Disclaimer: I do not own Wizards of Waverly Place. No Profit is being made by writing this fiction.
Author's Note: Happy Turkey Day! Sorry it took a long while to get this up. How long was I gone for? A month? Two months? yeesh... School has been crazy lately, and I'm sure a lot of you are busy with it too.
Well, anyhoo, here's the next, long-overdue installment to our Jarper fiction. Things are finally starting to pick up and I hope you all like it. Just as a warning, though; there will be a few disappointing moments and many of you will get angry by the end of this chapter. But just remember that the story doesn't end here.
Also, there is a song in this chapter and it is very advisable that you listen to it before you read this chapter. If you just type "Nothing by Charice" on youtube or something, you'll be able to listen to the song. It's a good song, I promise. =D
Let's read on!
A Familiar Pattern 10
By genielou
Harper's consciousness briefly faltered as she felt her chest fill with unfamiliar air.
Once.
Twice.
On the third, her lungs suddenly awoke and started operating in independence. Her breath caught; her brain tried to catch up, but the unexpected jolt in her body kept the rest of her senses from working in unity. Harper frowned inwardly and tried to open her eyes, but all she could do was move her lashes ever so slightly. She groaned softly as she struggled further.
Before she could go further with her struggle, she felt something soft and moist press against her lips.
Harper ignored all inhibition as the haze in her mind continued relentlessly, and allowed her instincts to react. Her lips moved shyly against its benefactor, responding in accordance to every push and glide. When the other lifted away, she felt a sudden coldness and yearned for the warmth that her assailant provided for her.
Her countenance returned and granted her wish by taking her lips in full, firstly tugging at her lower lip then once again at her upper. Her mouth barely moved but she still indulged in the softness of the caress against them.
She let out a soft moan and allowed her eyes to open the tiniest bit. She willed them to focus, to see what wonderful creature was making her feel so wanted. There was a tall figure, a fairly massive figure.
Harper pursed her lips forward just in time with the dance she seemed to be taking part of. Her vision cleared more, and she saw a most manly gentleman with dark blonde hair staring at her with beautiful blue eyes.
She smiled at the realization of the identity of this being. Zeke. Her wonderful, caring, sweet boyfriend Zeke was staring at her with those loving eyes of his.
Wait, staring?
Another realization struck her hard. Her boyfriend, the only one who had universal permission to touch her in any way possible, is not the one kissing her so possessively at that very moment.
She stopped participating and stiffened on the spot. Her eyes moved to the head that slowly lifted itself from her. That black mass of hair; those thick, bushy eyebrows; thick lashes; droopy, but expressive eyes; and the unmistakable, knowing grin that she had memorized in her mind after almost fifteen years of friendship…
Harper gasped aloud and bolted upright. Her hand gripped a thick comforter that now crumpled on her lap and her other went up to her sweat-stricken brow.
"Justin," she whispered, but was greeted by silence. Only the sound of the soft whirring of a humidifier penetrated the air around her. Her eyes automatically took on her surroundings, and after a short while of foggy contemplation, concluded that she was indeed in her room. And by the gray-blue emanating from the tiny window above the washing machine, she reckoned that it was mid- to late afternoon. She sighed in relief.
Relief? Was that what she really felt? The dream was too elaborated, and too accusing for her to feel too calm too quickly.
Oh my god. She thought to herself. Zeke. Oh god, Zeke.
The sound of her door opening interrupted her thoughts. Loud noises came from the other side of it. It seemed louder than the usual business rush that the Waverly Substation had.
"Yeah, Mom! I'll take the trash out later!" The sound of a door shutting, then a snort and a snide, "Yeah, like that's really gonna happen."
Harper waited for the familiar voice to emerge from the descending stairwell, allowing Alex to realize her awakened condition on her own. Alex quickened her pace when she saw Harper sitting upright, and ran into her arms.
"Harper! Geez, I was so scared," she remarked as she squeezed her with all her might. "I don't know what I would've done if anything more had happened to you."
"Don't worry. I don't plan on doing that again," Harper answered, frowned, then pushed and held Alex at arm's length. "Speaking of which, what happened?"
Alex explained everything to Harper, with details included. Harper listened carefully despite the growing ache in her head.
"And don't you worry, I am so going to sue their asses once you're all better."
