Chapter 6

"Please Tell Me"

Edd's POV

"I honestly want to kill him. How dare he lie to my face and say he had plans when I know damn well he didn't!" I screamed into the phone.

"Chill, sockhead. Who cares anyway? Not like that dork is worth being angry over." Eddy laughed on the other end of the line and I groaned.

"You obvioulsy don't know what I'm going through, imbecile." I growled.

"Ooo, tone down the 'tude, princess. Just, I don't know. See if he leaves his house or something today. Then you'll know if he lied or not. I mean, you live across the street from him for God's sake." Eddy laughed again, and I hung up on him. I couldn't be that creepy, could I?

I peeked through the blinds of my window. 'His car is still there..' But I spoke too soon. Just as I was about to look away, he walks outside. He was wearing the same attire he wore to Bella's show.

"No fucking way!" I yelled at my window. I watched him pull away in his car and I clenched my fists. That's exactly where he was going. He wouldn't wear those clothes anywhere else. But damn, I wish he would. Those jeans fit him in all the right places.

I smiled to myself and pulled out my phone. Little did Kevin know, I started to talk to that tramp more. I've been friendly to her so I could actually get her number. You know, in case something like this would happen.

'Hey dollface. It's Eddward.'

'Oh, hey! Wats up?'

I groaned at her spelling. Jesus Christ, learn to spell right…

'You have a show today, correct?'

'Yup! It's at the same venue it was last time!'

I smiled. 'Perfect. Thanks doll.'

I put my phone away and headed out to my garage to get on my bike. I grabbed my helmet and started up my bike. I pulled out my driveway and sped out through the cul-de-sac. Once I hit the freeway, I was going at least 15 miles over the speed limit. I love riding on the freeway. It honestly makes me feel like I'm flying, and I love it.

The entire ride there, all I could think about was Kevin. I just can't get him out of my mind. There's something about him that can drive me crazy, and also make me want to love him. I was thinking of scenarios when I would walk up to him. I don't know what I'm going to say. But I know something will come to my mind. I'm very pissed off that he blew me off to see this tramp sing. She's terrible. I can't stand the music at all. I know for a fact a monkey with a disability can sing and play better than her.
About 20 minutes went by before I actually arrived. I went around the parking lot until I could find a spot as far from the entrance as possible. When i was satisfied with the spot I found, I parked. I slid my helmet underneath my bike, making it completely invisible to anyone who would just glance at it. I walked inside and immediately spotted Kevin. He was chatting it up with Bella. Of course he was. I paid to get in, the headed straight to the back corner of the venue. I wasn't visible in Kevin's view, but i could see him perfectly from where I was standing.

I watched them talk. I watched her put her hand on his arm. I watched him smile and blush, and put his arm around her waist. She laughed, then kissed his cheek. The anger started to build up inside of me, and I clenched my fists, gritting my teeth as well. Then i completely lost it. Bella leaned in and kissed him. AND HE LET HER KISS HIM. For a good 5 seconds. Oh trust me, i fucking counted. I knew I was about to lose it, so i just pushed through people and made it back outside to smoke. I stood outside for a long time, chain smoking. I was about to go back inside when Bella started to walk out with Kevin. They didn't notice me at first, so I moved a little to the left. When they turned the corner, I was greeted by Bella.

"Hey! I'm glad you actually came Edd!" She came over to hug me, and I let her. I didn't want them to know I saw her kiss him. All the color in Kevin's faced drained.

"Oh, hey pum'kin. Didn't expect to see you here." I winked and took another hit of my cigarette.
Kevin cleared his throat. "Could you excuse us, Bella?" I smiled, and she said sure then trotted back inside.

Kevin stared at me for what seemed like ever. So I spoke up.

"What're you doing here? Thought you had plans?" I took another hit.

"I d-do. I planned to come see t-the show." He gave me a sheepish smile and I scoffed.

"Bullshit. You don't care for this music at all. You just wanted to see that tramp."

"Stop calling her that. And honestly Eddward? Why do you care? You're acting like a…" Kevin stopped talking, knowing he shouldn't say what he wanted to.

"Go on, pum'kin." I threw my cigarette on the ground and leaned against the wall, facing him.

"You're acting like… a jealous…bo-boyfriend.." I smiled and leaned closer to him.

"Is that what you would like me to be?" I grabbed his arm, tightly. "Because I can show you jealous boyfriend."

"Eddward…p-please!" I pulled him close to me and pressed my lips against his roughly. He resisted at first, but soon gave in when he realized I was not going to let him go. He ended wrapping his arms around my neck. I knew people were staring, and I honestly didn't give two shits. But our kiss was rudely interrupted.

