Omake

The Lord of the Rings: The Red Hunter

Disclaimer: Neither The Lord of the Rings nor Devil May Cry belong to me.

"If by my life or death I can protect you," Aragorn pledged, "I will." The Ranger strode up to the hobbit, kneeling so that their faces were equal, taking one of his hands. "You have my sword.

"And you have my bow." One of the elves said, joining the Ranger, the hobbit and the grey wizard in the center of the circle around them.

"And my axe." The dwarf Gimli promised, also joining them.

"And my sword." An unknown voice called out. The Council looked about, before suddenly a truly enormous black blade shot down out of the sky to stab right in front of the group that was forming about the hobbit. A mere second later, a strange white-haired Man in a red coat of some sort landed atop its hilt, standing adroitly with such balance that not even elves could match before dropping down, drawing the sword out of the stone ground and holstering it in some sort of harness on his back. "And my handguns." He continued, drawing and flourishing a pair of some strange metal items, one black and one white. "And my tri-section nunchaku. And my electric guitar. And my kick-ass glowing light gauntlet-and-greaves set. And my fire-and-wind scimitars. And my shotguns, my .50-caliber anti-materiel rifle, and the grenade launcher. My needlegun. And my lightning sword, my fire gauntlets. This nice set of really cool armor that I got from Fortuna. Oh, and this awesome blade-spamming backpack."

"…That's quite the arsenal you bring with you sir." One of the other humans, a Boromir from Gondor, said sarcastically. "And pray tell how you intend to lug this about?"

"Oh, I got it all right here." The red-clad man said cheerily, before starting to pull an impossible amount of items from inside his coat. Pretty soon, the ground was covered in an assortment of deadly-looking items, from sets of gauntlets and greaves, to some strange metal things that looked like tubular crossbows without the bows. The Council, for the most part, were agape in awe. "Now, I got like three sets of gauntlets and greaves, so I suppose I can lend you guys some."

"Master Dante, this is…" Gandalf, apparently the reason for the man being there, started before he got interrupted.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now, I don't suppose on the way to this 'Mordor' place we could make a short detour to this place called 'Moria'? Your boss Eru, this 'Ill Avatar' guy, wants me to get rid of some sort of pest or whatever that's set up shop there, something called a…" Dante frowned, fishing about in one of the pockets of his coat before withdrawing a small sheet of parchment. "A…Balrog?"

Moria
A week or so later

"What are you doing!" Gandalf shouted back at Dante. The red-coated Devil Hunter wasn't fleeing with them. Quite the opposite, he was standing and glancing towards the ominous light that was approaching them.

"Doing your boss a favor!" Dante shouted back. The source of the light appeared then, moving between the pillars of the Dwarrowdelf. Moments later, the Balrog, a creature of darkness wreathed in shadow and flame, appeared in plain sight, moving towards the Fellowship with all the speed its form could grant it.

"Heh, this should be fun." Dante grinned, drawing his huge sword, Rebellion, from his back.

Five minutes, twenty-one seconds later

The Goblin horde, sure that the intruders had been slain by the creature that they feared and followed, moved towards where the Balrog's darkness had been before dissipating, hoping to recover scraps from the Fellowship's corpses. Instead, they found the Fellowship gathered about the head of Durin's Bane, atop which sat a human in red with a sword that was as long as he was tall stabbed into the Balrog's head, right between the horns.

"Oh look." Dante said with a wide, gleeful grin. "Company." He drew Rebellion from the Balrog with a sickening keen, flipping the enormous blade about and pointing at the closest Goblin. "How's about a party then?" The Goblins took one look at him and the Balrog's body before turning and scrambling back up the pillars and into their holes.

- The Devil -

It is my deepest sorrow to report that Knightmare Gundam of Ni, the author of this pathetic story, has died and gone to Hell. There, he is tormented hourly by Diablo the Third, even as he fights in the Third Battlefield. Translation: He's playing both the Diablo 3 Beta and the Battlefield 3 Beta. Be glad I cared enough to upload this Omake for the lazy bastard.

- Vergil