The first thing I really don't want to hear when I arrive at my house is," Honey, what's the matter?" So I ignore my blithering mom's comment and head straight to my room. My face sinks into the pillow while I stay in that position for awhile. I finally get up to lift the window open, hoping a drop of me would fall onto my face. Nothing. So I strip myself down and filled the tub with warm water. My body immediately sinks when I let go of the side of the tub, no longer needing the support to hold me up. Hoping, today would be cleansed away. I sink my whole body underwater trying to get the remains of Finn's soup off me. It's when I realize I'm not coming up for air that I squint my eyes and stop letting out air. I clench my fists, banging them against the side of tub while I'm separated from the real world. Soon enough everything goes black and its like drifting off into a deep sleep that last forever. I feel intense hands lift me out of the water and immediately start coughing.
"What the hell happened?"
My face, cradled by the hands of my mother. Vision, blurry and difficult to read. I moved trying to wake up all my senses. My mother wrapped me in towel and sat me down on her bed, gathering clothes from my room to change into. When she returned, her hands dug through her drawers, pulling out some equipment she had from her old job at the hospital. It seemed my heartbeat, breathing and vision were back to normal, but I know I wasn't. I sat in silence as I felt her heavy stare looking down on me.
"You're glad your father isn't home from work yet or we would have had a long discussion about this, young lady. We will continue speaking when you are dressed."
She shoved my pajamas into my stomach and charged out of the room. Strangely, I wish she wouldn't have come to my rescue. I would have rather gone to a happier place where I would be accepted and not ridiculed all the time. I suited myself up, ready for a long conversation about how stupid and reckless I was being. Judging factor in the world number 1. My mom.
"What were you thinking? You have committed a lot of stunts like this, but this time I'm not sure I can let it slide."
She was oblivious to my boredom. The same speech I heard after I attempted to fall off a cliff. I rolled my eyes and let out a loud groan.
"I'm a terrible child and should know better, now can I go back to my room," cutting my mom off, standing there shocked at how I lacked concern for this incident.
"Because I swear, you have a script that you've been reading off of, for every time I mess up, and I'll tell you this. You got the memorization down."
She shot me a stern look, me sitting there, waiting for a reply.
"A script?"
My head fell onto the headboard of the couch. More yelling to come. That's when I decided to stand up and quickly marched to my room, my mom following behind me.
"Who on Earth, would write a script for their delusional daughter!"
My last step inches away from the door, body paralyzed from her statement. I immediately reacted by turning around and screaming in her face.
"You don't know the very first thing about me, not like you would care to know!"
I harshly pronounced the last sentence, abandoning her in the hall and slamming my door shut. Closing her out of my mind, trying to think of rain and how the sound soothes me. But nothing can replace the hatred of a mother towards her daughter.
I sat against a column in the hallway of Libney High. They were big enough to block me from the sight of teachers and students passing by. I sketched the serene view of the mountain peaks. Getting very detailed then stopping to gaze at its beauty.
"It's amazing isn't it?"
I twisted my head, spotting Finn stick his head from behind the column. He jumped in the front and placed himself next to me. I shifted uncomfortably as I pulled my sketch closer to me. Unfortunately he caught sight of it.
"Rachel Berry doodles?"
He teased with as a smile morphed onto my face.
"They're sketches. Doodles and sketches are way out of each others leagues."
I piled my pencils back into my book bag as he kept wanting to continue the conversation.
"How so?"
Was he trying to make me go on a rant. By the look on his face, my question was answered.
"Well Finn, doodling is the result of boredom or of expressing an idea. It is not at all a professional drawing. As for a sketch, they require the ability to imitate your personal views or beliefs of how you picture something in your head. Each stroke and color, represented by a thought or feeling."
Finally, I had the guts to look at him. Obviously, he was astounded.
"Well that definitely answered my question."
He leaned in a little more, of course I reacted by standing up and throwing my bag over my shoulder.
"Great abilities don't come easy."
