Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris owns all.

Rated M for several reasons.

Chpt 42 Slippery Slope

SPOV

I closed and bolted the door, then put myself to bed, mentally exhausted and unable to process what just happened.

I dreamt strange dreams and must have had a fun night because I woke up in the morning locked in mortal combat with the sheets and practically hanging out of bed upside down.

Ugh.

Shoving my feet into my fluffy bunny slippers I trudge down to the kitchen, frowning at the blood stain on the table and deciding to ignore it until I've had coffee.

Beverage in hand I shuffle to the couch, pulling Gran's afghan off the back and tucking it around me like a blanket, its ugly and it smells funny, but it's a fixture in every memory I have of this room.

Alright Stackhouse. Don't get weepy and don't go reading things into what was said and done just because you've a thumping great crush on him and have recently developed the emotional maturity of a thirteen year old. Think.

So, now I know why Eric has trouble restraining his inner jerk when I'm around. Can I blame him? I don't think I have a real answer for that. Gran used to say that manners maketh the man but I seriously doubt she ever met a man like Eric, and besides, she also used to say that adultery was a wicked sin and she clearly didn't believe that. Regardless of what Eric thinks or feels about me he is basically a good person and I've seen the evidence of that, even in some of the things he's done for me. He's been a jerk at times but he could have been a whole lot worse, he's not human and he exists by a completely different set of rules to the ones I've grown up with.

He could have killed me with no comeback that night but he didn't. I thought I felt regret from him for hurting me and I dismissed it out of hand, but maybe he did regret it? And maybe I'm reading too much into this, different set of rules, I need to remember that.

Why did he come last night, explain himself, what does he want from me?

He wants me to return to New Orleans for the coronation and in all honesty I was going to anyway, if only to take the 'skate' back and see him one last time. Does he just want me to show up for that? He said we worked well as a team, does he want me to go back and work for him? Can I do that?

On a practical level, yes. The idea of giving up waitressing and using my disability in a professional capacity has been rattling around in my brain since Dallas and the more I develop my ability to use it the more I want to. It means spending my working life around vampires but I think in reality I passed that point of no return quite a while ago. And possibly I don't really have a lot of choice. I could move away and start fresh somewhere else, go back to school or whatever but I'd need money for that, and with my woeful lack of qualifications it would be back to waitressing. And the idea holds no appeal. I'm no more human than the vampires and increasingly I feel like I don't belong in their world, that I'd be pretending just so I'd fit in, and I've been doing that my whole life already, it's getting old. At least with vampires there's some merit seen in what I can do. Is that depressing? Should it make me miserable? I don't know.

On a personal level, is it really a good idea to go back and work for Eric? Now the whole secret thing is out in the open he'd probably treat me well, his employees both human and supernatural are all loyal to him for a reason, even Alcide who's a vampire hater by default. But can I do it, can I be around him all the time feeling the way I feel about him? Like a telepathic Miss Moneypenny. It would certainly qualify as masochistic, but crushes wear off don't they? Look at Tara, she had an epic crush on Jason for years and she's over him now.

Yeah, but she was miserable around him for years first.

But it isn't even going to be that simple with Eric. I know he wants me physically sometimes, last night by the sink being a case in point, and he practically said as much, but there's no way I'm going to be an 'asset with benefits'. And therein lies the problem. I want him all the time. Am I going to be able to resist him? Will I always want to? If he'd kissed me in the doorway last night I'm pretty sure some 'benefits' would have occurred. But while it would have meant something to me it wouldn't have to him. And can I deal with the rest of it? Eric's not a monk and even if I manage to avoid the actual event I'm still going to have to live with the aftermath, since it seems to be all they can think about afterwards. Just thinking about it has my stomach churning with a mixture of jealousy and misery.

And what about me? That would be it, wouldn't it? Regardless of what working arrangement Eric and I could come to it won't ever be possible for me to have a romantic entanglement, not as a twice bonded asset of a King.

Maybe, and its possibly a bit farfetched, if I went to work for Eric eventually I'd find another vampire like him, one who wouldn't treat me like livestock. They're not all bad, look at Eric, Pam and Thalia. If another vampire like that existed perhaps Eric would agree to sell me?

Stomach still churning I get up and refill my coffee, wandering around the house with it as I get to work, thinking back over last night in the way I absolutely told myself not to.

Did he pretty much say I was his ideal woman?

Did he say he still wanted to protect me even though he doesn't have to anymore, even if I decide I want nothing to do with him?

Did he say that he knew I would never have agreed to that contract being placed on him?

Did he walk away from me and sit down after I cut my finger even though he must have known through the bond that what little will I had would have crumbled the second he kissed me?

What did he mean when he said that if I come to New Orleans we could work out what happens next together?

Why does he think he needs me?

My sensible side can see the reasoning behind all these things and knows that my inner thirteen year old is diligently looking for motivations that aren't there, but the teenage dreamer is powerful mojo and won't let the grown-up be miserable in peace, and though I know it's going to end badly I can't completely extinguish the tiny little flame of hope.