"Oh Alex, that's not necessary. They offered us lifetime admission, didn't they?" Harper remarked.
"But still!" Alex said. "Harper, it could've been worse!"
"Right, it could've been worse. But look at me, I'm alive and well," a dizzy spell hit her and she had to press a hand to her head to relieve it. "Okay, not completely well, but well enough. I'm just happy I'm still breathing."
Alex huffed and pouted her lips. "Still- "
The loud cheering and hollering from the upper level cut her off. They both look up at the ceiling in unison.
"Uh, what's going on?" Harper asked.
"Karaoke," Alex made a face. "Dad thought it would be good for business because of the convention. He's right but," she looked upwards again. "My ears are starting to bleed from all the bad singing going on. People suck in general."
Harper giggled, then suddenly made a strange, throaty sound as she sneezed. Loudly.
"Geez, Harper. Be a girl, will ya?" Alex joked.
Harper shook her head as she reached for a tissue on the nightstand next to her. It was only then that she noticed a vase full of a dozen red roses. She turned a questioning eye at her friend.
Alex eyed the roses and winced at her. "Oh, yeah, that," she said hesitantly. "I was hoping you wouldn't see those."
Harper cocked her head to the side. "I'm assuming they're not from you," she said. "Because you know—"
"—that you hate red roses because they're overly cheesy and overly done," Alex finished for her. "Yeah, believe me, I know. That's why I was really hoping that you wouldn't see those."
Harper frowned. "They're not from Zeke," she said matter-of-factly.
"No."
"Max would have written me a weird song or blended some kind of fruit drink if he wanted to cheer me up."
"Yeah…"
"And your parents would've made me my favorite: clam chowder soup or mac-and-cheese."
"The soup is upstairs just waiting to be reheated."
"Then that means…" Harper's shoulders dropped. She didn't want to finish her thought further.
Alex moved closer towards Harper and tried to meet her eyes. "He means well, Harper. I think he really likes you now."
Harper furrowed her brows. "Yeah. He means well." She turned and looked at the vase of roses, her eyes switching from each rose. They were so beautiful, so romantic, and so not her. Sure, any girl would love to have a boy give her a dozen roses, but not her. Harper had specific tastes, and this was most evident in the type of wardrobe that she wore. She was unique, complicated, but honest. How many times had she expressed aloud that she loved sunflowers? Especially yellow sunflowers? In fact, a lot of her summer dresses had sunflower patterns on them. So why, out of all people, would Justin give her otherwise.
A sad feeling overtook her as she realized how much effort she had put in over the past weeks. They seemed so… ridiculous now.
Her eyes lifted as she remembered her dream.
"You said that he gave me CPR."
Alex nodded. "If it wasn't for him, I don't know what would have happened."
She turned back to Alex. "Can you—can you describe it me again?"
Alex furrowed her brows in worry. "Justin ran to you, then he did his thing. It took a while." Her lips quivered as she continued. "You weren't responding. But he didn't give up. Then… then… I'm not really sure how it happened, but then he just kept doing the breathing part of it instead of pushing on your chest. He did it for a long while, and when he was done, you opened your eyes."
Realization struck Harper. "He was doing the breathing part for a long time?"
Alex nodded.
"Did it look like he was—um," Harper hesitated. "Like he was kissing me?"
Alex frowned, taken aback by the question, and then paused to think about the question. "Well," she started. "I guess. But that's how it should look like if someone is doing CPR, right?"
Harper nodded slowly. "Right," she repeated. "Exactly." Then her eyes widened. "Was Zeke there?"
Alex lifted a brow. "No," she said. "He didn't really know about it until you were taken away by the paramedics."
Harper sighed heavily with relief, and Alex stared at her in wonder. She knew her best friend was on the brink of a break down from all of the confusion she has been feeling towards her current boyfriend and her past (or maybe still current) crush. She looked at her sympathetically.
"Harper," she started. She waited for Harper to pay utmost attention to her before she continued. "Harper, I love you. Whatever you decide, I am going to support you to the fullest."
Harper smiled at her. "It makes me so sad, Alex," she said. "That's not how a person should feel about the man she loves."
"No, Harper," Alex whispered. "No."
They stayed silent for awhile, with Harper staring at her hands and Alex staring at Harper. Finally, Alex drew a deep breath and addressed her with more seriousness than she was used to.
