So here's the fourth chapter. And I have to say this thing really hates following what I want it to. Then again that tends to be the problem I have with writing, the story and characters go where they want and screw you if you want it another way... Oh well!

The forest was a wonderful place to hide, even if what you wanted to hide from happened to be yourself. Deep under the branches of the trees it felt like a cool haven, tree limbs catching the light of the moon and leaves dispersing it. As if nature itself was keeping any light from reaching him.

Leaves rustled in the breeze and whispered words of comfort in his ear, promising to protect him until he no longer needed it.

Deep in these shadows Hideaki felt more comfort than he thought was possible in this afterlife. Despite the darkness around him he kept his eyes closed as he rested his chin on his arms, crossed tight around his legs with nails digging in.

He didn't want to open his eyes again. Opening his eyes meant possibly seeing what he was. Since he had awoken he hadn't taken a single second to ponder what he looked like, hadn't even taken in the change in his appearance when he saw his legs or arms.

Maybe it had been willful ignorance. He's pretty sure it was, Hideaki had always been good at ignoring something if he didn't want to pay attention to it. But there wasn't much one could do to ignore a mirror, the very essence of what you looked like and who you were staring back at you.

And so he tried to keep himself from seeing it again. Those black eyes, so unreal and unnatural and so very inhuman. The white irises, something that should never be possible, and something he'd never heard of in any creature of the animal world. It was almost demonic, the way they'd looked with not even an ounce of emotion in them but a thick need for something that set Hideaki's skin crawling.

Maybe he could have gotten over that, could have pretended it had just been a trick of the light in that darkened room.

But he couldn't pretend he hadn't seen the horns. The giant horns coming out of his head with wicked-sharp edges he was sure could slice something that brushed them. Even now he could feel them on his head, trying to drag him towards the ground. They were far too big for his tiny body, seemed to belong to some kind of monster that only existed in the depths of his nightmares but now was here. Not only here but it was him.

And his skin… His skin was so deathly white. Perhaps it was a side-effect of having died, he's not very sure. Hasn't seen anyone like him, even that Shinigami had felt so very different. Inviting and relaxing but at the same time he set his nerves on fire and made his body tense up and want to run away. It was such a strange opposition.

Hideaki wanted to forget it all. He wanted to bury himself in the ground and never see again. Lose himself in memories of his family, of being Kurosaki Hideaki and laughing with his twin and their younger sisters. Of mother and father grinning along with them at their playful jokes, or glaring sternly when Hideaki had made his sisters or brother cry.

He'd always been the roughest out of his family, always causing trouble in one way or another. There had been nothing he could do to stop himself, it was like he needed to do something or he'd go crazy surrounded by pure happiness.

If he was being honest with himself he'd always known deep down something about the behavior was wrong, it wasn't natural to want to ruin good cheer because you've had so much of it you wanted to puke because you were overfilled and choking on it. No one he'd ever seen before had ever seemed to have that problem, no one but him.

A choked sob broke through his silence, shoulders shaking as he fought back the tears from coming. They made his eyes itch and burn and he didn't want to move to wipe his face this time.

Perhaps he'd always been the monster, and even as he wants to stop himself he just can't bring himself to. There's nothing he can do to stop the pouring despair from eating at every defense he had and breaking in, settling inside his heart as though it was its proper home and he'd only thrown it out and changed the locks.

Certainly he'd never been human before, how could he have been? What human wants to break happiness when they've had too much? Humans bathed in happiness, they rejoiced in it and tried to spread it to every person they'd ever interacted with.

Hideaki had never wanted any of that. When his sisters had their last birthday party he'd been unable to last through the entire party without accidentally upending the table and spilling the cake all over the floor. Mother had been devastated and father had scolded him fiercely for it but they believed it had been an accident, and at the time he'd believed it too.

Now he wasn't sure if he hadn't done it on purpose.

"I'm a terrible person," he muttered against the skin of his arms, feeling the cool skin on his lips and hating how it felt like death.