"Kevin?" Kevin quickly pulled away and started stuttering while looking at Bella. I smiled and wiped my mouth. "What the hell are you doing?!" She crossed her arms and moved closer to us. Kevin backed up against me a little. 'You're kidding right? You're intimidated by a girl who weighs like 90 pounds, soaking wet?' I groaned a little.

"How could you do this to me? You just kissed me in there and told me how much you liked me!"
I laughed, and pushed Kevin aside a little. "Correction, tramp. You kissed him in there. I saw. So don't feed him bullshit, and don't you dare feed me bullshit."

She gave me a hard shove, which actually cause me to stumble back and fall flat on my ass. "Stay the fuck out of this, dick wad!" She screamed. I laughed, and just sat there.

"Oh, doll, you're lucky you're a girl." I stood up and wiped off my pants.

"Or what, Edd? You were gonna hit me? Like you hit Kevin?" She looked back at Kevin, and I saw tears well up in her eyes. "You'd rather be all lovey dovey with some," She looked me up and down. "Guy, that's has beaten you up and harassed you on a daily basis for years?! Rather than someone who is honestly genuinely sweet and would take care of you?"

"Oh please, honey. You don't know a damn thing about me, my life, or Kevin's life for that matter. So before you go off, saying shit that you don't even-" I was cut off by a very hard slap to the face.

"I said, stay the fuck out of it!" She screamed in my face. She walked back over to Kevin and practically yelled at him too.

"Kevin, I know I haven't known you as long as douche canoe over there has,"

"Douche canoe? The fuck?" She growled at me, then continued her speech.

"And I'm not the type of person to do this, but you need to make a descision right now. Would you rather get closer to me, or to a monster that'll make you feel like your never superior to him, or anyone for that matter?!"

Kevin looked at me, then back at Bella at least 6 or 7 times before he made a decision. He started walking toward me, and I felt my heart skip a beat. He got closer to me and looked at me straight in the eyes.

"I'm sorry Eddward." With that, he turned around, took Bella's hand and started to walk away from me.

'What…' My heart dropped to my stomach. Once again, I felt tears in the corners of my eyes. "Wait, Kevin!" I yelled back. He stopped, but didn't turn around. "Don't listen to that bitch! You know she's lying! I would make you feel like a fucking prince or a fucking god! Don't give up on me just like that!" At this point,tears were streaming down my face, and I felt a lump in my throat. Kevin started walking away again, but faster.

"Kevin!" He kept walking. "KEVIN!" He turned the corner inside the venue, and i dropped to my knees.

"Kevin…I love you." I whispered faintly, so no one would here. I wiped my eyes and looked around and noticed all the people that were staring at me. All i found myself doing was yelling, "FUCK OFF!", before getting on my bike and speeding back home.

(Sunday Night/Monday Morning)
There was no way I was falling asleep tonight. It was already 4 am. I spent the night off and on crying, vomiting and punching anything I felt like. I now I had three new holes in my wall, not to mention numerous dents. I was beyond pissed off. I was beyond hurt. I never knew someone could make me this fucking insane. I couldn't understand it. This boy, who I've bullied since childhood, is constantly on my mind? I just want him. I know if I had him, I would change. For the better…

I laid back down in my bed, trying to repress all the events that happened today, but is wasn't working. I would just immediately start thinking about Kevin, and crying. Or thinking about that fucking little twit, then getting extremely pissed off. How could she fucking brainwash him that fast?

I thought about it, then realized why. He hasn't had a girlfriend, or a boyfriend. So why not jump at the chance for a "beautiful girlfriend", rather than the fucking faggot who's a bully. I started to tear up again, then I sat up. I can't handle this right now.

I want to tell myself that I don't need him. That I need somebody else. Yeah, I'll try to fucking convince myself that somehow.

I started pacing around my room, scratching my arms, harder than I thought. It was a nervous habbit I picked up. When I was really upset, I'd acciddently scratch too hard, then end up breaking the skin and bleeding. When I noticed the blood running down my arm, I panicked a little.

"Shit." I mumbled. I went to the bathroom and began cleaning off the scratches with peroxide and soapy water. I put a few band-aids on then went back to my room. It was close to 5 am. School should be fun tomorrow I suppose.

I fell back on my bed and pulled out my phone. I went on Facebook, and went straight to Kevin's profile. I saw that someone uploaded pictures from the show, and there were numerous ones with Bella hanging all over him. I got incredibly pissed off when I saw one of him kissing her cheek, that I threw my phone against the wall. I didn't even give a shit that I cracked the screen.