"Remember how Dean and I broke up? Remember the reason for it?"
Harper looked at her and nodded slowly.
"You know more than anyone how hard it was for me to admit that it just wasn't working out. In the end, I really couldn't deny it anymore."
Harper nodded knowingly, already dreading what Alex was about to tell her.
Alex drew a deep breath again before continuing. "Zeke, no matter how much of a sappy geek he is," at this she made a face. "He's good to you. He's really, really good to you. I'm not telling you to choose him over Justin, but, maybe—just maybe, you shouldn't knock Zeke out of the competition just because your puppy love-interest came back." She shrugged her shoulders, "we're adults now, you know? Maybe a more logical choice is better than the surreal one."
The sound of loud, off-tune singing abruptly filled the air as the door opened; then the sound of grunting and panting, and finally the shutting of the door. Heavy footsteps descended the stairs. The two waited curiously until a masculine body with a vase full of flowers appeared. Zeke's head peaked sideways from it and greeted them with a smile.
"Hey, you!" he said cheerfully. "I was hoping you'd be up."
Harper couldn't help but be infected by his smile. She felt the sadness in her lift and disappear as she welcomed his warmth.
Seeing the change of mood in Harper, Alex simply smiled and got up from her position on the bed. "I gotta go take out the trash." Harper made a face at her, causing Alex to snort loudly and chuckle effeminitely. "You're right, I'm so lying. I'm gonna go grab a soda. I'll be back." She skipped away and disappeared into the loud crowd of the restaurant above, leaving Harper and Zeke to themselves.
Zeke set the vase of flowers next to the roses and sat himself down, automatically taking her hands in his. She smiled as she eyed the flowers tenderly, then him. "You remembered."
"Of course I remembered," Zeke grinned sheepishly. "Sunflowers, just the way my lady likes it. And I hope you noticed too…"
Harper turned to what Zeke was pointing at. The vase was filled with big, yellow sunflowers, but at the bottom were smaller pink and white daisies, which added to the aesthetics of the assortment.
"I know they're not officially your favorite, but they're on a lot of your headbands. So I figured you might like those kinds too."
She didn't remember it right away, but when she did, she stared at him in disbelief. "You noticed that?" she asked.
He lifted her hands up and brushed them against his lips. "Of course I did. They're usually on the thick bands. Remember the one that you wear with your "Oranges" outfit?" Her answer was a mere stare. "You were wearing a headband in the shape of orange daisies."
She thought back to the outfit that she wore on that day. It took seconds for her to realize exactly that.
"Listen, babe," Zeke started. "I can't really stay long. I just wanted to make sure that you were alright."
Zeke lifted a hand to smooth the few strands of hair that rose askew on Harper's head. She closed her eyes as she appreciated the feel of his touch when the tip of his fingers brushed against her forehead.
"Do you need anything?" he asked. "Anything at all? Soup? Watermelon slushie?"
Harper shook her head and smiled. "This is enough."
The smile he returned made her chest feel so much lighter than it had minutes before. For that brief moment, it seemed as though Zeke was the only man that held a piece of her heart.
With that thought, the other man entered her mind again and the disappointment she felt when she saw the vase of roses returned, dooming her expression to be evident. Despite this, Zeke was not discouraged from letting her feel his touch. With the change of her expression, he leaned closer and pressed his lips on her temple, lingering awhile to savor in the smell of the shampoo of her hair. She breathed a sigh of admiration as he withdrew.
"Zeke," she started. "Do you remember when we first met?"
He drew back in surprise, and she had expected as much. She had presented something that was almost impossible for him to remember, but she wanted to test him. She needed obvious evidence that what she was thinking of doing was the right choice.
Zeke shook his head slowly. "I—I don't think so."
Harper's shoulders dropped.
"But," Zeke began again. "I can tell you the very first time I saw you."
She sat upright curiously.
"It was during one of those crazy ten-minute sales. My nana always took me with her when I was younger," he smirked at her. "I was in charge of carrying stuff."
She couldn't stop frowning at him. "The crazy ten-minute sale," she whispered. "You were there?"
He snorted. "Oh heck yeah. I think it was a little over four years ago that I first saw you. I recognized Alex first because—well, I mean, who doesn't know Alex? She's only the most popular troublemaker in all of Tribeca Prep."
