Warning: Homophobic language.

CHAPTER EIGHT

He's not in the loop yet, but he recognizes the signs. Something is up with his dad and Claire. The whole going silent when he enters the room, the worried looks between them. And he's pretty sure Claire's been crying. What it means is that they've not worked through whatever it is yet. Last time it had been them telling him Claire was pregnant. The time before that, they were getting married. He's not going to worry about whatever it is until they actually tell him. Anyway, he has other things on his mind.

He's buried his realization about Kurt. Rather, his feelings for Kurt. He's had a crush on him before, the unhealthy obsessive type of interest, which he'd gotten over. Now though he knows it's different, because he can actually call Kurt a friend. And he's not going to muck that up by screwing around and imagining impossible things. So, burying it is his only option. Mainly because he'd refused to let himself deny it.

It's Christmas break, and it's going to be good for one thing if nothing else, and that's distance from Honey. She's been angling for him to have a New Year's party, or for him to go with her to one being organized by another cheerleader, telling him it's time for a new start blah blah blah. He'd tried insisting that he is actually gay and she'd gotten angry with him. Short of making out with Nathan he's not sure what could convince her, and he's definitely not making out with Nate.

Nate's gone back to New York for the holidays and he misses his easy-going presence already, plus the fact that he gets on with Az as well, which had been a surprise. Although according to Az Nathan had been a cake walk compared to trying to make Kurt like him. He didn't point out that Az hasn't yet apologized to Kurt and given their history it's understandable things are a little strained.

The hockey team still has practice, although it's fairly informal. It's more like a couple of friendly games while they're on break, so he's headed along to the rink for their first meet up and is hoping Honey doesn't know about it, because she'd turn up. Their goalie has gone to Colorado for the break, so he's invited Az along. Although he can't skate, he can stand in the goal wearing pads and take a battering, he's done it since they were kids and he just has to remember not to laugh at him as he hobbles out to the goal.

There are skaters using the main rink, but he knows there's some type of arrangement with the hockey coaches and the rink to allow for practice time. He spies Az watching from the side and walks up, giving him a shoulder bump.

"Hey man."

"Hey. Anyone we know out there?"

"Oh, only half of Nude Erections. Can I still call them that?"

Dave rolls his eyes, because Az can still be so juvenile, and the purpose of sitting with them at lunch is clearly going right over his head. He glances toward the rink, and sure enough he can spy Rachel Berry, Santana and Brittany holding hands, Hudson, a couple of people he doesn't recognize but are clearly part of the same group. And Kurt.

"Dude, call them what you want, but if you're trying to befriend them then you probably shouldn't."

"Yeah. Probably…"

He heads into the locker room, Az following, and changes fast. Az huffs beside him, and he realizes it's the first time he's been in a locker-room with another guy who knows he's gay. Well, except for kissing Kurt that one time, but Kurt isn't one of his team mates. There are other guys there, Terence, who he introduces to Az. He catches Az's roll of the eyes as he grabs his shoulder pads and tightens the Velcro before hitting him hard on the shoulders.

"Good?"

"Yeah. Thanks," and it's a silent conversation, and maybe he's not given Az enough credit, because that little exchange means a lot. Now that he thinks about it Az knew for ages and still continued changing in the locker room with him. Thinking back he can't remember him suddenly only changing in the cubicle, or being freaked out, so if he did freak out, and Az says he did, then it was silent and internal. He's grateful for that. They walk back out to the rink fully fitted out and he stores his bag under a chair and glances toward the rink again. About six others are already out on the ice, and some of the public are still there. Kurt is skating circles around Hudson, laughing up at him while he looks annoyed about something.

"Boy, you got it bad…" Az says and he looks away from the rink.

"Shut up Zee."

"Oh, you're not denying it. Can I give you shit about it now?"

"Look. It's complicated. Can you just, I don't know, drop it? Please?"

"Fuck man, you ruin all my fun," Az mutters, but he goes silent, and he's grateful, because Kurt's seen him and waved, already skating toward him and stepping off gracefully, because of course Kurt would know how to skate and be graceful.

"Hey Kurt…"

"Hey Dave. Azimio. How are you?"

"Good thanks. Just here for practice."

"Have you switched teams there Azimio?" Kurt asks, lips curled in a slight smile at the double meaning and okay, he suddenly gets why he still annoys Az.

