AN: Wow. We're at 90.
Thank you all!
Chapter 90
"Would you consider a sex change?"
Larry looked at me if I was insane. "No."
"She's a breast woman and not into sausages," I stated. I was just trying to help.
"I can seduce anyone." He gave what I guessed was come hither eyes. It looked like a gnat flew in them.
"I doubt that very much."
"Listen, girl..."
Kate held up her hand. "I'm the only one allowed to call her that."
We were sitting at the picnic benches next to the cafeteria. It was one of those nice days, which if I liked sun and the outdoors it would be perfect. A bug landed on my arm and I swatted at it. Stupid nature.
"It's Kate's thing. Find something else," I stated this with a tone that wouldn't be messed with.
"Okay?" He questioned. The poor guy would probably regret the day he started hanging out with us. Oh well.
Kate showed him the picture she was sketching. "You'd make a pretty girl."
She drew him wearing a very slutty dress, high heels and ringlets. He would be what I normally believed to be Tanya's type. I was an abnormality, I suppose.
My kid came up and looked at the picture Kate drew. "What are you two up to?"
"Being helpful." I gave a smirk.
"I doubt that," Baseball Boy kissed me on the top of my head. "Please don't take anything they say seriously."
"Hey!" Kate looked offended. "This young man likes Tanya!"
"He does, kid. I think they would be terrific together." I glared at my man.
Baseball Boy sat next to me closely. His hand went directly to my knee. "You're trying to torment her."
I whispered in his ear, "You love it when I torment people."
"I find it incredibly sexy," he whispered back. His hand crept higher. "Want to find a quiet janitor's closet?"
"Will you not mention marriage during our tryst? Not one word?" I moved my hand at something hard in his pants. Hello there, Mr. Pokey.
He nibbled my ear. Then added, "I can't promise that. The vision of you in a wedding dress is a huge turn on."
I was done.
"Get a room!" Kate complained. She was still cut off until the last game of the season. At least, they could kiss again. A grouchy Kate was another me. One of me is quite enough to subject my poor fellow students to.
"Don't worry about it, Mary Jane!" I removed his hand and my own. "Somebody's cut off again."
"Me?" She asked worriedly.
"No. Kid."
"Come on, Bella!" My kid cried and put his head on the table.
"You know she gets all rabid when you mention weddings!" Kate looked at him with zero sympathy. "You keep digging your own grave, buddy."
"What about Tanya?" Larry asked in exasperation.
My kid looked thoughtful. "She's the vainest person I ever met. Shower her with compliments and presents."
My kid was quite clever, but no fun sometimes.
"Buy a cheap bra and stuff it with tissues." I smiled at the thought. It would be funny. "You'll get farther with her as a cross dresser."
"Please don't do that!" My kid implored Larry. "My Bella finds amusement in this, which means it will be embarrassing."
Larry ignored my kid and said to me, "That's a great idea, Bella!"
One step closer to my goal of getting a good laugh.
"Oh shit!" Kate exclaimed. "Emmett's lost his mind again!"
I think the Giant's intelligence had been permanently lost long ago.
He was naked again and running around the picnic benches. He was out of control.
I have a feeling the rumors were true. There was quite a bit of inbreeding in that family.
He stopped at our table and my kid tried to cover my eyes. It wasn't anything I hadn't seen before, so I removed his hand.
That thing couldn't be considered a hot dog, more like a cocktail weenie.
"Guess what!" The giant screamed.
My kid begged, "Em...put on some pants!"
"I'm going to be a daddy!"
Oh god...they bred.