Chapter 37
"Okay," Basta said after hearing Silvio's request, grabbing Dafne's hand, "Let's go."
He began pulling Dafne towards the staircase but she dug her heels in.
"Wait," she said, causing him to halt, "We can't just leave Silvio by himself."
"Why?" Basta said, tugging on her hand, "He's the one who told us to go."
He seemed a little too keen about heading up to the bedroom in Dafne's opinion.
"I think he said it because we're embarrassing him," she said, glancing at Silvio who looked evasively off to one side.
Basta snorted,
"Embarrassing him?" he turned to Silvio, "How are we embarrassing you?"
Silvio didn't answer, only shrugged non-specifically.
"Because we're kissing in front of him," Dafne said on the boy's behalf, since he seemed reluctant to admit it.
"How is us kissing embarrassing?" Basta demanded.
Silvio sighed reluctantly,
"I don't know," he said, "It's just... weird."
"Weird?" Basta repeated uncomprehendingly, "Why is it weird?"
He sounded offended.
Silvio squirmed in his seat, the movement jostling the cat on his lap. Ignacio tilted his head back to glare at the boy.
"I don't know..." Silvio said evasively.
"Because he's not used to it," Dafne said, coming to his aid again.
Silvio looked her gratefully. It was better coming from her first than from him.
"Yes that's it," he said, "I'm just not used to it."
Basta was unsympathetic.
"Well you better get used to it," he growled, "I'm not going to stop kissing Dafne just because you have an issue with it. I know you used to be infatuated with her but I thought you liked that other girl now so I don't see what your problem is."
Dafne starred at Silvio in surprise. The boy now looked horrified.
"What? Why would you..." he said in a loud nervous voice, "I've never – Dafne – No!"
He looked desperately at Dafne, adamantly shaking his head. He was blushing.
Basta laughed,
"Well you could have fooled me," he said, "The way you used to go on about her all the time. Oh Basta, she's so nice, she's the only maid who's ever spoken to me..."
"Shut up!" Silvio shouted at him, surprising Dafne. He had never raised his voice to Basta though he had good reason to now. It was the last straw for Ignacio. He leapt off the boy and stalked off to find a quieter place to sleep. Silvio was too distracted to coax him back, "That doesn't mean I'm in love with her."
Basta was unaffected by Silvio's tone. He was enjoying himself too much.
"There's no need to get so defensive," he said pleasantly, "It's nothing to be embarrassed about," he chuckled, "There's nothing wrong with liking an older woman."
"Basta, shut up!" Dafne said both indignant and exasperated. Older woman? He made her sound ancient. She crossed her arms reproachfully, "Stop teasing him."
"Oh it's just a bit of fun," said Basta unapologetically, "You two are so sensitive."
"Maybe that makes us more compatible," Dafne quipped back.
Basta frowned,
"What are you getting at? Do you want to leave me for the boy?"
He made a scoffing noise of disbelief.
Dafne smiled threateningly at Basta,
"Maybe I will."
Silvio's eyes went as wide as saucers, regarding her warily. He was probably thinking of what Basta might do to him if he became his rival.
Basta's expression had hardened now. Whether or not he was starting to believe her bluff, he definitely was not amused by it.
"No you're not," he growled, crossing his arms, "Besides he doesn't want you anyway. He's moved on to what's-her-face."
Silvio let out a groan of frustration, forgetting Dafne for the moment,
"How many times do I have to tell you? Netta and me are just friends."
"Well you can't have Dafne," Basta said possessively.
Silvio starred at him incredulously but didn't speak.
Dafne sighed. This was getting out of hand and she was partly to blame for suggesting the idea.
"He doesn't want me," she intervened, "We're like brother and sister. I was just joking before so calm down."
Basta eyed her sullenly,
"You shouldn't joke about leaving me for someone else. It's not funny."
"Well you were acting like a jerk," Dafne replied, "Especially to Silvio."
"Jerk? It's not my fault he can't take a joke..." Basta began to complain but stopped when he saw Dafne's disapproving expression and sighed, "Alright. Let's just forget about the whole thing shall we?"
He obviously wasn't going to apologise outright. But Silvio nodded in agreement, looking relieved.
Dafne was too. Relieved and tired. She yawned.
"I think I might go to bed," she announced.
"I'll go with you," Basta said quite quickly.
Dafne raised her eyebrow,
"What for?" she said, remembering how eager he had been to take up Silvio's suggestion before. "You're sleeping on the couch."
"I know that," Basta said, sounding annoyed to have her question him, "I meant I would walk you to your room."
"How gentlemanly of you," Dafne said with a mocking smile.
"You sound surprised," Basta drawled, taking hold of her shoulders and pushing her towards the staircase, "Let's go."
"Don't rush me," Dafne reproached him, "Night Silvio," she waved at the boy, "Basta will be back down in a minute."
"Or more than a minute," Basta said, "Do not come looking for me."
"Well here we are," Dafne said as they reached the bedroom. The door was open just a wedge. It was enough for a cat to squeeze through. Dafne suspected Ignacio was already inside, curled up on the bed. He had slept with her the last few nights.
She kissed Basta pre-emptively on the cheek, not wanting him to venture in and fly into another rant about cat hair.
"Good night."
Basta looked disappointed.
"That's it?"
"What were you expecting?" Dafne asked.
She somehow anticipated Basta was about to swoop on her again. She put her hand over his mouth, stopping him in his tracks. He starred around her hand in surprise.
