When Merle came home that night, he was already gone.

I knew from the moment he took off his leather jacket and threw it on the couch. His arms were red and swollen where he'd shot up, probably with some other spaced-out chicks like the ones from the night before. I honestly had no idea how that dirty, rude as hell, sonofabitch was able to pick up so many girls. It was probably 'cause the girls he was chasin' were a little like easy pickin's.

The first thing he did was turn off my music. Even though we were rednecks through an' through, my brother preferred rock n' roll. Said it reminded him of sex with wild women and all the drugs he liked doin'. I always listened to Country music. I think it was 'cause they always sang about bein' lonely, an' it made me feel like someone finally got it. Merle certainly didn't, regardless of the fact that we were kin. He always wanted me to be like him, ridin' bikes, gettin' high, and shackin' up with a different whore every night. I had to admit though, I'd done my fair share of all that, but for some reason it just wasn't good enough for me anymore.

"I can't believe you listen to that sappy shit" my brother slurred. The fact he'd already been drinkin' was plain as the day was long. I don't know why I ever thought he'd change, why I ever thought one day everythin' would be different. I guess it was just my way of getting through the day.

"Sorry that I'm a real redneck" I huffed as I grabbed the bottle of Jack from the table an' took a giant swig. "Makes me think of different times."

Merle laughed, just like I thought he would. I don't know why I still tried to connect with him, why I hadn't just given up on him. I guess it was 'cause he's my brother, my only blood. He'd been the one to step in to take my lashes as a kid. He'd been the one who locked me away so our drunk bastard daddy couldn't get to me. He'd been the one to put me on the back of his bike and got us away. I owed him more that I wanted to admit, but we both knew what would have happened to me if it wasn't for him. "Gotta getcha to listen to real music, Darlene" he teased, "What kinda woman is gonna wanna fuck ya if yer too emotional to get it up?"

I took another gulp of the firewater and slammed the glass bottle down on the tile counter. It shattered, breakin' into a million pieces, some of which were stuck in my hand. I pulled them out with my teeth and wrapped my hand in my dirty bandana so the bleedin' would stop. "Yeah Merle, because real women are too knocked the hell out to say no, right?" Grabbin' my leather vest and keys, I ran out the apartment and got on the bike, racin' as fast as I could toward the woods. If there was any place I wanted to be, it was out under the stars where no one could see me.

I picked a spot in a clearin about half-a-mile in, a spot that I went to a lot. Whenever I wanted to get away from everybody, it was the first place that came to mind. There was a tiny creek that ran through that part of the woods, and the sound of the runnin' water always had a way of calmin' me. Fallin' to my knees at the edge, I unwrapped my hand and dipped it into the cool water. It stung like hell, but it felt good in a way I couldn't really explain. After I was sure it was clean, I wrapped the wet bandana around my hand again and moved away from the water. After takin' off my boots, I rolled up my vest and propped my head up on it so I could watch the night pass.

But slowly my thoughts changed into her again. They took on her face, her body, her voice. I thought about our moments earlier, like when I stopped in front of the Church that afternoon, or when she came to my door. I was shocked to see her there for a good reason and not just to bitch about somethin' we were doin' wrong. I'd been hopin' that she wouldn't say anything to me about the church thing. I had to lie to her, what would I have told her, "Oh, yeah, I treat ya like shit but I stopped to stare at yer smile"? No way. At least she had a decent taste in music.

Not gonna lie, I was kinda glad she didn't come in when I asked 'er to. I imagine her place looks much better than mine and Merle's. I bet she doesn't have used needles and empty bottles of booze all over the place, or piles of puke neither. I pictured her place to be warm and welcoming, with all sorts of books and shit, not disgutin' and scary.

Oh, but that body though. I'd seen 'er runnin' before around town, and boy did it do her good. Her legs were firm and her ass was just perfect. I could probably fit both my hands over that sweet rear-end she's got. She's not stacked like most of the girls I'm used to, but 'er tits are just the right size to me. They look like the perfect hand-full. God, and that voice. I'd given anything to hear her moanin' my name. Just the thought was enough to make me hard as a damn rock. Knowin' I was alone, I took off my jeans and jacked myself off to the girl next door. I had cut my left hand, which was lucky for me since I was a righty, and I grabbed myself hard, pumpin' even harder. I was imaginin' her face down ass up out here in the woods, beggin' for me ta fuck 'er. I finished pretty quick and passed the fuck out right after.

The next mornin', I got back on the bike and rode back to the apartment building. I saw that the truck was gone as I pulled up, which meant Merle was gone too. I was glad, only 'cause I didn't feel like puttin' up with his shit so early in the mornin. It was about seven, right around full day break. I usually didn't wake up 'til about noon unless I was goin' huntin' or fishin'.

I rushed up the stairs to my floor and noticed a note hangin' from my door. The shitty handwriting was definitely my brother's.

"Darlene, went huntin' with the boys. Be back in a few days. PS: Left ya some Tylenol and Jim for that PMS you're havin'. "

I crumbled up the note and threw it down the hall, only to notice that the girl across the hall had her door wide open. I knew she lived alone, so I put my hand on the knife on my belt and walked up to the doorframe to look for her. I don't know why I did, I just felt like I had to. Her apartment was everythin' I had imagined and more. She had drawin's on the walls, a fancy TV, and bookcases linin' the room. I couldn't spot her anywhere though. The next thing I knew, I was hearin' a soft voice coming from the back where her bedroom must be. She was sweepin' with her eyes closed, singin' as she went along.

" Don't let this moment linger
Now would be a real good time
To reach out with your fingers
And get 'em tangled up with mine "

I'd never heard anything so beautiful in my life. Actually, it kinda reminded me of my momma. The softness and warmness in her voice sent me back to before my mom left us, to when she would sing us to sleep after long days of playin' out in the woods. When I dropped my head and looked at the floor, I saw a pile of dust and dirt at my feet and realized why she had the door open. She was sweepin' out the door and she was comin' right at me. I unlocked my door and threw myself inside before she could see me. As I was leanin' against the door, I could feel my heart racin' a mile a minute. I felt like sixteen year old boy playin' grab ass. I was old enough to be her daddy, for Christ's sake and the night before I was beatin' it the thought of her! I was worse than Merle...

Takin' a bottle of Bourbon out of the cabinet, I dropped myself down onto the couch and turned on my music. All I wanted to do was get lit and be able to forget about the past couple'a days. The liquor burned on the way down, but in a delicious sorta way. I was about to pass out when I heard a light knock at my door, just like the one from the day before.