"No, I'm a terrible person," something purred from behind him.

Fear shot through him and he jumped onto his feet, nearly toppling over at the rush of dizziness that slammed into him.

And then something really did slam into him and he was knocked onto the floor, something hot and wet on his face and dripping off it at the same time.

There was a dull searing pain in his middle and he realized the warmth was blood, his own blood. There was a tugging sensation in his belly and he shot his hands down to grab at whatever was on top of him.

His hands touched wet warmth and a hard surface, little twinges running through him at whatever the thing was doing to him. The fear was what drove him to pull back a hand and slam it hard into whatever that surface was, feeling something crack under the power of his punch.

The thing on top of him released a shriek in his face and the weight was suddenly off him. Ears ringing, he rolled over and almost threw up at the nausea that swam over him. Pushing through it, he got onto his feet and found himself barely able to stand.

"W-what are you!?" he shouted as his slick hands clung to a tree to keep himself standing up.

The thing laughed again, it sounded like it was coming from everywhere all at once. It grated on his nerves, made his body twitchier than it already was. Hot warmth was creeping through his body, starting from where his belly was and where the blood had come from.

"I'm the one you're going to be a meal for!" it cackled and the trees around him swayed, leaves whispering and covering whatever movements the creature was making in the forest.

There was no way Hideaki could stay here, not when this… thing wanted to eat him. He wasn't sure what he could do against whatever it was but he certainly couldn't fight when he couldn't even see.

Making a break for it he lunged into the air through the trees, feeling the leaves and the branches smack him on his way up but the momentary pain was worth it when he burst through the canopy and swayed in the air above it. He was afraid he would end up crashing back onto the ground but it was far better to after-die by fall than by…

Oh god, his stomach hurt so badly now and he looked down to see the damage.

A revulsed sound crawled out of his mouth as he saw. It was like his belly had been torn open and his insides… That thing had really been eating him!

"O-oh god, I'm gonna be sick…" he mumbled as more nausea and dizziness hit him and he sank down onto his knees in midair.

He had almost forgotten the creature through the pain and the horrified disgust. Hideaki regretted not paying attention to it as sharp claws grasped his shoulders and then dug in.

This time he shrieked in pain as the thing carried him further up into the air and there was no comforting feeling of not-ground underneath him as the real ground disappeared through the clouds. He was so far up he could see the stars brighter than he ever had before, but that was no comfort at all.

Because he had looked up through the sick warm pain and saw the thing that had him in its claws. And it was a monster, a monster with a large white mask and sharp claws and wings as big as anything he'd ever seen.

He opened his mouth to beg it not eat him and found himself swallowing a scream as the claws let go and he fell.

Straight through the clouds and tearing wind, into what felt like the worst pain imaginable even as everything blacked out.

}-{

There were soft crunching sounds and a dull pain that brought him back to reality, his body jerked as something moved him and there was another crunch.

This time the pain accompanying the sound was a sharp knife in his head and he kicked his legs as his hands moved up to push at whatever was on top of him.

Pain in his hand and he pulled it back, a whispery scream coming from him as his eyes opened and he saw the creature standing over him.

Its white mask was stained with blood and Hideaki dazedly realized it was his own blood. Except this time it wasn't just eating his insides but it ate two of his ribs, one of them was still in the thing's mouth and it grinned wider at his stare and swallowed it as though to taunt him.

Something deep inside him was rising along with the horrified terror, the pure fear of being helpless as he's being eaten alive by some monster.

This time when his hand reaches towards the monster there's power behind it and the thing squawks when his fingers- claws now they're claws why are they claws- break through that mask and grab hold of it.

That white liquid is spewing from his mouth again and covering him, this time he watches through what feels like a muffled haze as it not only covers him but becomes a sort of armor over him. Black lines are forming on the white armor, spreading down across his chest and to his belly over the armor that now protects his damaged stomach.