"It's unofficial practice," Az mutters and Dave gives Kurt a look, although he's not exactly sure what he's trying to convey. He knows Kurt is trying to wind Az up, but it's probably still too early for that type of friendship between them.

"So, you guys off now then?" Dave asks, breaking the almost staring match between his two unlikely friends.

"Hmm? Yeah. Going to go to the Lima Bean, relax and warm up. Some hockey team has the rink for the rest of the afternoon…" Kurt lets out a put upon sigh and he laughs and shakes his head, because this is good, that Kurt seems to be able to make fun of him. He's pretty sure their friendship is more than ready for it. They start moving toward the edge of the ice, helmets and sticks in hand.

"Yeah, bunch of inconsiderate puck heads…"

"Exactly. I'm glad you can appreciate my plight. Anyway, I'll let you go and join the afore mentioned puck heads on the ice. I'll see you later. Azimio."

Kurt grins at him and nods sharply at Az before striding over to where the rest of his friends are waiting, watching him and Az with a variety of expression from curiosity to confusion. He wonders if Kurt's told them that he hangs out with him on a regular basis, although if Az is having lunch with them maybe it doesn't seem so odd. He shrugs and puts it in the too-hard basket for now.

He steps onto the ice, doing up his helmet and pulling on gloves and trying to ignore Az clinging to the side. Carl skates over, eyes on something behind him and he points with his stick. and and senses another body beside him

"You know that fairy?" Carl asks, jerking his chin in the same direction his stick is pointing. He doesn't need to turn around to know he has to be pointing at Kurt, but he looks over his shoulder. He could say anything, apart from Az no one else would hear him, except he doesn't deny things. He opens his mouth to say that Kurt's a friend but is beaten to it.

"That fairy is actually a good friend of his. So don't call him that. Also, I'm Zee, another good friend of his. I'm going to play goalie."

The sheer bulk of Az is impressive, and he does a seriously awesome intimidating face, except it's all shot to hell when Az unbalances and falls to the ice. Fortunately Terence comes over and pulls him up effortlessly. Between Az and Terence Dave feels positively dainty in comparison. He looks to Carl whose lip is curled in a sneer before he shrugs and mutters 'whatever' before skating off.

"Kurt's a friend huh?" Dave asks, looking at Az sideways.

"Yeah, he brought me cake. He's not all bad…"

LSY

Christmas is more relaxed then Thanksgiving. Carole and his dad have somehow managed to fool the grandparents into thinking the other set is coming, which has resulted in neither of them coming. Of course, it's going to backfire come the next holiday and they actually talk to each other again. He fully expects his dad to be on the receiving end of an ear bashing when that happens and he secretly hopes he's around to see it.

He's having a sleepover with Mercedes, Santana, Brittany and Rachel. Rachel who he fully expects will no doubt sneak off to Finn's room the second she thinks they're all asleep but he can't bring himself to care. This is his mock New Year's Eve, because he's not going to Rachel's party. He's not ready to be around the combination of Blaine and alcohol. He's pretty sure that Blaine wouldn't try anything, but he doesn't know, he can't guarantee that type of thing, and at this stage he's not willing to risk it. For all he knows Blaine might never drink again, but regardless he needs to feel in control, and at Rachel's he simply wouldn't be.

They're watching movies, eating junk and talking about boys, although he's not contributing much on that front. Mercedes seems to be waffling between Shane and Sam, and he couldn't care less really, but he makes appropriate noises, wondering if his dad knows that Santana and Brittany are a couple and that there's probably going to be more teenage hormones running rampant tonight under his roof than he'd like.

"So, you seemed pretty buddy-buddy with Karofsky the other day…"

"We're friends now. Why is that so strange?"

"The sight of you talking calmly to Dave and Azimio Adams will always be strange okay? I felt like I had slipped into an alternate world or something."

"Well, they're both sort of friends now. Dave definitely. Azimio…"

"He acts like he's protecting you or something. Think Dave put him up to it? Seeing as he's not at McKinley anymore and he was always pretty intense when it came to the Bully Whips and protecting you."

He frowns, because as nice as it might sound, he doesn't need or want protection. Not from anyone. He doesn't get that vibe from Azimio, although he does from Dave occasionally, but he'd thought it was just friendly concern. He can deal with that, especially seeing as his type of concern is quiet and understated. Unlike Rachel's over-the-top exclamations and incessant need to reassure him over every little thing.

