A/N: Hello and welcome to what I think is maybe the most important chapter of this story. I'm sure that, after reading it, you'll agree with me.

I want to thank you all for voting for POMH in The Fandom Choice Awards. I'm so honored that it won 3rd place for Best Erotica. You guys are really great.

As always, I have to shout out a very loud thank-you to my wonderful betas evelyn-shaye and EdwardsMate4ever. You two make my writing so much better. I can't even imagine what this story would be like without your help. I also want to thank my prereader Vampgirl79 for her constant support and for nominating POMH in the FCA's.

Now, go on and read what happens next in Forks. See you at the bottom.

Disclaimer: As much as I'd wish it was, Twilight's not mine.

******POMH******

Chapter 18 – Bare Your Soul

My eyes were closed as I felt thousands of little droplets of water rain down on my body. "Hey, beautiful. Have you been waiting for me?" Edward's soft voice greeted me.

I opened my eyes and shaded them with my hands against the bright sunlight that was shining from the clear blue sky. Edward was standing in front of me, wearing bathing shorts, his body and hair wet from his bath in the ocean. The sound of the waves was the perfect background music to the picturesque scene.

"Don't I always?" I answered, just before he went down on his knees beside me and bent over me, his face an inch from mine. We were alone on this wonderful beach.

He softly touched his warm, salty lips to mine. "It's a good thing you do." Immediately, my lips parted, and I slipped my hungry tongue into his awaiting mouth. As his tongue met mine, we both moaned together in satisfaction. It didn't take long before the gentle kiss turned into a heated lip-lock. My center was starting to throb with desire for Edward's touch.

He knew me all too well, letting his hand glide down the side of my body, until he reached the waistband of my bikini briefs. It stayed there for a minute before he slid his fingers inside, exploring the heat between my thighs.

"Oh, baby, you're already so wet for me." His voice sounded strange, somehow all too real, when I was absolutely sure that I was dreaming. And what a dream it was!

After stroking his index finger up and down my wet folds, Edward settled for circling my very willing clit with his magical fingers. A deep moan escaped my throat.

"You like that, don't you? When I rub you like that." It wasn't more than a whisper but somehow the feeling of the sunshine on my skin faded. I didn't hear the waves anymore, and in my half-awake state, I realized that, instead of the bikini that I had been wearing only seconds ago, my legs were covered in flannel pants. In combination, I was wearing a sweatshirt as I was lying in my bed, half on my left side, half on my stomach.

So it was only a dream. Sadly. I opened my eyes to find that the room was dark. The only sources of light were the green numbers on the display of my alarm clock on my nightstand.

But, if it was a dream, why was I still feeling Edward's fingers fondling me? And not only that, I clearly felt his breath on my neck. I tensed instantly, realizing that Edward was really in my room, in my dad's house.

"What would Chief Swan do if he found me here in your room, doing naughty things to you?" his husky, aroused voice whispered against my ear.

"I think he would probably shoot you," I answered, a little out of breath.

Edward chuckled quietly before he continued to speak. "Then I'd better enjoy my last hours on earth, don't you think?" His hand tugged down my pants only far enough to bare my sex as I was still facing away from him. He moved closer. One arm reached around my waist, his hand directly going for my clit again. His lips brushed along my neck, from the base to my ear and back down again.

The thought of him in my room, under my father's roof, with my dad and Sue in the other room, frightened me, but turned me on a lot at the same time.

Edward's fingers moved back and forth, circling, then rubbing and squeezing my peak. My breath seemed as loud as thunder to me.

"You enjoy a bit of danger, don't you? I thought so at the club last week. But we have to be very quiet not to wake your father." With that, his tongue licked the shell of my ear as his warm breath tickling my skin.

This was so wrong but so very good at the same time. I felt my insides tense as Edward's fingers rubbing me went faster and harder. I grabbed my pillow, clawing my fingers into it, as I felt my toes curl, and a sudden wave of extreme pleasure raced through my body.