"I thought as much," Dafne said.
Basta pushed her hand away,
"Well what you expect," he said, "It's all I've wanted to do for ages," he took hold of her chin and ran his thumb over her lips, "Even before I met you, I just wanted a woman to kiss me and none of them would."
"You think that's fair," Dafne said, "Me having to make up for all the girls who wouldn't kiss you."
Basta shrugged,
"Why not? You seem to like it. They might have liked it too if they had given me a chance."
"Well they didn't," Dafne reminded him, "I did."
The topic of Basta's unsuccessful courtships inevitably caused her mind to jump to Resa. She thought of her with growing sense of dismay. What was she going think of her? She had been more understanding than Dafne had expected on her decision to become Basta's maid. But this was a completely different level. Dafne remembered Isolda and her disapproval of her for being Basta's "woman". The woman had rejected her offer of friendship because of it. Would Resa be the same? Dafne would understand if she did but it would be no less painful.
As she was dejectedly mulling this over, Basta was smiling at her.
"You know I still can't believe you actually said yes," he said.
He laughed happily.
"You didn't have to but you did."
Dafne tried to smile but it faltered.
You're right. I didn't have to, she thought, beginning to reassess her decision for the first time.
Basta drew his arms around her. She didn't resist as he pulled her against his chest but she wasn't as comfortable there as she had been earlier.
"Basta," she said after a moment, when she couldn't stand it any longer, "I really am tired."
She needed solitude to think things over. She couldn't do that with Basta demanding her attention.
He regarded her sympathetically,
"Sleepy mouse," he said.
She nodded, trying to smile but preoccupied with the desire to be left alone.
"Yes sleepy," she said, hearing the distance in her own voice.
But Basta didn't seem to notice.
"I'll let you go then," he said.
But he didn't, he held onto her for awhile longer and she fought the urge not to break away.
Eventually, languidly, his arms slid from around her and just as she breathing a sigh of relief, his hands found her face. She regarding him wearily, feeling the press of his fingers on her skin. His face was vast in her vision as he leaned in to kiss her. The press of his lips was firm but brief. He drew back, smiling at her tenderly. She couldn't channel her energy into matching the expression, just blinked at him solemnly. He kissed her again, same strength, longer duration. She stood and received it like a like a lifeless doll. She felt a little guilty. If she had been in a more receptive mood, she would have found the kisses quite sweet.
But she wasn't. Not at the moment. She used all her effort to smile, brought her hands up to his and delicately extracted them.
"Goodnight," she said with most gentle insistence she could.
Basta sighed, still looking reluctant to leave. She closed her eyes, not sure how much longer she could be accommodating.
Please go, come on.
She heard him chuckling at her and she opened her eyes at the sound. He shook his head at her amusedly and she realised he must have thought she had been nodding off.
Fortunately it did the trick.
"Go to bed dear heart," he said, giving her face a parting caress, "Goodnight."
As soon as he was gone, she flew into the bedroom, closed the door and leaned against it with a sigh.
The first thing her eyes went to, before the bed and cat curled up on it, was the dresser and the mausoleum of bricks.
Her unease intensified. She had forgotten all about them. Downstairs she had been kissing Basta, been happy to kiss him, all the while these bricks lay together in silent reminder of why she had to be cautious.
How long before he snuck in and added another brick to the pile, hoping she wouldn't notice? Would it be before his month of deliberation ran out? How much violence could he squeeze in before then?
And she had said yes. Yes we can be together until you hopefully make the right decision.
It now seemed that she was the one who had made the wrong decision. She couldn't help feeling, starring at the bricks with their soot-covered history, that she had compromised her integrity.
What about Resa? Was Basta really worth sacrificing her friendship? She felt guilty for not even considering this when she had made the decision. What kind of friend was she? Even if Resa wanted nothing to do with her after she found out, Dafne would still do her utmost to help her escape with Dustfinger. She owed her that, even if she couldn't go with her.
There was nothing stopping Basta from simply refusing to leave in a month's time. If he did, he would make damn sure she wouldn't either. She was putting a lot of faith in him. Why? It was because she had feelings for the man, feelings which defied common sense. It was because she believed that he could be a good person. Correction, that she could make him a good person.
She should have refused when he asked her to be with him. She should have at least deferred her answer until she had time to weigh it over. She had been so elated about what he had done for Sara. She had been carried away in the moment. Her mind hadn't been cool enough to make such an important decision. Yet she hadn't waited. She had said yes and now she was stuck. She couldn't reverse her answer. She knew what Basta was like when dealing with rejection. There would be no getting through to him if she broke it off with him. She would lose him for good. He would fall back on what he knew best, with her in his sights.
I know all this and yet I'm with him, Dafne thought, I enjoy kissing him, I enjoy him holding me, what the hell is wrong with me.
She switched off the light, feeling like she was under the glare of a spotlight, thinking darkness would be a little more comforting.
It wasn't. It was worse. The air was heavy and she imagined particles of soot spiralling through the air, entering her lungs. The thought disturbed her. It was like breathing in a little piece of death.
She quickly groped her way over to bed and dived under the covers.
"What am I going to do Ignacio?" she said, drawing the cat closer to her.
He was warm but offered little assistance in easing her troubled mind. If he had any wisdom to offer, he could not speak it. She was alone in the heavy darkness with guilt weighing on her chest and her head restlessly swimming with uncertainty.
To be continued...