I sighed then looked up at my ceiling I wish I could have him. I honestly do. I know I've treated Kevin like shit for years, and I mentally take responsibility for that. I know in my heart, he's the one I desire. I know I've never actually apologized for everything I've done or said to him. I just jumped right into trying to get him in my bed. I wasn't thinking of him, just myself. And i know that I need to tell him that exactly.

I just want to make things right with him. I feel like I have one more chance to do this right. I could lose him forever if I fuck this up again.

But I'm willing to take that risk.

======================================================
Kevin's POV

School for the next week was a living hell for me. After what I've said and done to Eddward, he made it his mission to beat me down everyday, every chance he got. In all honesty, I didn't blame him. I made him look like a complete fool in front of numerous people. Why do I keep hiding these feelings for him? I know deep down I want him, but I can't get myself to admit it.

The final bell rang for the school day to be over, and as quickly as my feet would move, I headed to my locker. I stuffed my books in my backpack, grabbed my keys and ran outside. I didn't want anyone to stop and talk to me. Not Bella, not Nat, and definitely not Eddward. Just as I approached my car, Bella was leaning against my car smiling. I couldn't help but smile, but I didn't need her to be there right now.

"Hey you!" She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me, but I didn't kiss her back. "Think you could give me a ride home?" I opened my mouth a little. 'Oh no..'

"I would, but I have…uh..to..-" Someone cut me off.

"He has to take me home!" I turned to see Nat, and let out a deep breath. "Sorry sweetie. Him and I have a dinner date." Nat winked and Bella laughed.

"Oh, alright. See you later." She kissed my cheek, and I let out a nervous laugh. Once she was further away, I got in the car. Nat ran over to the passenger side.

"Okay, so what was that about?!" He slammed the car door, making me jump. "You told me you settled out all that shit."

I drove off, speeding a little. All I wanted to do was get home as quick as possible. "I don't know, Nat." I sighed and turned on the radio, but Nat turned it immediately back off.

"Uh, uh. We're talking here. What's going on with you, man? You told me that whole deal with Eddward and shit, but you just completely denied her? And don't bullshit me. Because I know you way better than that." From my peripherals I could see Nat staring at me with his arms crossed. I didn't' say a word, which frustrated him even more.

"KEVIN!"

"I fucking like Eddward!" I screamed, then slamming on the breaks at a stoplight. I covered my mouth, not even thinking before I spoke.

"Sheesh, then why did you leave him, rumor has it, on the ground crying?!" I felt a lump in my throat.

"Wh-what..? Is that even true?"

"I don't know. Most likely no, but still. What if he was? And you just left him like that because you're frightened by him?"

"I…don't have an answer to that, Nathan." Sweat started to collect on my neck, and I bit my lip.

"Bullshit." Nat snapped and dramatically sighed. "Honestly tell me what's going through your head right now. At this very moment. I want to try to help as much as I can. because that's what best friends do." I sighed, then pulled over into the nearest parking lot, which happened to be an autozone.

Nathan looked at me as I parked the car, waiting for me to talk. I fiddled with my fingers, and he snapped at me again.

"Kev! Just fucking tell me! Good lord!"

"I know for a fact that I like Bella. She's cute, she's funny and one of the first girls that's like…e-ever talked to me…" Nat started laughing and snorted. He only snorts when he laughs too hard.

"Jesus! That's your problem right there! How fucking cheesy! You'd rather jump at the chance to get with a piece of ass like her."

"Don't say that about her!" I crossed my arms and scoffed.

"Sorry, princess." He started playing the window buttons, then spoke up again. "Well, what about Edd?"

I bit my lip, deciding if i should just come clean and confess everything that's on my mind about him. Or if I should just drive Nat home. I started the car, and began driving. But I still decided to talk.

"All I know to say about Eddward is that…I've known him practically all my life, from what I can remember. I never thought of him romantically until he…" I bit my lip again, but harder.

"Until he came out, right?" Nat's smile grew and I sighed. "Holy shit! I didn't know you liked guys for that long!"

"Shut up! I don't like guys." Nat shot me an evil glare. "Just…him." He squealed, and started laughing.

"So what's holding you back from being all up on Double D's double D?" He smiled and I rolled my eyes. I pulled into Nat's driveway.

"Goodbye, Nat." He turned toward me when I tried to get him to get out of my car.

"Hold on, I honestly want you to tell me before I get out." He gave me puppy dog eyes, and I laughed.

"Alright!" He started clapping and I laughed. "I know I like him. Okay? But I can't admit it to myself, and-"

"But you just did admit it to yourself."

"Nathan!" He laughed and put his hands up. "Anyway! I'm not really fond of his violent behavior So I feel like he'd push me around. And what if it turned to abuse?! I-" Nat interrupted me again.

