Author's Note on Hannah and her Daughter
I would have liked to address some reviewer responses and comments earlier during the process.
I understand that Fanfiction is generally more personal both to the writer and the reader, especially in wide and flourishing fan based cultures like the US or Japan. Strictly speaking, despite its length Fanfiction is never generally a stand alone process. Re-reading Hannah and her Daughter, makes me understand that the large missing gaps that pervade the story would always launch the uninitiated into a complete disarray, while even the most staunchest Mass Effect fans would sometimes miss what I had presumed to be a common experience.
As such I wish to apologize on the haphazard manner in which this story was put together. It had initially begun as a personal project to close my chapter in life with the experience of Mass Effect. I had initially wished to write about all my favorite topics in the series, and the beginning of it all was naturally, the Role Play of a strong, reserved, female Shepard that had been my main character ever since my first play through.
I had always imagined my Shepard to have a mother and an absence of a father. She was smart but not an intellectual, due to a combination of growing up as a military brat and her natural cool headedness. As with all my RPGs, my Shepard was a long range DPS character with Stealth, be it a rogue, sniper, operative etc. Naturally I gave her an Intelligence based Military back ground. During my time in service, I had a good relationship with the Intelligence branch, where most of their briefings ended up with analysis of pictures and sightings and what they meant to the overall scheme of things. Hence, my Shepard was an extremely skilled Intelligence branch officer who entered Special Forces training. She became mostly a reactionary where things were put in motion, weighing information carefully before implementing any plan. I liked the fact that she always contacted her mother, and how some of her mother's in-game dialogue often bordered on typically embarrassing parental tropes. Hence, having a mother to a Space-Jesus type character who was a woman, was eventually the theme of my story. A mixture of "Antonia's line" (Emily-Hannah-Messalina), a bit of disappointed parenthood and an interplay of generations (Emily-Hannah, Hannah-Messalina), a Salvation and Sacrifice story (space Jesus), and how the relationships were the only thing that mattered in her choice (Friends, the reactionary character of Messalina).
I have received a review which criticized how I killed of my main character in the end. I am a Christian, and I appreciate the theme of Sacrifice and Salvation, and despite that almost every playthrough I ended up destroying the Reapers just to get the "breathing scene", I chose to sacrifice Shepard in the story. Being at peace with the choices in life is difficult, and while we would often dream of a fairy tale ending, the term 'Happily ever after' only appeared recently even in traditional fairy tales, which were heavily edited to befit the consumerist culture that characterized the twentieth century. Old tales would often tell of the gruesome fate awaiting perpetrators, half felt victories where allies remained in unresolved limbo, and heroes that actually appeared more vengeful than what we would more easily swallow. Cinderella's sisters ends up with hacked off bloody ankles to fit the glass slippers, Seven dwarfs are left to live their life in the black forest, and little mermaids dissolve to bubbles, while the escapades of perky cats and mouse would even make Itchy and Scratchy cringe.
Hence, Miranda ends up losing her other sister, becoming the washed out form of who she once was. Emily dies without truly apologizing for who she was her entire life, and the damage she caused Hannah and Messalina. Alan Shepard is mysteriously framed of killing two Turians, spiraling into decrepitude and forcing Hannah to forgo her dreams and weigh resentment on Messalina. But the central theme is that despite all her difficulties, Hannah Shepard never abandoned Messalina. And like wise, and possibly because of that Messalina never sacrificed anyone but herself to achieve her goals. Well, almost anyone, since Kaidan dies in my story, and that forms another bristling resentment between Ashley and Messalina.
Meanwhile, I planned to write a lot about Garrus in this story, as I always saw him as the equal of Shepard. Even in-game he always eclipsed my character. I was always forced to choose someone else for my squad, and I eventually imagined that Garrus was always off doing his own parallel thing. Now I have begun writing my Garrus story, which will revolve around Garrus, his invalid mother, his resentful sister, his retired and powerless father, his friends in C-Sec, and why Garrus would never find a woman until the bright and cheerful, yet equally damaged Tali would appear in his life. I've decided to write from the view of on an outsider of Garrus's life, Chloe Michel. I plan to make it a longer story than Messalina's as I have to cover Pre-ME1 timeline through ME1, through Omega, and then Post ME3.
I am always grateful for the Readers and Reviewers, and any comment and any criticism is always appreciated.
I will keep this chapter posted to add and reply to any guest reviewers whom I cannot reply to by messages.
P.S. my updates have slowed down lately. I find that I usually cannot write more than 3000 words a day, and lately my real job is taking much of my words. Sorry.
-Rulid