Sorry about this chapter taking so long. This chapter is not my best but I hope you still enjoy it. please leave feed back i always love hearing from you

The hall way seems cramped and dark as the sound of foot steps grew heavier. I sweat from my brow and my breathing is labored but I try to stay quiet, I know that he is here, Jacob. I peer out from the classroom, I sought refuge in but it's only a matter of time before he finds me. He looks mad and his fists clench and unclench as I see him search for me.

"Ana! I'm going to find you!" he sisterly and I had to stop myself from screaming. It's only a matter of time before he sees me and death is knocking at my door step. He will beat me till I die. I want to live, to see Christian again, to hold him, make love to him. I searched in my pocket for my phone but nothing can be found. No one is going to save me, it's hopeless. I start to panic a bit but I need to stay quiet, or else.

The footsteps came closer and my breathing grew heavier. Jacob stopped in front of the door. I screamed, but quickly covered my mouth. I heard laughter followed by loud knocks and he knew he had me. "Let me in you crazy, fucking bitch!" The screams were deafening and I saw no way out of this terrifying experience.

"Help! Please god someone help me!" I screamed the same words over and over but no one heard me. I am never getting out of this alive. I fell to the ground and clamped my hands over my ears to drown out the noise crying so hard that I could see nothing in front of me.

The door could not hold and started to give with each impact of his fist. I pleaded for someone to find me but it falls on deaf ears. There is no one here but me and him. I began to pray to a god that has let me down so many times. Right now though, I needed something to hold on too. Something that would let me know I was going to be okay. The door finally broke and I slid back on the tile floor, only to catch myself against a desk. He walked toward me with the devil in his eyes and pulled me up by my hair.

"You like this don't you? Dirty bitch, You know this turns you on." he said

"Please God!"

"Ana!" I heard. It's Christian. "Ana, baby please wake up" I could hear his voice and I tried in vain to get my eyes open. This is a dream Jacob is not here and this is all a dream. My body felt the warmth of his embrace and I fluttered my eyes open to see the panic in his eyes looking back at me. "Jesus baby you scared me. The dreams are getting more frequent."

My body was limp and sweat drenched from the terror of the dream. The ceiling of our newly decorated bedroom staring back at me.

"I love you Christian" I finally said as I held him tighter in my arms.

"I love you too Anastasia" he kissed my forehead and let go heading to the kitchen of our studio apartment. It's been three weeks since we moved into our apartment above the garage of the Kavanaugh's house. It was Ethan's bachelor pad but gave it up when he realized he was not going to be coming back from college as much. When I expressed my interest with living in the same house as Christian my adoptive family threw a fit and came to a compromise with me. The Grey's were different in their reaction and offered to have us live in their guest house but lost the battle when my family insisted we move into the studio above the garage.

Christian came back to bed with a glass of water and my sleeping pill. Dr. Flynn has been concerned with my sleep habits or lack of and prescribed a heavy dose of medication to help my eyes rest. I refuse to take it though and whenever I do sleep I am met with terrifying dreams of Jacob. I took my pill and laid back down in our bed. Christian came back and wrapped himself around be trying to comfort my still beating heart. My lids became heavy and the deep sleep with no Jacob was a welcome relief.

It is a Saturday and usually I like to head out with Kate to go shopping or out to lunch but today is not a good day for me. Christian has intercepted her all day but finally Kate came knocking on the door. I laid there in my usual depression while Christian walked out to speak with her. She knows things have been hard for me and as the nightmares seem to get progressively worse I sink deeper down the rabbit hole.

"She wants you to call her" he said when he walked back into the apartment. He came and sat next to me holding my body in his arms as I breathed in his wonderful Christian scent. I love this man with all my heart and out of our two broken hearts have become one.

Christian sighed and looked down, concern filled his eyes. "Would you like to talk about your dream last night?" he asked

I don't want to say the dream out loud. Some how it makes them real and my panic just grows larger.

