Heroes of the Past and Present

Disclaimer: Do not own Victorious, do not own the video game

A/N:

Chapter 23 (A Shared Pain)

"What do you want?" Meredith scowled as the group entered the room. The tall, armor-clad blonde woman was standing over her desk. Her palms were flat on her desk, fingers tapping the surface. She had a red hood that covered her head, and deadly blue eyes that popped out from her face and drew attention away from the crow's feet and the dark circles surrounding them.

"Just wanted to get this off my chest," Trina began to feel pity on Meredith and for the first time in her life, felt she could truly side with the woman. Not saying that she thought mages needed to die or anything, she didn't believe that, just as Aveline said Sarah didn't truly feel that way either. Now, it was truly tempting to try and 'fix' the past, but she was not going to do such a thing. "I want you to know, I'm on your side where Orsino is concerned."

"That is…good? Were you just the one that stormed into his office and started yelling at him?" Meredith raised an eyebrow at her while the rest of the group flashed her knowing smirks. She folded her arms and lifted her shoulders.

"I am. Someone had to put him in his place after what he's done. He surely doesn't deserve to be First Enchanter, and I wonder just how the people of Kirkwall would react if they knew the things he's done? Would they have him unseated? Would they understand your suffering?"

"What in the hell are you going on about?"

She was hoping the woman was not entirely lost to the idol yet. While it was only a matter of time, if she could get through to her now it was likely that she could find her own ancestor. She took a deep breath and slowly shut the door behind her. "Listen. I know the inevitable can't be prevented, and a war will inevitably break out, but that's not important right now. What is important is, I understand how you feel. I know what the snake in there did to you many years ago…It may sound a little like mages are your scapegoat, but either way…I understand."

Meredith straightened herself and crossed her arms, glaring dangerously into Trina's gaze. "How can you possibly-"

"Elthina confessed to me what she knew." Instantly a flash of pain and grief shot past Meredith's eyes. The woman lowered her arms, and her face scrunched for a split second. It looked as though she was about to fall to her knees, though she made no signal of that happening. It struck her in that moment, the amount of emotions this woman would feel just knowing her son was alive. How could she tell Meredith that her son had someone hostage? Much less, the 'mighty' Champion? What was she to tell a woman that has grieved for her son for over twenty years? "Forgive me for tearing old wounds…you wouldn't happen to have any idea where your son is now?"

"None." She folded her arms back over her chest and walked around the desk, slowly shaking her head. "The Grand Cleric before Elthina was the one that took him away and sent him…to god knows where. What does he matter to you? Also, who are these people with you, they do not seem like your normal companions." Trina looked towards the others and slowly nodded, pointing to each.

"My sister Tori, her friends Cat and Robbie, and Sinjin."

"Your sister? I thought your sister was Bethany, the mage in the circle." She cursed herself mentally and turned back to the woman, unsure how to comment "Anyway, I'm curious still as to why my son matters to you…if Elthina told you, then she broke her oath to Orsino, and I'm assuming she told you about him?"

"Yes, she did, and I understand. Men…They're your problem, trust me. Men are my problem too, just can't seem to find a good one anywhere, and if you do, it's a rarity." She looked to Sinjin with a subtle smirk, earning a smile back. "I guess though, you can't really let one ruin the whole lot for you, I know I'm guilty of doing such a thing."

"What do you mean?" She motioned the others out of the room and each moved to the hallway, with Sinjin giving her one last look in case she needed him in there. She motioned once more and he left. Trina sat on the edge of the desk next to Meredith and leaned back on her palms, sighing heavily as Meredith watched her with suspicious eyes.

"His name…was Michael…we met when I was just fourteen." Maybe this story, as painful as it was to remember, would be able to put some sort of common ground between her and Meredith. Maybe this would get the woman talking, to let down her own walls. "I…I thought he was a sure thing at the time. Charming, had a nice smile, and seemed to get along with all of our classmates. He was everything at that school, the one that everyone looked up to, and I was the one who had a crush on him." Her heart tensed and her head bowed. Tears fought at her eyelids, and she shrugged them off. Meredith's hard expression softened for a second, and the woman sat beside her, staring out at the window in front of them. Sinjin knew of this story, but even still, she didn't want him to be listening to her telling Meredith of it. Not that they weren't listening in from the hallway, anyway. She just wanted a one on one talk with the woman, it would probably be more comfortable for the elder woman. "I was young and naïve, I'll tell you that."

