sink. As he came out, he saw that Darius had turned to face the television, faintly lit by the faint glow of the screen. His bare feet padded softly against the hardwood floors and he kneeled next to the man.

"Darius?" He whispered, to see if he was awake. No answer. Spencer's lips quivered as he leaned forward. I really shouldn't be doing this... His lips brushed against the darker mans and a jolt of electricity ran through him. It felt amazing, his warmth and the softness of those thin lines of flesh that tempted him. He did it again, his heartbeat skipping at least two seconds and his eyes rolling to the back of his head like pocketed billiard balls. Before going to far, able to stop himself still, Spencer sat up swiftly and almost bolted out of the room.

Darius' eyes twitched and he licked his lips. Spencer tasted like mint, probably from brushing his teeth. He smiled to himself, his hunch was right. Then he popped up into a sitting position, the blanket falling off the couch. His hunch was right. Spencer felt more for him than just friendship. Could he handle it? Would he be able to act normally tomorrow? He groaned as he fell back onto his pillow. It was probably going to be awkward.

DSDS

Two weeks had passed since Darius confirmed Spencer's feelings. So far so good, he had managed not to say anything or act strangely towards his friend with newfound feelings. The results for Sanford's test had come in and they were going to tell him on his 'special day'. Right now he was texting his brother-in-law, who was preparing for the day after tomorrow, Sanford's birthday. He had requested a family day with uncle Derek, Aunty Lauren, daddy and Spencer.

De- we got the place n decos. u bring the food. apparently Reids got the kitchen bug now

Da- hes a damn good cook. fills my stomach just fine

De- just make sure you guys get the food. dont wanna let my nephew down

Da- im sensing sumthin bitter here

De- none of your business bruh

Da- wut if I think it is?

There was no immediate answer, and no answer ten minutes later. Darius squinted his eyes, feeling something strange. He felt animosity from Derek when they brought up Spencer, but when the agent was around, everything was fine. Him, Derek and Spencer had hung out before, just the three of them, and nothing seemed wrong. But Darius noticed that if he and Derek were together, and Spencer happened to come up in conversation, Derek would close up or knit his eyebrows.

He switched the television off and turned on his stereo, not too loud though, since Sanford was sleeping. As the fast beat of a rapper with a scratchy voice rang through his speakers, he came to a realization. It couldn't be…could it? He checked on his son, who was sound asleep in his bed. He usually didn't wake up in the middle of the night, and when he did, it was to use the bathroom and he was delirious, barely awake. Darius ducked out of his house, running across the street to Spencer's apartment building. He pressed the buzzer and waited for three minutes before pressing it again. "Yes?" Spencer's annoyed voice called.

"Hey, let me in."

Darius' voice was quick and harsh so Spencer let him in, no questions asked. He unlocked his door and a little later the man he was in love with was in his hallway, panting and out of breath.

"Come in," He said, closing the door behind Darius.

The man was quiet, his forehead covered with sweat, his boots haphazardly cuffed around his ankles. Spencer grimaced, watching the emotions run through Darius' eyes. "I…come sit down."

Spencer had been on his couch, a bagel and a half drunken soda on his coffee table. He was late night snacking, his brain probably overused from the documentary on string theory he was watching. They both sat on his brown couch, facing each other.

Darius' mouth opened, then closed again like a fish out of water. Spencer twitched as he saw the anger building up. "Did you sleep with my sister's husband?"

Cold ran through Spencer's veins. He could almost feel his lips turning blue, his fingers and toes blackening. His mouth quivered and his eyes started to water. He nodded gravely and slowly.

It was silent until Darius exploded. "You mother fuc-"

"Please don't be angry." Spencer's voice was actually thick and strong. His head was down but his tone was clear. "It was before they were married. Before they were serious." Spencer turned his body away from Darius. "I had loved him for three years. I only wanted to tell him and feel him. I had no idea that he was thinking about another person, nor did he tell me. Not until we had already been physical." He sniffed and his voice cracked. "In order to discard my feelings for him, I felt it necessary to finish what we had started."

Darius began to quiver with anger, though at what he wasn't entirely sure.

"I have no more feelings for him. None. Lauren and him have no problems, and though I feel guilty, she loves him more than life itself." He hiccupped. "I wanted to tell her so many times, but they're so happy, she's so happy, I couldn't destroy that." He wiped his eyes and turned towards Darius. "You can hate me. I'll consider that part of my punishment. I mean it when I say I'm over him. I only see him as a fr- no, not even that, as a coworker at most.

"He can live with the guilt. I bet he doesn't even remember what happened between us back then. It's been awhile and I… don't remember it much, either. In fact, these last few months, I forgot it had even happened. I'm undeserving of that, I know, but it's true. I haven't thought about it at all in months."

About thirty minutes of nothing passed. Spencer was hiccupping, the more quiet Darius was, the more emotional he became. His nose was running, his eyes were red. It was one in the morning and only now did Spencer think about something he felt should have been a first priority.

"Is Sanford okay?" He used a tissue to try and clean his face.

"You're really over Derek?"

Stunned that Darius had said something he nodded vehemently. "Yes!" His voice was weak.

"You regret what you did?"

Spencer was perplexed. He had to explain without sounding like he didn't care. "I regret how it happened… but, not that it happened."

Darius' eyes twitched. "So you're glad you slept with him, your best friends husband?"

Spencer's tears started again. "I am." He sucked in a huge breath. "Only because it allowed me to forget the emotions I had for him. Now I'm free of that. Even if the suffering has been replaced, I'd rather feel guilty for what happened than feeling guilty for having feelings for her man."

Darius' expression eased a little, his fists unfurling. "You're guilty about lying to my sister?"

Spencer nodded again, his eyes closed.

"And about lying to me?"

The brunette choked, his tears getting caught in his throat. "Yes, I do. I regret it so much." His voice was rough, the tears falling continuously.

Darius finally moved his body, turning towards Spencer. His chest loosened and he took a deep breath, resting his head on the back of the couch. "You and Derek are so wrong. How could you?"

Feeling like he couldn't say anything more, Spencer shrugged. "I didn't know Lauren then. At first, I didn't know she existed. When I met her, I felt so horrible and sick, like I'd committed the worst crime in the world. I don't want to hurt her. She's the first person besides my team I'm comfortable with and I love her. I don't want to hurt her that way."

Darius snarled. "Your guilt runs deep, huh, Spencer?"

The brunette nodded sincerely, releasing his legs that were pulled to his chest.

The darker man noticed and his voice softened. "I…guess I can let you live with that."

Spencer didn't smile, but the tears stopped almost instantly. He wasn't asking for forgiveness, he didn't think he deserved it, but he hoped he didn't hate him.

"I don't… hate you. I'm not happy with you, though."

Spencer agreed completely. "I- I can live with that. I just don't want-"

"Why would you let him do that to you?"

Reid was interrupted, his mouth open with his next words. "I… what?"

"Why the hell would you let him do that to you? Why would you want to be with an asshole like that?"

Spencer was confused now, his body turned completely to Darius. The man was still staring at the ceiling but his teeth were being ground.

"Why would you fall for a man like him?"

Spencer blushed. "I… He wasn't like that. He's gentle and kind. I turned him into that. It's my fault he became so bitter to me. My fault… I made it so that we could no longer be friends."

"Explain it to me, Spencer. Tell me your thought process, what you were feeling, how much you were hurting until now. Everything," Darius said quietly, his head turning towards the wide eyed brunette, his eyes no longer red with anger, they were sweet and gentle. Just like the Darius Spencer knew. He nodded and began to tell his story.

Not really that long though :D Hope you liked! Please review?