Hi! Sorry for not updating (not just this fanfic, but the others alike) for very long. Had kind of a writers block. But I hope it's over now, and I hope that I will be updating more often.
I wrote this one-shot after... well, the idea just popped into my mind really.
Synopsis: She still loved him, she didn't want to, but she did. And now she'd told the truth, to the one that silently loved her. And she had destroyed him by the end of the meaning.
She had made a mistake, such a terrible mistake. She'd let the words slip, the words that were the thoughts that had been circulating in her mind since she'd left. It was forbidden, it was wounding and it was wrong. But she'd let the three words out, let them stroke her lips in an impulsive way, she hadn't thought before she acted. That was the way now, wasn't it? Acting as though no consequences existed. Leaving the one you love behind, for the one that do not express feelings, only hatred and an urge for power.
She had thought it was great at first to leave, that it was the perfect revenge. She wanted him to suffer, for what he'd done to her, to be a wreck. But she realised that what she'd done flashed back on herself, leaving her in a state that was guilt and longing, self-hatred and sorrow. Everything had gone wrong, because of the feelings that she still kept, locked in a safe, far back in her mind.
She had tried to reason with herself, tried to get those emotions away. Tried to eliminate them, for all eternity. Those like her should not even have been knowing how it felt in the first place, not have experienced it. It should've vanished when her heart turned to stone, and her breaths were not needed, but it hadn't – it had not even faded, it was stronger than ever. It was impossible to ignore.
That was why she had done it, it had been too much, too overwhelming. Flooded all her senses, drowned all her sense. It had been a fight, a sword-battle of sharp words. He had been battling with the fiercest of weapons, and she had not fought much at all. She had almost surrendered, when he told the words that were so strong that she couldn't hold it in anymore. She had hurt him deeply, she could see it in his eyes. He did love her, despite the way he treated her, she could see that now. If only she felt the same, then she hadn't been slicing his unbeating heart in smithereens. But she had said it.
"I want him"
What did you think about this? There are maybe something wrong about the grammar here and there, but I am bad at grammar... just accept it. Though, still, I am a grammar-freak, and how those two facts fit together is unknown by any creature.
Please review, and thanks for reading xx