Chapter 11- Damages

August 1891

She half listened to the Duke of Suffolk as he relayed a bit of royal gossip. Ordinarily she would have tried harder to appear engaged, but her unease was hard to overcome. Rosamund had talked; more like begged her, to go to the Wainscott's house party, desperate to see Marmaduke Painswick. She in turn had to coax Robert, who would have preferred not pushing back their journey to Dunnegle. His mood turned even more sour when they spotted Lord and Lady Pembroke in the foyer of the great house upon their arrival, apparently also invited for the weekend.

It had been either a stroke of good luck, or calculated planning, that Lady Pembroke was placed near Robert at dinner. Cora tried to not be too obvious in her observation of the two. A few glasses of wine had loosened Robert. The cold shoulder he had originally presented the woman turned warm throughout the meal. By the end, he was downright congenial, laughing at her lowly murmured jokes and he barely stuttered when she briefly touched his hand. Cora had noticed of course, sitting at the other end of the table from them. Her heart sped up a little and she placed her fork down, losing the remainder of her appetite. She twisted the napkin in her lap.

"They go back a little ways." Suffolk commented, following her gaze to Robert and Lady Pembroke.

Cora looked at him through the corner of her eye, not liking the tone of his voice, how it lowered and became conspiratorial as though his words had a hidden meaning. She couldn't believe her own bad luck at being seated next to the man. He really was a slimy sort. To think she almost married him? Cora took a large sip of her wine, disgusted by the thought and becoming more infuriated by the spectacle at the end of the table. She turned to her dinner companion.

"So how is Hammersly these days?" Cora asked, resigned to her duty to maintain conversation and wanting to steer him away from the topic of Robert.

"Still awaiting a Duchess, I'm afraid." Suffolk raised his eyebrows at her. "I thought I had found one, but alas Crawley beat me to her."

Cora swallowed the grimace she felt struggling to break out upon her face, but the shiver that ran through her body was unavoidable. The man couldn't be more repugnant if he tried and he was obviously one drink away from total inebriation. Just when she thought she could take no more of him, Lady Wainscott announced it was time for the ladies to walk through. She plastered a tight smile onto her face and bid Suffolk goodbye before hurrying out of the dining room. She tried to catch Robert's eye but he was already up and moving toward the host, lighting a cigar.

"Still after Crawley, I see?" the Duke of Suffolk stood by Lady Pembroke and watched the object of their discussion as he spoke to his wife.

"I've heard there is some trouble lurking in paradise. Perhaps Lady Downton may require a little comfort." Lady Pembroke replied. She watched the duke smirk and drain the rest of his wine.

"You are wicked, Julia." He laughed.

Lady Pembroke shrugged and took a dainty sip of her drink. "I believe she is in the Giles bedroom this weekend. Perhaps you should teach her the advantages of extramarital activities."

"And what of Crawley?"

"Leave Robert to me." Lady Pembroke replied before putting her glass down and walking away.

Robert stepped out into the cool night air and searched the gardens from the veranda. He had thought he saw Cora exit the ballroom just moments before but there was no sign of her. His head pounded slightly from the heat of the house and the unending flow of champagne. He had hoped to catch his wife and coax her upstairs and away from the party. Silently he cursed Rosamund and her involving them in her husband hunting. The whole night was a confusing mix of unwanted encounters and half shameful memories. Julia's presence had him on edge and the attention that the Duke of Suffolk lavished on Cora made his fingers itch with the need to wring his neck.

The clatter of heels approaching him made him smile. "There you are…." he said before fully turning around. The grin he had faltered when he was faced with Julia's smug smile.

"You were waiting for me? How marvelous." Her coquettish tone made Robert take a step back.

Sighing in exasperation Robert held up his hands. "I thought you were Cora. Forgive me." He went to move around her but she stopped him with a hand to his elbow, holding him in place.

Cora had found a little peace during her interlude outside. The attentions of Suffolk as well as the crowd of the ballroom had begun to make her claustrophobic and she had retreated to the gardens in order to clear her head. The night chill began to raise goose bumps on her skin, indicating that she had been gone longer than proper and she started back from where she came. Watching her footing in the grass, she was almost under the veranda and near the stone steps before she noticed Robert above her. She stopped quickly when she saw that he was not alone. Feeling torn, she wondered if she should go or make her presence known. Before she could move, Lady Pembroke grabbed Robert's arm.

"I hate how we left things, Robert. I should have been more understanding. I know you have a deep sense of duty." Lady Pembroke's voice was tender and laced with affection. Cora held her breath.

"Julia," Robert sighed. "I'm sorry if you felt abandoned or used…"

"You don't need to apologize, Robert. I should have been more accommodating." Julia wondered how well the American could hear them from the shadowed spot she hid in. She lifted her voice just a notch.

"I still dream about the feel of you all over me…" Julia said and she bit the inside of her cheek when a soft gasp was carried over the wind.

Robert's eyes widened as he looked at her. "Julia, you must not speak of such things like that." He admonished, horrified at how this was going.