"Why? Seems like he had everything going for him." Her lips thinned and her eyes narrowed, clearly Meredith was taken to thinking back on Orsino. Whenever she was so taken with him.

"It is easy for anyone, man or woman, to conceal who they are at home. In the eyes of the public, they're so built up that they seem almost perfect. Michael? He wasn't perfect, he wasn't even half the man alone than he was in the eyes of everyone else. A dream? Not quite…he was an abusive asshole!" Meredith gasped slightly and Trina slammed a fist on her own leg, growling as rage and pain swept over her. "If I looked away, he hit me…if I didn't tell him where I was or where I was going, he'd get upset. He had to know everything, had to be right, it was just…" Her hand moved to her forehead and a sob left her lips. Meredith hesitated for a second, then moved her hand over to Trina's arm. Try as she might, she was unable to get the rest of her story out, it was too painful for her to bear. "I just…I'm sorry, Meredith…"

"It's okay. If you must know, yes, Orsino and I…had a relationship. If you could call it that."

"I called it a relationship with Michael, because it was." She sniffed and wiped her eyes with her thumb. Her body was trembling, and flashes of her abuser ran rampant in her mind. She took a deep breath to calm herself, but it was almost useless at best. "One of my best friends pulled me out of there…Lindsay. Elthina…Elthina was that friend for you, wasn't she?"

"Yes. I suppose so. She's the one that kept him at bay all these years too. I mean, he's tried to confront me, but never done anything. I suppose he just doesn't want to risk a war-" Meredith shook her head and closed her eyes, her face tensed and a groan fell from her lips. "Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because I want you to know that it's okay to talk, if you need to talk. Lives are at risk as well, but I'm not trying to stop you…I think, however, the reason you hate mages so much is because of him. You had a baby that you loved so much, you protected it when Orsino wanted it dead, but even then, the Grand Cleric before Elthina took it away from you…Mages didn't hurt you, and men…didn't hurt me."

"Meaning?"

"Orsino is at fault for what he did, it wasn't your fault or anyone else. Everyone had a role to play. Michael hurt me, he's at fault for what he did, not all men are at fault."

"I loved the baby, and I thought I loved Orsino too. What about you, did you ever move past that Michael kid? Did you find love again, or is that even possible?" Trina folded her arms across her chest and sighed. Sinjin came to her mind, but with him, fear.

"There is one man that I love, I'll admit, with all my heart. I want to be with him, but relationships…"

"What are you afraid of? Do you think he'd harm you?"

"No. I know he would never hurt me. I'm not afraid of him…I've had so many relationships screw up that, well, I'm messed up. I think it's me, that's the problem. I'm afraid, emotionally and mentally, I would screw something up. I think I'm damaged, that's the problem…"

"I see…" Meredith stood from the desk and moved to the window, leaning against the wall and gazing out with a misty-eyed gaze. "I hid the pregnancy well, being a Templar, the armor was large enough to cover the baby bump I had back then. Some knew of the pregnancy, none knew who the father was. After what Orsino did to me…I couldn't move on. Like you, I was afraid to trust anyone. Even today, I wonder if I'm still damaged, if anyone would want to be around someone like me. I try to perish the thoughts, to not contemplate what I know to be hopeless. You're still young, and there are many men out there that would probably love you, and this man you tell me about…does he know?" She looked over and Trina fought a smile.

"Yes he does, and I know…I can see when he looks at me, he loves me too. Genuinely. I just don't want to be so emotionally screwed up, that I hurt him somehow."

"Why are you so afraid? If it was just one man that hurt you…"

"It was more than that." She pushed herself up and walked to the window, glaring outside. "My sister's friends would tell me how nobody cared for me, seemingly confirming how I felt mentally and emotionally about myself. Even my best friends got tired of my 'pity' after a while and had to leave, so her friends would constantly tell me how I didn't have friends and none of the friends I had cared about me, including Lindsay."

"Don't believe them." Meredith scoffed, smirking slightly. Trina's eyebrows rose as Meredith pushed herself off the wall. "You said Lindsay's the one that helped you get away from Michael…in which case…she must have cared about you. If she didn't, she wouldn't have done anything for you then."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right…" She caught Meredith studying her, eyeing her closely. After a minute, the woman straightened herself and started to frown.