It spreads over his arms under his sleeves and a black glow surrounds the hand that's gripping the creature's mask.

The thing shrieks and struggles to get away yet the strength isn't enough to budge Hideaki as his claws tear further into the mask, sharp cracks spreading across the thing and splintering into pure white.

And then Hideaki moves his hand and the entire creature is in the air before it slams back into the ground by him. He's on top of it before he even has to think and that liquid is once again covering his face except this time it doesn't even feel like a second face. It's his face now.

A soft growl is rumbling in his throat, an unearthly and inhuman noise that grows by the second as he leans into the creature's masked face and releases an earth-shattering roar that thrums throughout his entire body and jars his bones, intensifying the pain in his belly but at the same time making him feel stronger than he's ever felt before.

"Stop this, what are you, you're just a Plus how can you have Hollow-"

The thing's rambling makes him angry and he does the only thing his narrowing mind can think of and bites down into the thing's shoulder. Tears through the skin there and brings forth warm blood that splashes into his mouth and down his face and keeps biting it without mercy until the even the creature's screams have dwindled into nothing.

And then Hideaki come back to himself. Comes back to finding himself acting like a monster and he throws himself back off the thing and pukes into the grass.

Stares wide-eyed at his shivering hands which look cracked and then they do crack as that armor breaks off him. The rest of the armor follows after and he feels as the last of it leaves his face, until there's nothing but himself there.

The pain comes back and he lies on the grass and cries through the pain until there's not even crying but welcoming darkness.

}-{

Birds are chirping in the nearby trees when he comes to, swimming up through the depths of his unconscious until he's back in his body and all the weak aches that come with it.

Hideaki doesn't want to do anything but he forces himself onto his back and looks wearily down at his own body, only dimly surprised to see his stomach has healed a lot since last night. The rules for healing in this new body must be different. His stomach is still somewhat torn open though.

He looks around tiredly and notes the thing isn't by him anymore but the grass still has splashes of blood all over it. His own and the monster's, of course, he remembers with more nausea.

There's nothing left in his belly and so it only ebbs and breaks back down into nothing and he closes his eyes once that's gone, content to lie there and never move again.

Life didn't want him to do that apparently because something moves through the grass by him and he has to lift his head to see it.

Shock smacks him in the face as he watches the thing from last night walking towards him, no longer bloody but mask still cracked in and shoulder still torn open though it looked as healed as his stomach.

"You're a lucky kid," the thing says to him and while its voice is cold Hideaki can hear an undercurrent of… respect maybe? The world has turned on its side, hadn't this thing wanted to kill him?

Whatever's on his face now the thing only laughs at and settles down onto the ground by him. It feels so surreal Hideaki just closes his eyes again and wonders if he's having some insane dream.

"Whatever you are, you must be pretty strong," the thing says despite him trying to do his best to tell it to go away without actually doing so. "Not only did you survive that many bites but you were able to defeat me. Not many can claim that, especially not a simple Plus."

Plus. What did that even mean? He was a human, or at least he had been. Was this thing insane and talking in riddles or something? The only plus he knew was actually called addition and it had to do with math, or the other one that had to do with magnets.

"I'm not… some stupid math thing…" he tries to spit at it in anger but only musters enough energy to mutter out the words. The thing must have heard him because it's laughing again.

"Oh you must be new then, and that just makes it even more astonishing. You don't even know what you are, do you?"

"If I knew what I was do you think I'd let you continue talking about stupid math terms?" And there's the bite to his voice he had wanted the first time.

"Well of course not," it says back in a plain no-nonsense voice and Hideaki is once again hit by how utterly absurd this was. Not only did this monster understand Japanese but it also was able to hold not only a normal conversation but also understand the nuances that humans put into their words for communication.

Hideaki was absolutely sure his afterlife couldn't get any stranger than this.

"I'll explain it to you simply then, you're a regular soul that died," it said in that voice that Hideaki was starting to realize was rather snooty and pompous. For a second he wanted to punch that mask again and break it but he let the urge go.