The following day it's still niggling at him, wondering if maybe Dave is using Azimio to ensure his safety around McKinley or whether it's just coincidence. He knows he needs to find out and he sends Dave a quick message, asking him if he's home. He gets an affirmative answer and leaves the house, calling out to Carole where he's going and pulls up outside the now familiar house and skips up the steps.

"Hey, how are you?" Dave asks, smiling when he opens the door.

"Good. Look, I have a question… did you ask Azimio to befriend me?"

"Uh, no. I think you kind of befriended him first."

"What? No I didn't!"

"Uh, you kind of did. I mean, first you get him and me to be friends again, and then you gave him cake."

"I… did do those things. But he's still sitting with us at lunch every day!"

"I told you already, he's just… trying to make amends or something? I don't know…"

"Yeah, well, it's weird…"

"I'll tell him you said so."

"Right… so you've not told him to keep an eye on me or anything a la Bullywhips style type thing?"

Dave laughs and looks at him incredulously.

"Seriously? When you have the rest of the glee club watching your back? I think you're the only reason Az hasn't been cornered and threatened and asked what he's up to by the guys."

"Oh," Kurt murmurs, and Dave kind of does have a point. "Sorry, it was just something Santana said yesterday. I've over thought it. Clearly." For some reason it stings a little that Dave isn't actively protecting him by asking Az to keep an eye on him, which is just stupid, and he shakes the feeling away. "So, what are you doing for New Year's?"

Dave laughs and mutters something about not-so-subtle changes of topic and he shrugs, because he doesn't want to dwell on little stinging sensations of emotion anyway.

"It's going to sound lame, but I'm staying home. I'm baby sitting. That's my cover story anyway."

"Okay… why do you need a cover story?"

"Uh, the cheerleaders have organized this big party and that girl, uh, Honey? The one I told you about?"

"The one who doesn't believe that you're gay?"

"Yeah. Well, she's been pretty insistent that I go. So I'm pulling the my family needs me card. She thinks it's time I got over Santana, new start blah blah blah."

Kurt laughs at the bored and slightly irritated tone of Dave's voice.

"So, are you seriously staying here alone?"

"No. I have a couple of friends coming over actually. We're going to watch a couple of movies and just hang out…"

"Oh. Sounds fun."

Well, he enjoys spending time with Dave, so it does sound like fun, and he wouldn't mind meeting his other friends, but he's not about to invite himself anywhere, particularly when it might make Dave uncomfortable. Although he doesn't think it would, but he doesn't want to chance it.

"Yeah, we hung out a couple of weeks ago. The night Santana came around actually. I feel like I'm forming a circle of friends. It's nice. I don't have to pretend with them…"

"Oh…" And now the way Dave is talking makes him feel like he's not part of that circle, although he knows Dave considers him a friend. "Is Az going?"

"Pfft. No. Az has his limits." Kurt bites his lip, because he's pretty sure that he's one of those limits. "What are you doing? Big party?"

"Uh, no, not exactly… Rachel's throwing a party. I'm, um, not going."

"What? Why not?"

"Blaine will be there."

"I thought you guys were… able to be in the same room."

"Same room, yes. While at school and in an educational environment. This would be… social. I don't want to socialize with him." That's too much, and maybe that's what has been bugging him, because it feels right now that he's voiced it aloud to Dave. It isn't the chance of anything happening, it's the social setting and the fact that Rachel seems to think he'd want to socialize with Blaine. That everything seems to think that he'd be okay with it. Well he's not.

"Have you told him that? Because I'm pretty sure he'd bail if you asked."

"No. No. I don't want to go anyway, everyone's planning on drinking and…"

And he doesn't want to rip the glee club up with its already precarious situation of being newly reformed. There's enough drama there without him adding to it.

"Yeah. Fair enough. And Puckerman will probably score some weed. Yeah. Look, you want to come hang out here…? I mean, it's a mix of math geeks and drama geeks that are coming. Maybe my mate Terence, but he'll probably make a showing at the other party first…"

It's the invitation he'd been waiting for, but he really doesn't know if Dave means it or is offering it up out of pity. He bites back a sigh before thanking him for the invite and asking if he can think about. Then he changes the subject again.