"You're just giving me excuses. Not legit reasons." I sighed, and thought to myself.

'Maybe I don't have any reasons…They all are just excuses..'

"Nat, even if I wanted to talk to him again, he wouldn't even give me the time of day. This past week, I was shoved against my locker countless times, hit, tripped, and one of his friends even spit on me."

"He's just acting like a douche because you made him feel like complete shit. I'd probably do the same thing to you!" He laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Please, go!" I tried pushing him, but he wouldn't move.

"Hold on! I'll go in five minutes! Just let me talk." I sank back into my seat and crossed my arms. "Well you obviously won't tell me how you really feel about him, so why not tell him yourself? I could help you."
"Help? How?" I sat up and put my head on the steering wheel.

"Just leave that to me. Do you want my help or not?" I looked over and saw him smiling.

"I'm not sure.." I laughed and sighed loudly. "OKAY! Please, Nathan. Would you help me?"

He opened the car door and got out, but before closing it leaned back down.

"Hell no! This is your relationship with him, not mine. You're on your own sweetcheeks!" He closed the door, leaving me in his driveway.

"Dammit Nat!" I mumbled under my breath, pulling out of his driveway. I made it back home quickly. When I got out of the car, I looked over at Eddwards house. I stood there, just staring for the longest time. I started thinking about what I could even say to him if I talked to him.

'Eddward, I'm sorry. Please hold me.' Yeah, that one will totally work. I sighed and walked up to my porch. I threw my books on the couch, then looked back at Eddwards house.

"Fuck it." I closed my door and started waling down my driveway, then across the street. It had to be now or never.

I had the confidence to do this now, so I couldn't wait. I started to get knots in my stomach the closer I got to his front door.

As I approached the door, my pace slowed down. When I reached the door, I knocked three times. I waited for what seemed like minutes, then decided he wasn't home. Right when I was about to leave, he opened the door. He was in boxers, shirtless, and had wet hair sticking out from his beanie. He looked at me with his arms crossed.

"Yes, pum'kin?" His tone was very harsh. I took a deep breath and looked up at him.

"Can I talk to you? Inside?" He looked behind him for a few seconds, then back at me.

"Go fuck yourself." He slammed the door in face, leaving me quivering. I turned around and practically ran back to my house, wanting out of his sight as soon as possible. I ran up to my room and closed the door, sinking to the ground.

"What just happened…?" I whispered to myself. "I feel like such an idiot! How could he say that to me?!" Then I just put my head down. Now I know how Eddward felt when I completely screwed him over. I walked over to mybed and put my head into my pillow.

"FUCK!" The pillow muffled out my scream.
-

It was around 10 pm, and I was so ancy that I couldn't stop moving. I've been pacing back and forth for the past hour, reading. I tried to calm down, and I've tried to sleep this off, but I couldn't. The only thing on my mind was Eddward. He might be a piece of work, but He's absolutely driving me utterly insane.

I sighed loudly as I sat on the edge of my bed. Grabbing the pillow again, I screamed "FUCK!" a few more times. I threw my pillow across my room, and it hit a poster, knocking it down.

"Dammit!" I ran over and picked it up, placing it back perfectly where it was originally. I took a couple deep breaths then strolled over to my window. Peeking through the blinds, I saw that the lights in Eddwards house were still on. I clenched my fists and decided I needed to go back over there, and make him listen to me.

I ran downstairs, grabbed my shoes, and headed back out the door toward his house. I took my time walking over there, making sure a light wasn't turned off or that anyone was there. I approached his front door again. Before I knocked, I needed to decide what I was going to say. I was just going to tell him that we needed to talk. I knocked three times, then waited.

'No! I can't just say that! He'll slam the door in my face again.' I heard music stop playing , so I knocked three times again. 'I need to think of something more intriguing to him.' I could hear his foot steps coming down the stairs. I thought of what to say when he opened the door.

As he opened the door, I pushed it open more, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pulled my lips to his. He let out a muffled "mmf!" But i ignored it. I needed him to know this is how I felt about him. I needed to know I needed him! That I needed his kiss, his touch, his love…

Eddward wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer against him. Tears started to fall down my face and I pulled away a little.

"I'm sorry! I don't know what the fuck I was thinking!" I screamed, pressing my lips against his again. Eddward closed his front door then pulled away from my lips.

"Why the sudden change of heart, pum'kin?" I didn't have an answer for him right then, so I just pulled him close to me.

"Take me upstairs. Now." Eddward smiled, and picked me up to carry me to his bedroom. I'm not holding back. I'm letting this happen.