Chapter four
Morgana placed the glass gently on the counter and took in a deep breath and began.
"I don't know what Arthur ever told you about me."
Merlin spoke quickly "he never told me that much about you, only that you were beautiful and he wasn't there to protect you when you needed him."
Morgana rolls her eyes back, fighting back the tears that are beginning to form "he has always felt responsible." She pauses, taking another sip of the wine. "I was 14 when I started dating Arthur's friend Mordred, we couldn't tell anyone because of the age gap. There was three years difference between us and we knew how Arthur would react if he found out. We waited two months before taking out relationship further." She made a slight gesture with both her hands.
Merlin looked at her confused "before you…" he started awkwardly before stopping and ducking his head down.
"Had sex" she finished for him, understanding his embarrassment.
"Morgana you don't have to..." Merlin starts but she talks over him, silencing him.
"I want to Merlin." She starts "it wasn't consensual and I spent years of my life trying to forget about him. But he found me; he always found me and each time left me worse for wear. But I've never pressed charges."
Merlin inhaled sharply but Morgana continued "I hadn't heard anything from him for two years, until tonight, when he left that ring with that note."
The silence between them was unbearable and she couldn't help but sign loudly. She picked up the wine glass and rapidly finished her drink.
Merlin cleared his throat "have you been with someone since then?" he asked anxiously.
"No, never." She started "I've never been able to trust anyone enough. I've never wanted anyone enough until…" she stopped, cursing herself. Why did she say that?
Merlin looked at her curiously "until?" he asked, looking into her eyes.
"Until you." She whispered. He looked shocked and she jumped off her seat and rushed down the small hallway to the door, she opened it. She almost jumped out of her skin when he rushed behind her, putting his foot in front of his door and his body connecting with hers. She turned to see his face directly behind hers, his breath hot on her neck.
"Don't go." He whispered.
She turned around slowly, her head centimetres away from hers, she tried to lean back but the door stopped her. She wanted to get as much distance between them as possible but also wanted to be as close to Merlin as possible. She was surprised when he moved forward and pushed his lips softly against hers. She pushed her lips against his deepening the kiss before parting her lips slightly, he responded by parting his lips like she has. He gently pushes his tongue into her mouth and in gently stokes pushes his tongue against hers.
He pulls back and looks at her for a long time before whispering "please, come back inside." she does exactly as he says; closing the door behind her and following him back into the apartment.
"You're not the only one who's had a difficult past Morgana, one day I'll tell you about it. But not tonight, it's late and I have work in the morning." Merlin says moving the wine glasses to the sink then re-corking the wine and placing it on the side.
"Shit, I have a job tomorrow too" she says almost in disbelief "I completely forgot." Merlin laughs at her, taking her hand and leading her up the stairs towards his bedroom.
When they reach the top of the stairs, her deductions on the look of this room are confirmed and she enjoys the open space. "You can have the bed" he calls out as he goes through a draw, picking up a worn out Metallica shirt. He throws it on the bed "you can wear that, if you want"
"Bathroom?" she asks, pointing at the closed door.
"Yeah" he answers simply. She picks up the t-shirt from the bed and walk to the bathroom. Closing the door behind her she sighs heavily. She uses the toilet then washes her hands and sneakily uses Merlin's toothbrush. He won't mind, she thinks to herself. She then peels of the tight leather trousers and unzips her matching jacket. She is left standing in her panties, which are small and made of black lace. They cover the bare skin beneath, her chest is bare and she quickly covers it with the t-shirt which stops just below her hips, leaving view of the lace material. She smiles to herself in the mirror then takes the hairband from her hair, letting it flow down her back. A small pack of makeup wipes are sat on the sink, she grabs one then wipes the dark makeup from her eyes, leaving her barefaced.
She unlocked the bathroom door and walked back in to the bedroom pausing when at the sight of Merlin in nothing but his grey boxers. She leant on the doorway and admired the view.
When he turned around he jumped back, moving his hands to cover the bulge in his tight boxers "Jesus Morgana" he snaps "give a guy some warning." She can't stop herself from laughing at him, she has to hold her hand over her mouth to try and muffle the sounds.
"I'm sorry" she manages between laughing; she drops her clothes on the floor.
He opens the mirrored wardrobe and pulls out a pair of pyjama bottoms; he walks over to the bathroom stopping when he reaches her. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll take the sofa."
She steps out of the way allowing him to get into the bathroom then sits herself in the middle of the bed. Morgana waits a couple of minutes until Merlin comes out of the bathroom wearing checked pyjama bottoms, the waistband of his boxers is still visible above them and a small trail of hair leading beneath the fabric. He may be skinny but his chest is well defined, Morgana thinks to herself, the looks at the shallow lines of defined muscles around his chest and down his torso.
"Merlin, thank you for everything, I'll take the sofa though."
He cuts her off quickly "shhhh" and then he points at her "you are my guest and I have offered you my bed for the night. Sleep well sweetheart." He says mockingly climbing down the stairs. She pushed herself back on the bed and wiggled under the covers. She nested her head on the pillows and pulled the duvet tightly around her.
"Merlin?" she calls out.
"Yeah" he says instantly from the living room.
"Thank you" she says again, smiling to herself.
"Shut up Morgana and go to sleep" he calls out pretending to be annoyed before turning the lights off.
Morgana closed her eyes and thought about kissing Merlin.