"I could have told you that myself," he says with the best sneer he can manage under the circumstances.

"Yeah, but you didn't know the proper term for it, you little snot. That's called a Plus. And I'm called a Hollow."

He thinks back to the Shinigami and the look on his face when he vomited that white liquid.

"Fuck, you're a Hollow!?"

"That Shinigami called me one…" he murmurs almost to himself but the thing- the Hollow- shifts and stares intently down at him. And then Hideaki can see through the holes in the mask that the thing's eyes are almost the same as his, except the irises are yellow instead of white.

"Yeah, you have some Hollow powers. It's kinda weird. I can tell you're a normal Plus yet…" it shrugs those giant shoulders, its wings shifting behind it.

The absurdness of normally talking with the thing that had been eating last night almost puts him into hysterical laughter. Knowing that the Hollow was just as normally talking back to him after he had tried to eat it was what put him over the edge.

The Hollow simply waited for the laughter to end and that sobered Hideaki for a reason he didn't know.

"What's a Hollow?" he says suddenly, wanting to know why the Shinigami had looked so horrified and had then tried to kill him.

"We're humans. At least we once were. We don't have hearts anymore, as you can see from this," the Hollow points to a giant gaping hole in its chest, something Hideaki hadn't even noticed. He stared at it openly, the Hollow didn't seem bothered.

"You had it too, when you were wearing that armor," the Hollow says absently, masked mouth turning up into a smug smirk at Hideaki's horrified face. "Only during that though, so no need to get terrified."

"This is…" Hideaki didn't have words for it.

"Heheh, probably hard for you to wrap your head around. Typically someone becomes a Hollow by being bitten by a Hollow as a Plus or by staying on the Earth too long and losing their heart over time."

"That's why the Shinigami didn't want me to find my family…" he mumbles. Even though he knew why, from what this Hollow was saying he wouldn't have turned into a Hollow for long enough he could have found his home instead of being coldly ignored.

The Hollow laughs and his giant hand reaches towards him, Hideaki cringes and waits for it to tear his face or head off but it only pats him on the head.

His confusion is apparent and he doesn't bother trying to hide it this time. This situation had started as absurd and was quickly rolling downhill from there.

"I'm not going to kill you," the Hollow says, voice quieting, "there would be no point in trying to eat you now."

"Why were you going to eat me before then?" he asks quickly, heart thrumming the beat that was quickly becoming its favorite, fear.

"Because it's what Hollows do," it says simply. "We eat Pluses and other Hollows, all so we can evolve further and get stronger."

"Evolve…?"

"Most Hollows don't look like I do, they look like real monsters. Those are regular Hollows, I'm an Adjuchas."

"Adjuchas…" he tastes the word in his mouth, rather liking how it rolls around on the tongue and almost makes it hard to say with the way the consonants are right next to each other.

Now that he's actually paying closer attention to the sitting Hollow he notes he does look humanish. At least he looked like a giant of a man who simply happened to be wearing a giant mask as well that was cracked all over. The wings weren't human of course, but he obviously wasn't human as it was.

Feathers flowed down from the thing's neck to his shoulders and down what little of its back Hideaki could see from here. There was even a bit of feather along the thing's wrists as well.

"Are… Hollows animal-like?" he asks curiously as he watches the way the feathers flutter under the breeze. Birds were always one of his favorite animals.

"Actually yes, most Hollows look like an animal until they get to the Vasto Lorde stage, which is also the last stage of a Hollow's evolution mind you. There are hardly any of those as it is though."

"You look mostly human," he points out and the thing gives him an almost sad, wry grin.

"Why yes, an Adjuchas is the last step before Vasto Lorde. I'll never reach that now though."

The thing's tone is so sad and wistful Hideaki sits up despite the twinges of pain that ache in his belly so he can get a better view of the thing's eyes through its mask.