I shook my head and he mirrored in frustration. Something has changed, nothing has been right since the incident and our relationship is taking a toll because of it. I really don't want to lose Christian but if I don't change, then I'm afraid I will.

We laid in bed for the rest of the day talking, I made more of an effort but I just go through the motions. We made love and that seems to be the only time I really feel alive. Other then that I am numb to the pain, numb to my emotions. We kissed and held each other savoring every minute of happiness Christian seems to give me.

Monday came and school was the same thing it always is. I go to my respective classes and catch glimpses of my man in the halls and our class. The butterflies in my belly when I see him makes me crazy with love. I want to marry him. I want this promise ring to mean something more. I see ourselves growing old and having children. I need to get better for him.

Christian smiles every time he sees me. There is always a point in the day when he'll come up and kiss the back of my neck or whisper something sweet in my ear. They all mean so much to me. These stolen little moments between us make all the bad things go away. The memories of Ray and Jacob, seem to be put on the back burner until he leaves.

I turn around to kiss him and he returns the favor, his grey eyes looking into my blue. "I promise I will be everything for you when I get better" His smile turns to a frown when he registers my words.

"Ana, you already are. I love you so intensely with all my heart, I can't imagine a world without you." he said after kissing me. "Just try getting rid of me" I laughed and he smiled. Laughing felt so good, it was something I didn't really do anymore. Christian kissed me and we parted.

When I get home from school I walked into my living room and dusted off my record player putting on some Carol King. The entire Tapestry record plays as I laid on the floor of my little studio apartment. My breathing slowed when I finally found a comfortable place and let the music take over. Carol's songs seem to capture my mood of the moment. Her cool voice and smooth melodies calm my nerves. The entire day just melts away and I feel the music. Christian is late tonight because of his session with Dr. Flynn so I let myself have some me time with my music. Soon the melody of the music soothed me to sleep.

I wake up to Christian moving me from the floor to the bed and he kissed me on my temple. I hear him move around in the apartment when my record changes to George Harrison's All Things Must Pass and "I'd Have You Anytime" plays. The song makes me cry, my heart has always found peace in music. This is my therapy. With simple lyrics and an enchanting melody I know Christian is pleading with me to let him in.

I rested my forearm on my eyes and tried to hold my composer. He hears me cry but nothing is said and I appreciate it. The song ends and I sit myself up my eyes puffy and red he is right there with a cup of tea. I sip it, and sigh, my man knows me so well.

"Would you like to talk about anything." he said to me, hope written across his face.

I placed the tea cup on my lips. I have to do this now."I love you, and I know that I have to let you into my life. We were so open before, but since the attack with Jacob, I have been closed off and not happy with myself. I know by acting this way I will push you away eventually." He moved to speak but I continued. "Please don't say that it would never happen, I just know better. I want to make this work and I know now that I can't just expect things to work out, I have to work at it with you. I really want to spend the rest of my life with you and in order to do that, I have to communicate with you." I lifted my head up to look at him. I see this beautiful man before me and know that there is no place I'd rather be than right here right now, with him.

"I love you Ana, you are my world. This thing that you are going through right now we will get past it. I want to get married, have children, grow old together." He smiled and continued "This is where I want to be, right here with you. Someday you and I will be far away from here, free from our past."

I love Christian he makes me so happy. I know we are young but you know when you know. Ray's death was a terrible thing to happen in my life but had that not happened then Christian would not be in my life. This is soon going to be over when Christian graduates and we will have to deal then. It is just another hurdle in this race we are running.

I watched Christian walk over to my record player and place a new record in the player. Elvis' "Can't Help Falling in Love" plays and he saunters over to me. He takes my hand and helps me up. We began to dance and the rest of the world shut out. Christian kissed me and charge zipped through me again. I smiled and placing my head on his chest. This is home Christian is everything I need. In this moment it seems like nothing could break us, nothing.