I'm embarrassed for myself, I really am, all I can say in my defence is that I never went through this whole crushing thing in school and I have no experience to fall back on.

The sensible thing would be to go back to the Palace in a couple of days, just in time for the coronation, talk to Eric afterwards and then make some kind of decision.

And it only looks like I'm staying longer than that because the car's so small my genuinely meagre pile of luggage is trying to escape through the windows. Besides, if I go now I might get the chance to shop for some killer heels to go with Dress Number Three, thank you whoever rescued it from the rubble in Rhodes, which I absolutely intend to wear for Eric's coronation.

…..

"Ms Stackhouse, how lovely to have you back."

"Thank you Smith, I hope it isn't an inconvenience, it was kind of spur of the moment."

"Not at all, your room is always waiting for you. Someone will fetch your bags. Would you like to go to your room and freshen up or would you prefer to start in your office?"

"Office?"

Taking my question as a decision he leads me across the foyer and down the hallway leading to the library, opening the door of the room just after it.

"Can I bring you anything? Iced tea perhaps, or coffee?"

"Um, tea please, thanks."

Smiling he backs out, closing the door behind him.

An office? My office?

Unlike the room next door this one is small and more modestly furnished, more me. Even so one of the walls is lined with books and the huge leather chair looks like Gordon Gekko should be sitting in it. There's a laptop and a cordless phone on the desk, a painting of a meadow on one wall and a flat screen on the other. Hesitantly I lower myself into the chair which seems to mould round me like an expensively smelly leather hug, with castors.

It turns easily and I find myself watching through the floor to ceiling glass doors as a couple of gardeners tend to some un-Louisiana like shrubs.

Well, I'm here, what now?

Work.

At some point I'll need to meet all these people properly so I can put names and faces to their mental signatures but for now I can content myself with sifting through them, something I find much easier now when the vampires are dead for the day, their loud inner voices are distracting.

A lot of them I recognise from the last time I was here and I'm able to find out a lot about what's been happening in my absence. Charles has been named as Eric's second, a good choice as far as I can see and a new Sheriff has already been appointed in his place. There's a book running on whether or not Pam will get Area Five, short odds, and another one on whether or not Eric will retain the Palace as his base. The Hoochie Harem has departed, with generous compensation, something which I find childishly gratifying.

There are new people here too, none of whom seem to be a threat at first glance, but one of them is Quinn. His company has been hired to perform the coronation ceremony and while he seems genuine in most respects I don't trust him one bit where Eric is concerned. To my surprise I can delve into his mind far more easily than the last time I tried. It's currently mostly occupied with planning. There is to be a cocktail reception before the ceremony which human and vampire dignitaries alike have been invited to attend, sustenance for all types of guest will be provided. Only a select handful of humans and weres will be allowed to attend the actual coronation but the other guests will be kept entertained by a buffet and a string quartet until it's over, when everyone will get together again for the ball. Apparently some of these shindigs can go on for days and Quinn and his team are pleased that this will be a short and simple affair. He's not comfortable that Eric and his people are organising their own security at the Palace and I can see in his memories that he's had several run ins with Vladimir already. Vladimir is still smarting from Andre's betrayal and is determined to prove to Eric that he's worthy of being his head of security. The visiting vampires are being put up at several vampire hotels in the city, where Quinn is responsible for security.

He's worried, after Rhodes if anything goes wrong here his company will be probably be finished, and as he's still massively in debt to the King of Nevada it will probably mean having to go back to the pits. From what I can see in his head I can understand why that's the last thing he wants.

This Nevada monarch seems to have his finger in a number of pies and I don't trust him either. Apparently Madden, his former Second, hasn't been seen since the failed takeover and he's promised to waive a significant portion of Quinn's debt if he is able to find out what happened to him while he's here. Quinn doesn't trust Nevada but with his mother and sister known to vampires he'll do anything he has to in order to keep them safe.

What did happen to Madden? Is he hiding somewhere in the wings waiting to try again, at the coronation maybe? Is that what Eric meant when he thought about needing me? I suppose I am some sort of secret weapon now that I can read vampires.

I'm still giggling over the absurdity of that when I feel him stir in the bond.

Immediately my heart starts hammering in my chest and my stomach ties itself in knots.

I shouldn't have come, at the very least I shouldn't be down here where I might bump into him, I should be indisposed in my room, or something similarly girlie . . . .

Taking advantage of the last rays of the sun I make a dash for it, weaving in and out of the crowd in the foyer, waving cheerily at Quinn as I blast past him on the stairs and slamming the door to my room behind me just in time for the light tight shutters to raise.

"Good evening."

"Eep!"

I flip the light on to find him sitting in the chair beside my bed, wearing jeans and nothing else, his hair still wet from the shower.

And as if that wasn't bad enough he smiles at me. Not a grin, a smirk, or a leer. An actual honest to goodness smile, that goes all the way to his eyes.

His smile makes him look boyish, nothing like the powerful, ancient, vampire monarch he really is.

"I am glad you are here." He says, surging to his feet and striding toward me.

Overwhelmed I back up until I hit the door and Eric is in my personal space.

Me looking up, him looking down.