"Why's that?" he asks, voice as soft as the Hollow's now.

"Because you bit me," it says so matter of factly and without any malice or anger it almost blows Hideaki away. This was a creature that supposedly didn't have any heart and yet it had no anger towards the one who had ruined all its apparent hopes? He wondered how that could possibly be true.

"Why would me biting you make that impossible?"

"When a Hollow is bit their entire evolution is disrupted and they can never evolve further. A Vasto Lorde can even drop down to an Adjuchas if they don't eat enough," he says with another wry grin. "Isn't good for them though, considering they can't evolve back when that happens. Oh and then the other Adjuchas will gang up on them because the Vasto Lorde's typically reign over the rest of us."

"So…" Hideaki says slowly as he bites his lip and stares up at the thing that had stayed with even him after he had attacked it, had looked after him and perhaps might have even protected him even in its weakened state. "What… happens to you now?"

It looks surprised and stares at him for what feels like hours but can only be a few minutes.

"I go back to the Hollow world and rejoin the fray for survival there, I suppose."

Hideaki sits on the grass and stares down at his hands, wondering what that must be like. Fighting to survive and then having everything you've worked for stopped from a simple bite. Even if these creatures didn't have hearts, where was the fairness in that? Not for the first time since his afterlife he wonders if there was such a thing as God. Whether it was cruel instead of kind.

"Would I be allowed to go there?" he asks finally as he looks up at the thing. It once more gives him that look, except this time it seems more considering than surprised.

"You might be able to," the bird Hollow says slowly, mouth grimacing as though he was regretting saying this at all. "But you'd be hunted down by many of the Hollows who would want to eat you. You're not very good at protecting yourself unless you're already in pain it seems."

"I can learn how to better protect myself, then!" he says quickly, hands clutching at his jeans tight. "I can't stay here as it is; if you attacked me then surely other Hollows are going to want to eat me too. And there might be… there might be more Shinigami and they might get rid of me. I may not have much to live for, but I don't want to die again."

"That's how life is for most of us Hollows," he replies to him with a dark chuckle. "Most of us don't even know why we're surviving but we do it all the same because fuck the world, it wants to destroy us and we won't accept that. We'll live on and find some reason to live, we'll make one if we have to."

Hideaki's eyes are wide as he takes in the bird's advice, swallowing hard as he thinks over the meaning of the words and how much they ring true to him. Just because he didn't have a reason to live didn't mean he had to die…

"I want to come with you," he says quickly, standing up on shaky legs but standing all the same despite that.

The Hollow stands with him and towers over him, all muscle and terrifying power that could crush him in an instant. Could eat him just like it had done last night Yet the eyes that looked at him through that cracked mask had no malice in them, only amusement and even a slight fondness.

"I do believe you'll manage to find a way to survive even amongst the Adjuchas of Hueco Mundo," he says softly and Hideaki wants to close his eyes and let the words wash over him.

This Hollow had stayed to watch over him after they had tried to kill each other, somehow that made him feel closer to this creature of death. He had a feeling Hollows didn't do that for just anyone and for this one to do it for him meant something.

"I'll do whatever it takes, and I'll find my reason for living," he breathes out a promise, watches as that mask lifts into a sharper and almost dangerous smirk.

"We'll see about that," is all the bird says as he turns from him, "or else you'll die."

The something deep inside feels warm now, feels like acceptance and excitement and burns even brighter as the sky before them tears apart and a yawning black abyss is in front of them.

The Hollow steps through it without flinching or looking back and Hideaki is left standing in the grass with a torn yet healing stomach where the Hollow had been eating him.

He could stay here and not follow the Hollow that might have certain death and revenge waiting for him. Stay and wander, eventually become a Hollow's snack or get killed by a Shinigami.

Hideaki holds his head high and walks through the torn sky after the Hollow, not once looking back at the green and the sky he's leaving behind. The leftover remnants of a world that no longer held his heart.