I glanced back at him eying my bag. Either he wanted to steal it or….Yeah he probably wanted to steal it.
"You know Avenged Sevenfold?"
Well that's a turn of events.
"Yeah, I got it from one of their concerts last year."
"Really? I wanted to go but ended up having to skip it to baby sit my sister."
Something they actually have in common. A taste in music.
"Well they're going to be here during Spring Break. Shouldn't be too hard to get tickets if you prepare now. I get my specially booked."
He smiled as he rose from his sitting position.
"Yeah…So I'll see you around."
"Maybe."
I winked at him before turning and strolling down the halls, feeling his eyes on the back of my head the whole time.
...
"Four score and 7 years ago-"
I leaned in close to Kurt.
"4 score and every second of the class makes me want to kill myself."
"Shh, she could hear you."
"So, it couldn't be worse than the time I flung my pencils at her with a sling shot."
Kurt giggled remembering a time when the situation was worse.
"Or when you super glued the rolling chair to her ass."
We burst into laughter, interrupting the whole lesson. Slamming our hands onto the wood of their desk.
"Is there something funny you would like to share with the class Ms. Berry and Mr. Hummel?"
He immediately started to panic as there were giggles still rolling off my tongue.
"Nah, I'm good."
I leaned back in my chair, shoving my hands into the pockets of my hoodie. Slowly kicking up my feet on the desk. Her whip rapidly swatted the thin layer of fabric on my converse, probably leaving a scar.
"We do not show disrespect in my class!"
I swore Mrs. Libby was Gru from Despicable Me in disguise. Time to have a little fun. I replied back, mocking the teacher's accent.
"Well I wasn't showing deeeesrispect of theees class."
Several laughs around the room as she narrowed her eyes at me.
"You want to go there with me, Berry?"
"I've been ready for 17 years to go there, for you it must have been…about 100."
That's what sent the room with howls and cheers as I leaned back, with my arms folded with a wicked smirk on my face.
Detention. Damn. But thankfully I got to escape that prison cell. Of course I grab the seat next to the window, for 2 reasons. 1. No one sits by the window, if they want to escape this place and escape, being by the door is your best bet. Unless you want to fall 2 stories. And 2. Because it gives a serene view of the mountains, in the perfect location of a sketch. So finishing my earlier drawing is what I'll be doing for the next 2 hours.
"Berry, why am I not surprised?"
I turn to the familiar voice of Finn Hudson.
"What, are you like stalking me now," I teased as he pulled over a chair and sat next to me, glaring over my shoulder at my drawing.
"You're really good at that."
"Since when did I ask for your opinion?"
"You didn't"
He gave me a carefree smile, flashing all of his perfect teeth at me. He gazed at me, while I slowly shifted my head so we were eye to eye. Smile closed but still shaped. Pink swelling up his cheeks. Brown hair with brown with golden flecked eyes. A person like I've never seen. Lightly, he took a strand of one of my brown locks and placed it behind my ear. I smiled at the gesture then changed the subject to what I was really focusing on.
"Can I draw you?"
He grinned and rose one of his eyebrows in curiosity.
"And why would that be?"
"I don't know, you're just so…unique."
A real smile crossed my lips as I spoke the last word.
"Plus, you'd be hell of a challenge."
He let out this soft, but infectious laugh and got some of the other students to notice us, which I didn't like.
"Meet me at the edge of Willow's Peak after school."
I slowly curved to face the window and away from him, continuing to draw. He stood up and sat a seat away from me. I glanced over at him and shot me satisfied smirk. My eyes rolled at him and continues to color the mountains.
...
Deep. Endless. Hazardous. Just the way I like it. I peered over the edge slightly, viewing a never ending drop that would result in definite death. I had been waiting for Finn to arrive, for about 10 minutes. Being prepared if he does one of his surprise entrances. Still he hadn't shown up. I groaned many times in boredom till I realized something. How painful would it be to hit the bottom. Very, but quick. My heels balanced at the edge as I slowly tilted forward. About to dive into the depths of the hole as strong hands grip onto my waist. My body was flung up and let out a shriek before I realized Finn had finally shown up. Surprise attack accomplished.
