I run up to Gryffindor tower, quickly shouting 'grindleknut' to the fat lady, through the common room and up to the sixth year girls dorm. Its empty when I get there so I just throw myself on my bed and bury my head in the pillow.

The next thing I hear is the sound of the dormitory door opening and closing, then I hear footsteps padding over to my bed before feeling it dip downs someone sits next to me.

'Hermione, whats wrong?' Lily Evans concerned voice reaches my ears.

I just shake my head, not saying a word. I feel her hands reaching my shoulder and gently start to prise me away from my pillow. I turn around and look her in the eyes.

'Aw Hermione, what's wrong? You look like the world's about to end.'

'I've done something really stupid'

'What?'

'Sirius'

'Sirius?' She looks shocked. 'You mean that pranking pratt Sirius Black?'

I just nod.

'You've done Sirius Black, ewww, I mean ick , yucky eww. How could you? I mean yea, he is popular and that long hair is always, like, clean and he, ok, he has an alright smile I guess, I mean his teeth look alright. But he's Sirius Black, I mean that spiteful, rule breaking, nice smelling, pillock. You did him? Like did him did him?'

Whilst she is going through her little tirade I calm down, almost forgetting what I was upset about, just staring at her when she finishes.

'Hermione? You did him?'

'Gods Lily, I kissed him, that's all. No actual doing took place.'

'Well you said….'

'I know what I said, and I also know what you said,' I raise my eyebrows at her.

'What?' She asks trying to look all innocent.

'Well from what I heard, I now know why you are always turning James down, he is not the marauder you fantasise about'

'Ugh, don't you start using that ridiculous nickname for those idiots'

I giggle a little and then groan and flop back down on the bed.

'Come on Mione, I need gossip'

I look up at her and roll my eyes.

'That's the best you got, your supposed to be a friend trying to help me through my pain, not after idle gossip.'

'Talking heals Hermione, everyone knows that,' she sounds coy.

'Ok, okay, we were in an empty classroom on the third, arguing about that prank he played on the Slytherin fourth years, you know the one whilst they were in potions?' Lily nods. 'Yea so we are arguing and it was pretty intense. He called me a know it all, unimaginative little witch who has no concept of fun or laughing or anything else, who is just going to end up an old squib like maid with no friends, who won't have had a shag her entire life.'

'And you kissed him after that?' Lily asks looking confused.

'No I slapped him after that. And the I went to slap him again, but he caught my arm in his hand, and I don't know, for some reason it made me stop, made us stop, and it felt strange, kind of tingly in my stomach, and we looked at each other and we kissed.'

'Wow it sounds kind of romantic, I mean except for the insults and violence.'

'Yeah I guess, until we stopped kissing, I slapped him again and ran away'

'What? Hermione Why?'

'Why do you think Lily? It's Sirius Black'

'I know, but….'

'but nothing, you said it all with eww and ick.'

'Yea, I know, well he's not exactly the boy I would chose, but come on, there is obviously heat there.'

I just look at her.

'Hermione, really, what's going on?'

'All we do is argue.'

'And have sexy kissing sessions.'

'One kiss,' I reprove

'One sexy, hot kiss, with added chemistry, probably why you argue all the time.'

'Oh come on Lils.'

'Hermione, why not go and find him?'

'Lils, me and him, we're not supposed to be together, I can't explain it, I just know it.'

'Mione…..'

'I'm just tired Lils, can you let me sleep?'

I smile at her, she nods, gets up and leaves me alone. I lie there knowing that sleep just isn't coming tonight.

The hardest part about all this is that Lily's right when she says that there's chemistry between me and Sirius. There is. I hoped there wasn't going to be, I hoped that he wouldn't notice me, I mean, I know I am nothing special, just a mousy brown, bushy haired girl. I don't see a lie in the mirror, I see me in all my imperfect glory.

I noticed him, the first time I saw him walk into the great hall, for the welcome feast. I was already sat down, Professor McGonagall had introduced me to Lily Evans and Alice Whitsun, who were both very friendly and we were chatting quite amicably, when I heard someone shouting, 'Evans, my one true love, are you ready to set the date?' We all looked around I did a double take, for a second I thought I was looking at Harry, until I realised that I was actually looking at his father, James Potter, Lily told him to bog off and then I heard him, Sirius Black, he said something to James about how Lily must be warming up to the idea because she hadn't hexed him, Lily just rolled her eyes, turned back to us and started talking, but I wasn't listening, I couldn't believe that this boy was the same person as the man I remember, I for one couldn't remember him being this, well for want of a better word, hot. He was gorgeous, a tall lean body, his black hair was long, reaching below his shoulders, and thick, such a lovely shade of black, yes apparently black has shades now, his face was , well, just wow, a beautiful smile and the most amazing grey eyes I have ever seen, so alive and sparkling. He noticed me staring at him and he gave m a wink, I quickly turned my head away and tried to get back into the conversation with the girls, but my mind was too busy thinking about just how sexy Sirius really was.

From that moment I knew I was gone, I wanted him and there was no possible way I could have him. I took solace in the fact that at least he would never want me, so there wasn't really a problem.

Apparently though, it seems that I was wrong.