"You're not her, are you. Sarah Hawke. You look a tiny bit different…I've never heard her speak anything of her past, either."

"True. I'm not her, if I told you my connection to her…I'm not so sure you'd believe me, but I am related. She's in danger right now, I'm trying to rescue her…" Meredith opened her mouth in shock, but said nothing. She seemed genuinely concerned, a sign to Trina that there was some of Meredith's soul left inside. The lyrium idol had not destroyed her completely, yet.

"What happened? Do you know? Also…what does my son have to do with any of this?"

"Well…" Now came the hard part, she didn't feel comfortable bringing this up to the woman, as necessary as it was. Meredith appeared to brace herself, as if expecting upsetting news. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, running the possible ways of breaking the news through her mind, followed by conclusions. This woman wasn't going to want to hear her own son might be plotting to harm someone, no mother wanted to hear something so terrible! "A woman…using blood magic…" She spoke slowly, opening her eyes and studying Meredith's face. Meredith put on a serious expression and slowly nodded, possibly expecting the worst to come.

"Blood mages…"

"Yeah, well…this woman came through a portal she created, claimed to be a descendent of yours and Orsino's-"

"A descendent? But ho-" Meredith paused as the color drained from her face. Her trembling hand moved to cover her mouth, and her eyes filled with tears. "N-No, it can't be my son's…no, how could a descendent…"

"Advanced magic from the future, used to open some sort of time portal."

"Time magic?" She lowered her hand and raised an eyebrow at Trina. "Orsino spoke of it years ago, but as something only suggested. He's always wondered about it, but I never thought-"

"It is possible, if he researched, that his notes were passed down from generation. Or at the very least, your son is the one researching. I spoke with Orsino, he didn't seem to know where the boy is at…and I suspect you don't either?"

"No, I don't know anything. You think a descendent took the Champion?"

"Yes. I know it's hard to talk about, and the reason I bring it up is because this descendent said they sent Sarah's body, paralyzed, to her ancestor."

"So it only makes sense…You'd ask Orsino or myself…"

"Right, and since neither of you know anything of what happened, that means your son is probably out there. I know no mother wants to think her child is capable of doing wrong, but if it's even a remote possibility, then we need to find your son. Would you…be willing to help? I mean, if anything, you'd see your son again."

"I don't know…" Meredith rubbed her chin and narrowed her eyes, flinching as if something were troubling her. Perhaps it was the thought that her child, or descendents, were mages? Perhaps she was conflicted in regards to finding her son? "It would be amazing to see my own son again, but if what you say is true and he has taken the Champion hostage…I don't know…"

"Well, at the very least, if you have some idea where she might be…we would appreciate the help."

"Right. Then, I'll be there…I will try to hold off, if at all possible, on certain issues. I respect Sarah's advice and do not like to act before seeking her and Elthina out."

"Great! So, I'll be in touch then. Also, if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to let me know. My name is Trina, by the way."

"All right. I will be in touch." The two shook hands, then Trina made her way out of the room. She looked to Sinjin, Tori, and the others and gave them a tiny smile when she saw their contemplation. Sinjin looked gravely concerned, he reached out for her hand and she gently placed hers in his.

"Are you all right? Do you want to talk later?" She felt a surge of love warming her heart as she listened to the compassion in his voice, followed only by the same crippling fear of her own emotions.

"I'm fine," she replied while still holding onto her smile, despite the pain she felt in trying to resist opening herself up completely to him. There was hardly time, anyhow. She drew in a breath and pulled her hand away, motioning for them to follow as she walked down the corridor. "Seems Meredith doesn't know what's going on with this son of hers, but she's willing to help look for Sarah. She's going to hold off on governance as much as she can until we can find her…let's just hope Orsino can keep his ass quiet and not start any riots while we're looking."

"Might be too much to hope for," Tori muttered. Andre agreed and Robbie shrugged his shoulders. They were right, Trina knew it was too much to ask that Orsino not stir the city mages and dwellers into action, but it was all they could hope for in this moment. More important things were at stake.

Trina has managed to reach Meredith in the part that hasn't been infected by all the anger, rage, and depressions. There won't be much change in the future for it, but at the very least it is something. What are your thoughts?