He displayed his wheezy chuckle that Alex found annoying but Harper found rather adorable.
Zeke sighed as he glorified in nostalgia. "Man, that was awhile ago. You know, you were wearing a flower headband then too. And, if I remember correctly, you were wearing a blue shirt with a big yellow sunflower on the front." He grinned to himself, "ah, sunflowers…"
Harper shook her head in disbelief. He was absolutely right. It was amazing that he remembered such a detail when she, herself, had to think about it before she could remember. The only reason she even remembered that fact is because Alex made fun of her shirt that day, and she remembered feeling embarrassed about it. "Zeke," she breathed out, "I can't believe you remember that."
Zeke grinned at her, as if otherwise was too ridiculous of a notion. "Of course I remember. And I especially remember thinking how cute you were."
She couldn't help but smile at him. The feeling of being wanted this much was almost overwhelming.
A low beeping sound emanated from his back pocket. He reached back and upon checking the reason for the beeping on his cellphone, looked back to her with urgency.
"I have to go, Sweety," he said. "I have to go pick up my mom from her work."
She nodded. "Of course. Yeah. Go."
Zeke grinned at her once more, kissed her good bye, and rushed out, leaving Harper to think by herself. Alex's contribution of her experience with Dean flashed in her mind and, at that point, she had decided what she had to do. She was sure to regret it later, but she knew she had to do it. It was for her own good…
The sound of loud noise erupted from the top of the staircase with a loud "No, Max! I told you, she's not in the mood!"
Seconds later, Max's long legs thundered down the stairs, hurrying in her direction. She smiled nervously at his presence.
"Harper, buddy, I brought you something," he said.
"No, Max. Learn the word!" his sister yelled at him.
He merely shook his head in disregard. "Will you relax? Harper," he turned to her. "It'll make you feel better. Trust me."
Harper eyed the glass of bright, orange goop that he held out to her. She reluctantly took it with both hands.
Max looked at her expectantly. "I promise, it's mostly fruits. I even added watermelon just for you."
Alex shook vigorously in protest, and Harper raised both eyebrows in interest. "Watermelon?" she asked.
Max nodded. "Go on, try it."
Harper lifted the glass slowly, very slowly. She sniffed first, then lifted further and further until her lips touched the glass. She took a sip, tasted it carefully, and swallowed. Her expression relaxed as her tongue took in the sweetness of the drink in recognition.
"Hmm, this is actually good," she said, taking a full swig of the glass this time. "What's in this?"
Max smiled in satisfaction. "Well, watermelon, oranges, apples—"
"This is so good," another swig.
"—potatoes, and snails."
Harper sprayed what was in her mouth onto her blanket. The next few minutes that ensued involved her gagging and Alex chasing Max around with her wand extended.
By that night, Harper had decided to take it upon herself and execute an action that will fulfill her choice to become free of all past-indulgences. She made herself up, being extra careful to look as pretty as she could. If this was the last night that she will be considering Justin as her foremost love, she wanted to at least have him remember her as something more beautiful than she had ever been to his eyes. Arrangements had been made to make sure that tonight would be the last night. Zeke was at his own apartment, waiting for her to arrive within an hour's time, and Alex had made sure that Justin was in attendance at the Waverly Substation. The karaoke portion of the restaurant had been an added bonus, as Harper had a particular song that she had long ago readied for herself just in case this particular time would come. And finally, it had.
She perfected her eyeliner, then smudged the shadow on her lids for a smokey effect. She stood up and looked herself over on her full-scale mirror. Her shoulder-length hair had been primped with big curley-cues that bounced with even the slightest movement. A red and black striped, long-sleeved shirt hugged her curves, more prominent on her chest where the cut ends considerably low, showing off the slight separation of her breasts. She buckled a golden belt around her waist to exaggerate her shape, and settled for a dark denim skirt that flowed freely to her knees. The gold high heels and the various plastic jewelry completed well with the lightness of her skin.
Harper took a deep breath, sighed, and pursed her lips in determination. "You can do this," she whispered to herself. Smoothing the hems of her skirt once more, she took a piece of paper and a large headband with a giant sunflower attached to it from her desk and proceeded up the stairs. When she opened the door, she was greeted by a huge array of yells and hollers, all cheerful and optimistic. Alex grabbed her as soon as she entered the main room of the restaurant.