I buried my face in the pillow when an orgasmic scream threatened to wake up the whole house.

Edward chuckled against my ear again. "You're a good girl, screaming into the pillow. And good girls get rewarded." He pulled my pants down and threw them to the ground. Next, he pulled my sweater over my head, all the time keeping me facing away from him.

When his bare skin touched mine, I realized that he was naked himself. He reached behind him quickly, and a second later, I heard a foil package rip open. Another moment passed, and he was spooning me from behind, the tip of his cock lined up with my aching center.

"You know you're risking your life here?" I teased in a rough whisper.

"There are things worth dying for." In one quick thrust he had inserted his whole length inside me, making me gasp.

"Sshhh, we need to be quiet," he breathed against my ear before he moved his hips back and forth. I bit my lower lip to keep from moaning with the wonderful feeling of Edward inside me in this position.

He moved in and out gently a few times, his right hand was around my waist, cupping my right breast while his thumb brushed over my hard nipple.

"You're so hot, baby. And you feel so incredibly good." Again he pulled out and drove himself back in again.

Then he rolled on top of me, pushing me to lie flat on my stomach with my legs slightly spread. The change of angle enabled him to shove himself even deeper into me. Oh, this was so unbelievably good. His pace picked up, and his thrusts became harder and deeper.

I moaned, trying to keep the volume down. "Oh God. This feels so good."

A few moments later, Edward reached around my body, placing his hand on my stomach in an attempt to lift my ass up. I played along, finding myself kneeling before him on all fours. He placed both hands on my hips, guiding me forward a bit, before slamming me back against him, impaling me to the hilt.

"Oh." I groaned probably way too loud.

Edward warned, "Baby, if you're not quiet, I'll have to stop."

It felt so incredibly good. I didn't want to risk him breaking it off at any cost. So I bit my lip, moved my hips forward and slammed my body back against his, making him moan out quietly.

He was deeper inside me than ever. That feeling alone made this the most intimate and lustful experience I'd had to date. That, combined with the idea of Edward taking me doggy style, made my core become even wetter than it already was.

He rammed himself deep inside me a few times, before he bent down, one hand resting on my hip, as the other reached around me, his fingers starting to rub my clit. Immediately, my center walls started to quiver.

"This is so fucking good, baby. You're so wet." He plunged his hardness into me deeply, and with each thrust, he slammed harder against me, our skin making smacking sounds each time our hips met.

The feeling of him inside me as deep as this alone, hitting my g-spot with each move, and his fingers circling my peak, made me pant as I pushed myself back against Edward over and over with increasing force.

His other hand left my hip and held my breast, his fingers pinching my nipple hard, and in that very moment, I totally lost control. My hands grabbed my pillow and pressed it against my face as I screamed into it at the top of my lungs when I exploded inside. A climax that took my breath away ripped through me. I was still panting heavily while sparks danced around behind my closed lids. Then Edward moaned lowly but very intensely, stabbing my sex hard a couple more times before he kind of collapsed on top of me, both of us breathing erratically.

****POMH****

"Wow. You have a lot of nerve to pull this stunt here with my father in the other room," I whispered, resting my head on Edward's chest, his arm firmly around my waist.

"I couldn't help myself. I had this dream, you know, and all of a sudden, I wanted you very badly." His other hand was playing with a strand of my hair.

"Good thing I wasn't that far away." I giggled quietly as my fingers were toying with his chest hair.

"You have a comfortable bed, by the way," he started after a long pause. "So that can't be the reason why you're not staying here until Sunday. I mean, you could stay the whole weekend, and yet you want to go back to Seattle on Friday. The whole evening, I've been wondering why that is. Charlie and Sue are so nice." It was too dark to see his face, but I knew he was wrinkling his forehead.