"Might wanna be careful there. Drop is about a thousand feet.
I gave him a fake smile then quickly got out my map pencils, releasing me from his grasp.
"First things first, I don't want you to pose like one of those underwear models from GQ. I want it to be realistic and calm."
He let out a loud chuckle, smoothed back his hair and did face exercises. He was joking, right? I sat un amused for 5 minutes till he noticed my expression.
"What?"
"Are you done getting prepped up, Barbie?"
"Correction, I would be Ken."
I rolled my eyes as I got comfortable on a rock and did the outline of his head. An hour had passed and was finally done. I held it close to my chest, anxious to show him.
"What you are going to see isn't my best work, very fast paced sketch, so not very accurate."
"Doesn't matter, I wanna see it."
I decided to play the humble card if I wanted something out of him.
"It's not amazing, but not terrible."
"Just show me!"
I quickly flashed the picture at him, watching his eyes and smile widen in amazement.
"That's incredible!"
I pretended to cry, thank god I had plenty of practice.
"I know, it's just terrible!"
"What? Its freaking perfect, it's flawless, you got everything correct!"
I stopped crying and got serious.
"I know didn't I?
I glanced up at him with a satisfied smirk and he wore a confused expression.
"Well since I'm done, I better get going. I don't want my mom thinking I tried jumping off a cliff again."
His smile faded and his eyebrow curved in curiosity as I started walking away.
"What do you mean again?"
Damn. I let an outsider get inside my head and made me confess one of my darkest secrets. But I couldn't flee. I must fight. I had to tell him the truth.
Nervous. Shaking. Everything I feel after I spilled my dark past to him. We sit at the edge of the cliff with out feet dangling.
"Can I ask you something?"
I was startled, for it was the first thing he said after I completed my back round. I studied him. He didn't look upset or ashamed, but didn't look to happy either.
"Of course."
There was a moment of silence before he let a word slip out.
"Why?
I tilted my head down, looking at the depth below. Saying that word as if I didn't have the right to try and commit suicide.
"Why would you give up on life like that?"
The question hung in the air. I wondered the same thing sometimes.
"I guess it's because there's nothing really for me here. My family treats me like they wish I was never born. Everybody else sees me as this deranged monster.
I let my vulnerability out because, I trusted Finn. He was the good guy, right?
"I don't"
He glanced at me, getting a side view of my face while I stared off into the distance. I felt the wind brushing against my neck as my hair slowly moved with it.
"You cant tell anybody. I don't like nor do I want a reputation. Too over whelming.
Obviously he was confused.
"What's wrong with a reputation?"
"People know who you are, then they want to hang out. Then there are people who use you. Then end up stabbing you in the back. It's what made me want to jump off the cliff when I was younger."
I lifted my bag strap over my shoulder as I stood there, waiting for a reply.
"Then why did you let me hang out with you?"
He shot me a wicked smirk. A smirk convinced that it had something to do with me crushing on him. Which I'm not. Well not sure yet.
"I trust you."
The smirk disappeared as he came to an understanding.
"Oh."
Oh. Did he just freaking say "Oh"! I hope its either because he saw it as a good thing or because he doesn't know what else to say. I can't have a guy falling for me, right?
"I have to-"
"Wait!"
His strong hand, gripping my arm, keeping me from continuing. I looked at his eyes and how perfectly the light was shining on them. He stood in front of me. Tall. Muscular. Amazing.
"Just make sure you don't do anything reckless. You mean too much to me."
I especially caught onto the last part of what he said. Leaving me paralyzed until he finally released my arm and headed home.
I actually meant something to some one. And for the first time, someone means something to me.
Update should be on Tuesday or Thursday! Originally wrote it with different characters so if you see anything incorrect let me know. Hope you enjoy each chapter. Please Comment.