Hey, it's me! I went browsing through Naruto crossovers, and was appalled that there were no Baroque, Grim Grimoire, Slender, Odin Sphere, or any finished Disgaea stories! (Well, I think there was two or three.) Heck, there wasn't even any Animal Crossing crossovers! Heck Silent Hill crosses over with Animal Crossing, for Pete's sake! I have my work cut out for me. On a different note, I was looking for music to listen to while I wrote this story, and one of the songs on the Cd my friend lent to me (I have to give it back) has what I now believe to be Red Pyramids theme song on it. The song is called 'F*** You Like An Animal' by Nine Inch Nails. I don't really care much for the lyrics, but this song will definitely help me type this story. If you want to hear the song, I'm sure it's on Youtube. (I mean, what isn't?) Also, sorry if anything in this story offends you.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Silent Hill. If Pyramid Head finds you, just save yourself the trouble and bend over. You know you can't escape.
Chapter 4
Kakashi awoke with a start, Asuma standing right next to his bed.
Asuma: Man, Kakashi. If you're that tired maybe you should ask for some time off.
Kakashi gave Asuma a strange look.
Kakashi: Tired, what?
Asuma: Yeah, you scared that Naruto kid half to death with that stunt. Were you drugged?
Kakashi: I don't know what you're talking about.
Now it was Asuma giving Kakashi a strange look.
Asuma: I saw you last night when I went to go home after a couple of drinks. You seemed kind of out of it, so I followed you.
Kakashi: And... what did I do?
Asuma: Well, besides rudely waking up your student in the middle of the night, you grabbed him, made-out with him, and then passed out while mumbling about human flesh. The kid was so shocked, it was ten seconds later before he screamed bloody murder. You should have seen him! He was running around in a circle yelling for help!
Kakashi: I see...
Asuma: Well, I need to go. Unlike you, I actually have to meet my team on time.
Asuma got up and went out of Kakashi's house. When he was outside, 'Asuma' grinned a big grin. Jagged teeth and all, before he went out of sight and let his form melt away. The person left behind, was Naruto.
Meanwhile
Sakura and Sasuke were waiting for Naruto and Kakashi to show up. After about thirty minutes, Naruto walked up to them, a worried look plastered on his face.
Naruto: Guys, I think something is wrong with Kakashi sensei.
Sakura: Baka, why would you say that?
Naruto: Because he came and woke me up at two-thirty last night, and made out with me!
Sasuke: Hn, dobe.
Naruto: No, I'm serious! Afterwards he fainted saying that I taste like human flesh! I think he might be sick!
Sakura: Stop joking around, baka! He'll punish all of us if he hears you saying that!
Naruto: Fine, don't believe me! (It's the smartest thing you've done yet! Stupid hoe. Wait, no! Don't think that way about Sakura!)
Naruto went to sit down, letting a sinister grin quickly slip on and off his face, before he plopped down next to the bridge. An hour later and Kakashi showed up.
Sakura: Huh, you're not as late as you usually are.
Kakashi: Hm, oh well.
Sakura: Hey, Naruto was saying some really bad stuff about you!
Naruto: (F***ing snitch! No, wait, I can't think that about Sakura!)
" That stupid hag just tattled on you! So much for team efforts! She's just another stool pigeon."
Kakashi turned to look at Naruto.
Kakashi: Oh? What did he say?
Naruto: The truth! (Lie.)
Sakura: He said you came to his house in the middle of the night and started kissing him!
Kakashi: Hmm, that is a tall tale.
Naruto: It's the truth! Do you really not remember anything?! (I sure hope not. Sin erased his memories and all!)
Kakashi: Naruto, can you come with me for a minute?
Sakura: Ha! You're in trou-
A Face-less Faces appeared and disappeared before her eyes, causing her to scream and fall down. Sasuke shook his head, and Kakashi raised a brow while Naruto just grinned. Ignoring Sakura, Naruto got up and followed Kakashi to a small alleyway, not too far from the bridge.
Kakashi: I'm sorry.
Naruto: It's fine, I think.
Kakashi: No, it's not. If I ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable like that again, you have every right to punch me and scream for help.
Naruto: Okay. (Oh, I was more than comfortable... Gah! The dirty thoughts are back! Get out!) Does this mean I get to punch you when you make me weed crap?
Kakashi: Not that kind of uncomfortable.
Naruto: Darn.
Kakashi: Now that we've got that out of the way, lets not keep the team waiting any longer.
The two walked back to the bridge, to see Sakura rocking in the feedle position and Sasuke not caring.
Kakashi: Sakura, stop that. We're going to go get another mission today, so come on.
Naruto went and helped Sakura up, because Sasuke is a douche that doesn't help anyone, and all three genin left with their jounin instructor. It was another long day of picking weeds and picking up garbage. It would have had baby-sitting jobs, but Naruto had given all the children he watched nightmares. Needless to say, they didn't do kid watching anymore. At the end of the day, Naruto purposely went to a shady part of town, knowing the cheap bars there would be serving a lot of the jinchuuriki haters, and waited for night to fall.
He waited and waited, and grinned when a group of five staggered ou of the bar and looked at him. They grew angry and shouted 'demon'. Naruto's smile only grew. The boy darted back into the alley he had hid in, and sure enough, his victims followed. As soon as they stepped into the shadows, they were wrapped by the long sheet of the scroll, unable to scream as they were absorbed. Naruto, patting himself on the back, placed the scroll back in its rightful place and started walking back home.
" Hmm, you've gathered quite a few sacrifices these past few days."
Naruto: I know, right? Who knew being hated would actually have its up-sides?
" Yes, the nexus point should be big enough to let, 'him', through."
Naruto was just arriving at his home.
Naruto: Who?
" The Butcher."