"It's not them," I began but paused for a second, deliberating what to tell him. I decided to go with the truth. "It's this room. I don't like to be in here. I only ever stay here on Thanksgiving and Christmas and never more than two nights tops." I felt uneasy admitting that, because I knew he would continue asking. When I had told him about Jacob, I'd left out specifics like where we had been together. But why shouldn't I tell him? He knew about Jake anyway.

"What happened here that was so bad that you don't want to stay at your father's house anymore?" Although he was whispering, I could hear that he sounded concerned and sad.

I snuggled even closer to him before I answered his question. "I lost my virginity in this very bed. I told you how that went." I couldn't fight the images of Jacob's shocked face shortly before he left from flooding my mind.

"Oh. That was here? I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have come up here just like that." Worry was thick in his tone.

I tried to quickly dispel his concerns. "No, no. That's alright. Actually, from now on, instead of being sad looking at this bed, I'll blush ten shades of red remembering what we did here tonight." It was true. The memories we'd made just a few minutes ago seemed to outweigh the bad ones from back then.

It was quiet for some time before Edward spoke again. "What happened so many years ago is still haunting you, isn't it?" His voice was soft and sympathetic just like his light caresses.

"It is. I mean, I've never had a real relationship because of Jacob. The three efforts I made went to shit after a short time. The men always wanted things I wasn't able to give them. So I broke it off."

For a moment, I reveled in Edward's hand moving up and down my side in a soothing manner. "Jacobleft me with shattered self-esteem and a general distrust in all things male. I've gone through man after man for years, without letting anyone get close enough to hurt me."

I took a few breaths, thinking about what to say next and somehow it all wanted out. "It's flattering when a man hits on me, wants me. Then I go home with him. No last names, no numbers. A quick fuck, just like I was for Jacob. The difference is, now I'm the one in control. I can leave whenever I want." That was what I always told myself. But there was also a giant downside to my lifestyle.

"Then, later, as soon as I come home, I feel incredibly cheap for letting them touch me, kiss me, letting them inside me." My voice broke over the last words. I closed my eyes, trying to will the shame away. "God, I let someone take my virginity without even so much as a date before. If that doesn't scream 'slut', then what does?"

Tears were pooling in my eyes, and I was glad that it was too dark for Edward to see them. "I've never told this to anyone before." The whispered words were almost too quiet to understand. It was true. Even Alice didn't know how I felt, how I was loathing myself for my promiscuity. But somehow, it felt right to tell Edward. It was a relief to finally have someone knowing about me, the real me.

He was quiet for several minutes as I was regaining my composure, and my tears ceased to flow. I started to think Edward had fallen asleep when he finally spoke again.

"Do you feel cheap after being with me? Please, be honest, Bella." He asked the question tenderly, unable to suppress the worry in his tone.

My hand stopped playing. Instead, it rested on his chest. "No, I don't. Being with you somehow doesn't feel wrong. With every one of those men, it did." It was hard for me to admit a thing like that, to talk about my feelings. But he was really my friend, had proven that more than once. He made me feel like we could really talk about everything.

"Thank you. For you to feel cheap is the last thing I'd want. It makes me really sad that you think that way about yourself. And I don't see a reason for it. There's no need to regret taking what you want." The hand that had been running through my hair was now moving up and down my arm.

"I feel like a slut when I think about how many men I've been with. I'm embarrassed even thinking about it." Usually I tried to push that thought away as much as possible, but as I was putting my cards on the table, what use was there in holding anything back?

"How many, Bella? Please, tell me." He spoke softly, laced with a lot of emotion. When I didn't answer, he asked again. "It can't be that bad. Just tell me."

I closed my eyes. I never wanted to know how many men I'd been with. But no matter how much I tried to deny it, I knew the exact number without even having to think about it. I was more than ashamed of myself, but I answered him anyway. Hot tears started to flood my eyes again. "Sixty-three." I breathed against his chest, waiting for him to pull away from me in disgust. But it didn't happen. Instead, his hold on me seemed to tighten.