"Hey," she said with a slight worry in her voice. "Are you sure about this?"
Harper nodded then handed her the piece of paper. "If you're really supportive, you won't fake yourself through this song."
Alex read what was written on the paper, and frowned at her best friend. "But Harper," she began. "This—this is a lie. Why would you pick this?"
Her reply was simple and calm. "I know. That's exactly why I picked it."
Alex looked at her anxiously, then nodded and left her side to wander around the restaurant.
Harper searched the room. There were many people there, mostly those she recognized from the convention. Some were even still wearing their costumes. A few recognized her now and then as she passed them by, waving and grinning at her, then just as quickly dismissing her. When she found the purpose of her set up, she quickly sat by his side and gave him a warm smile. He, in turn, took her hand in his and entwined their fingers, an action that she thought would never have been possible a few months ago.
"Hey," he said, a hint of giddiness in his tone. He had been waiting for her since hearing news of her well-being. "I was hoping you'd show yourself tonight. Did you see the roses?"
Harper repressed a wince at his expectant question. "Yeah, thanks."
His eyes seemed to savor her entirety. "Wow," he breathed aloud, though still unheard from the loud chattering around them. "You look beautiful."
She couldn't help but blush. "Thanks," she repeated. Then, remembering her purpose, revealed the headband that she had been holding and placed it firmly on her head. "What do you think? I bought it a few days ago."
Justin made a face at her, much to her disappointment. He lifted the headband from her head with both hands and placed them on the table between them. "You look better without it."
Sadness took over her once more. She averted her eyes away from his, busying her sight with her surroundings while he proceeded to stare at her admiringly. He looked so glad to see her; she was afraid that his excitement over her presence will make her withdraw her decision.
She forced Alex's words in her mind, and took her time to recompose her planned speech in her head. A few more seconds, then after a loud cheering, she turned to him. "Justin," she started. "Do you remember when we first met?"
Justin snorted. "No. That was a long time ago."
Harper's smile faltered momentarily then she regained herself. "How about the first time you saw me?"
"Come on, Harper. Be real," he replied. "Would you remember something that frivolous?"
"Yes," she said before she could control herself. "Yes, I would."
Justin stared at her, not sure what to say.
"I remember when I first met you," she continued. "It was when Alex brought me here for the first time to see her new baby brother." Her smile began to falter again. "You were there. You wore thick, black glasses then. And I remember thinking how dorky you were until you actually started talking to me about the impossibility that a bunch of baby turtles didn't die from being exposed to radioactive goo. You talked about how inaccurate it was for turtles to eat nothing but pizza, and so on and so forth. It was your Ninja Turtles phase."
He stared at her in utter disbelief. "You—you remember that?"
Harper smirked, truthfully this time. "You'd be surprised how much I remember when it comes to you."
Before Justin could reply, Alex took the microphone and began to introduce herself. "Hey y'all! How's everyone doing!"
A loud cheer greeted her.
"Okay, okay, settle down, you nerds. Anyway!" she yelled out as a few glares went her way. "I'm singing so cheer me on, okay? I promise I won't butcher it."
A fast tempo emerged from the speakers as the karaoke screen displayed an array of colors. The crowd clapped in time with the beat.
"Ooo yeah,
Oh oh oh oh…"
Justin recognized the song to be of Charice Pempengco's "Nothing." He knew it through his roommate's girlfriend's taste in music, and thought it suspicious that his sister would sing such a song. It talked of newly-found strength after a break-up, hence belonging to the romance category of genre. It didn't suit her personality at all.
"I thought I'd shiver,
I thought I'd weaken
When you asked me to meet up again."
"Justin." He turned as she called to him. "What do you like about me?"
"I was so sure that
In one second,
all my emotions would rush back in."
He stared at her, not sure what to say. A bad feeling started to take over him as his suspicions grew. "Why are you asking me that?"
"You cut so deep,
I couldn't see myself
Moving on without you."
"Please, Justin. Please, just answer the question," she pleaded. "I really need to hear it from you."
"I never thought I'd break free.
I always thought you'd be part of me
And nothing could change that."
That bad feeling grew, disturbing Justin even more. The words that his sister sang with so much emotion added to the tension, haunting his ears. His expression changed to that of panic.
