Chapter 5- Foreign

November 1889

Cora stood in front of the fire, her shawl wrapped tightly around her. Inching a little closer she briefly imagined stepping into it, the cold having seeped into her bones the last few days and leaving her teeth constantly chattering. The flurry of activity that followed her and Robert's arrival at Downton after their honeymoon had been followed by a seemingly endless round of gatherings around the county, all orchestrated to introduce the new couple. But with the impending arrival of winter and the shortening of days came an end to the warmth and constant activity and it was only now that Cora felt the full effect of her foreignness.

Her relationship with Robert too had cooled. Where once he accommodated and gently guided her, he now grew impatient and short. The more Cora tried to assimilate the more missteps she made, it seemed. Violet's sharp voice would correct her constantly, calling her out on some slight faux pas. Cora tried to push aside the feelings of hurt that her husband's sighs of annoyance would conjure in her heart and she found herself speaking less and less, happy to fade into the background as completely as she could. The coldness of the season matched the temperature of the people in the house and Cora started to believe she would never feel the warmth of the sun again.

Letters home were filled with false good cheer. She could not bring herself to disclose her growing misery. She lay awake at night, after she and Robert performed their marital duty and wondered where she had gone wrong. Gone was the husband of only a few months ago, the one who tentatively reached for her hand across a table in France. In the darkness of her room, Cora couldn't help but let the shadows play on her mind. Her growing sadness was oppressive. More often than not, she would cry herself to sleep, depressed by the idea of spending fifty more years living the life she had bound herself to. Lately, William invaded her thoughts as she imagined how contrasted her life would be if he hadn't died and this felt like an infidelity. Not telling Robert about him had felt like a betrayal but she could not speak to someone who held himself so distantly from her about something so personal.

Her musings were interrupted by an abrupt rap at the door and she softly bade the knocker to enter, surprised to see her husband's grim face in the doorway. Seeing her by the fire, standing in her riding outfit and wrapped tightly in her shall he raised his eyebrows in question.

"You're joining the hunt?"

"Yes. You needn't be so shocked. Or was I not invited?" Cora found she could not put on a simpering, sweet face that day and answered his incredulity with the acid she felt bubbling in her gut. Her tone startled her husband, and he faltered for a moment.

"Of course you are welcome." Robert recovered quickly. "But you've been ill, so I assumed…."

"It's just a chest cold. Maybe fresh air and sport will do me well." And with that Cora turned from him to move to her vanity, pretending to search for something there. She did not want Robert to see the way her eyes welled up as she detected disappointment in his voice.

"Cora…" Robert said her name hesitantly, taking a step towards her. He could see part of her reflection in the vanity mirror and the struggle she was undergoing to maintain her composure. If things were simpler, if he were a different person, he would go to her and wrap his arms around her. He wasn't completely cold as she may think, he knew she was unhappy and seeing the evidence of it day in and out caused a nervous twitching of his insides when he was near her. But Robert had never been confronted with such depth of female emotion and hadn't the first idea how to get beyond his own discomfort and help her.

Inwardly, Robert worried about the arrival of Lord and Lady Pembroke. They were staying with Sir Rothe over at Haxby and when the old friend of his father's had asked if his house guests could join as well, no one was able to refuse. Robert's only consolation had been that he believed Cora would sit out the hunt, and therefore be out of Julia's reach. He hadn't spoken to the woman since his disastrous ending of their affair and he was more than a little petrified of what she would do in front of Cora. Perhaps if they were in a better place he could speak to her about it, but she seemed so forlorn lately that he had no idea how she would receive his explanation of things.

Robert cleared his throat. "I'm very glad that you'll be joining us today. And Rosamund will be delighted as well, I'm sure." Robert released the breath he didn't realize he was holding when he saw the small smile that turned her lips up. He went to her and offered his arm and her look of surprise before taking it made him feel sorry that this intimacy didn't come naturally to him as it did her. He vowed to try harder.

"Lady Downton, it's so good to meet you at last! We've heard so much about you!" Cora's smile was a little unsure as Lady Pembroke focused her attention on her. She detected a bit of insincerity in the older woman's tone but remained silent, watching her husband as he shuffled, looking annoyed and uncomfortable. Despite his objection to the contrary, she worried that he was disappointed she had joined them.

Rosamund pulled her aside just before mounting her horse, to discuss a ladies tea that she was organizing for the following day. Cora listened intently until Lady Pembroke's figure caught her eye, striding purposefully toward Robert. Rosamund's voice faded as she watched the woman speak to her husband, standing a bit too close. She looked confident and a bit too familiar and when she reached out and touched Robert's elbow Cora held her breath for a beat. Robert's pursed mouth and stiff pose made him look sufficiently embarrassed but his darting eyes made her suspicious.

"Cora? Where have you gone?" Rosamund's voice cut through to her and she jumped slightly, turning back to her sister in law.

"I'm sorry. I suppose I was distracted for a moment. That all sounds lovely. Of course I'll attend."

Rosamund took her by the crook of her arm and they walked toward the others. "Don't worry yourself about her." Cora followed Rosamund's gaze to Lady Pembroke, who was walking away from Robert. "She can't hold a candle to you."