Naruto froze as his hand rested on the door-knob.
Naruto: ... I'm not going in there.
" You'll have to go in there eventually. Where will you sleep?"
Naruto: I've slept outside before.
" So you would want him to hunt you down, rip off your clothes, rape you and lord knows what in public? My, I never knew you were so kinky!"
Naruto: Oh gawd! He really would do that, wouldn't he?!
" Well, he has been known to be relentless and gore-loving, he'd probably cut your insides out and screw your entrails."
Naruto: Aaahh! Horrible images! Don't you, EVER, say that again!
" ...Well, are you going to go in there or not?"
Naruto: I'd like to say not, but I don't think I have much of a choice. (Please let me pass out and not be conscious to witness what's about to happen to me!)
" Good shape-shifter."
Naruto turned the handle and opened the door. Nothing happened, so he walked in and shut it behind himself. Still nothing. He walked to his room, and saw all the Face-less Faces, hanging on the wall and, well, butchered! And there, standing in front of the freshly killed one with his back turned to Naruto, was the Butcher himself. He was big, not exactly as big as the Bogeyman, but bigger than Valtiel. He held a large, blood-stained cleaver in one hand, and in the other held organs that must of belonged to the nightmares he had just carved up.
" Ug, stupid brute! I have to fix those!"
The Butcher turned around, and Naruto saw him in all of his bloody glory. The left side of his head was covered with plated metal that folded over one another, while the left side was fleshy and blank, a hole where an ear would have been the only thing on that side of his face. He wore a heavily stained apron, with boots and pants that were equally stained. Naruto blinked, and was suddenly slammed onto the bed the same way the Bogeyman had.
The Butcher pressed down in warning, before standing up straight and letting him go. The Butcher took off the strap from around his neck, letting his apron fall and hang around his hips. He then plucked a small knife from off of the bedside table, and cut deeply into his chest. Once the cut was big enough, he tore his flesh aside, just enough so his hand could plunge in, the sound of cracking ribs filled the room. The Butcher dug through his chest, until he yanked out his still beating heart.
Naruto: Holy s***! Can he do that?!
" I guess so."
The Butcher growled, before shoving his heart into Naruto's gaping mouth. Naruto choked, his jaw came slightly unhinged and the flesh of his cheeks tore a bit, but he managed to swallow the heart. Whole. Naruto's mouth healed seconds after the heart was swallowed, and so did the Butcher's chest. Naruto looked down at the Butcher's lower torso, grinning when he saw a large bulge sitting proudly in-between his legs.
Naruto: I'm still hungry. Is there anything else you have that you want me to eat? (Oh nononononononono! No! If I can get away with just swallowing his nasty, maggot infest heart, then I would totally like to skip the raping!)
The Butcher gave a low rumble, before jerking Naruto's head down to where his arousal was.
Naruto: (Oh gawd, here it comes...*cries*)
Naruto grinned even bigger, before lifting his hands up to the Butcher's waist, and tugging down his pants and apron.
The Next Morning
Naruto was actually late, which wasn't saying good things for his poor behind.
Naruto: That was worse than the Bogeyman! I didn't think anybody would be worse than the Bogeyman!
"Well. it did look uncomfortable when he started shoving organs up your-"
Naruto: Okay! Dropping the subject now!
Naruto arrived at the usual meeting place for his team, and he saw Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi, of all people, waiting for him.
Sakura: You're late! What the heck were you doing you baka?!
Naruto: Well, I ate the heart of this dude, and he was so turned on about watching me swallow the organ whole, he raped me until I was late. (Oh, please don't let them believe that! Oh please merciful God!)
Sakura: Pfft, you're already being tainted by Kakashi sensei!
Naruto: (Thank you! Thank you lord above!)
Kakashi: Naruto, could you come with me for a minute?
Naruto gulped, but nodded anyway. Sakura was about to mock him, but a Face-less Faces appeared and Disappeared again, making her go back into the feedle position. Once out of ear-shot, Kakashi turned around and gave Naruto a serious look.
Kakashi: Naruto, has some one been forcing themselves on you?
Naruto: (Oh crap! I can't let him find out!) Yes. (What did I just say?!)
Kakashi: Naruto, who is it? I'll go and take care of it.
Naruto: ... He wore a mask, and simply called himself the Butcher. Other than that, I know nothing more. (Why don't we go ahead and tell him we like to fondle ourselves to the thought of him naked? Oh gawd, don't tell him that! It's not true!)
Kakashi: Naruto, do you want to stay with me? Just until we can catch this guy?
Naruto: (Oh no! They'll rape poor Kakashi sensei! ...Stop smiling on the inside! I can see you!) No thank you sensei, I'll be fine.
Kakashi: Are you sure?
Naruto: Don't worry about me! This wouldn't be the first- whoops. (Way to go, genius! Let's give you the medal of stupidity!)
Kakashi: This has happened more than once?! Is it the same man, or were there others?!
Naruto: Just two other people, I swear! Don't worry about me! I'll be fine!
Kakashi: But-!
Naruto: Look, I've been taking care of myself for this long, I'll continue to care of myself for longer.
Kakashi: ... If you're sure.
Naruto: I'm sure.
Naruto and Kakashi walked back to the team, Kakashi making Sakura snap out of it. They then went on to retrieve their mission for the day, never knowing that it would be 'the' mission they had been waiting for.
Chapter 4
End
Well, there we go. Again, I'm sorry if anything in this story offended you. If you find this story too much to handle, please find a more pleasant story to read. I'm not being mean, just trying to save your sanity. For those of you who don't have sanity, please keep on reading! I'm starting to feel sick though, so not sure how much I'll be typing. (That, and I have to go visit my Grandpa's and sister's houses too. Stay for a month or two. *sigh*)