"I didn't dare to believe
That I'd recover you leaving me,
And you couldn't change that."
Justin decided to try to avert the question. "You know, I was wondering if maybe you and I could go see a movie or something before I go back to school. There's this really nice flick premiering tomorrow—"
"Justin," she said more firmly. "What do you like about me?"
"Over.
I thought I would cry.
I spin over but I'm more than alright."
Justin's chest started to feel heavy. He had planned to confess his recently-found feelings to Harper, but something else was afoot. He wanted to answer her, but his brain just wasn't cooperating with him.
"I never thought
Seeing you again would make me feel
Nothing, nothing, nothing."
His breathing fastened.
"It feels so good to feel
Nothing, nothing, nothing."
"You're beautiful!" he blurted out. "You're so—uh, different from back then. You grew up."
"Did you imagine
I'd be on fire
To feel you touch me and say my name?"
"I grew up," she repeated, nodding to him. "Hearing that now, it sounds so funny."
"To hear you say it,
You wanna start over.
I admit,
Thought I'd feel the same.
I hate to break it to you now,
I've moved on without you."
The song was doing its job. Like Alex said, it was a lie; but she needed to lie right now. This is what was good for her. She needed to do it.
"I never thought I'd break free.
I always thought you'd be a part of me,
And nothing could change that."
She took his hand in hers, entwining their fingers once more. She looked at him, and made sure that his full attention was to her. "Justin," she began. "I love you so much."
"I didn't dare to believe
That I'd recover you leaving me,
And you couldn't change that."
"But you don't love me, do you?"
"Over.
I thought I would cry.
I spin over but I'm more than alright."
Justin shook his head slowly. He knew deep inside that this was an honest answer.
"I never thought
Seeing you again would make me feel
Nothing, nothing, nothing."
He was infatuated by the new Harper, but did he love her?
"It's so good to feel
Nothing, nothing, nothing."
It was honest, but still, he regretted it.
"How can nothing feel so good?
How can nothing feel so right?
How can something be so completely gone?
That was my whole life."
She smiled sadly at him. "I bet you don't know anything about me."
Justin pleaded with his eyes, but knew it was useless. He was ashamed of himself for being associated with such a hurtful fact.
"I feel nothing at all."
"My favorite color?" she asked. He frowned, then casted his eyes down.
"I feel nothing at all."
"What I'm allergic to?" she asked again. He shook his head.
"I feel nothing at all."
"My—" she hesitated. "My birthday?"
"I feel nothing."
His expression was full of shame and regret. And she, in turn, could not help but stare at him with sadness and disappointment most evident. She couldn't hide her emotions anymore.
"I never thought I'd break free.
I always thought you'd be a part of me,
And nothing can change that.
I didn't dare to believe,
That I'd recover you leaving me,
And you couldn't change that."
She leaned towards him and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you," she whispered. "You made this a lot easier for me."
"Over.
I thought I would cry.
I spin over but I'm more than alright."
Harper gathered herself, stood up, then walked away towards the door. Alex, realizing this, followed her with her eyes, hoping that her best friend had finally found closure.
"I never thought
Seeing you again would make me feel
Nothing, nothing, nothing."
Justin watched helplessly from his seat, the overbearing feeling of shame keeping him from running after her.
"It feels so good to feel
Nothing, nothing, nothing."
As soon as the doors closed behind her, Harper took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. Her head felt clearer, as if a chip on her shoulder has finally been removed.
"Nothing, nothing, nothing."
She walked down the boulevard of Waverly Place, making sure not to look back. She kept going until she turned and disappeared at a corner.
"It feels so good to feel
Nothing, nothing, nothing."
The crowd cheered as Alex finished the song. She felt exalted from singing such a powerful song, but at the same time sad at what had transpired while she sang it. One look at her defeated brother and she knew that things had finally taken a huge turn, whether it be for good or for worse, she wasn't sure yet.
Harper didn't return during the rest of Justin's vacation visit, not even once. On the day that Justin had to leave, he kept delaying the time of his departure hoping that she would at least drop by for a quick good bye. After two hours of delay, he finally grabbed his bags and boarded a taxi back to his college where, hopefully, a semester's worth of school work will distract him from thinking about her.