Cora covered her mouth, tasting bile. She watched in horror as Julia pulled Robert's head down to hers in a heated kiss. The last image she had was of him placing his hands on her waist as she frantically turned away from the two and ran around the side of the estate.

It took several seconds for Robert to get over his initial shock at Julia's boldness. Once his brain caught up to what was happening, he put his hands on her waist and roughly pushed her away.

"Have you gone mad?" Robert hissed, looking wildly around to make sure no one was witness to her assault on him. He ran a shaky hand through his hair and roughly pulled at the hem of his dinner jacket. Julia cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know what kind of game you are playing, but I don't want any part of it." Robert spat.

"Oh Robert. Please, you cannot tell me you don't miss me. You don't miss this." Julia retorted.

Robert stepped close to her. "I haven't given you one thought since the night we said goodbye." He walked quickly away and to the safety of the crowded ballroom.

Cora had rushed up the stairs and into her designated bedroom, thankful for the desertion of the hallway. The anger and hurt she had been holding back erupted from her once the door was closed and she fell on her bed, sobbing. The image of their kiss and the implication of Julia's words played over in her mind. She couldn't believe she had been so naive and that Robert could be so cruel. Ruminating on the affair they were obviously having, Cora had almost missed the sound of the door opening slowly and then shutting softly.

"Get out." Her voice was watery and muffled. She felt the lightest touch of a hand on the bare skin of her back.

"Robert, don't touch-" She whipped around, ready to let all of the betrayal she felt fly at him when she sucked in her breath, surprised to see Suffolk's face instead of Robert's. She quickly swiped at her eyes with the backs of her hands and tried to calm herself.

"Oh I'm sorry. I thought you were Robert…." she couldn't finish her thought as the duke reached out and caught a tear trailing down the side of her face. He stepped closer to her.

"I saw how upset you were when you ran inside the house." Suffolk whispered.

Cora shook her head and attempted to hide her confusion at his presence. "Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine."

Suffolk stepped closer and stroked the side of her cheek. Cora stiffened at the touch and her heart hammered within the confines of her corset. She attempted to step to the side, intent on fleeing the room but he anticipated her move and grabbed her upper arm, the hand at her cheek moving to the back of her head and gripping her hard. The duke moved forward and she was forced to step back until the backs of her legs hit the wood of the bed. Cora could hardly catch her breath as her senses screamed for her to do something.

"You should never be anything but completely happy." Suffolk crooned into her ear before dipping down and capturing the side of her neck in his mouth, nipping her hard and hungrily. The smell of alcohol that rose up from him and the feel of his arousal pressed against her stomach caused her to shake.

"Please…" she cried hoarsely, trying to push against his chest.

"Feisty. God, you are such a sweet little tease." Suffolk pushed her onto the bed and covered her with his body, crushing her mouth with his own.

Panic pushed Cora into action and she took a deep breath and opened her mouth, "Hel-". The slamming pressure of Suffolk's hand over her mouth squelched her scream. She thrashed underneath him, trying to dislodge him but he was far stronger than she was. He chuckled as he reached under her skirts and tore her knickers off. He ripped at her dress as though it were gauze. She cried in earnest as his fingers touched her and he pulled his own trousers off. He bit the top of her breast roughly and she arched her back and yelled into the hand that still covered her mouth.

Robert stood outside of her door, unsure of what he would find. After returning from the veranda he had searched for Cora all over without success. It was unlike her to leave in the middle of a party, without telling the hostess, never mind himself. Hesitating, he weighed telling her about Julia. The woman seemed intent to cause trouble; no matter how long they had been apart and he worried something would get back to Cora. An odd series of noises, like fabric tearing and a cut off cry could be heard through the door and disrupted his thoughts. Turning the knob and stepping into the room quickly, the light from the corridor shone over his shoulder and illuminated the bare backside of a man kneeling on the bed. The diaphanous fabric of his wife's dress could be seen surrounding the man and her legs kicked ineffectually as she tried to dislodge him from his position.

"What is going on?" Robert yelled, reaching forward and grabbing the man by the shoulder of his jacket and yanking him to his feet.

It only took a moment to understand what he walked in on. Cora quickly sat up on the bed, leaping as far away on the other side as she could get and brought her knees up wrapping her arms around them and sobbing. The man that he still held swayed slightly on his feet, his cocky grin and raised eyebrow compounding the slow burn of rage Robert felt tingling his limbs. Without taking time to think, he pulled back and punched the man, satisfied to hear a sickening snap as his fist connected with nose. The man's expression changed to confused shock and he stumbled but Robert held onto him tightly. He didn't register Cora crying out or the blood pouring from the man's nostrils. He slammed the man against the wall, the realization that it was Suffolk unleashing more fury and he pounded the man's head against the rose wallpaper. He had never thought he could kill a man before tonight.

"Robert!"

Small but strong hands pulled at his shoulders, tugging him back and after two more punches to the gut, he let go of the still partly nude duke, watching with satisfaction as he slid down the wall into a heap and then scramble out of the room on his hands and knees. Turning he saw Rosamund's horrified face. It was only then he became aware of gasping, choked sounds coming from the bed, loud over his own labored breathing. Concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, Robert felt the bile rise in his throat as he took in Cora's already bruising face and the terror in her eyes. Carefully he wiped the tears that spilled over her cheeks.

