Disclaimer: Do not own TVD

Damon was playing with Jeremy on the Xbox. He was losing.

"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? IT'S NOT POSSIBLE! YOU'RE CHEATING SOMEHOW! HOW ARE YOU CHEATING? I CAN'T SEE YOU CHEATING! WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY CONTROLER? MY CONTROLER IS JAMMED! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CONTROLER YOU DICK?"

"GOD DAD WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND JUST TAKE IT LIKE THE MAN?"

"STOP SAYING GAY THINGS JEREMY!"

"MAYBE I AM GAY DAD!"

"IMPOSSIBLE! YOUR MOTHER FOUND YOUR VERY HETERO PORN STASH UNDERNEATH YOUR BED!" Jeremy paused the game and turned to his father.

"What?" He asked Damon who was frozen. "Dad, what did you just say? Mom found my porn? How do you know? You two can't even be in the same room." Damon cleared his throat and looked down at the carpet.

"She, umm, she kinda, sorta, gave it to me..." Jeremy froze this time.

"You, you, you, you have my porn stash?"

"Yeah but hey. It's good porn. The ladies all have good back stories. It's classy porn."

"DAD. How the fuck...?" Jeremy took a deep breath. "How long has mom known?"

"A week. Maybe two." Damon glanced at Jeremy and stood up to get a drink. "A month."

"A MONTH?" Jeremy stood up shocked. Not only has his mother gone through his stuff and found something personal of his and gave it away to his FATHER but she hasn't said anything to him in a MONTH. Damon downed his drink.

"Look, Jenna didn't want it to be awkward between you. Plus she wanted me to have the sex talk with you. I don't really see what there is to talk about. Use a condom. And bang with a bang. The rest you can learn from the kamasutra." He smiled at his son who looked uncomfortable.

"Dad, as long as we are on the subject. Is it true that in real life they don't sound as...enthusiastic as they do in the videos?" Damon grinned.

"They always sound like that when they're with me. Especially your mother. But I work hard at that." The front door slammed loudly. "Five bucks it's your mother." Jeremy raised his eyebrows.

"Dad. I'm not going to even bother betting with you seeing as I can see who walked in and you're not facing the door."

"So it's not your mother?"

"Oh it's my mother alright. She seems pissed. Don't know at whom yet." Jenna walked into the living room.

"Jeremy, get your stuff." She said to her son.

"Ric." Jeremy and Damon said in unison. Jenna looked at the two in suspicion but then shrugged it off when Jeremy went to get his bag from his room. Damon looked at her whilst sipping his drink. After a moment of silence he couldn't take it anymore. He really wanted to know what 'Perfect Ric' did that pissed her off so much.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jenna looked at him for a second before responding.

"You win." Damon looked at her confused. "You fucking win. Ric asked me for a prenup. I refused and he proposed to Meredith. Congratulations Damon Salvatore. I no longer can pretend that any other man besides you is worth enough the trouble." Instead of being gloriously happy like Damon imagined she should be, Jenna seemed peeved.

"Well what do you want me to do about it?"

"I don't FUCKING KNOW OKAY? Flee the country maybe?" Damon cocked his head at Jenna and took a few steps towards her.

"Sure. Right after you pay up." Jenna grimaced but came forward and gave him the money.

"Oh look at that. Here's your money dick." Damon counted the bills.

"There's a couple hundred missing beautiful. Seems you won't get rid of me that easily." He smiled at her seductively and put an arm around her waist. Jenna narrowed her eyes.

"Not even if you lose your most precious possession?" She asked. Damon let go of her but he didn't move back.

"Careful Jenna, people may start to think you still have feelings for me." He smirked. Jenna smirked as well.

"Careful Damon, people may start to think you actually care." They heard Jeremy walk downstairs and moved apart quickly.

"Just for the record." Damon whispered. "I don't."

"Of course not." She bit back and walked to her son who came into the room. "Ready to go honey?"

"Yeah mom. Dad, I'll see you tomorrow and remember to fix your fucking controller." He grinned as his father glared. Jenna hit Jeremy on the back of his head. "Ow. What was that for?"

"Language." She waved at Damon not looking at him. When Jeremy and Jenna were in the car the silence was overwhelming. Jeremy looked outside his window and thought how he could make the silence less tense.

"So," He started and Jenna only glanced at him because she was driving. "Dad told me you found my porn stash." The car swerved for a second and cars behind them honked. Jenna hit the steering wheel angrily. Whilst Jeremy smirked.

"FUCKING SALVATORE!" She screamed.