"Sixty-three is your total? Let me sum up: sixty-three men in what, seven years?" He snorted quietly, but it sounded neither amused nor ironic. "Bella, are you aware of what I did after that joke of a relationship with Tanya ended? I screwed everything with a heartbeat for eighteen months. You want to know my total? You'll probably be repulsed by me." His voice was suddenly hard, as always when he talked about Tanya and the aftermath.

"How many?" I whispered tonelessly.

"Eighty-two, in eighteen months. Well, not really. Seventy-one in eighteen months. The others were before Tanya and, of course, there's you." He said it like I had a special place in his history.

Edward gently brushed his lips over my forehead. "Bella, we are who we are. Everyone comes with baggage. But you're still the most amazing woman I've ever met. You're smart, beautiful, have a wonderful sense of humor. Every man would be happy if you would love him. And every one who's not is an idiot. You don't have to be ashamed of anything. And most certainly not when it comes to me."

There was a long silence again before I spoke.

"What makes me feel a bit better is knowing that I've always been protected. So, other than Jacob, no one ever came that close. Although I've been on the pill since I was scared about being pregnant for a week back then, I always insisted on using a condom." It was a stupid consolation, but it meant a lot to me.

"You even thought you were pregnant? That must have been a horror at the time." He stroked my back quietly for a few seconds. "I haven't been with a woman without protection since my first girlfriend, either. Even in our five years together, Tanya always insisted on using a condom. She always told me her body wouldn't tolerate the pill. Now I know better. Given her amount of partners at a time, she couldn't risk catching or passing on any diseases." As before, when Tanya came up, his voice was hard.

"I'm sorry. I always thought of it as real intimacy to be with someone without any barriers. A condom somehow still stands between two people." Suddenly, I longed to be that close to someone — no, not someone, Edward. I'd wanted him, to feel him, since the moment we met, but I hadn't realized how close I really wanted him to be.

"I think so, too. Tanya was a mistake. But, apart from that, until now I never felt the desire for that kind of intimacy." I wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean. Did he want me that way? He always assured me that friends was exactly what he wanted us to be. But right now, and after so many things that had been said tonight, it seemed like he wanted more anyway. And for the first time, I wasn't afraid of the thought of Edward being a bigger part of my life.

"You should sleep now, Bella. I'll go downstairs to make sure your dad doesn't find out about this." His arms let go of me, and he lifted the covers to get out of the bed as I grabbed his wrist.

"Please, stay. I'll set the alarm for five-thirty. That's half an hour before Charlie or Sue usually get up. If you go downstairs then, they still won't notice anything." I was surprised by how pleading my voice sounded — like a child that didn't want to sleep alone in fear of nightmares. But in a way, that's what this was about. As long as Edward was with me, everything was good and felt right. No bad memories or feelings of regret ever entered my mind.

A second later, he was beside me under the covers again, pulling me close in our previous position.

"If you want me to, I'll stay. Now, sleep, my Bella." He touched his lips to my forehead, and seconds later, I dozed off to a very pleasant sleep.

********POMH********

A/N: Was it important or was it important? Will Bella's behavior change from here on out? I have to make a confession. I wrote this chapter last June when I was on vacation with my family in Italy. About two paragraphs before I was done, my computer shut down for an update before I had the chance to save the last page. So I had to write it again, but as hard as I tried, I didn't get it to be as good as it was before. I hope you liked it anyway.

So, you're up for a little teaser for chapter 19? Here it goes:

… "No. I just thought … I mean, you said the couch was uncomfortable whereas my bed was alright. So I thought I could share it with you." Oh my God, I was rambling. …

I know it's not much of a teaser but everything else would give too much away.

Before I say goodbye for this week, I wanted to remind you of my Facebook group. It's called Payton79's Fanfiction. There are longer teasers and pictures and hopefully some interesting discussions. I'd be happy to meet you there.

Have a great week. See you all next Tuesday.