"Did he…?" Robert couldn't finish the sentence. He allowed himself a small amount of gratitude when Cora jerked her head in the negative. Her breathing bordered on hyperventilation and Rosamund got on the bed, sitting behind Cora.

"I'm going to loosen your corset. It'll help you breath." Rosamund said quietly.

Cora put her head in her hands and Robert put a shaking hand on her shoulder, trying not to react when she winced at his touch. Eventually her breathing evened out and she lifted her head, looking somewhere over his head with dull eyes.

"I think I would like to take a bath." She whispered.

"Of course. Let me help you." Robert answered, uneasy by the passivity in her features. She shook her head at his words and he was about to protest when Rosamund cut in.

"I will help. Let us get started." Rosamund helped Cora to her feet and gave Robert a gentle squeeze to his arm before leading her sister in law into the bathroom.

Robert had retreated to his own room to afford Cora some privacy. Once the adrenaline had worn off, he was left feeling ashamed and grief stricken. He had seen the way Suffolk had hung all over her and although he never dreamed the man would do something so vile, Robert punished himself for leaving Cora alone. As though what he witnessed wasn't bad enough, thinking about what could have happened had he not gone to find her made his stomach clench. The knock at his door pulled him out of his own thoughts and he rose to open it. Rosamund's lined face met his.

"May I come in?" Robert startled at the cold clip of her tone.

"Yes, of course. How is Cora?"

"She saw you Robert."

Rosamund's blue eyes held his intently, seemingly searching for some clue. She folded her arms and squared herself. Robert shrugged his shoulders and lifted his hands, at a loss to what she could be referring to. And then it hit him. Julia had been forgotten in the aftermath of Cora's attack.

"Oh God," Robert muttered rubbing his face with his hands. As though the night couldn't get any worse.

"It's true?! Dear God! What were you thinking?" Rosamund spat the questions out at him.

"What did she see Rosamund?" Robert begged.

"She said you were kissing Lady Pembroke. That she said….things about the feel of you….ugh you are disgusting!" Rosamund punctuated her words by pointing in his face. She turned quickly, unable to look at her brother any longer. He grabbed her arm.

"It was a very big misunderstanding. I need explain to her. Julia kissed ME, I had no idea it was coming. And I haven't been with her since before we were married. You of all people must believe me." Robert tried to get Rosamund to look at him.

"And why should I?" Rosamund asked, her initial anger dissipating.

"Because if you don't Cora never will."

"Cora?" The hesitation in his voice told her that Rosamund had spoken to him. She was glad for it, not sure that she could say the words again. She heard Robert navigate around the candle lit room until he sat on the chair near her bed. She didn't move from her position, curled on her side, hugging a spare pillow. She flicked her eyes to him briefly, but the concern there only made her throat tighten and she looked away, staring off into the darkness.

Robert took a deep breath. "I should have told you about Lady Pembroke from the beginning."

Cora had decided while lying alone, that she wanted as little details as possible. Too much had happened for her to stand a long, convoluted talk. She was barely holding on to the pieces of herself which threatened to scatter into air. There was really only one thing that mattered to her.

"When was the last time you were with her, Robert?"

Robert reached for her hand and covered it with his own. "Since before you did me the honor of accepting my proposal. I know you have no reason to believe, but I hope that you will. I beg you to forgive me for not telling you sooner. But I was a coward. Her actions tonight were as much a shock to me as they were to you. I didn't invite her intimacy Cora."

Cora nodded her head wordlessly. Deep in her heart, she did believe him. She needed to believe him, desperately. He looked miserable and dejected in front of her. He looked as though he would swallow nails for penance if she asked him to. Perhaps it was better to have found out now than in the early days of their marriage, when she was still so insecure. Cora squeezed his hand and he let out a shaky sigh, a tear slipping from his closed eyes. She ran her thumb over his swollen and scraped knuckles.

"Your poor hand." Cora whispered.

Robert stood up and took off his dressing gown. Cora slid over, making room and Robert pulled the thick duvet over them. He stared at her face, searching. She closed her eyes under his scrutiny. Robert was suddenly afraid to touch her and hurting to do so.

"Cora…" He had no idea what to say to her, his own rage still fresh, his own transgressions still haunting him. She shook her head.

"I do not wish to speak of it Robert. Any of it. Ever."

Her words shook and she reached for him, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him so tightly it was uncomfortable. He didn't care. Her back trembled slightly under his own hands as he ran them slowly up and down its length, hoping to bring her some comfort. What he witnessed would stay with him the rest of his life, he was sure, just as he was sure that it would her and he was sorry he couldn't have done more damage to the duke. He was sorry he could not remove the thread of Julia from their lives. Robert would honor her request, to never bring it up again, but he would hold her more gently and speak to her more lovingly and cherish her more thoroughly and hope that in time it would erase some of the damage this night had brought.